


I Started a Joke

by Naferty



Series: The Iron Soldier [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Captain America: The First Avenger, Cousins Sharon and Tony, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Has caused many to cry, Homelessness, Inaccurate 40's Establishment, Iron Soldier, Lots of Angst, M/M, Mind Control, No Sharon bashing here, Secret Identity, Sharon Friendly, Time Travel, Tony is the Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-14 02:02:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 102,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4545966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naferty/pseuds/Naferty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Tony?" </p><p>"Who the hell is Tony?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Boy Named Tony

**Author's Note:**

> First Avenger fic and it has time travel and it's going to change main points in Captain America.  
> I hope the summary and tags tell you enough about where the general direction of this fic is going!

The sound of whimpering mixed with a sob or two that came from inside the supposedly deserted alleyway was what stopped Steve in his tracks. There were no signs of anyone being present but he couldn’t very well ignore the evidence that sound was indeed coming from somewhere inside, meaning someone was hiding and was hurt or in trouble or needed help.

Steve, knowing full well how it felt needing help but not getting any, couldn’t just keep walking and pretend he didn’t hear anything and leave it alone. He followed the noise of the whimper and quickly heard another sob and a distressed intake of breath when he crept closer inside the space. It was early in the night and the dark limited his vision the deeper he went but even with the little sight he had there was no way he could have missed the curled figure shivering with the occasional twitch of the hands.

The figure – the _person_ – had their arms wrapped around themselves with their head bowed over their tucked knees. It was a pose Steve was all too familiar seeing during this time of year when the city was kissed by the sharpness of winter. The hunched figure was shivering violently, as was expected considering what they were wearing; something that he guessed was a black shirt and slacks that he’d never seen before. Even their shoes were different to the point he couldn’t begin to describe them.

With that being the only protection against the winds it was no wonder the figure was shaking.

Steve himself was barely fighting against the cold and he was wearing a large coat that swallowed up his body. He couldn’t imagine what this person was going through. Gingerly, he crept closer, taking the sight’s detail. He found the figure had more than he original saw. There was a blanket of sorts that covered half the body on the opposite side of where Steve stood. Next to the blanket there was a circular spot covered in ash.

A fire, Steve concluded. But the ashes have long gone cold by now.

The person took a sharp breath that created another sob and something inside Steve broke.

“Excuse me, are you alright?”

The figure stiffened and, if possible, curled themselves further. That action itself made Steve feel odd. Never before had he experienced someone retreating from just him saying something.

“Are you hurt?” He tried again.

A muffled sound answered him.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

“Go aw’y.”

Well that wasn’t something he expected someone who needed help to say. And from the sound of it Steve figured the figure was absolutely male.

“I’m not leaving until I’m sure you’re alright.”

The man shivered from the wind blowing through the alley.

Not one to give up Steve kept trying, “Do you need anything? Are you injured?”

His head snapped up and even though the man was freezing and his face was covered in grime and tears the livid stare he gave nearly sent Steve reeling. There was so much anger and fear and desperation on that young, hairless face. Those big brown eyes swirled with hopelessness and the tears smeared the grime on his cheeks. There was no more fight in the young man. This was the face of defeat and on someone who looked to be no older than sixteen it was ten times worse.

How had someone this young ended up in this situation?

“Do I need _anything_?” The boy sneered, teeth rattling from the cold, “Does it look like I need anything, Genius? No, I’m peachy. I’m living the life. You see me living the life? Everything I’ve ever wanted right here with me,” as he said this the tears began forming again. “Go away and leave me alone.”

Clearly Steve was not going to do that. He wasn’t going anywhere until he helped this person, any way he could. He kneeled in front of him to meet him at eye level. The young man glared, the effect ruined by the tears, and tried tucking in his legs further. “I’m not leaving,” Steve said, looking and feeling determined. “I want to help. A kid like you shouldn’t be out here alone. Don’t you have anywhere to go? Family?”

“I’m not a kid. I’m eighteen, and you think I’d willingly camp here if I _had_ family?”

Steve studied the boy again. Eighteen? He looked so young to be eighteen, what with his face free of stubble and far too large eyes that almost looked child-like. The age took some of the edge off the idea of this person being out here alone and freezing, but it still didn’t sit right with Steve. Young adult or not he shouldn’t be sitting here. There were options for those who were homeless.

“A shelter then. I’ll take you to the nearest one.”

Brown eyes narrowed at him, making a face Steve was all too familiar with seeing on his friend’s, Bucky’s, face. It made him feel foolish for suggesting the shelter, but he refused to back out. The narrowed eyes closed and the boy tucked in his head in his arms again, mumbling something.

“What?” Steve opened his eyes slightly, as if it would allow him to hear the boy better.

The boy raised his voice, “I said I’m not allowed there.”

“Not allowed? How can you not be allow – ”

“I was kicked out, alright,” he snapped, lifting his head. In his eyes Steve could note embarrassment hidden in them. “I mouthed off some helper and some creep who wouldn’t leave me alone and I got kicked out.”

Well that was something Steve hadn’t heard of. Someone getting kicked out of a shelter, was that even possible? “I’ll take you to the shelter over at Harv – ”

“Complained about the food and got kicked without being able to finish it.”

What? No – no – that was, no. That can’t be possible. That doesn’t happen. “The shelter over at Perry then.”

The boy tried grinning but it came off as a grimace, “I tried borrowing someone’s stuff. They weren’t happy.”

Steve blinked, “You stole things.”

“ _Borrowed_. I was going to return it.”

“Did you even ask to borrow it?”

“I did, they didn’t want to hand it over. I went ahead and borrowed it anyway.”

Steve felt his hands clench. He hated bullies, and people who steal from others were some of the biggest bullies out there. “You stole it.”

“God, how many times do I have to say it? I borrowed it. Doesn’t matter anyway. Bastards caught me and kicked me out.”

Well, so much for trying to help the young man. “You’re lucky they just kicked you out. If it was me I would have gotten the police involved.”

The kid gaped, “Over a _screwdriver_? Do you know how much those things cost in this stupid time? Hell, a hobo could trade things for one. I – you know what, never mind. Go away and leave me alone already. No shelter is going to take me in and unless you’re going to turn me in to the police after confessing to some petty crime there is nothing else for you to say to me.”

A screwdriver? Really? Steve thought the kid tried stealing something valuable. Jewelry perhaps to sell for money, or even a simple coat at least to keep himself warm, but a screwdriver? What kind of person who was camping outside with nothing would risk trying to steal one of those?

Steve still felt a twinge of anger bubbling inside at hearing the kid confess to stealing, but it didn’t look like he did it often, considering he had absolutely nothing except the clothes on his back. Sure there was a blanket, but the blanket looked old and was torn and not something that belonged to someone recently. If the kid was really to the point of trying to steal he’d either be in police custody already or he’d at least have a bit of money to buy himself a coat. Seeing neither Steve felt compelled to press on.

“What did you need a screwdriver for? What could you have possibly gained from stealing that?”

Large brown eyes glared, “Borrowed. _Borrowed_ ,” then, as if finally defeated and giving up he sighed, closed his eyes and hid his face in his arms, “I was going to fix their heater in my room. It was freezing and the blankets hardly did anything. They didn’t care enough to give me another room and didn’t want anyone touching their stuff. I couldn’t even get the screwdriver back in my room before they screamed treason. Whatever. I was going to fix their heater for free but their fucking loss.”

If Steve were to believe this young man, which he didn’t, at least not fully, he’d say the kid was doing something he thought right but he tried doing it in the wrong way. Then again, if he had the same options as the kid he’d probably try to ‘borrow’ the tools, too. Though, Steve was never going to find himself in that position. He wasn’t someone smart enough to fix a heater, let alone know how to open one without breaking it.

Wait, heater.

His heater had been acting up recently. His joints were killing him because of the weather and not even the safety of his apartment could give him a few minutes to relax because of the old machine. He and Bucky didn’t have the money to spare to fix it. Although he’d survive the winter even if it wasn’t fixed this also gave him an excuse to use. He couldn’t let the young man sleep here for the night. He might not make it for tomorrow.

He could get his heater fixed for free and he would be saving a life at the same time. Win, win. Maybe he can even help get the kid a brighter future. Hopefully Bucky wasn’t going to be too mad about it.

“You can fix heaters?” Steve played off.

The young man snorted, “Who can’t? They’re the easiest to fix.”

“Well I have a heater that needs fixing and I have the tools, too.”

“Thanks, Sweet cheeks, but no thanks. I’m not giving my services for free. Not my brain and not my body.”

Steve reeled back, startled and scandalized. A man offering his services to another man was something that just wasn’t done. It was frowned upon and could attract lethal trouble, and yet this kid was saying it so freely, without a care or second thought. The kid was lucky he was saying this to Steve. If it was anyone else, anyone who spoke their minds and had their views set in a certain way the kid would probably be beaten to the point of death right now. Steve wasn’t going to, couldn’t. He’d be a hypocrite if he did. Still, how could anyone just say it so open? He didn’t even hesitate. Didn’t take it back at all.

Something must have shown in his face because the young man tilted his head to get a look and, did he roll his eyes? “Relax, I’m not throwing myself on you. I’m joking. No gayness here to taint your perfectly straight and sin free body. I just saw my chance to tease you and I took it. Still, my services aren’t free. Go away already.”

Steve almost corrected the young man’s statement about his… well, his preference, but didn’t. Who was this man and how was he so – so – Steve couldn’t even find the word, “You won’t be working for free. I don’t have the best place around but it’s better than sleeping outside, don’t you think? Blankets and pillows. I’ll help you find somewhere to go later, maybe even get you jobs to help other broken heaters for a bit of cash.”

“Can’t you just walk away and pretend you never saw me?” Steve didn’t budge. “Guess not. What’s your name, handsome?”

Steve tried his hardest not to blush but, God, the young man was simply out of this world. He couldn’t help but admire just how confident he was. He did not squeak his name out. He did not! “Steve Rogers.”

The man’s eyebrows reached up to his hairline in recognition. Had they met before? “Steve Rogers? _The_ Steve Rogers?”

Growing a bit self-conscious at the look, the blond nodded, “Yes? You heard of me?”

“Are there any other Steve Roger’s around? No? You sure?”

“As far as I know.”

“I’ve heard of a Steve Rogers. You’re a real… hero ‘round these parts.”

Steve chuckled. Hero? Him? He was the scrawniest and health defective fellow around. He was no hero. “Must be another Steve then. I’m just some kid from Brooklyn.”

Something in the stranger’s eyes lit up for a split second before changing to something else, something that looked like disappointment or resentment or anger. Steve had just barely met the guy, what did he do to receive those looks?

“Steve Rogers was also a kid from Brooklyn,” the brunette on the floor said, “guess you’re the same guy.”

“I’m no hero.”

The kid smiled, but it didn’t exactly reach his eyes, or even gave the slightest hint that it was meant for anything happy. “Not a hero and yet you won’t leave me alone.”

“I want to help.” Silence followed until Steve asked, “What’s yours? Your name?”

“Tony.”

The blond waited, “Tony – ?”

“Just… Tony. Tony Rhodes.”

Tony looked unsure about his own name, but Steve took it and held out a hand, “So Tony, are you willing to help me fix my heater? I’m not leaving until you either take my hand or let me take you to a shelter you haven’t been kicked out of.”

“Why, Rogers, who knew you were so forward.”

Steve felt the flush rise up his neck. Tony knew the exact buttons to press on him.

Tony stared at the hand, frowning at it before deciding that if he couldn’t get rid of Steve then he might as well accept his offer. He grabbed the hand and the dirt became clearer in comparison to Steve’s own pale skin. Helping Tony up was a bit of a challenge. Steve didn’t exactly have strength on his side and Tony was stiff from nearly becoming a frozen icicle. The blond’s joints hurt from just feeling how cold the brunette’s hand was.

“Lead the way then, my knight in shining armor,” Tony said.

By this point Steve’s face was going to permanently have a blush on it.

~~

 

Steve began fidgeting when they got closer to his and Bucky’s apartment. He should probably be fidgeting from the idea of bringing a complete stranger to their home and have their few stuff stolen right under their nose. Or from the idea that he was inviting trouble by bringing in someone who could be a criminal on the run. Maybe Tony was a murderer or some sort and Steve was lining up in becoming his next victim. Instead, he was fidgeting from the idea that Tony was going to see his apartment; his run-down apartment in a not-so-pleasant neighborhood that had paint peeling off and decaying wood.

Steve hadn’t been embarrassed when he offered Tony a place to rest in his home a while ago but now that they were reaching their destination the offer was becoming real and the idea of the brunette seeing how he lived made him feel self-conscious. What would he say? A shelter was probably better than his apartment.

His thoughts were interrupted by a “What are you thinking about so hard?”

Steve nearly stumbled, “What?”

Tony smirked, his body shaking and his arms wrapped over his chest, “You’ve been making a pouty face for the last five minutes and I can practically hear you thinking. Did someone kick a puppy that I didn’t see?”

“No?”

“Then why do you look like someone stole your favorite… something. What’s your favorite something?”

“My favorite something?”

“Look, if you keep answering my questions with questions we’re never going to get anywhere.”

“I didn’t know we were trying to get somewhere.”

“Oh you tease,” Tony muttered.

What was Steve getting himself into?

They rounded a corner and the apartments finally came into view. Steve looked to Tony to see the reaction upon the sight. Besides scrunching his face because his body refused to stop shivering he didn’t otherwise give any indication of what he thought about the apartments as they got closer. It looked like he didn’t seem to care.

“Sorry about the place,” Steve said when they reached his door, “it’s small and hardly has enough room to fit anything besides one couch and a table and we don’t have many things but it’s still somehow a mess in there. No matter how many times I try and clean.”

Tony shrugged, “Don’t sweat it. Like you said any place is better than that alleyway.” He gave a sigh of relief when the door finally opened and they went inside. The temperature change between the inside of the somewhat warm apartment and the freezing cold winds of the outside were felt instantly. The brunette relished the feeling, looking content and so different from the crying mess Steve found. He felt pride from knowing he was responsible for it, helping the young man out.

He steered the brunette in to close the door and prevent any of the limited heat from escaping. They stood somewhat awkwardly afterwards, or at least it felt like that to Steve. Tony was rubbing his arms in an attempt to warm them up and blew into his hands. He looked oblivious from the tense atmosphere, if there was any. This gave Steve a chance to actually get a good look at him standing straight. The brunette had a small, slim build. Nothing like Steve, obviously. There weren’t many out there that could beat him in being the smallest, but compared to him and Bucky, Tony was somewhere in the middle. Which just wasn’t fair. Tony was eighteen and Steve was twenty-one and he was already taller than him.

The more Steve looked him over the more he realized that Tony was attractive and he bet that once the brunette cleaned up he would be absolutely handsome.

Good, God. What was Steve doing admiring another man that was a complete stranger he was trying to help?

“So, the, uh, the couch, that one,” he pointed at the brown couch behind Tony, “you’ll be sleeping on. It’s not the most comfortable couch but it’s better than the floor. I’ll go get you some pillows and blankets.” Steve raced to the closet where they stored what little extra they had, grabbing two pillows and three think blankets, nearly dropping them on his rush back to where he left Tony standing, who was looking at him amused.

“Slow down there, Speedy. Wouldn’t want you accidentally falling and getting hurt for my expense. I don’t want to add that to my list.”

“What?” Steve said, dropping the pillows and blankets on the couch.

“Nothing. So where’s the frisky heater that’s giving you trouble?” Tony looked around.

“It’s over there, but you don’t have to work on it now. You can see to it tomorrow. You’re probably tired.”

“You’re letting me stay for the night in exchange for fixing your heater but you don’t want me to look at it until tomorrow?” Tony arched an eyebrow. “How do you know I won’t bolt out of here with all the food and spoons and shoes the moment dawn breaks?”

Steve shrugs, “You need something to cook the food if you’re going to try and steal it. The spoons aren’t really worth much and for the shoes, good luck finding them. They’re scattered around.”

“Lovely, a treasure hunt. Can’t wait to get my hands on 40’s fake leather.”

The blond frowned at the speech pattern. This was the second time he caught Tony referring to this day differently. Was there something to that?

Choosing to ignore it for now Steve went for hospitality. “Want something to eat? I think there are some leftovers up for grabs.”

Tony looked pained for a moment before nodding, “I can eat.”

Steve warmed up the food while Tony went to wash up, by Steve’s orders, and waited, studying the place and poking around. While Steve wasn’t looking the brunette found the heater and opened it with expert hands, prodding through wires and mechanics. It took him a minute (maybe less) for him to figure out what exactly had gone wrong with the overworked thing. All he needed were tools and he could get to work rewiring and tightening.

“Hey, Rogers?” Tony called out.

“Yes?”

“Where are your tools?”

Steve frowned, “I said you could wait until tomorrow.” Still warming up the food in the kitchen he heard shuffling from the living room and a ‘pang’ here and ‘ting’ there before Tony cried out “Never mind! Found them.”

Not trusting the stranger fully yet, Steve left the kitchen and went to look at the damage done. He found Tony on the floor, somehow surrounding himself with pieces from the machinery in a span of 30 seconds. He was covered with the three blankets draped over his shoulders like capes and his legs were crossed.

“What?”

“Found your problem, Rogers. I’ll have this fixed up in a jiffy. How’s the food coming along?” The brunette that was apparently a genius didn’t bother to look up.

Well. “Foods almost done warming up. You sure you know what you’re doing?”

“I am offended by what you’re implying. I’ve worked on things so much more complicated than this. This stuff is ancient. Don’t worry, I’ll have this baby running before you can say Captain Spangles.”

“Captain Spangles?”

“Ah ha! Got it. Now let’s see if this bad girl’s still got some kick in her.” In a flash of movement that Steve could barely keep up with Tony began stuffing the parts surrounding him back into the heater and before he knew it the inside of the thing looked like it was supposed to. It was clicked on when the top was finally placed and to Steve’s amazement the heater turned on without trouble and got to work! There was no shaky start and no flickering on and off. The heater lasted a full minute without showing any signs of problems and already the place was warming up considerably.

“T-that’s incredible,” Steve meant it. The heater was already working better than when he and Bucky first got the place. Almost like it was brand new.

“I know I’m amazing. Now, food?”

Steve was looking at him and the heater with his mouth opened in astonishment. How long did the entire process even take? Tony hadn’t even worked on that thing for a full ten minutes and somehow he got it working just like that.

“Rogers? Hey, Rogers? I didn’t break you, did I? Please tell me I didn’t. I work with machines, not people. I don’t know the first thing about taking care of someone.”  

“N-no, I’m good. You just surprised me. I’ve never seen someone work that fast or seen the heater working like that before.”

“You did bring me here to fix your heater. What were you expecting?” Tony looked up from where he was sitting, still wrapped in blankets and mildly annoyed.

“I honestly don’t know what I was expecting,” Steve said. “I guess I thought you’d be working on that for a while, not seven minutes.”

“A while? How long does it take for someone to fix these things?” Tony said, exasperated. “They aren’t that fucking complicated.”

“I don’t know, but can you not – ?” The blond winced at the language. Where on Earth did he learn to speak so freely like that? Didn’t his parents teach him manners of any kind?  

“Can I not what?”

“Speak like that. Your language. It makes you sound barbaric.”

Tony blinked at him, apparently not having expected him to say anything regarding his language, and for a moment he thought the brunette was going to get defensive and claim ‘none of your business’ and argue, but instead he smiled. That smile turned to a grin filled with teeth before he started chuckling and then that chuckling turned to laughter only for that laughter to turn to something that could only belong to a mad man.

Steve turned bright red. He’d been mocked before, but nothing like this. He’d been mocked for his size and for what usually came out of his mouth when he was fighting but he didn’t say anything remotely close to getting a laughing reaction, had he?

“Oh – God – Rogers you’re gonna kill me.” Tony took a deep breath. Sometime during his laughing fit he ended up resting on his back, kicking his legs up and holding his stomach.

Steve crossed his arms self-consciously and tried giving his best effort for a glare. “Are you done?”

“N-no, sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean it, Sweetheart. You just caught me off guard. No one has ever said anything about my language before. For gosh sakes, warn me next time.” Tony was still giggling but at least he had calmed down.

“Maybe someone should,” Steve retorted, peeved now.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry. You were just really adorable trying to be all stern and stuff. Couldn’t resist.”

The blush came back full force. “Why do you keep saying stuff like that? I’m not like that.”

“Like what?” Tony sat up, “Adorable? Hate to tell you, but to me you’re that. To others maybe not but that’s their taste. Better for me, less competition.”

“Stop it. I’m not adorable and I’m not like that. Into… you, I mean,” his denial sounded weak even to his own ears.

If Tony caught on he didn’t say or act on it. “Don’t get your panties in a twist. I’m not going to stick my hands down your pants, unless you want me to. But really if it bothers you so much I’ll stop. I just wanted to express myself freely. Meant no harm by it.”

Steve wanted to stay mad at Tony. He really did, but the smile he gave him with those huge, brown eyes were enough to make even Bucky cave in. He was sure of it. “Just be careful who you express yourself with. I can’t really threaten you, seeing as you’ll probably just push me down like nothing, but others won’t hesitate.”

The brunette considered this, “So you want to threaten me? Have something against it? Didn’t know heroes could be so prejudice.”

“I’m not – !” Tony let out a snicker, “You’re playing with me again.”

“Guilty as charge. So I fixed your heater and that earned me one night. Anything else needs fixing here? Got a toaster? Oven? You have microwaves already, right? No? What _do_ you have?”

The small man scratched his head, uncertain about some of the items the man sitting down had mentioned and what he was implying. Earned him one night? Was he hoping to stay another night in exchange for fixing something else? Steve would have insisted on it if he couldn’t help him find shelter. Tony had earned himself more than one night by fixing the heater. It was life against the harsh winter bite.

“The radio has been acting up lately if you want to take a crack at it,” Steve suggested, meaning more behind it than simply asking it to be fixed.

Tony grinned, relief evident on his face by that simple reply. Steve could have looked at it forever but Tony decided to break it by asking about food.

“It should be ready. Let’s get you a plate.”

The food wasn’t an impressionable size and when Tony wolfed it down and looked longingly to refill it Steve felt guilty and would give anything to feed him more. Tony looked half-starved. Thankfully he wasn’t on the verge of being skin and bones but even so he looked far too skinny for someone who was eighteen. And this coming from someone who was skinny and sickly himself. That was saying something.

“Would you like to finish mine?” Steve pushed his plate forward an inch.

Tony eyed it hungrily but tried denying it, “No, I’m fine. Go ahead and finish it. You need more meat on your bones.”

Steve gave him a dejected grin, “Trust me, no matter how much I eat it’s not going to make a difference. Don’t let this food go to waste. I insist.”

Perhaps it was pride, or perhaps Tony just didn’t like being handed things but when he accepted the plate his face was anything but grateful. And yet he wolfed it down just as fast as the first plate. Steve placed it as pride.

“Thanks, Rogers,” Tony said.

“Steve. Call me Steve.”

A grimace appeared on the young face, as if the mere suggestion caused him great pain.

“Steve then. Thanks, Steve. Now, about that radio?”

Steve gazed out the window and then the time. The lack of sun and the time signaling it being past ten meant they should hit the hay soon. Tony looked like he needed rest. A weeks’ worth of rest.

“How about you work on it tomorrow? I have an early morning and should really head for bed and I don’t think you tinkering with the radio will benefit me in getting sleep.”

Tony’s shoulders sagged in relief. Apparently the option of sleeping first and fixing things later didn’t occur to him. He got himself comfortable on the couch, or at least as comfortable as he was allowed on the lumpy old thing. Steve put away the dishes, double checked the locks on the front doors, passed the heater to make sure it was still running and even gave quick glances at the windows, just to be sure that nobody broke in to harm the figure sleeping on the couch.

A quick change and Steve was on his bed staring up at the ceiling and thinking of various ways this whole helping a complete stranger could go south. Most of them he already thought of on the way to the apartment and the only new one he thought of was Tony taking advantage of his generosity and… well, taking advantage of him. That thought disappeared just as quickly as it came. If anyone was going to touch anyone because of generosity it certainly wasn’t going to be on Steve. Nobody wanted him and his skinny and sickly form.

After the initial thoughts of how things could go south, Steve began thinking, how exactly could he start helping Tony? There were many possibilities, considering he was apparently a genius that could fix a lot of things. He could probably find a job somewhere in repairing, maybe even start a small business right here fixing things from the residents nearby. If not there might be locals looking for employees. But wait, Tony didn’t look to be carrying anything on him. Did he have identification? History of some sort? Did he have experience? For all Steve knew he might have picked up a spy.

Steve cursed himself. Why hadn’t he thought of that before? It could all be a ploy. An act. Then again what kind of spy uses homelessness as a cover? _Good ones, maybe_. Steve thought. Tony was only eighteen though. Do they really recruit them that young and throw them in the world? Tony didn’t look like someone out to steal information and he was American, from the way he sounded. Besides, what does he expect to gain from having Steve house him? It wasn’t as if Steve had anything worth stealing and giving to superiors.

Throwing Tony being a spy of some sort out the window, Steve went back to his plan. If Tony didn’t have identification or papers then getting employment might be a problem. He’ll have to do with working from the apartment then. That’s only if Tony wanted to stay. The doors would be open if he decided yes on staying.

With an idea about employment set, next came hygiene and clothing. Obviously Tony needed a shower. A very hot one to wash away the grime. That can easily be solved but with that came the issue about clothes for him. Tony needed warmer clothes, clean clothes, clothes that haven’t looked like they’ve been worn day after day. Steve didn’t think his clothes would fit the genius, but perhaps Bucky’s clothes? They might be on the large size, but anything was better than nothing. He just hoped Bucky wouldn’t pop a vein when he finds out.

Speaking of which, Bucky was scheduled to return the day after tomorrow. If Steve sets up everything right he could make it so Tony would get settled in and Bucky would have no choice but to grumpily accept. Tony fixed their heater. That alone had won him points that Bucky couldn’t fight against. At least until he realizes that Tony was using his clothes. Then that would be the beginning of a war. Hopefully by then Tony would have set up roots.

Steve only wished everything would go according to the plan he had in his head.

~~

 

When Steve woke up it took him a minute to puzzle together why his instincts insisted he checked the living room. He shot out the bed when he finally placed ‘Tony’ and ‘helping’ and ‘sleeping on couch’ and as quietly as he could he peeked out his door to see the genius still snoring softly on the couch. The three blankets draped his body and had different forms of falling off the side of the couch while covering what little they could of the figure. Tony himself had his head pillowed over his arm that was pillowed over the pillow. His other arm was hanging on the side as was his leg, both exposed to the soft heat radiating from the still on and working perfectly fine heater.

Steve was impressed. It was quality work.

The heater, that was. Not Tony.

Not that Tony was not impressive himself and had quality features, but Steve was talking about the heater.

Yes, just the heater.

Blushing from his own train of thought and fearing he was going to get caught if he remained there looking Steve began his morning routine. Breakfast was going to be a small affair if he was going to give Tony what he could to make up for the body loss. But before that he had to pick out some clothes from Bucky’s room. He made sure to grab sets that Bucky hardly wore, hoping that would dim his best friend’s anger a bit.

With that done he began working around the kitchen, waiting for the genius still sleeping to wake up on his own but after a solid ten minutes without even an eye twitch Steve concluded this called for drastic measures. He grabbed two pans, braces his legs, took a deep breath and pulled back his arms and let them fall forward. He closed his eyes when they made contact, somehow thinking the noise would lessen if he didn’t see it. He opened his eyes again just in time to witness Tony yelping and jumping and tossing himself off the couch only to scramble with the blankets on him.

Now that Steve thought about it, after watching Tony react, what was he thinking? He had only known Tony for less than a day, a couple of hours at most, and yet here he was waking him up in the most juvenile way imaginable, as if they were longtime friends, and he was _grinning_.

He probably traumatized the poor genius.

Tony, after recovering, and apparently remembering where he was and who the man standing in the kitchen was, glared daggers at him. “What the _hell_ , Rogers?”

Steve blinked, hoping for innocence because he really didn’t know how to respond. “Good morning?”

“ _Good_ _morning_? Good – Fuck! _Fuck_. You want to give me a heart attack. I’m too fucking young for one, Rogers,” Tony rubbed his face with one hand while he used the other to cover his frantic heart.

“Language,” Steve deadpanned. “And I told you to call me Steve.”

“I’ll call you Steve when you fucking deserve it,” Tony was taking deep breaths. Maybe Steve had overdone it. Oops.

“I’m making breakfast,” Steve said.

“Great. Great, fucking brilliant. I’ll be going back to sleep then.” Tony crawled back on the couch.

“You want some?”

The genius pressed his face on the pillow, “Go away,” was his muffled reply.

“No can do. If you’re not going to have breakfast at least get yourself cleaned up. You need to do one or the other.”

He heard a grumble, “I need a shower is what I need.”

“You can use the shower if you want. I have clothes that you can borrow.”

“I don’t think I can fit in yours.”

“They’re not mine. They belong to my friend and they should fit you, or at least be large on you. Better than mine.”

Tony turned his head to look at him, “Your friend?”

“My roommate. He’s away right now but he’ll be back tomorrow. His name is Bucky.”

Something flashed in the genius’ eyes, something that Steve couldn’t exactly pin point but looked to be close to recognition, or was that longing? Since Tony seemed to have heard of Steve perhaps he heard of Bucky, too?

“Bucky, huh? Won’t Bucky mind me borrowing his clothes without him knowing?”

Steve shrugged, “They’re clothes he hardly uses. I don’t think he’ll miss them.”

The familiar prideful grimace appeared on Tony’s face, but reluctantly he nodded, grabbed the clothes Steve offered and made off towards the direction of the shower. Steve briefly wondered what kind of trouble he got himself in with Bucky by letting a stranger borrow his clothes. With luck maybe Bucky would be in an understanding mood tomorrow.

Back to breakfast in mind Steve rationed it so Tony would get the bigger portion. He was already skinny and no amount of food would even put a pound on him. Tony, on the other hand, looked to have the makings of someone with a healthy weight and Steve wasn’t going to prevent it if he had a say in it, and if he had plenty of stock. Which reminded him, they were in need of making a quick grocery stop. He’ll have to wait for Bucky, though, to put together their earnings and see what was necessary and what wasn’t.

With that thought Steve took a deep breath that caused his chest to constrict with that familiar irritation he couldn’t scratch away. He quickly faced away from the food and walked out the kitchen in order to have his coughing fit without throwing projectiles at things. He groaned when the coughing slowed down and stood still in case it came back full force. He really hoped he wasn’t about to get bed ridden, especially when he had a guest at the moment. What would Tony say if he saw him sick as a dog? If Steve couldn’t take care of himself because of his health how was he going to help Tony get back on his feet?

Dizzy from the coughing that seemed to have calmed down Steve sat on the couch and rested his head against his knees.

“You’re not going to faint, are you?”

Tony appeared from the shower, standing in the center of the room with his hair dripping down to his eyes and the borrowed clothes large on his frame as predicted. Steve felt as if he swallowed his tongue at the sight of him. Now without the grime smearing his young face Steve could see the tan skin that glowed against the light, the sharpness of his cheekbones and chin and the cute nose that perfectly complimented him. Tony was handsome, there was no denying it, and now refreshed from the shower with all his previous homeless points washed away, well, Steve couldn’t really explain it.

He really shouldn’t be admiring a man, especially one who had just become of age, but Steve was weak, both physically and mentally. He allowed himself this just once, briefly, then forced the thought away. Admiring another man, admiring a homeless one to boot, made him feel as if he was exerting him.

God, why was Tony attractive? Couldn’t he have been an ugly fellow edging his way to decent? That Steve could have handled better.

“Rogers? Hey, Steve, if you keep staring at me like that something is going to happen here in this living room and I’ll need another shower and set of clothes to borrow afterwards,” Tony teased.

Steve shut his mouth that apparently had opened sometime during his admiring of Tony. How was the brunette so confident that he said these things just like that?

“I wasn’t –”

“If you’re going to try and deny it I’d suggest not to have your face bright red from being caught staring. Not that I blame you. I am a fine specimen.”

Steve glared, “You’re going to hurt someone if that ego of yours gets any bigger.”

Tony grinned, his eyes bright with mischief, “So there is some fight in you. I’ll make a sarcastic asshole out of you yet! You’ll be like another me.”

“One Tony for this world is good enough.”

“One Tony is not enough. Everyone deserves their own Tony.”

Steve snorted, “And here I thought I was special.”

“Honey, you get the original. Of course you’re special,” Tony winked and then walked over to the couch to sit next to the blond. “But really, are you alright? You looked a bit pale when I came in.”

Steve shrugged, “The benefits of being sick. Along with a small body I also get a daily dose of coughs and asthma and basically anything that could go wrong with a human body. Maybe one day I’ll get the coma aspect of it.” He tried for nonchalant, seeing as a lot of folks would make it a habit of always pointing out his flaws, always comment and treat him differently. He had grown so used to it that he started saying them himself. If he acknowledged them before the others then they wouldn’t have anything to use against him.

Usually when he said these things his company would nod and ignore it, adding nothing to it and not denying anything about it. He had expected Tony to do the same, but what he didn’t expect was the frown that appeared on his face and the seething glare that came afterwards.

Nor did he expect for Tony to place a warm hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t say that,” Tony growled, “don’t ever say that. Who even says that? _Why_ would you say that?” He combed a hand through his wet hair. “Fuck, Rogers. Don’t act like you don’t care if something happened to you.”

“It’s the truth –”

Tony quickly covered his mouth with his hand, “No, no, no, where the hell is this coming from? No, don’t ever say that. Don’t even think it. I don’t know what others said to you to think this but fuck them. Don’t listen to them, don’t acknowledge them, pretend they don’t exist and they never happened.” Tony rubbed his eye in annoyance. “Fuck, and this coming from me out of all people. See what you’re doing to me? You’re turning me into one of those inspirational assholes from those damn clichés sports movies.”

Steve blinked at the oddity of the situation. “I’m sorry?” He mumbled through the hand that was still covering his mouth.

“Damn right you better be. I don’t do supporting, Rogers.” Something in his dark, brown eyes suggested that was the honest truth coming out of him, and the thought that Steve had somehow caused Tony to become that role (and hopefully was the first one to) made him feel important, made him feel like he had someone else that cared about him.  

“It’s Steve, and for someone who doesn’t do support you’re doing just fine on that,” Steve pulled the hand away from his mouth and smiled at the brunette, his chest fluttering from the fact that someone, besides Bucky, had supported him by brutally making him hear the reality of his depressing talk. “Thank you, Tony.”

Tony eyed him warily, “Don’t smile like that. Those eyes and that smile are illegal and should not be put together on that face of yours.”

Steve’s smile widened, “Someone thought it a good idea to put them together on me. I can’t do anything about it.”

“I don’t like this, Rogers –“

“Steve.”

“ – _Steve_ , you’re becoming aware now. You’re going to have people kneeling down at your every move with those eyes. I’m a bad influence on you.”

“If anything the only person who will kneel at my every move is you. Not even Bucky is affected.”

“He’s probably grown immune. It’s a requirement, living with you. I’m doomed.”

Tony might not have realized it – or maybe he had and did it on purpose – but what he had just said implied that Tony was going to stay right here in his and Bucky’s apartment. On top of that he basically stated that he wasn’t immune to Steve’s eyes, which meant that Tony had _some_ interest.

Perhaps Tony’s flirting actually held truth in it?

Steve already felt his ears burn from the idea.

He shouldn’t feel attraction to a man and he shouldn’t feel happiness from another man finding _him_ attractive. But in this case at least he wasn’t alone. Tony made it seem normal to like the same gender. He acted as if there was nothing wrong with it.

Besides, this was the first time someone found his skinny, asthmatic and weak self attractive. Why wouldn’t Steve feel happy from that?

“Is something burning?” Tony said.

Steve squeaked and jumped to his feet in full panic and raced to the kitchen to try and salvage the breakfast he had forgotten he was making. Tony filled the apartment with his laugh while watching Steve move frantically around.

Steve will get him back somehow.

~~

 

“Steve where is this radio of yours and where did the tools go?”

Steve stopped what he was doing to point at the radio in question and went to grab the tools from where he put them away. When he came back to the radio he found Tony sitting in front of it and gaping at it.

“Something wrong?” Steve shifted his weight and walked to stand next to him.

“ _This_ is a radio?” Tony was still staring as if his eyes wouldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“Yes? Have you never seen one before?” Steve’s heart sank at the thought. How bad of a situation could it be if Tony had never seen a radio before?

“No – I – Yes, no, I just – this behemoth of a thing is a radio?”

Now that got Steve a bit insecure about their radio. Were they not supposed to be that big? This radio was a hand-me-down from a friend of theirs and everyone around them had the same kind. “If you can’t do anything about it you don’t have to try.”

“Whoa, who said anything about I can’t? I’m just shocked that they’re this big. I don’t remember them this big,” Tony had his hands hovering near the frames of the machine, wanting to touch but at the same time not.

“How do you remember them then?” Steve questioned, curious about the radios Tony remembered. “Were they smaller?”

“Something like that. Some were small and some were really thin. Some were very, very small. Can be carried in your pocket if you wanted.”

“In your pockets? How do you mean in your pockets? I don’t think it’s possible for a radio to be that small at all.” What kind of radios did Tony see?

Tony seemed about ready to say something about the subject but held his tongue. “No, you’re probably right. I must’ve hit my head or something to imagine those radios.”

Steve knelt down before Tony even finished that sentence. He grabbed Tony’s face and forced him to look at him, his eyes scanning for any injuries. “Are you injured?”

Tony stilled in his hands, eyes wide and lips parted. His actions must have surprised him. Steve hadn’t meant that to happen and usually he’d never grab someone’s face out of nowhere but he reacted out of instinct and now that left him with a handful of handsome face.

Not knowing what to say or do to dispel the awkward atmosphere he had created Steve kept his hands up to level the face and pretended to continue looking over for any injuries. If he kept gazing into the brown eyes full of emotions that weren’t what he originally saw when he first met the young man, nobody needed to know that but Steve. Tony looked so alive now, compared to where they started. A good night inside shelter and some food and a shower did wonders to a person.

“Steve,” Tony finally said, “I’m not injured and I’m all for getting into my personal space but if you aren’t going to do something right now I suggest you let me go before I need another shower. A _cold_ one.”

Steve ignored the last part, choosing to continue as if nothing happened (which it didn’t and he had to stop himself from feeling disappointed), “Are you sure you’re not injured?”

Tony shook his head in order to dislodge Steve’s small hands, “Yes, Mother Hen. I’m sure I’m not injured. Did you get the tools? The faster I start on this giant the faster I can get it working and we can hear romantic sitcoms and bitch about why the main chick should ditch the love triangle and just go solo.”

There was a joke in there that he didn’t understand but Steve still smiled. If anything at least he found Tony’s form of talking entertaining.  “Don’t let me keep you waiting then. The tools are right here and you can get started on it whenever you want. I actually have to get going to work. Will you be alright on your own?”

“On my own? You’re going to leave me here on my own? Sure you don’t have much to take but I can run with your heater now. That’s gotta be worth something. Are you sure you should leave me alone here?” There was evident mirth in the brunettes tone. Even though he was saying it and probably was giving away his plan of theft Steve somehow believed that Tony wasn’t going to run off with anything of theirs.

Steve shrugged, “You can try but a heater will only get you so far,” then the thought he had before falling asleep resurfaced, “I’ve been meaning to ask. Do you have your identification on you?”

Whatever good mood was on Tony’s face vanished at that question. He looked away and stared at the radio's surface. From the little reflection Steve was able to see he caught sight of the same defeat Tony carried when he first saw him.

“I don’t have anything on me. Nothing but the clothes you saw me in.” Tony said. He looked back up with his face blank of emotions. “I told you my name is Tony Rhodes. What more do you need to know?”

Steve held his hands up, meaning nothing from the question or accusing him of anything. “I don’t need anything. I just wanted to know so we could start looking into things. I mean, with your genius you could get any job that requires knowledge in repairing. You can even look into building things. You can get a decent job.” He rubbed his neck, “Sorry, I’m trying to think of ways to help you. I didn’t mean to imply anything, Tony.”

Tony accepted that response, “Might be on the hard side if we’re trying to get me a job. I’ve got no ID and no paperwork. I’m an American citizen, though. Don’t go throwing me away to the army thinking I’m a spy or something.”

The blond ducked his head and blushed. Had Tony somehow listened in to his thoughts last night? “I didn’t think you were a spy.”

“Liar. That was probably your first thought. Either that or you were thinking I was some sort of mob boss. I wouldn’t blame you. I’d probably think the same thing if I found me stuck in an alley with nothing but the clothes on my back,” Tony deadpanned, his eyes somehow rolling without actually moving.

Steve crossed his arms, “If you were you kind of missed your chance. Last night was the perfect time for you to strike while I was sleeping.”

“Who says I still can’t? I’m waiting for the perfect opportunity to rob you blind. I’ll make off with your socks and covers and even steal your ham. No one will stop me.”

His lips curled upward. “How dastardly of you. I’ll have to put a stop to you somehow.”

Tony grinned, whatever tension they had going melted away with that. “Good luck with that. I’ll be the greatest villain out there. No one’s socks will be safe from me.”

Steve shook his head with his own grin in place, “You monster.”

He checked the time and quickly began packing to leave and head for work. He placed the tool box next to Tony, who unconsciously grabbed it while he pried the frame of the radio open to have a look inside, whistling when he saw the puzzle laid before him.

Steve walked up to him when he finished gathering his things and gave the place a quick look to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything. “I’m heading out. I should be back by two and we can figure out what to do about getting you started back on your feet.”

Without looking at him, still focused on the wiring inside the machine, Tony asked, “You think I’ll somehow get a job without ID or paperwork? No one will want to hire a nobody.”

“If not you can always try to set up a small business on your own. I mean, you fixed up our heater and if you get the radio working it’s a guarantee to get you recognition. I can ask around here if anyone needs fixing,” Steve suggested.

The genius thought it over, “If you ask around make sure to tell them I can fix almost anything, anything from kitchen appliances to radios to even plumbing. The plumbing will be really messy. I’ll need to get myself a rain coat for that.”  

“Really? You can fix all that?” Steve’s eyebrows shot up.

“Really, really.”

“I will remember to tell them that. Anything else?”

“I do private sessions. I’m extremely attractive and look good in a speedo and I won’t mind fixing things while they look. I charge by the hour, though,” A flirtatious smirk and a mischievous twinkle in his eye and Steve knew he was blushing instantaneously from the sight.

“I’ll make sure not to mention that.”

“Keeping me all to yourself there, Stevie? It could earn us extra cash, you know,” Tony wiggled his eyebrows.

“I think that’s the wrong kind of business to be in during these times.”

“House wives and army boys need to enjoy themselves, don’t they?”

Steve frowned, “Tony – ”

“Kidding, Steve. I’m kidding,” he looked back to the radio and waved a hand dismissively, “or maybe I’m not. Who knows.”

“I can’t tell if you’re being serious or not.”

“Good. Neither can I. We can not figure out if I’m serious or not together then. Be a dear and hand me that wrench will you.”

Steve passed it over, the oddity of the conversation they just had and the image they created together baffling him. This was certainly a strange way to start a morning with someone who was technically still a stranger. He watched as Tony pushed the wrench inside the radio and a question occurred to him.

“Why are you even using a wrench for? I didn’t think they had knobs for you to twist,” Steve said as he leaned over to take a look inside.

“It doesn’t. I just asked for the wrench so you could pass it to me and we create this establishment that I’m the hardworking husband and you’re the dutiful wife that’s about to bring home the bacon. I’m all for equality. How about it? If you want I’ll wear the apron for you.”

Steve didn’t know if he should feel insulted, embarrassed or oddly optimistic from knowing Tony was considering forming a strange domestic setting. From the moment he first spoke with the sarcastic genius he had been sending Steve on a trip of emotions.

“You are a strange one, Tony,” Steve said affectionately.

“Thank you,” Tony said, grinning and closing his eyes to make himself look adorable, “I pride myself on that.

“Might want to control that pride of yours.”

“Don’t you have a job to get to? Be gone with you and remember to ask around if anyone needs something fixed. I work any day of the week except if it’s before noon because I’m not insane and I refuse to wake up any earlier. Any private sessions will be extra. I don’t do lap dances.”

“Tony!” Steve could feel his neck rise with a blush. He gave up and went for the door, “Don’t let strangers inside. I’ll be back later.”

The genius gave him a toothy grin. “See you, Honey. I’ll be here waiting for you.”

On his way to work through the cold winds and early morning rays that he barely felt all that raced through Steve’s mind was the mystery that was Tony and what he had gotten himself into. Tony’s confidence and his doing of talking about things considered taboo to many so freely without any thought of consequences was going to be the death of him. Steve was envious of him. What he would do to have that confidence and freewill.

With that eventful and boosting morning Steve went to work with a smile and a happy mood. Nothing was going to damper his day. Not when he knew the reason for his cheerful attitude was going to be waiting back home when he returned.

At least, he hoped so.


	2. James 'Bucky' Barnes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ages and timelines are going to be different. Steve is going to be a bit older when Project Rebirth happens and so is Bucky. Tony also has an age difference that will be explained later so hold your horses and I hope you enjoy! All mistakes you spy are mine, sorry.

The next morning Steve hadn’t required batting two pans together in order to wake Tony up. The genius did so naturally by the smell of food filling up the apartment. He groggily came in with a blanket wrapped around his waist and another draped over his shoulders. The moment he made contact with the chair his head slammed on the table and he was dozing off again. Steve had half a mind to throw water on him. It was tempting just to see the reaction but held himself back. He had a feeling the opportunity to do so would rise up again in the future. He will just have to bid his time until then.

He finished cooking and went to grab two plates, set them aside and placed them on the table. Even with food right in front of him Tony didn’t budge. Steve sat across from him, spooning the food into his mouth while staring at the still slumbering figure. Noting the facial features and adding in the age Steve still couldn’t believe Tony was eighteen. He looked nothing like an eighteen year old. Sure he was taller than Steve was, but most folk were. Tony looked sixteen and no matter how many times Steve studied that face he continued to look sixteen. He could probably pass for younger, fifteen at most. Fourteen was pushing it.

It was strange really. There was more to Tony, obviously there was. Steve wasn’t going to figure out everything about him in one day and he wasn’t going to push for it. If Tony wanted to reveal his entire life then Steve will sit down and listen intently. If he didn’t then Steve wasn’t going to pry. Sure he had dying curiosity to know the kid better but helping him came first.

That and also trying to stop the genius from continuously flirting with him.

Sure Steve found him attractive but with the questionable youthful look and the age that didn’t match it, well, Steve wouldn’t be able to live with himself if something were to happen and Tony wasn’t actually of age. Just the thought made his stomach churn. His breakfast came up but he pushed it back down with a drink.

He really needed to put a stop to it.

Tony was still sleeping and his food was turning cold. He took it as a sign to act and get the genius going for the day. Now to decide how to do it. He could just walk over and shake the brunette awake but where was the fun in that?

He searched around for anything nearby he could use as ammunition but found nothing. Deflated he stood and walked over to him, shook him gently and received nothing for his effort. He shook harder and earned himself a groan. A bit more and he got a “’o aw’ay.”

“Tony you really need to think of better things to say to me. Go away has lost its meaning.”

“Leave m’ alone.”

“That has lost its meaning, too. Try again.”

When the genius didn’t reply Steve went for the blankets wrapped around him, yanking when they resisted. It was a bit of work but he managed to dislodge the blanket around his shoulders and he went for the one on his hips. Focused on grabbing the edges without accidentally grabbing Tony’s shirt he never noticed Tony moving his arms to reveal a pillow he was holding, hiding them with his body and with the blanket draped across his shoulders. Quick as a hiccup Tony brought up the pillow and smacked Steve right on his face. Shell-shocked, Steve gawked with his eyes wide open and fingers pinched together holding the blanket.

“Is that better?” Tony said, his face till on the table.

Like a soldier who had just been given a reason to act Steve rushed away to his room and grabbed his own pillows. He came galloping back, aimed and threw a pillow right at Tony’s head. His running gave the pillow the extra whump to make Tony’s head bounce and he yelped to his feet. Somehow the plate still filled with food remained untouched from the flying, soft projectile.

Steve still had a pillow left and he raised it up, prepared to act should Tony decide to retaliate. Tony saw this, frowned and mimicked the action. The fight had begun.

Tony acted first, rushing forward to strike Steve on his side. Steve saw this, stood his ground to take the hit and returned the force by smacking Tony’s face. That triggered the aimless throws between them. There was no skill and no talent. It was just them both blindly striking where they saw pillow-less space. At one point Tony was striking so fast that Steve had to retreat for a second in order to get his wind back. He ran behind the couch, Tony hot on his heels.

They were laughing and having fun. Steve was breathing heavily but he didn’t notice. For a brief moment his health was far away from his mind and for a split second he felt he was on top of the world with a healthy body and he understood exactly how others who never had a defect in their life lived everyday.

There was a strike to his back and he bent down from the force. Without looking he threw his arms sideways and twisted his body to strike back behind him, landing a bullseye and causing Tony to take a step back. They were in front of the couch and the third blanket that didn’t travel with the brunette was half sprawled on the cushion and half sprawled on the floor. It tangled around Tony’s feet, tying them together and causing him to trip back. He landed on the floor with an undignified squeak, back first. His pillow was resting on his chest and he was looking up at the ceiling in mild shock from just having his life flash before his eyes.

Steve took the opportune moment and jumped, putting his pillow softly on Tony’s face. Enough to show his purpose but not too much that he would cause harm. Tony was laughing through the fabric. His chest bouncing from the intakes of breath and Steve joined him.

“Surrender?” Steve managed.

“Never,” Tony said. He pushed the pillow over his chest and covered Steve’s face with it. Steve tried moving away but moving too far would cause him to lose his leverage over the fallen man. “Do _you_ surrender?”

“I will never give in,” Steve replied, muffled now.

“Then it seems we found ourselves in a pickle. I won’t give in and you won’t give in. A treaty must be made. I demand retribution.”

“That’s not how a tre -”

“Shhh,” Tony pressed a hand on the pillow where Steve’s face was concluded to be in a gesture to mimic someone shushing another person with a finger to their lips, “don’t say anything. Just say okay.”

Steve couldn’t see his face but he pictured Tony was grinning behind the pillow. “As fascinating as it is to stare at the world from behind a pillow I have to breathe properly eventually.”

The cushion was removed from his face in an instant and Steve loosened his hold on his own. Seeing how the genius retracted his arms as if he touched fire Steve realized he had used poor choice of words and regretted it. During their little game Tony had treated him like any other, not once worrying about his health, as if it never crossed his mind. When Steve removed the pillow from his face he found his theory true in which Tony was regarding him like something easily breakable.

The genius looked stricken and worried. His brown eyes scanned Steve’s face and chest and even lifted his head to check for any injuries on his legs. “You alright? How is your breathing? Quick, how many fingers am I holding up?”

Tony had two fingers up right in Steve’s face, “What? Tony, come on -”

“Answer the fingers question, Steve.”

“Two, you have two fingers so close to my face they’re practically on my nose. Kindly take them off? Who knows what insides of machines you’ve touched with them.”

Tony studied his fingers as if he hadn't notice they were hovering inches away from Steve. He pulled a face that looked to say 'Oh, will you look at that!' before grinning. “Okay so nothing’s wrong with you and I’ll have you know that these fingers are as clean as grease ridden fingers can be. If they’ve been inside any machine worth saying that was months ago, if you know what I mean.”

Steve had to think it through before he understood what the genius meant and that was only because Tony was wiggling his eyebrows suggestively without stopping. He scrunched up his face in disgust. “Tony! I did not and do not want to know that. It’s bad enough with Bucky.”

“You guys swap night stories? Details! Give me details. I want to know all your dirty little secrets.”

“I don’t have any details to share with you, Tony,” Steve said, determined not to encourage this subject because he really did not want to talk about it. All the things his best friend would go on and on about involving woman just wasn’t Steve’s fancy. And he wasn’t about to share it with someone who he was barely getting to know and might not be actually 18 years old.

“Hold the phone,” Tony’s grin turned shark-like. “Steven Rogers, are you not sharing because you don’t have any night stories to tell? Not a single woman? What about a man? No?”

He felt the all too familiar blush rise on his face, “No! That’s not what I meant. Stop putting words in my mouth, Tony.”

“It’s alright if you haven’t had mind-blowing nights, Steve. I’m not judging. I’m just surprised nobody has taken a swing with you.”

Grabbing whatever dignity Steve could, he huffed and stood up. “It’s not as if I have lines of people stacked up in our front door.”

Tony mocked frowned before smirking, “Hey, none of that self-pity. That’s not allowed here. If anything it’s a good thing you don’t have people lining up your front door. I don’t have to fight anyone.”

The face Steve gave him was near lethal. Pillow still in hand Steve threw it and aimed right at Tony’s face. The genius squawked and trashed around.

“I’ve been hit! Steve, go on without me. Tell my future wife or husband or both that I left the clothing iron on.”

Steve grabbed the plate on the table still filled with food. “The what? No, stop being dramatic. Your food is cold.”

Tony groaned, feigning a man dying on the battlefield.

“Tony get up. I’ll throw water on you if you don’t.”

“I can’t, Steve. I’m dead.”

“You seem fine to me.”

Tony waved a hand, “I’m dead. I’m so dead I beat death at dead.”

“Right then. Only one way to wake up the dead.” Still holding onto the plate Steve walked to the kitchen and grabbed a cup, filling it an inch with water. He walked back, a wicked smile growing on his face with every step closer to the genius.

Tony, curious after what Steve said, had pushed the pillow to see what the blond was doing and when he saw the cup of water he quickly started crawling back, pushing his arms and feet against the floor. “No, no, no Steve. I’m up! I’m alive, it’s a miracle. No need for drastic measures.”

“To-ny,” Steve singed.

“No - no - Steeeve, have mercy,” when Tony noticed Steve wasn’t stopping he quickly got on his feet only to trip and fall back down. He started crawling ungracefully around the couch, Steve right on his tail. “Not fair! Give me a chance to get up on my two feet.” Steve tilted the cup slightly and with his motions caused it to drop water on the back of Tony’s waist. The genius shirt had ridden up in his attempt to run and so the water came in contact with skin right away.

Tony shrieked and jumped on his feet, fanning his back as if the water was fire. “ _Fuck_ that’s cold!”

“Hold on, I don’t think you’re undead yet,” Steve smiled innocently, completely ignoring Tony’s glare.

“You stay back, Heathen. I don’t want you anywhere near me carrying ice cold water.”

“Name calling is mean, Tony.”

“Says the guy who got water on me!”

“Want me to help you warm it up?” Steve said without thinking, catching himself too late and freezing. This was the exact opposite of what he’s supposed to be doing. He was supposed to discourage Tony’s flirting, not motivate it.

Tony, for his part, looked taken back by Steve’s apparently unexpected response. If Steve looked closely he could notice the slight change of skin color on Tony’s cheeks. Was he blushing? Just from that?

So Tony could flirt all he wanted but not Steve? Interesting.

Tony, having recovered it seemed, put on a smirk, but it wasn’t a smirk meant to tease like Tony was usually showing with Steve. The smirk was one twitch away from becoming a simple, hopeful smile. “And here I thought I was going to have to do all the flirting. You know in order to make this relationship work we both have to put our share.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Steve deadpanned.

The handle of the front door moved without either of them noticing and the door itself cracked open silently, bringing inside a tall figure that was able to hear the last part of the conversation. The figure, creating an idea from only that information, stomped inside and slammed the door. Steve and Tony jumped an inch in the air from that. They whipped their heads to see the new person. Steve looked like a deer caught in headlights. Tony reeled back.

Bucky was glaring furiously at Tony.

“What the hell is going on here?”

“Bucky! You’re here early,” Steve said with a hesitant voice.

“Early? Steve, I’m late. I was supposed to arrive an hour ago,” Bucky took a step towards Steve, his eyes never leaving Tony. “Who is this and why is he here?”

“Bucky, this is Tony. Tony, Bucky,” Steve introduced, getting pushed behind Bucky protectively.

“H-hi,” Tony said.

“Why is he here?” Bucky repeated, not budging when Steve tried to nudge his way through to stand between him and Tony. It was impossible. Bucky was like a wall. A very stubborn wall.

“He’s here because he needed a place to stay.”

“Then take him to a shelter,” Bucky barked and added a “Are those my _clothes_?”

“They won’t take him. He managed to get himself kicked out. And those are clothes you hardly use,” Steve tried reasoning.

“Who even manages to - no, never mind. I don’t wanna know. This ain’t a free room. He needs to leave. Now. And get him out of my clothes.”

“ _Bucky_ ,” Steve stressed. “We’re not throwing him out.”

“ _Steve_ ,” Bucky countered.

“Bucky, please.”

Bucky grabbed his arm gently and began to pull him away, taking him to Steve’s room to talk in private. He sent Tony another seething glare and Tony actually looked to deflate from it. Steve felt the urge to sooth it away.

Tony’s defeated face was the last thing he saw before Bucky slammed the door close.

“What the he -”

“Language,” Steve interrupted. “Bucky I know what you’re thinking but I couldn’t just leave him outside. You didn’t see him in the alley. He didn’t have anything on him. Nothing but a shirt and pants and shoes. He could have frozen out there.”

“And you thought it fine to bring in a complete stranger? Steve he could be a psycho for all we know.”

“He’s not,” Steve countered with confidence. “He’s a genius, Bucks. He fixed our heater and our radio. They’re working better then ever before, almost new.”

“That doesn’t matter, he could have - wait, he did?” Bucky blinked.

Steve gained a growing smile, “He did. He can fix a lot of things. He can probably build stuff, too but we don’t have anything for him to use. He’s offering to fix even more stuff if we allow him to stay. He’s not staying for free, Bucky. I think he’s too prideful for that. He doesn’t want handouts.”

“How long has he been here? I was gone for three days, Steve.”

“I found him two days ago. He’s stayed for two nights so far,” Steve recalled.

“It took him two days to fix a heater and radio?” Bucky frowned, trying to piece together the times since he left and when Steve found the guy standing in their living room.

“Actually it only took him about ten minutes for each. He fixed them up in no time with only your tools.”

“He what?”

Steve nodded, “He did.”

“How old is he?”

“He’s eighteen, according to him.”

“Eighteen? He looks sixteen!”

“That’s what I said. All the more reason we can’t throw him out.”

“Steve.”

“I promised him I would help, Bucky. If you’re worried he’s going to steal things, don’t. We don’t have anything worth stealing. He’s been here alone already and hasn’t taken off. I think he wants shelter more than the bit of money he could get. He’s even asked me to check around for people who need their stuff fixed.”

Bucky sighed and covered his face with his hand, “If he’s such a genius then why isn’t he working in those big companies? Heck the army has better benefits than being homeless.”

Steve avoided eye contact. Hopefully Bucky was more lenient about Tony not having any papers or ID. “He doesn’t actually have identification on him, or papers.”

“He doesn’t have identification or papers,” Bucky repeated in disbelief. “How do you know his name is even Tony?”

“Tony Rhodes is his name.”

“Steve you can’t trust what he says.”

“I trust _him_ ,” Steve stood firm. “Tony Rhodes may not be his name and there may be more to him that he isn’t saying, but I trust _him_ , Bucky.”

Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose, “I swear you search for the good in everyone. How can you trust someone you’ve barely met two days ago?”

“I don’t know but something inside me is saying I can trust him. I want to help.”

“Steve.”

“I trusted you, Bucky,” Steve said, recalling when he first met his best friend and trusting him almost instantly. “I barely met you but already I knew I could trust you. I’m getting the same feeling here. After spending two days with Tony I know he doesn’t  mean harm. He just needs help.”

Bucky growled. There was no getting to Steve. Not when he set his mind on something. If he wanted Tony to stay he was going to fight tooth and nail for him to stay but Bucky didn’t have to like it. “If he’s staying then I’m setting rules. You are not staying with him alone from now on.”

“What?”

“I heard what he said, Steve. He wants to start a relationship with you but he doesn’t look like someone who would take it seriously. I’m not going to let him have his fun with you,” Bucky glared towards the door, someone hoping it would reach the person they were talking about.

“Bucky!” Steve said mortified. “It’s not like that.”

“Really? So I didn’t see him flirting and see you flirting back? I saw that look on your face. You like the guy. And I don’t mean the friendly way.”

Steve’s flush raised up his neck. “It’s just harmless banter, that’s all. Nothing will come out of it.”

“Uh-huh,” Bucky looked unimpressed, raising an eyebrow. “Steve… you don’t flirt.”

“I could!” The blond huffed defensively. “I just… don’t think flirting is that important.”

“Right, and you’re saying nothing will come out of it? I said the same thing with that blond gal I met at the bar and I ended up dating her for three months. Nothing sure came out of that.”

“Well she was trying. Tony is just playing, like you said.”

“Tony is trying harder than her. He really wants to get into your breeches.”

“He’s sixteen!”

“You said he’s eighteen. He just looks sixteen. If he’s eighteen then he’s legal. That’s not going to help stop you, Steve, and if he’s going to stay with us I get the feeling resisting is going to be hard.”

Steve rolled his eyes, “Nothing is going to happen.”

“Sure, sure. If you get to bump uglies with the guy in the living room then I’m bringing gals back home with me and you can’t say anything about it.”

“Bucky!” Steve cried, face turning impossibly red.

“You better lock the door. If I walk into you both doing that I’m kicking one of you out,” Bucky said as he walked back into the living room. He gave Tony a look over, who was still standing exactly where they left him. He scanned every inch of the genius.

Tony straightened up when he heard the door open again and remained still when Bucky studied him. His eyes jumped back and forth between Steve and Bucky.

Bucky’s eyes were piercing and for an entire minute Tony had to endure it until finally he said, “I don’t like you but Steve promised he’d help and when he promises something nothing I say will stop him.”

Tony looked confused, “He didn’t promise.”

“Anything that comes out of Steve’s mouth is usually a promise,” Bucky sighed and held out a hand, “James Barnes is the name. Call me Bucky if you’re staying.”

Tony quickly accepted it, “Tony. Rhodes. Tony Rhodes, that’s my name. Uh, call me Tony.”

Bucky quirked an eyebrow, “Well, Tony since you’re going to be staying a while let’s get this straight. If I walk into you and Steve half-naked and in a compromising position I won’t hesitate to throw both your asses out exactly the way I find you.”

Steve, for his part, blushed all over again and shouted a “Bucky!” while Tony, to his surprise, actually had his entire face blow up in the red color and he looked so… innocent and harmless from it.

“Wow,” Bucky apparently noticed the helpless look as well, “I take it back, Steve.You won’t be able to refuse at all. Just remember to be careful. Keep it in this apartment, you understand?”

Steve covered his face with both his hands and Tony, completely embarrassed grabbed the blanket still on the couch and crawled underneath it.

“Bucky, enough,” Steve whined.

Bucky studied the two as they tried to hide, Tony childishly hiding under something and Steve no better trying to use his hands, and in an unexpected turn of events and character he began laughing out of nowhere and continued laughing long after Steve and Tony managed to shake away the embarrassment. They both shared a disbelieving look, insulted that Bucky would find their discomfort hilarious, but then slowly but surely they began grinning and laughing along with him. It was Tony first who just couldn’t resist because Bucky had ended up having to lean against the wall for support and clutched his stomach. Steve followed right after from seeing both Bucky and Tony laughing that hard and it was dangerously contagious. He ignored his erratic breathing and felt he was on top of the world all over again. 

“This is the last thing I expected to see when I came back, Steve,” the tall brunette said between breaths. “Of all the things you would find. I imagined you would bring a stray cat or even a dog but no you got and get yourself this guy.”

“I’m right here,” the genius grumbled playfully.

“I think I lucked out, Bucks. A stray cat or dog wouldn’t have fixed our heater and radio,” Steve cheekily said, “and we don’t have to clean up after him.”

“I see what this is. You’re both ganging up on me. Just for that I’m going to create the biggest mess I can,” Tony pouted.

“Please do. Give me a reason to kick you out,” Bucky smirked.

“You are a mean person. Pure evil,” the genius waggled a finger sternly.

“You’re wearing my clothes. I have the right to be as mean as I want.”

“That explains why these clothes are so tacky and itchy. How do you survive in them?” Steve and Bucky watched the genius scratch his chest in a ridiculous and exaggerated manner.

“That’s it, I’m kicking him out.”

“You’re not kicking Tony out, Bucky,”

~~

 

"Steve." 

Silence

"Stevie." 

More silence. 

“Steeeeeeve.”

“What is it now, Tony?”

“People are idiots, Steve.”

Steve had his back turn and did everything he could to completely ignore the genius who was laying on the couch in a manner that showed he was dead to the world. Two weeks later and he was still as dramatic as the first day he met him.

“What’s the kid complaining about now?” Bucky entered the area.

“I’m not a kid. I’m eighteen!”

“Folks are idiots, apparently,” Steve repeated, not looking at them.

“This again? Aren’t we folk? You’re not trying to tell us something, are you, Kid?” Bucky said with a tone that suggested there’d be trouble if he gave the wrong answer.

“I’m not a kid!”

“You look sixteen and act twelve. You’re a kid.”

“And you’re old but you don’t hear me call you that everyday.”

“Because if you did I’d take you down before you could say it.”

“Steeeeve, Bucky is picking on me.”

“Boys, behave,” Steve deadpanned.

Three weeks later with the days filled with trying to figure out how to work around everything, with Tony making himself an almost permanent resident on the couch and Steve and Bucky juggling their work while also splitting their search for folk needing a fix and either bringing said items back to Tony or guiding Tony to the customer’s resident, and Tony being a complete mess when he was fixing things, and the three of them had somehow created a routine together.

Three weeks and it felt as if they had lived together for years. What with Bucky and Tony’s constant banter and Tony’s continuous flirting with Steve, who also returned it with his own brand of flirting and now felt like second nature, and it was a wonder Tony still didn’t have a bed in the place. Sure there wasn’t any room but it was the thought that counted. They could go mattress shopping, not actually buy anything, but still have the meaning behind it all the more real.

Basically Steve didn’t see Tony leaving any time soon and Bucky had finally stopped threatening to kick Tony out.

“The front door is right there, Kid.”

Well, sort of had.

“You’ve said that so many times I’m starting to think you’re just playing around now and you actually like me,” Tony said, swinging his arm that was hanging on the side of the couch lazily.

“You wish,” Steve heard Bucky snort from somewhere behind him. “I still don’t know why we keep you around.”

“Because I fix your stuff for free and I help with bringing in the money. Look, I managed to get six whole dollars.”

This was true. Steve, from his spot near the kitchen, looked at those dollars that were actually accumulated coins they needed to exchange sitting in a jar on top of the counter. Tony had managed to find himself a little bit of business, thanks to Steve and Bucky. It seemed plenty of people manage to end up breaking their radio and with an entire neighborhood full of them it was almost a gold mine. Almost.

Now if only Tony would sound grateful for it.

“You make it sound as if six dollars is nothing,” Steve said confused.

“It’s…” whatever Tony was going to say was left to be guessed because the genius stopped himself from finishing. “I wish there was more,” he said instead.

“It’s not bad considering you’re working by the item, not hour,” Steve tried soothing.

“I fixed fourteen radios! I should have at least twenty bucks from it.”

Twenty? Why would Tony believe he would earn twenty from fixing fourteen radios? For a genius Tony sure didn’t know how the currency worked. It made Steve wonder what Tony did before hand in order to think a lot of money was given freely.

“Huh?” Bucky said distractedly at the genius’s wordings.

“ _Bucks_ , not Bucky. Bucks. There’s a difference.”

Bucky, the wisecracker that he was, decided to continue poking at Tony, “What?”

“I said bucks!”

“I heard you! What do you want?”

“That’s it,” in a quick movement Tony grabbed the pillow he was laying on and flinged it to Bucky, managing a hit. “Ten points.”

“You’re dead, Kid.”

Steve didn’t bother turning around to see them from his seat in the kitchen but he heard the rustle of someone getting off the couch and footsteps from two sources stomping around the room. He figured Bucky was chasing Tony and Tony was running for his life if the cry of “Steeeeeeeve, help! Steve he’s going to kill me. Steve!” had given anything away.

A thump and a squawk and a “Death by old man is not how I wanted to go! Steve, my knight in shining armor, your damsel in distress needs you!”

“Who are you calling old!”

Steve cradled his cup with hot tea in it and took a gentle sip, “You’re doing fine, Tony.”

“I’m too young and beautiful to die.”

“Keep telling yourself that, Kid.”

“You’re just jealous, Old Man. You wish you had this face.”

“Please, the last thing I’d want is to look like a child. How would I get the gals?”

“Hey, I get plenty of action with this face. You secretly want to jump me for all I know.”

That kind of talk, suggesting a man wanted another man - a boy, actually - to Bucky would have ended with Bucky fighting and knocking them to the ground, especially if they had suggested Bucky wanted them. However, those people usually meant it as an insult. When Tony said it he meant it in good humor. Tony made it sound as if any man being attracted to him was the greatest honor out there.

If it was anyone but Tony, Bucky would have knocked them on the ground by now. Since it was Tony all Bucky did was snort and grab a pillow to cover Tony’s face with it and say “That’s better. You look decent already. You keep this on and you’ll get this action you keep saying you’ve had.”

“I hope you don’t mean by you,” muffled Tony. “Because you’re a catch, don’t get me wrong, but I have eyes for blondes.”

Steve, all too used to it after putting up three weeks with it, rolled his eyes and brought up his cup to take another drink.

“Uh-huh, and you’re as subtle as a skunk in a crowded room,” Bucky’s voice dripped with sarcasm.

“Guilty as charge, now get this pillow off my face.”

“But you look better with it.”

“And trying to hide my beauty will not make you the better looking one in the room by default.”

“I thought you said Steve had the honor of that title.”

“He does, but let’s be honest. I’m a force to be reckon with. Steve’s got nothing on me.”

Steve heard another rustle a grumble and the couch kicked slightly and then Bucky asked, “Are you done?”

“In the name of beauty I will never be done but for now I’ll let you have this win.”

“Flattered,” Bucky deadpanned.

“But seriously, people are idiots,” Tony brought up the beginning all over again.

Both Steve and Bucky groaned, “Not again.” The blond turned around to look at Tony on the ground lying on his back with the same pose as a dying man and Bucky now sitting on the couch.

“What is it now, Tony?” Steve asked.

The genius threw his arms in the air, “People keep breaking their radios.”

Both brunette sitting on the couch and blond sitting in a chair blinked, “Isn’t that a good thing for you?” Steve looked confused.

“Not if it’s a radio I _already_ fixed. The lady down the street, the one with the giant mole on top her lip, managed to break her radio again after I fixed it not once, but _three_ times!”

“Some people are clumsy,” Steve shrugged.

“Maybe the lady is doing it on purpose,” suggested Bucky. “She wants to get her hands on you.”

“God no. Anyone but her. If she breaks her radio again I swear I’m going to make sure that radio will never be fixed. I can’t go to her place again. She has this daughter who won’t leave me alone. She keeps grabbing my arm and giving me water and doesn’t know the meaning of personal space.”

“The daughter wants to have her wicked ways with you. You should be flattered. Either the mother or the daughter keep breaking the radio but they’re doing it to see you,” Bucky said casually, not really meaning it and only doing so to get under Tony’s skin. Which he knew it was.

Steve, after hearing that, felt a feeling of possessiveness bubble in his chest. The thought of this person’s daughter touching Tony as if they had the right, as if they’ve known Tony for years, made him angry. It was unfair, really. This gal clearly found Tony attractive and was trying to show her interest. It was expected. A woman flirting with a man was how things worked in the world. Not a man flirting with a man. And if Tony returned the interest, well, that would be that. No one would bat an eye at the pair and the world would continue turning.

For Steve, though, the world might stop, just a little, or at least lose a crumb of it. Tony, in only three weeks, had somehow planted a seed in Steve’s life and created a spot just for the genius. If Tony was to be taken then his flirting would seize and at this point Steve couldn’t imagine spending every day without the genius’s corny pickup lines.

If this gal was to take the genius away then there was nothing Steve could do. It was how the world worked, but he could enjoy their time together until the fateful day. Make every second count.

“Flattered? Ha! Of course I’m flattered but I’m not interested. This girl can hook my arm and flirt all she wants but I’m just not into her dark curls and naked heels and her poofiness in that skirt. Besides, I’m a taken man.”

Steve’s heart skipped a beat.

“I didn’t know children could get married. The world sure is moving,” Bucky sarcastically said.

“Oh you wished you could marry me. And I’m not a kid!”

Bucky grinned, “No thanks, I’ll let Steve have the honor of marrying you, but I do question his choices. Who knew he was into them so young?”

“Bucky!”

“Steve has good taste,” Tony nodded in approval, face scrunched up in a serious manner. “We’ll have a big wedding with white and gold everywhere and have the priest say the vows in this southern accent so we can have a wedding of different accents from everywhere. You can walk Steve down the aisle.”

Bucky quirked an eyebrow, his face looking as if he was taking the conversation seriously, “Who says Steve will walk down the aisle? And no wedding I’m attending will have gold in it. This wedding will be white and blue. They’re stronger colors.” 

“ _Excuse_ me?” Tony placed a hand over his chest in mock offence, “This isn’t your wedding. You have no right to put your opinions in it.”

“As self-proclaimed best man I do have the right. In fact I have all the right.”

“We’re going with white and gold.”

“White and blue.”

“White and gold.”

“White and blue.”

“It’s going to be white and gold and that’s final. Right, Steve?”

Steve, since the start of the wedding subject, had placed a hand over his face and closed his eyes, not believing this was his life now. Never once had he thought he was going to spend a day watching Bucky banter with someone he picked up from the streets and argue about decorations for a wedding that was apparently _his_ wedding in which he was going to marry another man in it. The thought never even crossed his mind, but now it was happening and he didn’t really know what to make of it.

What were the odds?

“Steve will agree with me, right, Steve? The wedding will be white and blue.”

“You know what? Forget white and gold. Let’s just go with red, white and blue. It’s perfect.”

Bucky and Steve looked at Tony as if he’d lost his head. “That’s a terrible idea. No wedding of mine is going to be red, white and blue,” Steve said, frowning.

“You’re getting married, not celebrating freedom. The point of getting married is getting tide. You lose all your freedom on that day,” Bucky said, yelping when the tea bag Steve threw at him hit his face and left a streak of warm tea running down to his throat. “Watch it, Steve that’s hot!”

“Walk it off,” Tony said.

“By the way,” Steve interrupted before Bucky would retort, “I’m not the one walking down the aisle.”

“I thought we established you’re the dutiful wife who brings home the bacon,” Tony pouted.

“If anything you’re the dutiful wife who stays at home and welcomes Steve back each time with a kiss,” Bucky retorted.

“Hey!”

Steve grinned, agreeing with his best friend about the genius being the dutiful wife but feeling cheated because so far he hadn’t received a single welcome back kiss. Tony was lacking on his duties.

~~

 

Steve let out a groan that quickly became a painful cough that left him struggling to breath. His body hurt to move and his eyes felt far too swollen to even try opening. He coughed again and again, nearly throwing up his lungs. If it would stop the pain he would gladly do it. He could survive without lungs no problem, especially when they haven’t done a lick of good for him since the moment he was born.

He was laying on his bed with four different blankets covering him, his head being the only thing not under the blankets. This was an all too familiar scene, happening all twenty one years of his life. It was nothing new. What _was_ new, however, was the constant bad language happening in the kitchen that caused Steve to laugh even though it was excruciatingly painful.

Steve’s door was opened slightly so he heard all the noise Tony made as he tried cooking a soup to help him feel decent (not better, since Steve was never going to get better). A clank rang through the apartment and another set of colorful vocabulary from Tony followed suit. Whistling happened shortly after and the sound of running water echoed for a few seconds. Another bad word here and there and finally footsteps started and grew louder, heading towards Steve’s room. He opened his eyes when the door opened further.

Tony appeared with a bowl of soup in his hands wearing a common shirt and pants meant for the spring time. His face was scrunched up and his eyes focused on the soup, completely focused as if the simple act of carrying a bowl was the most complicated activity in the world. Tony’s tongue poked out between his lips and Steve kept his eyes on it until Tony reached his side and placed the bowl down carefully. His shoulders sagged and his knees caved in, making him kneel besides Steve with only his head and shoulders visible. Tony placed his arms over the blankets, resting his head on them.

He sighed, “Making a soup should not be that hard.”

Steve didn’t dare chuckle so he settled on a smile.

“Steve why did you get yourself sick. It’s the middle of March, who gets sick in March?”

He hummed, trying to say “I do” without uttering a word. From the way Tony frowned he figured he got it.

“I told you not to get sick. I don’t do taking care of people, Steve. I don’t know how.”

“You’re… doing fine,” Steve managed.

The genius snorted, “You say that now but wait until you see the kitchen.”

Oh, no. Tony messed up his kitchen, he just knew it.

“God, Steve, you look so - so -”

“Am I still gorgeous?” He poked fun.

“Always,” Tony said genuinely, surprising Steve. His heart fluttered and for a brief second he didn’t feel the pain his body was going through. “Here, can you stand up?”

Steve tried, he really did, but his arms wouldn’t cooperate. Tony pushed a hand under him, right behind his back, and helped him up slowly, avoiding hurting him in any way. He managed to rearrange the many number of pillows under Steve while still holding him up and laid him gently back down. He grabbed the bowl and spoon and raised it up for Steve to drink.

The soup was surprisingly delicious, considering Tony cooked it. Steve eagerly ate, not realizing how hungry he was through the pain. After six spoons, however, he couldn’t take anymore unless he wished to risk throwing it back up.

“What a perfect time to run out of that nasty tea of yours,” Tony said, sullenly. “Where the hell is Bucky and why is he taking so long?”

“Language,” the blond coughed.

“Oh don’t even start. You’re in no condition to.”

“Always a time for… good manners.”

Tony ran a cloth across his forehead, looking far beyond worry. The feeling of flutter came back full force in his chest. To think he managed to get Tony looking like that for him, caused Tony to be full of worry and concern. It felt nice to have someone else besides Bucky care for him. It made him feel wanted.

He coughed again, sounding far too wet for Tony’s ears because he quickly placed a hand over his chest. Even through the fabric of four blankets Steve could feel the gentle caress and the warmth those hands made. Steve imagined how they would feel without the blankets and his shirt on. The thought burned color in his cheeks but thankfully it was covered up from his already hot face, courtesy of his sickness.

Tony began massaging his chest, removing the blankets for better access. Steve all but purred at the movement, closing his eyes and nearly dozing off. For a brief moment the massaging stopped and he felt the bed dip from added weight. It was a no brainer that Tony decided to sit on his bed instead of continuing kneeling on the floor. The massaging continued and Steve nearly moaned.

At one point he must have without realizing because Tony stopped and seemed to hesitate to continue. When he opened his eyes he found Tony looking at him with a face that suggested he was fighting against himself.

Steve, not really knowing what to make of the situation or what to say, raised his arm in a painfully slow manner and gently placed it over one of Tony’s hands and rubbed his thumb over it.

Months now with Tony’s constant flirting and not once had the genius acted on it. Steve started believing Bucky’s words that he didn’t really mean anything by it or took relationships seriously. Steve began to purposely fight back against the ever growing feelings he was developing for the sake of keeping Tony’s friendship at least. It was easy once he accepted Tony’s flirting as part of Tony’s personality. It was a habit of his. An unconscious act and response. It was what made Tony, well, Tony.

But it was moments like this that made Steve think that perhaps, just _perhaps_ , Tony actually felt something for him, but something held him back.

Steve was grateful for this. The issue with Tony’s true age still bothered him, but on some days he just couldn’t help wanting. To have it become real. His desires argued with his morals constantly.

But at that moment, while he was sick and nearly coughing up his lungs and laying on something that was near equivalent to his deathbed, he wanted it. Even if Tony was only messing around and didn’t actually mean it, Steve wanted to have a brief experience of what it would feel like.

“T-Tony… I,” ‘ _can I kiss you?_ ’ Steve wanted to ask, but Tony beat him to the punch by leaning his head down and catching Steve on his lips. The foreign feeling of someone else’s lips, _another person’s lips_ , on his own was strange. His first kiss and he never expected it to feel like this. It was odd, but a good odd. Nothing more happened besides their lips slightly touching. Steve honestly expected it to be more. He had heard plenty of stories of earth-shattering kisses and how sparks would always fly when you were with the _one_ , but with Tony it felt… he really didn’t know. It felt… normal, was the best way Steve could explain it. It felt as if it was meant to be, meant to happen. It was not bad nor was it good. It felt as if Tony’s lips were meant to be with Steve’s and to Steve that felt perfect. It was perfect.

Then again he was sick so maybe the earth-shattering and sparks flying was being blocked from his brain by pain. Who knew.

When Tony pulled back he looked downright terrified. Steve panicked, believing he had scared Tony away with his lack of knowledge involving kissing. He could improve! He just needed practice.

But then Tony was backing away as if Steve was a skittish animal and somehow he knew it wasn’t because of the plain kiss, but because of the very act and reason itself.

“Steve, God I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking. I -”

Steve felt his heart slowly start chipping away. Tony didn’t want him. It was an act of pity. Tony somehow read his mind and did what Steve wanted, even if Tony didn’t.

“I-it’s alright, Tony. I know you didn’t mean it. Let’s pretend it never happened,” Steve’s puffy eyes started watering, and it wasn’t from his physical pain.

“What? No, Steve, are you crying? No, please don’t cry. I can’t handle tears. I’m sorry I kissed you against your will. I know you don’t want me but I couldn’t help it and now you’re going to have sexual confusion and I basically just screwed with your mind and Bucky is going to kill me and I’m the worst human ever and -”

Steve, through Tony’s start of a rambling, managed to catch the important information and just like that his heart began healing, but he needed to make sure. With a shaky hand he covered Tony’s mouth to stop him and looked into his brown eyes. “Did you just kiss me because… you want me?”

The genius’s eyes were impossibly wide and looked hurt, “You didn’t know?” He said through the hand.

“I thought you didn’t mean it,” Steve confessed.

Tony grabbed the hand and intertwined his fingers with it, “Steve, I haven’t meant something so much - how did you not know? I flirted with you everyday. Even Bucky knew. He already threatened me and gave me the shovel talk.”

“The shovel talk?”

“I’ll explain what it means later. Right now, though, I want to know if _you_ meant it.”

“I’ve wanted it for a while…”

“But? There’s a but there.”

“You’re sixteen -”

“Oh, _my God_ ,” Tony threw his arms in the air. “I look young, alright. I get it and I admit that I do look younger than I am, but I’m not a kid! I’m an adult, completely legal here and that’s no excuse for you to not want me. I’m a grown man, Steve, trust me, and if that’s what’s holding you back I hate to say this but now I’m going to corner you every chance I get. We’re doing this, Steve, whether you like it or not, and I hope you like it.”

Steve, not believing the situation and his luck, couldn’t help but grin one of the brightest grins he could. He still had tears in his eyes but they were happy tears. Tears that apparently Tony saw because he placed his other free hand on his face and rubbed a thumb under his eye, collecting the tears and caressed his skin when the tears were gone. Not able to handle it Steve started choking with laughter that sounded like very happy sobs.

“We’re doing this, right, Steve?”

A sob and a sniff, “Yes, we’re doing this.”

“Good, because I’m about to kiss you again and I don’t think I can stop myself.”

Steve pulled away, twisted his head slightly to avoid the lips. “Don’t. I’m covered in tears and snot and I’m sick. You’re going to catch it if you kiss me.”

“Steve, I just found out that the guy I’ve been crushing on likes me back and has been for a while. I could have been kissing you for days now, maybe even weeks, _months_ for all I know. I am going to kiss you right now and keep kissing you, snots and all.”

“Tony that’s disgusting.”

“It’s all worth it.”

“You won’t say that when you get sick.”

Tony leaned in, their noses touching, “Trust me, nothing will ruin this moment. Now shut up because here comes the Tony train.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“And yet you still like me.”

True, there was no denying that. Without another word their lips touched. It was exactly like the first one, Steve not daring to take it further because he had no idea what he was doing. Besides, for a moment like this, a soft kiss was really all it needed.

“About damn time! Do you know how long I’ve had to suffer watching you two eye fuck and never do anything about it. You are worse than those stupid romantic films.”

Steve and Tony reluctantly pulled away to Bucky standing by the door with a new box of tea bags.

Bucky looked exasperated, “Congratulations and may you idiots live happily ever after. Remember what will happen if you hurt him, Kid. Now stop trying to defile your bed, Steve and get back to resting.”

Bucky walked away, leaving Steve and Tony blushing with no idea how to respond. Naturally, when stuff like this happened, the only thing to do was laugh it off because it was just downright ridiculous that this was their life.

Tony laughed the loudest, mindful to keep an eye on Steve’s coughing when he pushed himself. When they settled down the genius gave one more peck to the blond before getting off the bed. “What a way to start, huh?”

“You gotta admit it’s us, though.”

“Yeah, yeah it’s us.”

Steve, watching Tony leave the room, realized that finding the genius out in the streets and offering to help him was perhaps the greatest thing he had ever done. He couldn’t imagine his life now without the eccentric genius.

When he heard a loud clank and slam in the kitchen followed by the similar vocabulary from earlier coming from there, this time coming from both Tony and Bucky, it cemented his thought. Finding Tony was the greatest.

Months later, celebrating his twenty two birthday on July 4th, and receiving a very special gift from Tony involving his mouth doing amazing things and sending him over the edge, he agreed without a doubt finding Tony was the greatest thing to ever happen to him.


	3. Technological Marvels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the thing so everyone prepare for the feels (that's if I manage to write it right). 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

Steve stood outside his front door feeling deflated, defeated and tired. The very thought of opening the door and running into Bucky or Tony only to see their disappointed faces discouraged him further from even making the attempt, from even lifting a finger.. The words they would say as they’d attempt to make him feel better would only remind him of the very reason why he was feeling terrible, would remind him of why he couldn’t enlist, of why he couldn’t help.

It had been a long day and all he wanted was to sleep, but his goal was in between obstacles at the moment. He had to face the music, though. He couldn’t wait outside the door forever, no matter how tempting it was.

With a lazy hand he slowly turned the knob and cracked the door, peeking his head inside before fully opening it and taking a step. There were no signs of Bucky or Tony. The coast was clear for now. He could wallow in self-pity alone in his room. He carefully took steps leading to his room, mindful to make it a full run if he saw a single strand of brown hair from his two roommates. He managed to cross halfway without incident. So far so good. His goal was within sight and the thought of just burying himself in blankets and pillows and locking the door only encouraged him to quicken his steps, almost tempting to just run and throw himself on his bed.

When he opened the door to his room he spotted something he hadn’t considered. An occupant sleeping soundly on his bed, snoring away and hogging all the blankets.

Even with his terrible mood and his rejection looming over his head he couldn’t help the longing and content sigh that escaped him at the sight of Tony sleeping without a care in the world on his bed. There was a look on the genius’ face that could only be seen when he was free of stress and, even though it made Tony look younger (younger than sixteen if it was possible), it also made him look so beautiful. It was an image that Steve wanted to draw, detail every single strand of hair and wrinkles and lashes, and if he had paper and pencil on his person at that moment he would have gotten to work on it right away. Disappointingly he didn’t and his bad mood returned full force, making him lazy and unmotivated.

He dragged his feet, took off his shoes and crawled on the edge of his bed, taking the little bit of free space next to Tony. It wasn’t odd sharing a bed together, in fact they’ve been doing it for an entire month now. Three (almost four) if you counted the nights Tony had snuck into his bed on particularly bad days in the past year. It felt natural now. What felt strange to Steve was sleeping without the warmth of a body next to him.

While Steve was grateful for the short moment of forgotten depression he still wondered why Tony was even here. Usually during this time of day the genius was off in the repair shop he worked in fixing up cars with issues far too-complicated for what the shop was qualified for. It was a job Tony was lucky to get without papers, thanks to Bucky, and the shop was extremely lucky - far from lucky - to have Tony in their small, laughable, pay-roll. Granted, Tony earned a larger sum of money compared to fixing broken radios and heaters, but if he had proper identification and papers Tony would’ve probably been rolling in money fixing vehicles straight from the car companies - heck - he’d probably be designing the vehicles and starting his own Rhodes company. _Rhodes Vehicles_ , Steve could picture it all now.

All this brought him back to his original question, why was Tony home instead of the auto shop?

Not having the heart to wake up the genius to ask the question Steve instead decided to grab as much of the blanket as he could without disturbing the snoring figure and cuddled as close as he could. Tony was facing him, giving Steve a perfect view of his young face framed by long hair grown over the year, wrinkled free and with parted lips. Smiling slightly Steve leaned his head forward and gave the genius a soft kiss on his cheek, cuddled his face so his nose was touching the chin with early signs of a stubble and breathed in the warm smell of Tony.

He hadn’t realized how tired he was because the moment he closed his eyes he was out.

When he stirred again the first thing he noticed was the heavy weight of something wrapped over his shoulders and his sight was blocked by a clothed chest.. Next was the steady movement of that chest breathing against his own and his arms wrapped around it. When he moved his head he felt his cheek rub on stubble that gave him a soft burning. He rubbed again affectionately, expanding the burn and feeling content with the sensation.

“If you keep doing that you’ll end up rubbing my face clean off,” Tony said right next to his ear.

Eyes closed Steve rubbed again in one long motion, smiling when he felt the contraction of skin not his own, signalling Tony smiling as well. He stopped himself from another motion long enough to say “Might make you look better,” before doing it again.

Tony lowered his arm from his shoulder down to his back and pulled him closer. “Implying something, Stevie?”

Steve buried his face back into Tony’s chest and tightened his hold. “Never.”

Tony began tracing small circles with his fingers, making Steve almost purr at the sensation. All earlier thoughts of the day almost completely forgotten until Tony asked “How’s your day been?”

The rejection came avalanching back into his mind and also the choking feeling that came with it.

“It’s been fine,” he tried playing off, even burying his face further into the chest (if it was possible) in order to try and hide. In order to stop Tony from looking into his action or questioning further on his day he asked “What are you doing back so early?”

It took a moment but Tony seemed to have taken the bait, “Off day. I managed to fix up yesterday’s and today’s planned job in no time. Gave me a day off because there’s nothing up at the moment.”

“That’s great, Tony,” Steve meant it and moved his head affectionately. He felt Tony kissed his ruffled blonde locks. For a moment he believed that was going to be the end of the day’s conversation -

“Steve what’s wrong?”

Dang it, he should have known Tony wasn’t going to let it go. Asking the question in an attempt to distract the genius must have given him away.

“Nothing’s wrong.”

A very long pause. Steve could practically hear Tony thinking and piecing it together.

“You tried applying again, didn’t you?” 

The sharp pain from before came back full force and even though Steve couldn’t see Tony’s face he was picturing the disappointed look vividly, the sad eyes and forced smile that wanted to cheer him up with encouraging words that would only end up making him feel... worse.

Face still buried in the fabric of Tony’s clothes Steve tightened his hold and nodded, feeling the material scratch his face like needles.

“Oh, Steve,” Tony said softly and there, right there, was the pity in his tone. Perhaps he hadn’t meant it but Steve heard it loud and clear.

“I got denied again,” Steve said in an emotionless tone. Might as well say it outright. Tony wasn’t a fool and this was his fifth attempt. Saying it made the sharp tug in his chest somewhat bearable. It lessen the pain, talking about instead of keeping it in.

“They’re idiots for not accepting you,” Tony said, fiercely.

“They’re not,” Steve countered because they really weren’t. They were looking for the best to join and Steve - he’d consider himself lucky if they just gave him a check-up.

“You’re an idiot for agreeing with them.”

“Maybe.”

Silence befell them for a moment. Steve, with his face right next to Tony’s chest, heard the steady breathing from the genius and the gentle thump of his heartbeat. It calmed him, helped lulled the pain away - not completely, but close enough.

Nothing else was said. Steve had expected for Tony to continue his protectiveness and encouragement, even though he was against the whole idea of Steve joining the army, but instead the genius only held him close. He was grateful for that. Tony knew when to push and when to let things run its course. In this case, after a fifth rejection in a different city, all he wanted was to wallow in self-pity until either inspiration hit him or he downright gave up and became desperate enough to work in some factory, just like Bucky wanted.

He didn’t notice how long time had passed. Could have been minutes, could have been hours. It must have been hours because at one point he heard the front door open and slam close, signalling the arrival of Bucky. He acknowledged the noise and pieced together what it meant but didn’t really pay attention to it.

“You alright?” Tony asked later on.

“I am,” Steve mumbled. He really was. Sure the pain was still there but laying here with Tony, being held by him, being grateful for having at least one thing he’d wanted in his life (well actually he had two. Having a best friend - Bucky - and having a lover - Tony), made Steve… well, made him appreciate what he had. 

Tony hummed, probably not believing him. “You know what this calls for?”

“Please don’t say beer.”

“Don’t be silly. We need the strong stuff. We need to get vodka and that imported rum and tequila. We’re going all out.”

Steve still couldn’t tell if Tony was serious or if he was joking. Even after more than a year of the genius living with them he was still as unpredictable as ever. “You’re not even of age, Tony. I really hope you’re joking.”

“I’m always joking, but not when it comes to drinks, Stevie. Now I love a good Grappa as much as the other guy but alcohol wasn’t what I was going to say. This calls for a big meal in those exaggeratingly expensive places down the road and a good movie. What’s that place you keep looking at every time we pass it? That Italian place.”

Steve pushed his head back, looking at the genius with a frown. “We don’t have the money for that.”

“Please, I’m swimming in it right now. Remember I said I finished up yesterday’s and today’s jobs?” At Steve’s nod Tony continued, “Well two of those cars belonged to some high end people and they paid me generously. The shop didn’t get a chance to touch the money. They got their share from last week’s jobs. I’m not about to hand over this money.”

“Tony did you steal the money?” Steve’s eyes widened.

“It’s not stealing if they give me the money directly. I’m not signed under them, remember?”

“But still, it’s a noble thing to do.”

“Stevie, Steve, Babe, let me be selfish just this once. If people give me money for a job well done I’m going to keep it, and if I want to spend the money taking my boyfriend to that restaurant he’s been wanting to go then I’m damn well going to. I’m also getting coffee. Tons of coffee. We’re going to swim in coffee and drown in coffee and eat nothing but coffee.”

“If we get nothing but coffee we won’t be able to try that Italian place.”

“I have enough money for both don’t you worry. We can take Bucky with us if you want. I have enough. We’ll make him the awkward third-wheel.”

Steve blushed at the affectionate name. He didn’t think he’ll ever prevent himself from blushing every time Tony openly showed emotions. “Bucky will hate you if you do that.”

Tony snorted, “Bucky already hates me. I’m starting to think he actually secretly likes me.” He moved his head and kissed Steve’s forehead. “What do you say? Want to go to that restaurant and judge everything on the menu? We can watch a movie afterwards together. What’s out right now?”

Steve leaned into the kiss, closing his eyes contently, “There’s that cartoon out right now. We can watch that.”

“Good. I’m buying popcorn and we’re going to play ‘Who can hit the screen the most.’”

Tony released his hold on Steve and sprang up from the bed. Before running out the door to the living room he gave Steve a quick kiss on his lips. “Get yourself pretty, Dear. We don’t want to stick out like sore thumbs.”

“We’re going to stick out either way, Tony.”

“Not if you make yourself gorgeous. You’ll steal the floor if you do.”

Steve pulled the blankets up to hide his face. “Tony,” he whined with embarrassment.

“Come on, up and at’em, Baby. We’re blowing this joint and enjoying the day.”

Not waiting for Steve to respond Tony bolted out the door, his heavy steps echoing the further he went and from the distance Steve heard him shout “Get your ass up, Bucky and put pants on! We’re going out.”

Bucky shouted back “I ain’t going anywhere!”

“If you don’t you aren’t getting free Italian food from that place Steve has been eyeing for months!”

There was a long stretch of silence that was quickly followed by two thumps and hurried footsteps from Bucky’s side of the place. “Steve hurry up!” Bucky shouted.

“What happened to not going?” Steve heard Tony tease.

“Shut up. As long as you’re paying I’m all over that.”

“You just want me for my money.”

“Damn right I do.”

Steve, feeling left out, shouted a “At least he’s honest about it, Tony!” before he could respond.

“Get up, Steve. We’re going to miss the cartoon showing if you stay there.”

“We’re watching a film, too? Who’s birthday is it?” Bucky said.

“Steve and I are watching it. You can find your way back to your room on your own.”

“As if I’m going to let you and Steve alone in a dark room to do whatever you want.”

“We’ve been in dark rooms and doing whatever we want for the past month. You’re a little late.”

A thump and two separate pairs of footsteps. “I did _not_ want to know that, you Brat!”

“If I have to hear you when you bring woman over it’s only fair you suffer the same.”

“This is my _best friend_ we’re talking about.”

“All the more reason to swap stories.”

Steve, for his part, was now hiding his flushed face against the pillow. Sometimes he wondered why, of all people, he ended up liking the one guy that apparently had no filter and shared everything openly and with confidence.

“Steeeeeeve, hurry up, Bucky’s trying to kill me and I want to at least try this restaurant before I kick the bucket.”

With an exasperated sigh Steve got up and looked for a decent outfit for the rest of the evening.

~~

 

The restaurant was unsurprisingly good. Better than what Steve and Bucky ate from restaurants they could afford on good days. They had been greedy when they ordered, being encouraged by Tony who claimed he could afford the whole menu if they wanted to try every meal. They didn’t order the entire menu but they did get a fair amount, considering the times.

Bucky ate through his plate with impressive speed. Tony following a close second to who could finish first. Steve took his time, savoring each bite because it wasn’t everyday he’ll get a chance to eat this kind of food.

Throughout the entire time of eating and, either exchanging stories of their days or what the idiot worker who didn’t know how to hold a drill messed up, the subject of Steve’s fifth attempt of enlisting didn’t come up. Steve didn’t have the courage to inform Bucky about it and Tony, thankfully, never hinted or even acted like he knew it happened. Steve managed to enjoy the experience and could almost pretend it was a date between him and Tony. Sure they’ve had dates before when they could but they had to be careful they didn’t openly announced what it was. With Bucky present it felt carefree. They didn’t risk it looking like a date between two men. Just an innocent exchange between three really good friends and only those three friends needed to know the truth.

It was both a friendly day out together and a date. The latter being something that Bucky complained about because he already had to put up with them at home. He didn’t want to be used for their benefit.

“Can’t you both give me a break? It’s bad enough that I have to see you both together everyday, but using me so you both can get lucky?”

Steve and Tony retaliated by throwing rolled up paper napkins at him.

After finishing their food they left and made their way to see the film. Bucky didn’t join them, claiming he had to meet someone else and he’d see them later, bidding them farewell. A bit surprised Steve and Tony didn’t think much of it.

Inside they seated themselves. Tony didn’t buy the popcorn like he promised and whatever good mood they had when they first came in was gone because of the very unpleasant man who wouldn’t stop talking through the film. Still feeling the sting of being denied after a fifth try Steve’s rage began slowly building each time he demanded the disrespectful guy to be quiet and not even Tony’s attempt to calm him down helped. At one point even Tony joined him after the guy pushed one final button and soon it was going to be an all out brawl.

Thankfully it didn’t happen.

What did happen was that same guy disturbing the film pinning them in an alley and fighting them. Tony was thrown on the ground first and Steve did everything he could to prevent the bully from hurting him further.

“You’re going to have a kid fight your battles for you?”

Tony hit his back to the wall after trying to land a punch. Steve balled up his hands and held them up.

“You honestly think you have a chance?” The bully taunted.

“I can do this all day.”

He really couldn’t but he wasn’t about to kneel down and give up to someone who was using his height and weight to beat up others. Especially not after he hurt Tony.

“I’m not a kid, you asshole,” Tony said, standing up glaring at the guy.

“Kids should learn their place.”

More punches were thrown along with kicks and shouts. Tony, after a particularly hard shove from the bully, was on the ground holding his head. Steve had the bully's attention from the genius and stood his ground holding a trashcan lid like a shield, ready to do what it took to end this once and for all.

And that was the moment Bucky decided to appear and scare the bully away. When the man left running Bucky kneeled down next to Tony to check his injuries. Steve followed after him, holding Tony’s face between his hands in worry.

“Tony?”

Tony looked dazed and had the makings of a black eye start to appear but he still managed to have a smile on his face. “I’m fine, I’m fine. Asshole just got a lucky punch in.”

“Jesus, Kid, he did a number on you,” Bucky said, showing concern while attempting to keep his face neutral, trying to hide he cared.

“He could have done worse,” Tony shrugged. “My hero over there stopped him. He was really brave, Bucky you should have seen him.”

Bucky snorted, “Trust me I’ve seen it all. Steve doesn’t know how to give up or stand down.”

“I don’t like bullies,” Steve muttered. “I’m not about to let them get away with hurting others.”

Tony swooned with the back of his hand being dramatically placed on his forehead and he leaned his head back, “My hero. I’d kiss you right now but that’s probably bad to do out here.”

“Keep it in your room,” Bucky deadpanned.

“Are you sure you’re alright, Tony?” Steve asked, ignoring the genius’ playful affection for now.

“I’m fine, Steve. Get me a bag of ice and I’ll be good as new. What’s more important right now is why is Bucky dressed up? Got a hot date?” Tony said while eyeing Bucky’s outfit up and down.

It was then that Steve noticed Bucky wearing his uniform. He gained different emotions at the sight, the strongest being disdained because Bucky wearing it could only mean one thing. The one thing that Steve would never hear being said to him.

Steve stared at the uniform sharply, “Did you get your orders, then?”

Bucky made a noise that was between a huff and a sigh, “107th. Sergeant James Barnes, I ship out for England first thing tomorrow.”

Steve’s stare turned into a glare without him meaning to. He hadn’t even noticed he was doing it until Bucky crossed his arms and said, “Don’t give me that look, Steve.”

“Is this why you didn’t join us for the film?” Steve tried to redirect.

“There was another reason why, not just this. And you have no right. You know it’s illegal to lie on the enlistment form?”

Steve ducked his head in an attempt to hide. Bucky knew. Of course he knew. Steve just didn’t know if Bucky figured it out on his own somehow or if Tony did tell him without Steve looking.

“I didn’t tell him anything,” Tony answered for him.

“Nobody needed to tell me anything,” Bucky said with a roll of his eyes. “You’re too predictable sometimes, Steve. I don’t see what the problem is. You’re about to be the last eligible man in New York. There’s so many women here just waiting to be swept off their feet.”

“Excuse me? I’m still here,” Tony said with a growl, “Steve is taken and I’m not going to let go. I’m a possessive sonofabitch. He’s also not the last man in New York. I recall having a penis between my legs.”

“Kids don’t count,” Bucky deadpanned.

“You wanna go? Mano a mano right here right now, Buck. You’re going down,” Tony raised his fists up.

“I don’t want to give you another black eye.”

“Boys,” Steve said blankly, stopping them on their tracks. “We should go,” he said to Tony.

“No, you both aren’t going anywhere,” Bucky placed a hand on their shoulders. “This is my last night and we’re going to celebrate my leave in style.”

“Should we be prepared for the group of woman you’re bringing back home?” Tony asked sarcastically.

“No, you Brat. I got to get you both cleaned up.”

Steve eyed him suspiciously, “Why? Where are we going?”

There was a twinkle in his eyes that Steve did not like.  “The future.”

From the corner of his eye Steve took notice of Tony’s body flinching and his face losing color. A reaction Steve hadn’t seen on him before. He was about to ask what had happened or what Tony had seen but Bucky yanked them both on their feet and began herding them down the road.

“Come on, let’s get a move on. I promised someone I’d meet them there and I don’t want to be late.”

“Where exactly are we going…?” Tony asked, a notable hesitation in his voice that caused Bucky to falter.

He and Steve exchanged a look. “New York fair, the Modern Marvels of Tomorrow is what it’s called.”

Tony’s body went uncomfortably stiff. They shared another look before Steve said “Tony?”

“I think I’ll head back. You both enjoy the fair,” Tony said uncharacteristically.

The sudden change caused them both concern. Bucky gave him a questionable glance, silently asking if he knew what was wrong. Steve had no idea and so shook his head. What was it about the fair that caused the genius to lock up all of a sudden and turn to run? It must have been something horrible because they hadn’t even visited the place yet. Was this something involving Tony’s past?

“What’s the matter, Kid? You can’t ditch me like this on my last night. This fair is going to be dripping with technology for you to mess with. Hell, you’ll probably go in there and create something better,” Bucky tried encouraging.

Tony was facing away from them and so didn’t see Steve frantically shaking his head to Bucky for him to stop trying to drag the genius to the fair. Something about the fair was scaring Tony and Steve wasn’t about to subject him to it.

“I just remembered that a job at the shop needs a new tube and I promised to get it done before the day ended,” Tony said, an obvious lie even to Bucky who didn’t know Tony had a day off.

Bucky ignored Steve’s pleading and continued, “Walk us over to the place then before you head back. You don’t have to go inside.”

“I don’t -”

“Last night to ever see me. You can celebrate later about it.”

If Steve could somehow shut him up he would prevent Bucky from talking. Clearly Tony was uncomfortable with the idea of going to this fair and now Bucky was trying to guilt him into going. He glared as hard as he could when the genius finally agreed with hesitation, making him sound young and helpless. “Yeah, sure… I’ll walk with you guys over there.”

Bucky ignored his glare and they continued walking to the place. Tony was quiet the whole way, something that just wasn’t meant to happen with the genius who was naturally loud and eccentric. It was worrisome and all Steve wanted to do was bring Tony back and hold him close, away from the world and the fair. He walked close to the genius’ side, sticking himself as much as he could without giving onlookers any ideas and attracting unwanted attention and dangers.

Bucky walked slightly ahead of them, leading the way. He was well aware of the situation, no doubt, and itched to turn around and ask the reason why, but he, just like Steve, held himself back. It was information they couldn’t force until the genius was ready to reveal.

Crowds of people stood outside and walked on every available surface on the ground. It was loud and stuffy and they couldn’t walk without bumping into someone. Steve and Bucky silently agreed to stand by Tony’s sides to lessen the collisions, Bucky still leading the way. From a distance he spotted something and waved, receiving a “Hey, Bucky!” from a gal standing with a friend.

“This is the place,” Bucky said, giving Tony an opening to leave without seeming disrespectful.

Steve had expected for the genius to jump at the chance and say goodbye, but instead they received a “It’s very bright” and no goodbye followup. Tony didn’t leave, not even after the two gals were introduced. He joined them inside the building, stiff as a stone with every step taken in hesitation.

The two girls didn’t pay them any mind, choosing to only focus on Bucky and all the technological wonders surrounding them. On more than one occasion the second girl not in Bucky’s arm kept steering as far away as she could from Steve and Tony, trying to show she wasn’t interested without saying anything, even when neither Steve nor Tony were even attempting to flirt with her.

Steve stuck to the genius’ side, refusing to let him out of his sight. Nothing drastic happened as they gave a round walk. Besides Tony’s stiffness he seemed to be well enough to handle the fair. Whatever the reason he didn’t want to be present in the first place it hadn’t made itself known. Not until an announcement was made that made Tony literally stand stock-still. The two girls dragged Bucky away to what the announcement had promoted, oblivious to what was going on, but Steve stayed besides Tony, his concern completely evident on his face. Bucky shot back his own look but continued to the stage as the girl in his arms refused to let go.

“Tony?” Steve’s voice wavered. Tony’s face had gone pale looking at the stage with a vehicle on it and women dancing around it. Steve placed a hand carefully on his shoulder, shaking lightly, “What’s wrong?”

An emotion flashed on his face. It happened so fast that Steve didn’t get a chance to decipher what it was but the one thing he did notice was Tony’s eyes getting glossier, and not the glossy that described beauty, but glossy that could only mean one thing.

Tony was on the verge of tears.

Panic rose in his chest, “Tony do you want to leave?”

“I - I, no, no I don’t. I just realized something… I -” he was stuttering. Something that never happened before with Tony involved. “The technology here makes me cringe inside. Bucky’s right I could do better,” Tony put on a fake and very unconvincing grin, causing Steve’s concern to grow.

“We can leave if you want. Bucky won’t mind.”

“No, we can’t leave him in their hands. They’ll eat him alive and we can’t let him have all the fun,” Steve frowned but Tony continued, “I’m fine, Steve. Promise.”

“Tell me when and we’ll leave,” Steve said with a tone that suggested no arguing.

“You got it, Captain.”

Confused at the nickname, Steve followed after Tony who led the way to Bucky and the gals. Now closer to the stage Steve managed to see the futuristic flying car presentation, noticing the man named Howard Stark and how familiar he seemed. Steve couldn’t place it but he felt he knew the man somehow. Maybe not personality wise but he looked so familiar, far too familiar. Steve thought long and hard on how that was possible. It was the looks. Howard Stark looked like someone he had seen before. Perhaps he had passed the man somewhere? Casually walked next to him and memorized his face from one simple glance. But the odds of crossing paths with a technical genius like Stark were impossible. They were a whole different class compared to each other.

Then again he ran into Tony in an alley and he was a technical genius in his own right. Granted they were about the same class, but Tony had the makings to be someone like Howard Stark.

Wait…

Tony…

Howard Stark.

Steve snapped his head to Tony so fast he probably cracked something in his neck but he had to see. He studied Tony’s features closely, focused on them and detailed every single strand of hair and bone structure. It was difficult to tell similar traits with two figures unless they stood next to each other, but even with one standing on a stage and the other standing next to him Steve could tell.

Howard Stark looked familiar, and now he knew why. He looked like Tony. Stark reminded Steve of Tony. Tony looked like Stark. A look that couldn’t be coincidence. It was a look meant to be shared by DNA.

Steve swallowed and looked back to Stark, confirming the similarity.

It couldn’t be…

Was it possible that Tony was Howard Stark’s son?

If so that would explain why Tony didn’t want to visit the fair. Why he had gotten completely pale at watching the stage.

But no it couldn’t be. Tony’s last name was Rhodes, not Stark. Unless… that was his mother’s name?

That thought nearly caused Steve to grab Tony’s arm and yank him as far away from Stark and the fair as possible.

If Stark was Tony’s father but Tony kept his mother’s name and Steve found Tony in an alley with nothing but the clothes on his back… it could only mean one thing. Stark abandoned his son and left him to fend for himself. Left him alone and homeless.

Steve felt shame rise in his chest. He and Bucky had dragged Tony to a fair where his father that abandoned him was making a presentation. They had forced Tony to see the man that had everything and gave nothing.

What had they done?

Distracted with guilt Steve didn’t notice Stark’s presentation and how the flying vehicle failed utterly and how the man tried playing it off casually. He would have gotten some joy from that but the moment it had ended the crowd had scattered and only Bucky, Tony, the gals and him were left standing there.

Bucky still had the girl in his arms but his focus was on Tony, so was Steve’s. The genius was looking at something in the distance, completely void of emotions, but Steve and Bucky knew he was expressing more than he let on.

Clearing his throat Bucky said, “What do you say we treat these girls…”

“I think I’ll head on out now,” Tony muttered, still looking distantly.

“Tony…” Steve said.

“Do you gals mind us for a bit?” Bucky said to the girls who looked offended and walked away with a slight huff. “Well there goes my date.”

“I’m sure you’ll find others,” Steve said to him. “Tony are you alright?”

“Fine, Steve. I’m just fine.” Tony didn’t sound fine. Not at all. “Steve look over there,” the genius gestured with his chin, pointing at something behind him.

Steve followed his gaze and spotted the enlisting room with soldiers walking in and out. He silently asked why Tony was pointing it out for and what he wanted to do. There had to be a reason for it because it seemed unnecessarily cruel, even for Tony, to point out what Steve could never be.

“Why don’t you try again?” Tony asked.

One to always look at the positive of things Steve would love nothing more than to give it one last shot, but he still had the possibility of Tony’s abandonment in his mind and really what he wanted to do now was support the genius and wish the pain away.

When Steve made no move to head for the enlisting room Tony continued, “Don’t worry about me, Steve. Go on and try again. You’ll never know what they’ll say unless you try.”

“Hold on, you’re not actually encouraging him, are you?” Bucky interrupted, “You’re not actually thinking of doing this again, right?” he asked Steve.

With a nod from Tony but his earlier worry involving Stark in his mind Steve shrugged, “It’s a fair. Might as well try my luck.”

“As who?” Bucky countered, “Steve from Ohio? You can’t keep doing this. They’ll catch you, or worse, they’ll actually take you.”

“Look, I know -”

“This isn’t a back alley, Steve. It’s war.”

They kept shooting remarks back and forth. Steve determined to try and Bucky equally determined not to let Steve go. Tony was still quiet. His eyes never leaving the enlisting room. The little argument didn’t stop until the girls came back and wrapped an arm around Bucky, prompting him to leave with them, but not before saying a “Both of you don’t do anything stupid until I get back.”

“How can we? you’re taking it all with you,” Steve said.

“You’re a punk.”

“Jerk.”

Girls still wrapped around him Bucky pinned Tony down and asked “You’ll be alright, Kid?”

“Peachy,” Tony said with a shrug. “Go, get out of here. Don’t keep the ladies waiting.”

When Bucky disappeared Tony took that opportunity to bid goodbye as well. “I’ll see you back home.”

There was no affectionate nickname or no hug goodbye or even a silent exchange of love between them. Steve could only nod before Tony abruptly turned and left. Watching him leave Steve came down to two choices he could have made. Follow after the genius and make sure he was truly alright and kiss the hurt away or head over and try his luck at enlisting again. He was a second away from deciding to follow after Tony when a man with white hair, glasses and an accent stood in his way and led him into a room to have him wait. Steve followed unconsciously, mind not really there until the man, the Dr, asked him if he wanted to kill Nazis.

Afterwards, when Dr. Abraham Erskine offered him a chance to fight in the war, Steve crossed through the fair, eager to get home and tell Tony the brilliant news. It would probably bring forth problems that neither wanted to talk about or even think it, but this was perhaps one of the greatest moments of his life, behind being with Tony of course.

The problems he was talking about was the issue that if Steve - by some miracle - got enlisted and sent off to war, and Bucky as well, Tony was going to be left alone in the apartment and in New York. Without identification Tony couldn’t enlist. The army was paranoid and without any papers whatsoever they refused to add just anyone who claimed to be American. Which Steve thought was silly but extremely thankful. This way, no matter what, Tony could not go to war and get hurt and Steve could sleep in peace knowing Tony was safe and sound. He wish he could say the same for Bucky but his stubborn best friend had everything needed to take part in the war and nothing Steve said would stop him.

Steve will worry for Bucky when he gets sent away tomorrow but at least he won’t have to worry for Tony knowing he was to remain here in New York, safe under a roof and tucked away in blankets.

And now Steve was going to be sent over with Bucky and Tony was going to remain in the apartment alone and he felt guilt wash over him because now they were leaving the genius completely alone with only a father who abandoned him in the city and was staying for who knows how long…

Steve needed to get back to Tony immediately and begin showering him with affection to make up for what he was about to do.

Determined and with a goal in mind he began to march towards the exit. He was going to show Tony just what he meant to him before he left and hopefully manage to win his forgiveness. He managed to get halfway through the room before he heard shouting and grunts and the sounds of struggling and heavy boots stepping on the hard floor. The shouting alone would have gotten his attention but it was the person who was shouting that sent Steve reeling because he knew that voice. How could he not?

Steve searched around frantically for the source and spotted a chilling sight that drained the color on his face away.

Near the room where men were enlisting, the very room Steve had barely walked out not five minutes ago, were two soldiers and an important looking man who was certainly in charge dragging away a struggling figure. The figure was shouting and kicking and trying to yank his arms out of the soldiers’ grips and the figure was very much, without a doubt, Tony.

“I’m not a spy, Goddamit! Let me go! I need to talk to the person in charge!”

“Tony,” Steve whispered in panic. “Tony!”

The men were taking him away somewhere beyond where the crowd was allowed. Tony fought every step of the way but the soldiers were no pushovers. Steve’s body began moving on its own, running after them and shouting his lover’s name in desperation.

Many things happened at once, none of which Steve had any control over. The first thing was an arm wrapping around his shoulders and preventing him from running after the genius. The second was watching Tony disappear into what looked like an exit with more soldier men joining in his subduing and the important man in charge slowly walking behind them. The third was a voice calling out to him and saying “Steve stop! There’s nothing we can do, Steve!” The fourth was Steve focusing enough to realize that the voice calling out to him was Bucky, who was still in the fair, and he was the same one who had an arm wrapped around him and stopping him from following after Tony.

The last thing was him realizing that Tony was taken away under the guise of national security, believing him to be someone dangerous during the times of war, and that, perhaps, if the army was truly as brutal as they say, Steve was never going to see his lover again.

“Bucky, Bucky they took him. They took Tony. We have to do something!” Steve said frantically.

“I know, Steve. I know. I’ll do everything I can to get him back,” Bucky tried soothing. The crowd around them that stopped to watch the exchange completely obviously to their turmoil.

“They took him. They took him. Oh, God they took Tony. We have to get him back. We have to! What are they going to do with him?”

“Shh, Steve calm down. We’ll get him back. I promise.”

Steve wanted to believe him. He truly did. But something deep inside, something in his heart, was telling him that this was just the beginning. He was going to lose Tony, and there was nothing he could do about it.

~~

 

Steve felt numb and sluggish, not really acknowledging his surroundings besides following Bucky’s orders for returning back to their apartment. Bucky practically dragged him away from the fair, gripping his sleeve and refusing to let go, maneuvering him through the small crowds making their way back home. Even with his best friend leading the way Steve still managed to bump into the occasional shoulder and accidentally step on the heel of someone walking in front of him. When that happened before he would always apologize right after. Accidents happened and he was respectful enough to own up for his part, but on that moment he couldn’t bring himself to care for good manners. In fact he didn’t care at all.

After they had taken Tony away Steve desperately tried to follow after them and explain the entire situation, ready to resort to fighting if it came to it. He’d probably fight before even trying to calmly handle the situation. The sight of Tony struggling and shouting with fear in his eyes left Steve rattled and shaken. Part of it was because Tony was his lover and Steve never wanted him to experience pain or fear. The other part was just how young Tony looked in the arms of those army men. For a brief moment he looked like a child that was to become a casualty of war. A child to be interrogated or tortured for information on the whereabouts of enemies. A child that might be killed for the sake of proving a point, winning respect through fear.

God, he wanted Tony back safely in his arms and as far away from this war as possible. And from the way Bucky’s hands were turning white from gripping his sleeve harshly he knew his best friend felt the same way. Not in the romantic sense but in a friend and brotherly aspect of it. Bucky refused to admit it but Steve saw right through him. Bucky, in the time since first meeting Tony, exactly more than a year ago, had grown fond of the genius. It was an odd relationship that changed from “you hurt my best friend and I will bury you alive” to “you’re just a child you can’t go out there alone I will protect you.” It was almost as if Bucky saw another Steve in the genius and he had this embedded instinct to protect them both from the horrors of the world. Something Steve was grateful for with Tony but completely upset when it involved him.

Protect Tony. Steve will support you every step of the way, but let Steve himself fight his own battles, thanks.

Now, Steve knew for a fact Bucky was beating himself up for what just happened, just as much as Steve was. Bucky had been there. Bucky could have done something to prevent any of it from happening. Bucky had left with a dame to have fun instead of keeping an eye on the genius and stop him from doing anything stupid, just like Bucky had told them not to do.

They were both there and yet none of them did anything to help. Couldn’t do anything at all. It made them feel helpless, an image Steve had learned to live with because of his physique.

If this was how they felt Steve couldn’t begin to imagine Tony; scared and alone in the hands of friendlies, believed to be an enemy of the country. No others could even come close to as cruel as your own allies.

Long after they arrived in their apartment they still hadn’t said anything to each other. Not since the incident happened. They still couldn’t believe it did. They were angry at themselves, scared for Tony, upset with the genius because - what was he thinking? doing whatever he was doing that got the attention of the army - and now standing in their apartment everything felt so… empty. They were missing a chunk that was a part of their life now.

What was meant to be a night of celebration turned into a depressing night of worry. Bucky, instead of spending time with a dame, sat himself on the couch and stared blankly at the front of the turned off radio. Steve had gotten himself a cup filled with water meant to be tea but never reached the point to get the bag and twirled the water absentmindedly, standing in the kitchen.

“What do you reckon he’s doing now?” Steve asked in an attempt to make noise and push away the suffocating silence. He asked but he and Bucky knew he wasn’t looking for an actual answer.

“Probably making hell for those who took him and smart mouthing their ears off. He’ll probably built something to help him escape,” Bucky said with no friendly tone whatsoever. It sounded strained, even to his own ears.

“Probably,” Steve agreed.

More silence.

“Bucky, they took -”

“We’ll get him back, Steve. Even if I have to get promoted to the highest possible in one day we will get him back. I’ll break him out if I have to. I promise.”

Steve, deep down, believed him. Bucky was resourceful when he set his mind on something. If he promised he’d break someone out from a high security prison he’d find a way to do so. But something told him it wasn’t going to be as simple as that.

“Bucky,” Steve said without realizing it. Not really knowing what he wanted to say.

“Steve,” Bucky answered unconsciously. Not expecting Steve to say anything further.

Silently agreeing that nothing else was left to be mentioned they both turned and headed for their respective rooms. Not even a goodbye was said between them.

Steve, lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling, felt cold and small from the now seemingly huge bed without the second body on it. After sleeping with Tony next to him for months he had grown accustomed to having a constant warmth that moved and clung to him in his sleep, the occasional snoring on long days, the rare heated nights that happened on Steve’s best days when his body agreed to it and the affectionate contacts filled with marathon of kisses.

For the first time since meeting Tony, Steve felt alone.

In the upcoming morning Steve bid Bucky goodbye. Not realizing, until he was out of sight, that Steve never even mentioned the good news about his enlisting to Bucky.

In the upcoming morning Steve got to work packing what he needed and storing the rest to willing acquaintances, pointedly trying to ignore the items that neither belonged to him or Bucky and breaking down on the floor of the living room when he saw the small toolbox with the screwdriver misplaced next to it on the outside.

In the upcoming morning Steve cleaned his room and ended up unintentionally erasing all evidence that Tony had ever lived in it.

In the upcoming morning, when Steve expected his day’s kiss, he had gotten nothing. Even when he joined with the other recruits on the project he didn’t receive anything, not even a “good luck” or a “good bye” in the all too familiar teasing voice.

In the upcoming week Steve never saw a single strand of brown hair, or the brown eyes, or the cute pointed nose of the genius.

In the upcoming month Steve never heard a single set of news about Tony Rhodes.


	4. Captain America

When Steve was dropped off in the camp where other recruits were strutting around and eager to get started and show their worth he found he still felt nothing. The excitement that lasted a total of five minutes or so from first hearing he was given the chance to enlist and become a part of something that could change his world vanished the moment the incident in the fair happened. It was not there. He moved with the flow but it almost felt as if he wasn’t present, at least not all of him. One part of him wanted to continue and do what he’d always wanted, to stop the bullies. Another part of him wanted to make a break for it and join Bucky already in the search for Tony.

He felt useless just standing there with the other recruits who were throwing their weight around and _smiling_ , as if enlisting was a joke. Steve really wanted to punch them on their face. Bucky was out there already and most likely days away from joining the fight and Tony was who knew where probably scared and terrified and Steve and these other recruits were just here, waiting to be picked for some big plan by Dr. Erskine.

“Ready, exercise!”

Hollow inside, Steve jumped in head first in the exercising, doing his best to momentarily forget his heartache, even if it was a sharp thorn in the back of his mind that nearly made it impossible to. He threw himself in the task, mind and body, wanting desperately to prove to himself and to the others that he was more than a walking stick with health problems. What Bucky had said before encouraged him to push forward. If he could get picked for this project, for whatever Erskine was attempting to create, then maybe, just maybe, he could skip through the steps needed to become a higher up in the commanding chain. He could take part in the battle for his country and have pardon to march into any holding cell and demand the release of Tony Rhodes, have him sent back safe and sound and far away from the war.

Steve was going to make it happen. If not him than he hoped with all his might for Bucky to accomplish it. Between them both it was bound to happen. It had to happen. They were not going to leave Tony alone or abandon him.

He was having trouble breathing by the time someone commanded a “Recruits, attention!” and he took notice of how he was the only one on the verge of collapsing from the way his breathing sounded. He envied the other recruits. If he had healthy lungs he would have done twice the amount  and already been on his way to join the battle and learned where they were holding Tony.

With newfound determination and the beginnings of growing hope Steve stood straight at attention, keeping his eyes sharp for the one in charge and prepared for their next course. He quickly noticed, just as the other recruits did as well, the lone figure that stood completely out of place in a camp filled with men. A woman with brown curls and an imposing and in charge outfit walked up to the front of the square.

“Gentlemen, I am Agent Carter.”

Steve was momentarily thrown off at the sight of her. Her threateningly yet beautiful red lips and standing with a posture that suggested she would take you down if you said the wrong thing played a major part in why he was taken back, but it was her eyes that sealed the deal of how fascinating she was. Her large, brown eyes… they reminded him of Tony. His own child-like eyes wide with youth and beauty, somehow a quarter larger than hers, yet her eyes were still as expressive.

He found her eyes were stunning, and then he realized he was admiring someone else by comparing them to his lover.

“I supervise all operations for this division,” she continued.

“What’s with the accent, Queen Victoria? I thought I was signing up for the U.S. Army.”

“What’s your name, soldier?”

“Gilmore Hodge, Your Majesty.”

“Step forward, Hodge.”

The soldier that was insulting her, Hodge, ignored her and Steve felt a boiling rage build up in him. That was no way to treat a dame.

“Put your right foot forward,” Carter said in a tone that suggested there was going to be bad news if Hodge didn’t listen.

“We gonna wrassle? ‘Cause I got a few moves I know you’ll like.”

 _Well_ , Steve thought. _He just signed up for his funeral_.

And he was right. Agent Carter gave him a mean swing that landed right on his jaw and sent him falling. Steve stopped himself from whistling, not wanting it to be taken the wrong way. He had to admit, Agent Carter was sure something and he admired her confidence. She was nothing like the ladies back home.

“Agent Carter!” someone shouted from the side. A man who looked in charge walked up to stand next to Carter.

“Colonel Phillips,” she answered, not at all guilty for having punched a soldier down not a couple of seconds ago.

“I can see that you are breaking in the candidates. That’s good,” Steve allowed himself to grin at that. He hadn’t expected that response from the Colonel but he sure loved it. “Get your ass up out of that dirt and stand in that line at attention until somebody comes and tells you what to do.”

This was it. The point of no return. Either Steve was going to get picked for this recruitment and be excused for breaking into a high security building to get Tony out, or he was not and was going to have to come up with a plan and be labeled a traitor for it and go on the run from the government. Either way he was seeing Tony again and setting him free.

~~~

 

The course was pure hell for Steve. While other recruits seemed to breeze right through the run Steve struggled just staying on his feet, but he continued to push forward. He didn’t know the story of the other recruits, why they signed up to take part of the war, but Steve believed he had more reason than all of them to not give up and continue to push his body past his limits. He had Bucky and Tony to reach. He had to fight along Bucky and he had to break Tony free. He was not going to roll on the ground and accept defeat, even if his body fought him every step of the way.

“That flag means we’re only at the halfway point. First man to bring it to me gets a ride back with Agent Carter. Move, move!”

He watched the other recruits made fools of themselves by trying to climb the pole, giving him a chance to rest without having anyone call him out on it. The captain ordered them to fall in line but he didn’t follow the other recruits. Instead, he went straight to the pole and studied it. He thought of ways to get the flag and even pictured Bucky and Tony standing behind him cheering him on.

He imagined Tony standing with a smug look on his face and cupping his hands together over his mouth to create a megaphone and shout “Come on, Babe! It’s easy. You’ve got this. Use your brain, not your muscles. Brains are sexy.”

He also imagined Bucky doing the same but instead of cupping his hands together he had them crossed, “Think, Steve. Don’t be like those idiots. Throw the kid up there to get the flag.”

“I’m not a kid!”

Steve grinned at his own imagination, probably causing great concern to those surrounding him for smiling up at a flag for no reason. With the visions of his best friend and lover supporting him he quickly studied the pole, remembering that the other recruits could not climb it up, meaning there was no way he could, and so improvised. If he couldn’t get to the flag then he would have to make the flag come to him.

Ignoring the Colonel ordering him to line up he got to work, gaining great satisfaction from all of their faces when they witnessed the pole falling and the flag within his grasp. Hiding his smirk was harder than he thought when he handed the flag over. Bucky and Tony were rubbing off on him, what with them both not bothering to be modest when things went their way. One was bad but with two, he didn’t stand a chance.

He climbed on and nodded to Carter, feeling slightly awkward from receiving her look of approval but glad for it. It was a nice change compared to the taunting and disapproving glances the others gave him. As they drove away, leaving the other recruits behind, Steve looked back one last time, not to look at them, but to look where the visions of Bucky and Tony were last standing, imagining them waving with proud grins.

 _I’ll see you both soon_ , Steve thought, hope and determination growing as the recruits vanished from sight, Bucky and Tony with them.

The next time Steve saw the vision of his friend and lover they weren’t as proud as they were with the flag. Even if it was in Steve’s head and he was picturing how they would react if they were there in person, it seemed Steve knew them far too well because it was frightening how realistic they looked.

Vision Bucky hovered over him, his face caught between anger and shock and fear. He looked ready to strangle him, to finish the job the fake grenade poking his side had failed to do.

“What the _hell_ were you thinking, Steve?” Vision Bucky ground out.

Next to him, on the floor sitting on his knees was Vision Tony, who was gripping the ground like a lifeline. His face was pale white and his big expressive eyes were filled with terror. His lips were parted and Steve was pretty sure his eyes were even glossier than normal, meaning he was on the verge of tears. It was the same look Tony had given him when they first met in that alleyway and Steve had guilt suffocating him for causing it.

“Oh, my _God_ , _Steve_ ,” Vision Tony stressed. “You self-sacrificing pain in my ass. And I don’t mean that literally, maybe one day soon. _Why_ would you- No, what am I talking about? Of course you of all people would do that! You’d probably do it again to save a bunch of kittens, you patriotic asshole. I’m too young to have white hairs and you’re going to be the reason for all of them. _Why_ do I fucking love you?”

Everything else Tony would probably say, but that last part, the “I love you” part, Steve was pretty sure was just his mind longingly creating. Tony had never said it once in their time together, both as only friends and as lovers. But Steve liked to pretend that at this point Tony felt that way and had wanted to say it for a while but was too scared because he didn’t know how Steve would take it. Steve liked to pretend it was that because that was the reason why he himself hadn’t said it yet.

Steve was about to respond to him, not remembering it was his mind imagining it for the sake of keeping him going, when from behind Tony Agent Carter appeared. She had the face of approval again, eyes shining at the response he had on the fake grenade. Clearly he had won her over and he was overjoyed by it. It meant he had a high chance of getting picked as the man to start the project. He looked over to the Colonel and Dr. Erskine, both having opposite reactions to him. Colonel was clearly upset at the outcome, probably not having expected Steve of all recruits to sacrifice himself, but Dr. Erskine looked proud, as if he had expected Steve to do this.

That meant he had won over two now. All that was missing was Colonel but two out of three was a pretty good chance and Steve, since Tony was taken, found a reason again to be excited.

This was happening. This was truly happening.

_Hold on, Tony. I’ll get you out of there soon. Just hold on._

~~

 

Even though he was determined to be selected for the project Steve still found it hard to believe that he was actually picked to be the man. He swore he was dreaming and his brain had imagined the whole thing up. Dr. Erskine wasn’t really sitting in front of him and telling him he was selected and the procedure was dangerous with a possibility of killing him. He wasn’t telling Steve that. Steve was just desperate enough to get out of there and join Bucky on the battlefield and get their hunt started for Tony.

He kept blinking, trying to will Dr. Erskine to disappear and show the entire conversation was just a figment of his imagination, but Erskine wasn’t vanishing.

When Erskine left Steve still believed the whole thing was fake but when none of the other recruits returned back for the night he finally had to accept that, yes, he was, indeed, accepted as the candidate for Project Rebirth and he was going to get experimented on and injected with a serum that could subsequently kill him. If he got killed, well, he did his part in serving his country, but it meant saying goodbye to his best friend and lover. He was to never see Bucky or Tony again and they probably wouldn’t ever know what happened to him or how he died. They were going to be left behind with no knowledge of what happened to Steve Rogers. But if the serum worked and he became a supersoldier then nothing was going to stop him from climbing up the ranks and joining Bucky’s side and breaking Tony free.

It was a chance. It was a lethal chance, but it was still a chance for Steve to see them.

“You know what I’m going to say about this, Steve.”

From his side, sitting next to him but not causing a dip on the bed, was Vision Bucky. He wasn’t looking at Steve. He was facing the wall in front of them and had a not-too-happy expression on his face.

“It’s dangerous. You could _die_.”

 _I know, Buck,_ Steve thought instead of said.

“Steve don’t do this. I want to see you again but I can’t if you die.”

Vision Tony appeared on his other side, not looking at him either but instead of facing the wall he had his head down, staring at his lap.

_It’s a chance, Tony. I have to take it. It’s a chance._

They didn’t respond after that. Steve’s mind not able to decide if they would encourage him after saying that or continue to try and stop him. They love him too much to see him die for nothing, so he figured they would probably continue to say no. But at the same time they love him too much to see him give up that easily just because death was a possibility, standing just outside the door.

They disappeared after a while, vanished just as silent as the night sleeping for the last time on this bed. This was the point of no return. Nothing was going to stop him, not even Vision Bucky or Tony. He was going through with Project Rebirth and he was going to survive it. He had to survive it. His country, his best friend and his lover were out there and needed help and he was finished with just sitting down and doing nothing.

He beat the other recruits and he was not going to disappoint those supporting him.

The night before the process was to take place Steve had a dream. It was a hopeful dream that quickly turned to horror right before his eyes. In his dream he was back in their apartment, exactly how it was before Bucky left for England, Steve came for Project Rebirth and Tony was taken.

Steve was standing in the middle of their living room, missing all the furniture they had. There was no couch and no radio, no kitchen table or chairs. The apartment was completely bare. In front of him, standing side by side, were Bucky and Tony and they were smiling as if seeing a longtime friend for the first time after so many years. Steve, in the obscure and foggy world of dreams, felt overjoyed at seeing them. The feeling was as clear as day and he clutched to it as if his life depended on it, somehow unconsciously knowing somewhere in the back of his mind something was wrong and this was possibly the last time he would ever feel this way.

Steve made to move and say something. He wanted to say how much he missed them and how much he loved them, even though he didn’t understand why. They were standing before him, how could he miss them? He tried saying the words but nothing came out of his mouth. Bucky and Tony replied either way but just like him no sound was heard. They continued talking, moving only their mouths and making conversation, never looking away from him. And then the apartment started breaking.

The walls cracked first and quickly fell apart. Then came the roof and, even though it was right on top of their heads, not a single piece of it touched them. The apartment quickly disappeared after that, leaving them standing in a deserted, snowy, wasteland. Steve searched the place in panic, frantically trying to find the danger that was evidently around them. Bucky and Tony continued to remain standing and smiling, unconcerned with what was happening. Desperate now, Steve tried shouting at them. He didn’t know what he was shouting but he just needed them to do something.

And then the horror happened.

There was a sickening sound that echoed all around. Tony continued to stand with the friendly and loving smile on his face but this time he had blood dripping down from the corner of his mouth to his chin. On his beautiful face there were blood splatters everywhere. From his chest a spear-like item was sticking out of it, blood dripping and staining his shirt that Steve finally noticed to be army clothing. He was struck from behind, only showing the very tip from Steve’s angle. His smile never faltered and his eyes still had that loving and happy expression in them, wide and childish.

Tony mouthed something else, grinning one last time before the spear retracted and yanked him back. He flew like a ragdoll, falling and falling and slowly disappearing. Steve pushed his feet forward and tried running after him, desperately reaching out for Tony to grab his hand but an invisible force kept him back. Where Tony stood Steve could not pass and he was left kneeling down on nothing as he gave soundless screams. Tony still smiled.

From the corner of his eye Steve saw Bucky shuffle and then he was kneeling down. He placed a hand on his shoulder, prompting Steve to look up and he felt his heart stop. Bucky no longer looked like the Bucky he saw before heading for England. Bucky looked aged and his hair had grown, sprouting some silver. He looked fatherly, a ripe old age to be married with a wife and have teenage kids. Bucky was saying something to him but Steve couldn’t read lips and so the words were left to never be known. He was smiling, as well.

And then a wall of ice and snow came barreling from behind Bucky. He was grinning and oblivious to what was going to happen. Steve had no chance to warn him and in an instant the wall struck him, sending him forward right to Steve in a terrifying sight.

Steve jumped awake with a cold sweat, clutching his chest and trying to breathe. Emotionally exhausted and alone he broke down and began crying, tucking his knees and curling his arms around them, resting his forehead. He was shivering from the fear and from the memory of the cold. The blanket did nothing for him.

~~

 

When they came to pick him up and take him to the building he walked as tall and with as much confidence as he could muster (even after experiencing what could possibly be the most awkward conversation of his life with Agent Carter) when they led him to the room where the procedure would take. There were a bunch of unknown faces surrounding him but the notable four he instantly recognized as Dr. Erskine, Agent Carter, Colonel Phillips and… Howard Stark.

Steve couldn’t stop himself from glaring when he saw the man. He hadn’t expected to see him there of all places and yet here he stood, focused on his buttons and clipboards and yet completely oblivious as to why Steve was giving him unwelcomed glares.

Steve quickly turned his head before he ended up saying rude things to Stark and before others noticed his hostile attitude towards the man. He wasn’t fast enough, though, because Agent Carter caught the look and tried following his gaze but Stark was surrounded by other scientists and so she couldn’t pinpoint who exactly Steve was glaring at.

As they prepared him to get locked in the machine Steve caught a glance of Vision Bucky and Tony appearing, standing far too close to where Stark was working. Tony stood right next to Stark and looked out of character doing nothing from being so close to the man. Steve envisioned him still acting hesitant and wanting to get as far away from him as possible, but Tony didn’t move. He continued to stare right at Steve. He clearly wasn’t happy that he was going through with this but he stood there either way, acting as moral support. Both he and Bucky.

They injected him but Steve hardly noticed it, far too busy focusing on the two important people of his life. He didn’t dare look away, believing that this could be the last time he’d ever see them again.

They closed the door and locked him in. Stark was pushing buttons like mad and the only reason Steve noticed was because of Tony still standing near him, unmoved. The two being so close to each other; Steve could note just how much they looked like each other. Like actual father and son. Stark had to be Tony’s father. He just had to be. If not, they had to somehow be related. Tony didn’t just act hesitant out of nowhere and withdrew for nothing. Tony was Tony. He was eccentric and loud and confident and speaks his mind without thought of consequences. The only times he hesitated was when feelings were involved, and even then he quickly recovered and regained his confidence.

Pain shot through his body and Steve had to force his eyes closed in an attempt to sooth the pain. It didn’t help. He heard shouting from outside and he couldn’t figure out if it was from Vision Bucky’s and Tony’s muffled words or if it was from Agent Carter and Dr. Erskine crying for the machine to be turned off. His body was burning, on the verge of almost causing his skin to melt right off. At least that was how it felt.

He shouted for them to continue, to not stop the machine. He clenched his teeth shut in an attempt to stop himself from screaming because of the pain but grunts still managed to escape him.

It felt like hours before the pain began to recede. It was only a small release, barely felt, but a huge relief to Steve compared to the full force. And then, as if it never happened, it stopped. The pain disappeared all in one, only leaving behind a tingling sensation on his skin and muscles as evidence that he just went through… well, went through hell, as Bucky and Tony would put it.

The chamber he was locked in moved and began opening. Steve took deep breaths, for the first time feeling the difference between before and after. He was breathing oddly, missing certain aspects he had grown used to in his 23 years of living. It took far too long for him to realize that the way he was breathing was what healthy folk breathed like. What was considered good and normal. He was finally experiencing it for the first time. That could have only meant one thing. Project Rebirth worked. It must have worked. He opened his eyes to see, to make sure, and didn’t recognize his own body from how different it had become. He had grown, he had muscles, and he had a healthy physique.

He instinctively searched for Vision Bucky and Tony, wanting to share his joy with them, but he found they were missing. When he tried to imagine them back his vision was swarmed by scientist prodding and poking and Agent Carter stood before him, reaching a hand out and touching his… pecks. It was a quick tap and Steve wanted to shy away from it but the hand retracted just as fast as it touched. The first touches on his new body and they were all from unknown faces and Agent Carter.

The feeling of emptiness he was growing used to came back at the thought of Tony. He wanted to show him the success, wanted to hold him with his new arms, to engulf him just like Tony had done to him when they hugged. He wanted Tony to be the first person to touch him.

He looked back to the spot where they last stood but still Bucky and Tony did not appear. Instead the scientists that worked with Stark were stepping all over their spot, as if there was never a trace of them.

Even with denial Steve couldn’t fool himself to believe they were ever present.

They were never there.

And then the shooting happened and Dr. Erskine laid on the ground, dying in his arms. 

Steve was so close. It was within reach and he was inches away from getting to Bucky and Tony. He would see them again soon. He had to.

He was so damn close.

And then Colonel Phillips wanted nothing to do with him.

Agent Carter and Stark gave him pitying looks. He wanted to punch Stark’s face in. The man was going to England and taking up the fight against Hydra, but Steve was staying behind. The world was cruel.

Steve felt his eyes sting and his heart clench. Nothing had changed. He had an entirely new body but he was no closer to his best friend and lover now. He was right back where he started.

At least they couldn’t see him now, acting and performing for the sake of selling bonds.

This wasn’t what he wanted to do.

If Bucky or Tony saw him now they wouldn’t even recognize him. Not because of his new body but because of a fool he was making himself.

He continued though, holding on the small bit of false hope that maybe, just maybe, he would somehow end up joining the war.

They would notice he was an asset and not an experiment meant to perform for entertainment. They had to. Steve could do so much more. They would eventually realize that “hey! Rogers here has the skill and needs to be sent out on the field to save his people and serve his country” and send him over to England to stand by Bucky’s side. They would eventually realize what good of a soldier he was and promote him to the highest possible in no time.

Nothing would hold him back from reaching his goal. Not the men who were unimpressed with his performance. Not the dames who perked up at the sight of him and tittered around. Not the Senator who continued to use him as a dancing monkey.

And then Agent Carter appeared.

~~

 

Steve squashed down the desire to glare at Stark. The man, much to his dismay, was helping him. Steve didn’t like it but he needed Stark’s help if he was going to help Bucky.

Bucky. He was finally going to go to Bucky and fight by his side. Bucky was alive. He just knew it. And he was going to do everything he could to get him back, even if it meant asking the man he liked the least for help.

He only wished Stark would stop staring at him. Each time he did Steve was reminded of Tony and how he longed for Tony to be the one staring at him, and not this man who looked an awful lot like him.

“Agent Carter? If we’re not in too much of a hurry, I thought we could stop off in Lucerne for a late-night fondue.”

Late-night fondue? Was that a code name for sex? Was Stark really asking Agent Carter for that right in front of Steve? Did the man not have the decency to at least keep his private life to himself?

Steve was so happy Tony wasn’t raised by this man, even if it caused him pain from being abandoned.

“Steven?” Carter said, snapping Steve from his thoughts.

“Just thinking,” Steve looked out the window, hoping it would deter her from prodding.

It worked, for the most part. Agent Carter handed him a device she quickly explained to be a transponder meant to send them a signal when he was ready. Then she looked as if she was about to say something but then the plane shook dangerously, nearly sending them flying to the wall of the plane. Steve quickly ran to the door. This was the signal to get a move on and he needed to get off so Agent Carter and Stark could turn away and head back for safety. Steve may dislike the man but even he didn’t deserve to die by helping him across enemy line. Perhaps this was the man’s first step for redemption, helping Steve find his best friend who will in turn help him free Tony.

“Get back here! We’re taking you all the way in,” Agent Carter tried stopping him but Steve was having none of that.

“As soon as I’m free, turn this thing around and get the hell out of here,” Steve was not a fan of using disrespectful language to a dame, even if the dame was Agent Carter, but right then the situation called for it.

“You can’t give me orders!”

“The hell I can’t! I’m a captain!” with one final look Steve turned and jumped off. He landed not so gently on the ground and with a bit of a tumble but for someone who hadn’t free-fallen before he believed he did a good job.

He quickly got to work searching for danger and making his way through, determined and as prepared as he’ll ever be. When he came upon the place that was believed to hold the captured soldiers he did fast work in breaking in and finding them. He probably looked mad just frantically searching for that one face he needed to see but he needed to find Bucky. He needed to make sure his best friend was alive and well and was just in another cell patiently waiting for Steve to break him out so he could scold him for everything he had done to get there.

Bucky was not there. In fact, Bucky was nowhere to be seen. He was locked away separately from the soldiers and Steve had to find him fast. He began getting frantic as he ran down and searched every door and right when he was about to give up and just start screaming he skidded to a stop. There, coming out of a door-less room, was a man carrying a briefcase that made quick work in scurrying away when he saw him. Steve ran to the door, deciding following the man was a lost cause, and inside he couldn’t believe what he saw.

He had found Bucky. His best friend was strapped to a table and was muttering words and surrounded by devices that did not look to be meant for a doctor checkup and he looked worse for wear. His eyes were closed. Steve forced himself to stop shaking when he began unstrapping Bucky.

“Oh, my God, Bucky. Bucks, it’s me. It’s Steve,” his voice was surprisingly steady, even though he didn’t feel it.

Bucky cracked one eye open, as if fearing what he was going to see, and recognition quickly filled them when they saw exactly who it was, “Steve.”

“That’s right, come on,” Steve lifted him up, throwing one arm over his shoulder and using his own to hold Bucky by his waist in order to keep him stable. Bucky wobbled when he got on his two feet.

“Steve,” Bucky said again, pure shock evident on his face.

This time his voice had shaking in it, “I thought you were dead.”

Bucky had that all too familiar look on his face when Steve did something stupid, “I thought you were smaller.”

For the first time since the fair Steve gave a pure, honest, grin, “I joined the army.”

His best friend eyed him, looking him up and down and Steve, for a brief moment, forgot their situation and expected Tony to jump in and say “stop eyeing my boyfriend! Go find your own,” but his heart sank when he realized Tony wasn’t with them.

“Did it hurt?” Bucky asked afterwards.

“A little,” Steve refused to say just how much it truly hurt. Bucky didn’t need to know that. Neither did Tony.

“Is it permanent?”

“So far, now come on, we need to get out of here. The others must be outside waiting,” Steve began walking, half-carrying and half-leading Bucky to the door. They were about to pass it, inches away, when, out of nowhere, Bucky planted his legs down and stopped him.

“The others? Did you get Tony out?”

Those words - that simple question - sent Steve spiraling. He could have sworn he almost fainted from just hearing that. His mind was playing tricks on him. Bucky couldn’t have just asked him what he asked him. Tony was back in friendly soil. Locked away in a room for still believing to be a spy for the enemy. Steve and Bucky still needed to get him out. Tony couldn’t possibly be here.

This time there was an audible crack in his voice, “W-what?”

Bucky gave him a grim look, “Steve, Tony is here. He was with us when we got captured.”

“I didn’t see him,” panic set in. Tony was here. _Tony_ was _here_. And Steve hadn’t seen him.

“Come on, he must be in one of the other rooms. We need to search fast,” Bucky had switched to military, giving out orders which Steve was thankful for because at that moment he couldn’t think straight, let alone decided on what to do.

They searched the following areas, Bucky somehow knowing they were the only rooms left that had the possibility of having the genius in them. The grim look on his face never left and Bucky was mad with worry, if by the way he was yanking Steve forward had anything to say. Something must have happened during their capture. Bucky searched anxiously, almost desperately, for Tony. With Bucky by his side they managed to find one last room and by some horrid choice of fate and a miracle it was the room that was holding Tony. Steve nearly fell to his knees at the sight. Tony rested on a table similarly to how Bucky was, even wearing an army uniform, but he was strapped down with more holds than Bucky had. His arms and legs were completely tied down, no way of moving whatsoever. And his face, his beautiful young face, was bruised with dark circles and wrinkles and somehow, for the first time, Tony looked old, older than what his age was.

“Oh, God,” Steve broke down. “Tony… _Tony_.”

“Steve, help me with this!” somehow, while Steve was gaping at the sight of his lover, Bucky had walked to the table’s side and began fiercely unstrapping him. “Kid? Tony? It’s Bucky, come on, you’re alright.”

Steve ran to their side, desperately yanking at the straps while at the same time fighting back tears because _Tony_ was here, right in front of him, in pain, and looking a few shades away from death. “Tony, Tony.”

“Kid, wake up!”

With a gasp Tony’s eyes and mouth snapped open and he quickly began struggling and shaking his head while also managing to somehow bat their hands away, “No! No! Stop, no more! Please just stop!”

Steve’s heart shattered.

Bucky fought back against his struggling, “Tony! It’s us, it’s Steve and Bucky! Come on, Kid, you’re safe. You’re alright.”

The struggling stopped but Tony still turned his head away and clenched his eyes shut, “Stop… please... I can’t.”

Steve carefully reached for his face, fitting him between his now large hands, and rubbed circles with his thumbs right under the genius’ eyes and over his cheekbones, “Tony,” he felt Tony stiffen, “Tony, it’s really us. Open your eyes. Please, Tony.”

Tony did. He opened his beautiful, brown eyes and looked at Steve with hesitation and despair.

“That’s it, it’s me,” Steve leaned in so Tony could have a better view of his face, “it’s me.”

“Steve?” Tony sounded so young, so broken.

“That’s right, it’s your Steve. It’s your Steve and Bucky. We’re here.”

“Steve… Buck… what-?” Tony barely managed before closing his eyes again and going limp.

“We need to get out of here,” Bucky said firmly.

With the final strap released Steve quickly lifted the genius up, putting one arm under his knees and the other holding his back. Now with his new muscles he found he was fairly larger than Tony. His lover managed to fit in his arms perfectly and weighed almost nothing.

“I’ll keep lookout. Get moving,” Bucky ordered and ran ahead of him. Steve followed as fast as he could while trying not to shake Tony too much in his arms.

They managed to get a distance away from where Bucky and Tony were locked up, running on metal stairs that went higher and higher. The place was on fire now, creating what looked to be an image of a burning city below them as they climbed. There was an inferno at the bottom and one wrong step would send them falling to their death. Steve tightened his hold on Tony, not daring to risk his lover from slipping right out of his arms.

“Captain America, how exciting! I’m a great fan of your films,” a man Steve presumed was Schmidt mocked from their side, causing them to stop. He was crossing over a small bridge and walking closer and closer. Steve and Bucky took steps back. “So Dr. Erskine managed it after all. Not exactly an improvement, but still impressive.”

Then, to Steve’s horror, he looked right at Tony and grinned. Steve tried protecting the genius by hunching slightly in order to try and hide him. He wanted to do so much while revealing so little, but even his little adjustment was caught by the man. “You care for the boy, how fitting. Perhaps a disgrace more than an improvement.”

Steve wanted to punch him on the face but with Tony in his arms he wasn’t going to risk it. Instead he stood defensively, ready to run if necessary. Bucky hovered near him, slowly making his way to stand in-between Steve and Schmidt. Schmidt got closer, step by step, too busy playing a game of cat and mouse that he hadn’t expected Bucky to take the few final steps and punched him right on his face. The force was strong enough to send the man retreating before the bridge began retracting, taking him with it to the other side of the inferno.

“No matter what lies Erskine told you, you see I was his greatest success!”

Steve was glad Tony was currently unconscious. Anything to prevent him from witnessing what they saw when Schmidt literally yanked his skin right off his face to reveal the Red Skull. He was also very relieved that the color change hadn’t happened to him when he undergone Project Rebirth.

“You don’t have one of those, do you?” Bucky managed even under the intensity of the situation.

Schmidt went running, fleeing after he attempted a poor excuse of mockery. That was when Steve realized the door to escape the burning building that was starting to explode was on Schmidt’s side and their only hope to reach it was retracted back in place. Steve had Bucky and Tony to get out and he was not about to let them burn alive without a fight.

Spotting a chance he quickly adjusted Tony in his arms and ordered Bucky to follow him, “Up, hurry, get up.”

And then they ran into another problem. The piece of machinery that went across one side to the other was unstable, barely holding on by the sheer force of its own weight. It was not going to hold, especially not with three needing to pass over it. Steve and Bucky looked at each other and then at Tony still in his arms, unconscious and oblivious to their dilemma, and Steve found that, even though they were surrounded by danger and were inches away from going over and plummeting to their death, this was perhaps the happiest sight he had ever seen. Bucky and Tony were back with him. He had gotten the opportunity to see them again and even managed to touch Tony once more. He had come this far to save them and he was not going to let the job remain unfinished.

Even with the steel dangerously unstable it was still a chance to be saved, a chance to live, and they had to take it. Steve raised his shoulder in order to lift Tony’s head higher and he gave a gentle kiss on his forehead, “We’re almost there, Tony. Just hold on.”

He then looked to Bucky and offered him the genius, “You both go first.”

Bucky accepted without argument and without a fight. He nodded seriously before starting his incredibly slow, extremely dangerous, and heart-stopping walk across make-shift bridge. He gripped Tony’s body close to him, refusing to let his face wander away from touching his chest. Both their hearts stopped when the steel creaked and moved and caused Bucky to lean dangerously to the right.

“Bucky!”

Bucky refused to give in and fought against gravity to get back on balance. He took more steps forward, reaching the halfway mark of the bridge before the steel shifted again and this time cracked in half right under his feet. With a surge of adrenaline filled with fear, desperation and determination Bucky ran, he _ran_ , across what was left of the bridge and jumped, arms filled with genius and all, to the railing and managed to grab hold of stable steel. He had to let go of Tony’s legs in order to manage it but both he and the genius were safely on the other side and that was all that mattered.

Now it was Steve’s turn but there was nothing for him to use.

“Find me a rope or something!” Bucky shouted, gripping Tony close.

“Just go! Get out of here!” Steve ordered.

Bucky remained stubbornly in place, “No, not without you!”

Steve wanted to shout at his best friend, to get him going and get Tony out of the building, but Bucky was not going to move, and he knew that. If Tony was awake he would have probably done the same and refused to leave.

Quickly thinking Steve decided now was the perfect time to test just what his new body was capable of. He bended the rail so he could get a running start and, with his two goals within sight, he ran with all his might and jumped over the fire that engulfed the very air. Bucky and Tony waiting for him on the other side.

~~

 

Tony was still unconscious as they walked out of the building and followed the road back to friendly territory. Steve absolutely refused to let him go and he didn’t care if it looked odd to the other soldiers. It was probably a sight to see; Steve, a soldier that had stormed a building full of hostages alone and rescued them all singlehandedly, walking in front and leading them back to safety while holding a body of another soldier (Tony was wearing the army uniform, whether Steve liked it or not that was exactly what Tony looked like) closely in his arms. It was one thing to carry a wounded comrade; it was another to hold them as if they were going to disappear at any moment.

Steve didn’t care and if the other men wanted to say something about it, both the men following after him and Bucky and the men applauding their return, then they would have to go through his best friend. Bucky stuck close, glaring at those who dared to comment or even think of commenting about Steve carrying Tony. There was a protective tension coming off of him and once they got to safety Steve was going to demand exactly what had happened. He had so many questions. What had happened to them on the table? How did they end up captured? Why the hell was Tony there as well and why was he wearing a soldier’s uniform?

All those questions had to wait because they were reaching the camp and they got there just in time to hear Colonel Phillips berating Agent Carter for helping Steve cross over to enemy line.

“I can’t touch Stark, he’s rich and he’s the army’s number one weapons contractor. You are neither one!”

Steve watched as Agent Carter stood her ground, “With respect, Sir, I don’t regret my actions. And I don’t think Captain Rogers did either.”

“What makes you think I give a damn about your opinions? I took a chance with you, Agent Carter, and now America’s golden boy and a lot of other good men are dead, because you had a crush.”

Hearing that, both Steve and Bucky turned to look at each other. Bucky gave him a questioning expression while at the same time also managing to smirk with a quirked eyebrow, as if asking ‘What’s all this now? Steve, have you been busy?’

Steve, for his part, didn’t exactly know how that happened or what to do. Agent Carter had a crush on him? That was a tad bad thing to happen. Steve was taken and very much… in love with Tony. He refused to blush from hearing the revelation and from Bucky’s teasing. A little trickle of color still managed to get on his cheeks but to show it meant nothing more than a bit of shyness because he wasn’t used to hearing someone had a crush on him (besides from Tony, of course, but he had weeks to get used to it and had the privacy of their apartment to blush all he wanted) he gave Bucky a pointed look and flicked a gaze to Tony. He wanted to say ‘others may start liking me but the only one I want is Tony’ but because he couldn’t actually utter the words with the other soldiers surrounding them all he could manage was trying to send the message through body language.

From the way Bucky rolled his eyes but gave a fond smile Steve figured he got it.

Back to Colonel Phillips and Agent Carter, they managed to focus again on their conversation in time to hear Phillips say “Well, I hope that’s big comfort to you when they shut this division down.”

Steve, Bucky and the others walked up just as Colonel Phillips turned and spotted them, his previous expression of fury quickly changing to shocked surprise. His gaze landed on Steve, who walked up with Tony still in his arms, “I’d like to surrender myself for disciplinary action, but I ask to please acquire aid for Tony Rhodes.”

The Colonel looked at him and then at Tony and then at the soldiers all stacking up behind him, and then looked to him again. Something shifted and the hostility in the Colonel’s eyes vanished, “That won’t be necessary.”

Slight panic set in from not knowing what exactly Phillips was saying ‘won’t be necessary’ for, but then the Colonel shouted “Get medical over here now! I want them checking over this soldier ten minutes ago!”

Relief filled him up and a weight on his shoulders he didn’t know he had disappeared. Steve finally relaxed. “Thank you, Sir.” He shifted his arms to make it look as if he was adjusting Tony in his hold but in reality he was trying to hold him closer without making it obvious to the others. Bucky caught him and got closer in an attempt to distract wondering eyes on him instead.

Steve caught Agent Carter’s eyes. She was smiling proudly like she did before when he first started training. This time, however, the gaze held affection as well. A bit unsure on what to do Steve quickly looked away and instead placed his gaze on Tony. The genius was still unconscious but he was breathing and some color had returned to his face. Sometime during their walk his lips had parted and that gave Tony the image of a youngster sleeping soundly and comfortably in someone’s arms. Steve wanted to kiss those lips. He wanted a lot of things from Tony, to hold him, kiss him, protect him, but above all else he just wanted Tony to wake up and show him those big, beautiful, brown eyes.

He glanced over to Bucky. To his surprise he caught his friend staring at Agent Carter and for a brief moment he wanted to roll his eyes and smack him on his shoulder. Bucky, the ever womanizer that he was, couldn’t resist having a look. Bucky pulled his gaze away and turned to Steve, looking a bit impishly at having been caught. In order to distract from getting caught, Bucky went ahead and shouted for everyone’s attention, “Hey, let’s hear it for Captain America!”

Everyone around him applauded. And even though Agent Carter was still looking at him fondly and he couldn’t do anything to discourage the stare, Steve found it was perhaps one of the best moments of his life. With Bucky by his side and Tony in his arms, everything he cared about was right there with him.

However, he still needed answers, but that had to wait for Tony to wake up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look what we have here. We're almost there~ 
> 
> I apologize in advanced if I'm setting this up to be dramatic only for you to be disappointed once we get there. I'm not very good at writing sad scenes. 
> 
> No beta. All mistakes mine. Hope you still enjoy!


	5. The Fallen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The moment we've been waiting for. Tell me what you think.

Tony remained asleep long after medical checked him. For someone who looked to have suffered through torture the genius was surprisingly unscathed. The evident bruises on his face and a few scrapes here and there on his arms were the only notable worry. Everything else, internal bleeding or infection or broken bones, was none existing. The only true worry was how exhausted he was. The bags under his eyes were not just there for decoration to show how dramatic his imprisonment was. Tony had gone days without proper sleep. Bucky had as well but on his tan face, compared to Tony’s pale, it wasn’t as visible.

The genius was cleared to leave the medical tent that very night and was taken to rest in Steve and Bucky’s shared tent. Steve never left his side. Colonel Phillips had given them a day's worth rest and Steve spent it sitting next to Tony’s bed and holding his hand.

Bucky joined him as soon as he was finished being checked and cleared to fight. He pulled a chair and placed it next to Steve’s when he entered and they both stared expectantly at the unconscious genius, hoping he would open his eyes the moment they were there together. He didn’t. Tony continued sleeping and Steve was glad for it. It meant he was finally having a proper night sleep. Bucky needed one, too, now that Steve saw him and was cleared. He told him so but Bucky shook his head.

“Not ready to sleep yet. We have a lot to talk about.”

Steve sighed. They did have a lot to talk about. Not just from Bucky getting captured and discovering Tony was with him, but on Steve’s part as well. Seeing each other again with Steve having a whole new body and enlisted in the army after getting rejected so many times was something that needed to be explained, and Bucky was not going to leave without an answer.

Now was a matter of who was going to go first.

“After you left with the two dames at the fair Dr. Erskine offered me a chance to enlist and be part of this project that I’m not actually supposed to talk about,” Steve started because he owed Bucky that, considering he had an idea of what Bucky was going to say when he explained his end of the story.

“Then don’t talk about it. Explain what happens next,” Bucky said in a lower tone, not wanting to wake up the sleeping genius.

Steve did the same and lowered his voice as well, “If you’ve seen my videos then you’ll know I performed and entertained for the sake of selling bonds. It was the only thing I could do to help in the war. The show came over here and Agent Carter went to see me-” Bucky grinned his grin at that. Steve whacked him on his shoulder in retaliation, “she went to see my performance and told me about what happened to the one-oh-seventh. Nothing else happened.”

Bucky’s grin was still in place but otherwise said nothing and that was a cue for Steve to continue.

“I came here and asked the Colonel about it, went against his orders and got Agent Carter and Stark to take me over enemy line. I infiltrated the building and found you and the others and the rest you were there to see,” Steve finished with a shrug.

Bucky lost his grin and took in the information with a blank face that remained in place for a whole ten seconds before finally shaking his head in exasperation and throwing his body against the seat, going limp. “Why couldn’t you just sit still? Why did you have to go and get experimented on and become this?” he gestured at Steve’s muscles.

“Because you know how I am, Buck. I couldn’t just let you go on your own. And then Tony got taken and I just had to do something.”

“Yeah, yeah of course you had to do something,” Bucky looked back at the genius and grabbed the edges of the blanket to tug it further up and tuck him in, mindful not to cover the arm and hand that was being held by Steve.

Silence filled the tent. The blond sat patiently for his best friend to start on the subject they both knew was the real reason for this. Bucky began by taking a deep breath and saying “Tony showed up one day out of nowhere. A week after we arrived. We didn’t get a notice or anything, he just showed up with that jerk grin of his and a busted lip and bruised ribs. Walked right up and asked if he missed anything important and where the food was.”

Steve pushed forward to listen better, “He didn’t say anything about how or why he got there?”

“He was escorted by high-end soldiers and we got the orders to never let him leave our sight. He said he struck a deal to get him there, joined the army in exchange for not getting locked up. I don’t know how exactly he managed that and he wouldn’t talk about it beyond ‘agreeing to serve instead of sitting on my ass doing absolutely nothing,’” Bucky imitated in his best Tony impression.

“All I knew for sure is that the kid ended up joining the army without any identification and papers. The bastard found a way in,” Bucky chuckled mirthlessly and looked to Steve, “I sent you a letter to tell you about him. Probably a bad decision to do ‘cause you would’ve ended up swimming across the ocean for all I know trying to get to us. But I didn’t want you worrying yourself sick about him.”

“Thank you,” knowing that Bucky attempted to contact him with news about Tony, even though it would’ve backfired on him in trying to keep Steve away from the war, eased Steve greatly. Bucky wanted him safe and free of worry but he still knew when to share important information, no matter the consequences.

“Don’t thank me yet,” Bucky bit back, taking Steve off guard. The grim look from before when he first revealed Tony was present came back but this time there was a mix of guilt in it. “When he showed up, Steve, I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t want you there and I was sure he wasn’t going to be able to sign up, but then his dumbass appeared and I just… lost it. I wanted you both far away from this and I came here confident that you both were safe, and yet this punk just walks in like nothing and starts picking fights with the other men the moment he looks at them. I got angry. God, Steve, he took everything as a joke and I just couldn’t stand it. I wanted to hurt him so he could realize it wasn’t a game. I said things to him, about his relationship with you, about how he was too young to appreciate what he had, about how we could die right then and there and never see you again...”

Steve took in how stricken Bucky’s face looked. There was so much raw emotion. The guilt, the shame, the anger. He got the general idea of what Bucky might have said to Tony. The guilt said it all. If Tony couldn’t take being a soldier in a war seriously then how was he going to take having a relationship with him seriously? He felt a sizzle of anger build up from using his relationship as an example but Steve didn’t hold it against Bucky. His best friend was overprotective and when things went out of control, or he wasn’t prepared for what was to come, he tended to go overboard. Steve could bet Bucky immediately tried apologizing in his own way after saying those things to the unconscious genius.

“You promised yourself you were going to protect him no matter what, didn’t you?” Steve asked, knowing the answer already.

“He wasn’t the youngest there,” Bucky revealed, “He wasn’t the youngest but, goddammit, he looked it. Everyone thought he was sixteen. Everyone. He was the shortest and smallest in that block. He looked like a kid holding a gun and fighting in a battle he shouldn’t be a part of.” Steve took notice of how Bucky’s hands were clenched, turning his knuckles white. “We were upfront, the first to battle when we got attacked. The idiot didn’t run in headfirst, a miracle. He stuck close to me and we managed to hold our ground together. He can fight, Steve,” a small smile appeared, one that didn’t reach his eyes. “The little punk can hold his own with a gun. We still got captured, but we were alive.”

“Bucky,” Steve paused, “what happened to you and Tony? What did they do?”

“Hell if I know,” Bucky gave a mirthless laugh that was on the verge of sadistic. “They injected us with things. Held us down for days. I lost count of how many. We were testing animals for whatever they were trying to do. Kept us separated but I still heard his screams and he heard mine,” his face went pale at the memories. “They did worse to him. I don’t know what they were giving him but it wasn’t what I was getting. He screamed the loudest. The whole damn building heard him. I couldn’t _do anything._ I was right there and I…”

With dread and concern in his chest Steve reached out and put a gentle hand on Bucky’s arm, trying to show his support through the small gesture. “Is it anything lethal, what they injected you both with? What did medical say?”

“Nothing,” Bucky shrugged after regaining his color and bearings. “They didn’t say anything and found nothing wrong. Whatever they gave us is not going to cause us to drop dead any time soon.”

“Don’t talk like that.”

Bucky looked apologetic and paused, “You know what kept us going?” Steve shook his head, “what kept us going was something the Kid said. Every single time when we were alone, every time, he would say ‘Steve will show up any minute and come save us. Keep holding on, Old Man. He’ll come and then we can inject these bastard’s asses with this stuff.’”

A stunned silence followed. Tony said that? Tony believed Steve would rescue them from their hold?

“I went with it, for the sake of keeping his spirit up. Maybe you would have showed up to come and get us. Found a way to sneak inside and set us free, but you were across the ocean and you had no way to fight. There was no possible way you could have come to get us,” Bucky turned his head and looked right at Steve with that expression of his that said ‘Oh, look, there goes my blood pressure up again because of you.’ “Imagine my surprise when I wake up and see you standing there. Everything the Kid said turned out to be true. Who would’ve thought it.”

“You should have more faith in me like he does,” Steve said as an attempted joke but didn’t exactly reach it.

“I’ll get the faith once he wakes up and I’m not death on legs,” Bucky sighed and rested his head on the bed.

“You’re talking like Tony, again,” Steve smiled. It was odd. That exact saying was something that would only come out of Tony’s mouth. The genius had rub off on them, gotten them to talk in his manner of speaking on more than one occasion.

“Don’t tell him. He hasn’t let me live it down from the last time and he’s never going to let me forget it.”

“He’ll never let us both forget it. Just something else he can use.”

“He’s just lucky we like him.”

Steve gave the small hand he was holding a gentle squeeze before pushing himself forward to place another kiss on his lover’s forehead. He muttered a “Get a good night’s rest, yeah?” before returning back down and looking expectantly at Bucky.

His best friend frowned, “Don’t look at me. I ain’t kissing him.”

The blond snorted. “Go to sleep, Buck. You really need it.”

“Saying I’m in desperate need of beauty sleep?”

“That’s exactly it. You’re turning into Tony.”

“Just don’t jump my bones while I’m out cold,” Bucky got up, gave Steve a hug and walked over to his own bed.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Steve finished with a chuckle, rubbing his thumb over the smooth skin of the hand he held. More than anything he wanted to sleep by Tony’s side, or at least continue holding his hand even if it meant sleeping with a killer cramp in the morning, but he couldn’t risk the others walking in their tent and catching the action. Who knew what kind of trouble he or Tony would be in if that happened. Anything violent Steve wasn’t going to stand there and let happen but even though he had gotten the Colonel’s approval and earned respect he still didn’t have the rank or power to do what he pleased, especially if any homophobic higher ups caught wind of the relationship and ordered to separate Steve and Tony.

Steve may be a supersoldier now but even he couldn’t fight against the US army.

With one final squeeze of the now smaller hand in his he tucked the blanket over it and paced to his bed. With his best friend and his lover only a few steps away from him Steve ended up falling asleep contently, getting the first restful sleep in months.

When he woke up hours later he woke up with a jolt. It might have been the first restful sleep in many nights but his waking wasn’t as peaceful. In the remnants of what he figured was a dream, he couldn’t remember what it involved but he had the clear image of Bucky’s and Tony’s faces looking right at him as if he was lying on the ground and they facing down on him. Their faces were blank of expressions, just soullessly staring, until a shift occurred and out of nowhere Agent Carter appeared in between them, Tony taking up the right, Bucky the left and her the center. At the same time Bucky and Tony smiled simultaneously as she appeared, the only difference in their smiles being Tony’s lips separating caused a string of blood to drip down from the corner of his mouth and down his chin.

He jumped up similarly to the first time he had a nightmare about them and frantically searched the tent for reassurance that they were still present, safe, very much alive and not bleeding. Bucky was sound asleep and snoring on his bed and Tony was still exactly the way he was when they brought him from medical. Shaking, he got up and walked passed Bucky, giving him a gentle touch on his arm before heading for Tony, taking his previous seat that was still there and pulling back the side of the covers to grasp his small hand. He lowered himself so his forehead rested on the stiff material of the bed and closed his eyes, willing his heart and mind to calm down.

He remained in place long after his body had relaxed. He figured from the sounds of early birds chirping through the times of war and the heavy stomps of muddy boots walking outside the tent it was the early morning, even though the light of the sun still hadn’t made itself present. It was getting there, what from the way the tent’s blue material was slowly starting to glow, but not enough to encourage him to get up. He continued to hold the small hand, rubbing circles on the calluses on them without looking. He listened intently to the morning noises of men walking and tents flapping from the wind and the sound of an engine starting that were within hearing range of his enhanced ears, mindful to be prepared to release the hand in case anyone barged in their tent. And then the small hand squeezed his own and tried yanking back, attempting to bring his hand closer.

Steve snapped his head up and came to the sight of big brown eyes looking beautifully back at him. He might have reacted with hastiness by jumping on his feet with enough force to send the chair flying to the other side of the tent and looming over the genius without thinking of any consequences, but he hadn’t seen his boyfriend in months and had just found out the day before that he was being held against his will and experimented. Forgive him for reacting rashly from the joy of seeing him awake.

“Tony,” he breathed, his voice dripping with relief that even his own ears heard it.

Tony eyed him cautiously, not daring to hope what he was seeing was real and it pulled at Steve’s heart seeing his lover hesitate and showing fear. “Is this real, or is it another dream? Because if it is I want you to go away already. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t… I’m too tired,” Tony rasped.

“It’s real, Tony. It’s real,” Steve leaned down and kissed his forehead, Tony flinching from the action. “I’m real. You’re safe now.”

The genius looked at him as if he didn’t want to believe, didn’t want to have hope rise only to be shot down. Steve stood as still as he could, not daring to spook the genius and refusing to move away. He gave reassuring smiles and a gentle squeeze of the hand, doing what he could to prove he was real, and then, as if a dam had broken, Tony took a sharp intake of breath that was on the verge of a sob and his eyes became glossier. Without warning the genius shot his arms out and wrapped them around Steve’s neck and shoulders, clutching him tightly.

“Please be real,” he muffled on Steve’s shoulder.

Steve circled his arms around the now smaller figure, bringing Tony against his chest and holding him close. The only parts of their bodies not touching being their hips and legs. “I’m real, Tony. I’m real. I have you.”

A chuckle mixed with a sob and Steve knew Tony finally believed him. Unable to resist he pulled back his head just enough and planted kiss after kiss on the dark locks on top Tony’s head. He left a trail that led down to Tony’s ear and then his jaw and when he reached his soft cheek that had the makings of a stubble he stopped and assaulted the cheekbone with kisses, eventually pushing Tony enough to place kisses on top one of his eyelids.

Tony remain still and allowed it to happen until finally he managed to pull enough of himself together to return the caring gesture and aimed right for Steve’s mouth. They didn’t take it further than a simple lip on lip contact, and for that moment that was all they really needed.

“Steve,” Tony mouthed Steve’s neck, placing gentle pecks on the soft skin by the side of his adam's apple.

“Tony,” Steve rested his chin over the brunette’s head.

Then, Tony stopped and began tracing Steve’s body with his hands. Steve knew immediately what Tony was noticing, “Did you take shots of steroids, Steve? Damn.”

Steve was pushed away so the genius could get a better look of his body and from the way Tony’s eyes were drinking in every detail and almost looked like he was drooling it was obvious he was enjoying the view a tad too much.

“Woof,” Tony said huskily.

From that the blond’s face lit up, the heat reaching down his neck.

“I thought you were hot before, but wow, Steve.”

Steve moaned in embarrassment, “Tony... _Tony!_ ” he squeaked when roaming hands grabbed his rear and gave a squeeze.

“Are those _real_? Oh, my God, Steve. Steve, Steve, Babe, you are far too hot. Great deity of the sky am I dreaming? Steve, I need sex, like now. Oh, my Go- wait, you’re hotter now. You’re still my boyfriend, right? You didn’t end up sleeping with a group of ladies or men now that you have this body and can get whoever you want, right?” Tony, from all his joking, actually looked serious and very worried with the last question. As if he truly believed Steve would leave him the first moment he could and find someone better.

Steve reached back and yanked away the wandering hands to hold them in-between him and his ridiculous lover. “No, Tony I didn’t go and shared a bed with anyone. Yes, I’m still your boyfriend, unless you’re breaking up with me?”

“No!” the brunette nearly shouted.

The blond supersoldier gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “Then there’s your answer. I’m not going to hunt for better when I have the best right here with me already. You liked me before this change. That’s all I care about. Anyone else will only like me because of my body.”

“And for good reason,” Tony piped in, doing an exaggerated check of Steve’s new physique.

“I’m trying to be serious here,” Steve sighed.

The genius wrapped his arms around the now broad shoulders. “I know you are. Sorry, I still think this is some sort of dream and I’ll be waking up any minute.”

“I’m not dream. I’m the real deal.”

“You’re talking like me, again,” he chuckled before inhaling deeply and whispering “You’re really here. God, I love you so much.”

Steve almost couldn’t believe he had heard what he heard, but with his enhanced hearing there was no way he could have mistaken it. Tony had truly said it. Tony had said what Steve always hoped he would one day say. And he said it before Steve did.

His heart fluttered and his face broke out with a smile. Steve circled his arms around the genius’ back and practically lifted him off the bed. “I love you, too.”

Saving his legs from being half lifted and twisting in an odd angle Tony wrapped them around Steve's waist and held onto him like a koala. He laughed when the blond started pampering him with kisses again and eagerly returned the favor.

“Are you serious? We’ve barely reunited again and you both are already trying to get in each other’s pants? Couldn’t you have waited until I was awake and on the other side of this camp before you started?”

Steve turned his body with a clinging genius so they could both look at Bucky who was now awake, sitting up with his legs dangling at the side of the bed and giving them as best of a glare as he could with his hair tousled and his eyes still heavy with sleep. Both of them grinned cheekily at him.

“Sorry, Bucks,” Steve said.

“I’m not,” countered Tony. “I have my boyfriend back and I’m going to enjoy every minute of it, whether you’re awake to see it or not.”

Bucky groaned and covered his eyes. “I liked you better when you were asleep.”

Steve knew for a fact that was a lie, especially since they had this conversation last night. If anything it was the exact opposite of the truth. To help them have their reassurance he walked over to Bucky, genius still clinging to him and all, and sat next to him. Bucky tried grimacing at them being so close but all three of them knew it was a lacking attempt. Bucky was just as happy as they were for being together again and their point was proven when the grumpy brunette reached out a hand and gingerly placed it on the genius’ shoulder.

The smile Tony gave him was soft and content. “Good to see you’re in one piece, Old Man.”

Bucky grinned. “Shut up, you Brat.”

~~

 

Much to Steve’s dismay they ended up going to a bar with Tony tagging along, and while they were all in desperate need for drinks after what they’ve been through Tony looked far too underage (he was nineteen, if you believed what he said) and it did not help in even attempting to get a chance by lying. He just looked so young, something many of the other men kept pointing out when they saw the odd sight of Steve and Bucky sitting with drinks in their hands and a child besides them. Of course the men knew exactly who Tony was, so really they were pointing it out just to spite the genius.

“I’m nineteen, you assholes,” Tony barked for maybe the eleventh time that night.

“Sure don’t look it,” Bucky muttered in his cup, his lips tilting upward even though he was attempting to stop himself from grinning.

From the other room next to them there was a roar of laughter from the other soldiers cracking jokes. Steve had a suspicion one of those jokes involved Tony, considering he heard the words “kid,” “old enough to drink,” and “little fireball.” And from how Tony leaned his head back to look to the other room through the door he knew the genius heard them, too.

“Nineteen! You -” Tony cut himself off, trying to find the perfect words but unable to and gave up, throwing his arms in defeat and slamming his head against the wooden surface of the counter. He reached blindly for the drink in Steve’s hand, which Steve quickly moved away before he could grasp.

“No, Tony.”

“Come on, Steeeeve. I really need it.”

“No, Tony,” Steve repeated and brought the cup to his lips.

“You’re evil. Pure evil. Tempting me and teasing me with both the drink and your body and giving me neither.”

The blond choked and abruptly pulled away his cup in order to avoid spilling it from his fit of coughs. Bucky and Tony patted his back.

“You know it’s bad when I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even care what you both say anymore,” Bucky took another swing, not in the slightest looking at them.

Steve took a particularly painful swallow when his coughing stopped and glared at Tony, who was giving him a wide puppy-eyed look and eyeing his drink. “Please, Steve? Just one sip.”

Steve felt his resolve slipping from the look. It had been months since he last saw those eyes and all he wanted to do was please the person they belonged to. Hold him close and give him everything he wanted just to see his smile and make him happy. He stayed firmed.

“Bucky?” Tony went for his last resort -

“Not going to happen.”

\- and was shot down.

“Come oooon. I just want one sip. I’m practically begging for this stuff and I’ve had better than what this place sells,” Tony retorted to whining.

“Then go and drink that stuff instead of nagging our ears off,” Bucky took another drink, pulling the cup away with a loud ‘pop’ of his lips in exaggeration for Tony’s benefit.

“I hate you both.”

“No you don’t,” an exaggerated swallow.

“I hate you so much right now.”

“Love ya, too, Brat.”

“Steeeve,” Tony whined one last time, throwing those big, glossy eyes at Steve. The blond stood strong for a total of seven seconds but then those eyes somehow grew impossibly wider and he finally gave in, sighing as he handed the cup to Tony. The genius took it excitedly and said “Thank you, Stevie. You’re my hero,” before taking a long drink and sighing contently. “I’m all yours tonight.”

Surprisingly, Steve didn’t blush or react in any way. Instead he simply placed his elbow on the counter and rested his chin on his hand and stared lovingly at the genius, his smile large and playful. Tony didn’t notice at first, his drink distracting him, but once he pulled away from it Steve’s gaze became obvious and he tried ignoring the intensity of Steve’s blue eyes. As the stare lasted longer the genius began fidgeting a little until he just started looking around the place in an attempt to hide. When his brown eyes locked to blue again and they held he blushed out of nowhere in embarrassment, much to Steve’s delight.

This was a little technique Steve learned overtime that always resulted in his lover blushing cutely. For all of Tony’s blatant admiring, when it came to someone admiring _him_ for a change, and in a caring manner (not in the manner that only suggested they were attractive enough to have a tussle in bed once or twice but nothing further) he actually didn’t know how to handle it and grew timid and self-conscious, wanting nothing more than to find a distraction and hide away from the gaze.

Steve loved these moments where he could show just how much he cared for the brunette and prove he deserved every moment for as long as it lasted. He didn’t know what Tony grew up with in his earlier years for him to never experience it but he vowed to do it as often as possible and show beyond a doubt to Tony he was worth staring adoringly at.

“Steeeve,” Tony complained, covering half his face with his hand, his now short army-styled hair no longer able to cover his red ears.

Steve fell in love all over again. “You’re so beautiful,” he said low enough for no one to hear but Tony and Bucky. The genius hunched his shoulders and lowered his head in an attempt to hide using the counter.

From his side he felt Bucky shuffle and stand. Curious, Steve searched for whatever his friend was looking at that caused him to openly admire with a gob smacked expression. What he came upon was Agent Carter standing by the door with a beautiful red dress that framed her perfectly and gave her an intense atmosphere. All the men in the establishment were staring with their mouths open except for two, Tony and himself. Even though he was taken, Steve had to admit she looked stunning, and if he had been single at that moment he would easily imagine having a relationship with her and starting a perfect family life later on.

Out of respect he stood as well, gaining Tony’s attention and also causing him to look and stand. Being the closest to the door the genius moved a little to stand in-between them. Agent Carter gingerly made her way to them, staring right at Steve and never averting her gaze. Steve returned the stare but didn’t have the same meaning behind it. It was mostly out of reverence. He felt Tony lean closer to him in a manner that looked like a casual move but in fact was Tony getting possessive and slightly jealous. Steve angled his arm to touch back and reassure his lover.

“Captain,” she said with a soft tone.

“Agent Carter,” Steve answered with a nod.

“Ma’am,” Bucky added, gearing up to play his moves while Tony didn’t say anything, staring at her intently.

Agent Carter acknowledged them both with a quick glance before returning her eyes to Steve. “Howard has some equipment for you to try. Tomorrow morning.”

Steve felt Tony flinch at the name, proving some of his earlier thoughts about Stark somehow being related to him, or at least present in Tony’s earlier years, correct. His fingers itched to hold his lover’s hand and sooth whatever mental affliction he had away.

“Sounds good.”

She turned away to look out the door and at the other men piling in the room. Steve took the moment to share a gaze with Tony before switching his eyes to Bucky, catching his best friend absorbing the fine details of the agent. Bucky looked back at him when he felt someone staring and Steve couldn’t resist quirking an eyebrow while lifting the corners of his lips up and shaking his head in a teasing manner. His best friend was going to have to work hard if he wanted a small chance at gaining her attention.

She looked back at them, “I see your top squad are prepping for duty.”

Steve saw the opening a mile away and knew Bucky was going to jump at the chance. And surprise, surprise, his best friend did.

“You don’t like music?”

“I do, actually,” she answered, her eyes still on Steve. “I might, even when this is all over, go dancing.”

Unable to hold his gaze without it meaning more than respect, Steve averted his eyes quickly and looked to Bucky first before landing his eyes on Tony, who was staring at Bucky and fighting the urge to not tease him just yet. He really needed to tell Agent Carter that he was unavailable. Leading her on like this was simply cruel, even when he didn’t mean for it to go this far. He hadn’t realized it was even happening. Sure he knew the flirting signs (thanks to Tony) but he figured she would stop after a while when he didn’t reciprocate. He was wrong. He would have to talk to her soon.

Steve watched as Bucky put on a flirtatious smile and said “Then what are we waiting for?”

He dared to look at Agent Carter and was relieved to find she had turned her head and was looking at Bucky instead. “The right partner.” She faced him again but this time her gaze had shifted. It wasn’t the same stare she had been using since she passed through the door. “Oh-eight-hundred, Captain.”

Steve couldn’t be too sure, but he swore he heard a cold tone in her voice. “Yes, Ma’am. I’ll be there.”

When was gone Bucky looked at Steve and Tony in question. “Was I shot down? Or was there a possible yes in there?”

“Pretty sure you were shot down,” Tony said. “What happened to that game you always talk about having? I’m not impressed.”

“Shut up, Brat.”

“You’re going to have to try a bit harder with Agent Carter, Buck. She’s a tough one that can throw you to the ground,” Steve said as they sat back on their stools.

“Or you could just be Steve. Looks like she has her eyes on him,” Tony took a drink of their forgotten beverages, finishing Steve’s cup and snatching Bucky’s.

“That’s mi - you owe me another drink, you little -”

“Tony,” Steve interrupted Bucky’s rant, “you know I’d never -”

“I know,” Tony interrupted this time, “I know you can’t help others staring at your sexy body now, but maybe this very hot lady with dimples will appear or a muscular guy with the strong chin and then you’ll figure out you could do better and upgrade to -”

“As if Steve would ever leave you,” Bucky snorted. “I’d be lucky if the idea even crossed his mind - _ow_! - _Steve_!”

Even after hitting him on the back of his head, Steve had to agree with what his best friend was saying. “Bucky’s right, Tony. I’ll never leave you like that. Maybe if _you_ decide to leave me for someone else, or we get into an argument about whose turn it is to do the laundry, but I won’t leave you for a downgrade.”

“Wait, you’ll seriously break up with me over _laundry_?” Tony asked scandalized.

“You do steal my socks a lot.”

“I lose mine! I swear my socks grow sentient and just walk away to never be seen again.”

Bucky groaned in annoyance. “Are you both just going to sit there and fight over socks? I’m not drunk enough for this domesticity.”

“Shut up, Bucky,” they said simultaneously.

~~~

 

There was a bustle of activity where Steve waited for Agent Carter to come retrieve him and check the equipment Stark wanted him to see. He didn’t think much of just simply waiting innocently until then. He figured once looking at the equipment was done he was going to head back and spend the rest of the day with Tony, unless something came up that he needed to look after. What he hadn’t expected while he was waiting was to see Private Lorraine and get backed up against the wall with her pinning him and, alright, her arm was roaming his chest and that felt completely odd because the face connected to that hand didn’t have the brown eyes and brown hair of Tony.

“Read about what you did,” she batted her lashes.

Where was Bucky or Tony when he needed them? He could really do with rescuing right then. “Oh! The...yeah, Well, that's, you know? Just doing what needed to be done.”

She leaned in closer. “Sounded like more than that. You saved nearly four hundred men.”

It didn’t sound more than that, really. His best friend and his lover were in that group of men. Steve would have done everything he could, supersoldier or not, to get them out of there. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Tell that to their wives.”

Steve blinked. “They’re not all married,” unless Bucky ended up marrying behind his back without inviting him to the wedding and be the best man, he was pretty sure they weren’t all married. Tony, well, unless he found a way to marry two men together and did so without even letting Steve know of his own marriage… that would’ve been a feat.

“You’re a hero.”

Did she just get closer? Not-at-all Tony was getting too close for Steve’s comfort. “That depends on the definition of it really.”

Boldness flashed in her eyes and he knew what that meant. She was about to kiss him. “The women of America, they owe you their thanks. And uh...seeing as they're not here.”

The roaming hand of hers grabbed his tie and tried to yank him towards her but Steve refused to move and gently grasped the hand to pull it away. He held it in a friendly manner and gave her an apologetic smile. “Sorry, Ma’am. You’re a swell person, I’m sure, but I’m already spoken for. As long as the women of America are happy that’s good enough for me.”

She huffed, “You are? There hasn’t been anything about a woman for you.”

“I’m making enemies left and right. I’d rather nobody knew to keep them safe.”

Private Lorraine’s face scrunched up in annoyance and she glared at something behind him. Steve turned and managed to see Agent Carter just as Private Lorraine asked “Is it her? Is she your gal, then?”

Mentally sputtering, Steve couldn’t correct her statement in time before she turned and marched away. He made his way to Agent Carter and had the denial ready on his lips but she stopped him, “We're ready for you, Captain.”

Peggy eyed him with hope, telling Steve she was waiting for either a confirmation or a rejection to Private Lorraine’s last question. He had no choice now. He was going to have to answer her. No more dancing around it.

“Agent Carter, it’s not what you think.”

The response was immediate. Her smile vanished and her eyes became guarded.

“I’m sorry. I should have said something sooner, but I didn’t want -” he waved his hands helplessly, not knowing how exactly to word it. “I have someone waiting for me.”

She blinked a couple of times. “You have someone waiting for you… you’re spoken for, then?” He nodded. “So you found yourself a little crumpet while traveling and became the soldier you’ve wanted to be.”

The harshness in her words pushed him back. She was lashing out from anger and making herself the bad guy, but she didn’t know the truth. Steve wasn’t going to let her do that to herself. “I was spoken for long before I joined the army. Been together for almost a year before I left. I’m not sorry that I don’t announce it for the world to know. You must understand I have enemies now and I don’t want anything to happen to them because of me. I am sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner, though. I’m not used to having attention of the attractive kind, since I wasn’t exactly a catch before the serum, and I don’t know how to handle it well.”

Her eyes were still guarded and her tone had leftover anger in them, but she nodded in understanding and gave a soft, if a little down, smile. “You’ll be hearing from me for not revealing this sooner, Captain. I’m not fond of being played a fool.”

“That was not my intent.”

“Be that as it may, it still happened.”

Steve accepted it. He did, after all, led her on, even though he didn’t do it on purpose. He could have prevented it from going further than a simple notice of another person, but he didn’t. “I am sorry, Agent Carter. I know it’s my fault for not saying anything and I accept that. I hope we can still be…” be what? Be friends? Were they ever truly anything besides acquaintances? “I hope we can be friends.”

She stared him down, pursing her red lips in thought, “Peggy.”

“Pardon?”

“Friends of mine call me Peggy.”

“Peggy,” Steve repeated with a toothy grin.

Her eyes softened a fraction, barely noticeable to the untrained eye. “This gal of yours, Captain, she saw in you before the serum?”

 _Did she fall for your small and fragile physique before you became Captain America?_ Steve mentally translated. The thought of first meeting Tony and how he openly flirted with him even though he wasn’t exactly the most attractive fella out there. And how he would always call Steve handsome and cute and would always cuddle when they shared their bed and whispered how beautiful his skinny body was. Thinking about this, Steve knew his face probably had a love-sick expression on it.

And Peggy caught it because she shook her head fondly. “She’s a lucky gal with a good eye.”

He chuckled at the idea of Tony being a gal and having a good eye. He couldn’t wait to tell him. “Yes.”

Peggy gestured to the hall. “Shall we?”

A weight lifted off his shoulders now that Peggy knew about his situation and he found the idea of having her as a possible close friend was rather nice. She was a fierce dame who knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to get it and Steve was lucky that she even considered the idea of being friends even after having embarrassed her. And even as she shot him and he had to protect himself with the vibranium shield to avoid having bullets imbedded in his head he found he couldn’t hold it against her, especially when he saw her satisfied smirk that meant they were even now.

~~~

 

“Holy shit, Steve. Holy - shield, it’s - it’s _the_ \- an _awesome_ shield,” Tony said as he held the vibranium shield on his lap and ran a hand over the surface. His eyes were wide with amazement and looked on the verge of passing out from the excitement. He clung to the shield as if it was the greatest thing ever created.

“It is an incredible shield,” Steve agreed, a bit confused and surprised for Tony’s enthusiasm on the item.

“You don’t understand! It’s - It’s _the_ shield. It’s..,” Tony paused, a thought going through his mind, “...made of awesome steel. _Awesome steel_ , Steve.”

Steve took notice of the difference in tone at the end of the sentence. The last part didn’t have the same excitement as the parts that mentioned the shield, meaning the vibranium excuse was a lie. But why would Tony lie about the reason why he was so happy to have the shield in his arms? Why was he so happy in the first place? “I’m going to use this shield to fight against Hydra.”

Tony eyed the shield in wonder again, “Do it. Paint it red, white and blue.”

Steve shook his head fondly and sat down next to the genius on his bed. “Go pure American?”

“Hell yeah, go full patriotic on their asses. We’ll kick Nazi ass together.”

In an instant Steve’s body froze up and his heart skipped a beat. Together? Surely Tony wasn’t thinking about joining the fight.

“Hey, no, I know that body seizing anywhere. I’m going with you and Buck and I’m going to fight. You’re crazy if you think for a moment I’ll be left behind while you both go out there. I was almost left behind once, I’m not letting it happen again,” Tony finished with a glare, as if daring Steve to object.

He still tried, “Tony no, it’s too dangerous -”

“Hate to break this to you, Babe, but I’ve sort of been in dangerous situations for the past couple of months,” the genius deadpanned. “I got put through a training course and probably lost pounds because of it. I already fought against Hydra, got captured and experimented on by them and I’m ready to return the favor. Bucky went through the same thing and he gets to go.”

“That’s different.”

“How so?” Tony challenged, and when Steve gave no answer, scrambling to think of one, the brunette continued. “Is it because he’s Bucky? Because he’s not your boyfriend he gets to fight with you? Or is it because I look fucking sixteen even though I’m actually _nineteen_.”

“Tony -”

“I know, I know,” he raised a hand to stop the blond, “language. Sorry, it’s just frustrating having everyone keep saying that. I look it, but I’m _not_. Wish everyone would get that in their heads already.”

Steve leaned down to kiss his temple, “I know you’re not, otherwise I wouldn’t have a relationship with you. The idea of dating a minor isn’t exactly appealing.”

“Won’t stop me from tempting you. I’d find a way, trust me.”

“That’s not really reassuring.”

“I’m nineteen. I swear.”

Steve kissed him again. “I believe you.”

“Good. Makes it easier for me,” Tony leaned his head to the kiss, sighing contently. “Answer my question already. Why don’t you want me to fight?”

He wrapped an arm around the smaller shoulders and gaze a squeeze, tucking the head under his chin and nuzzling the dark locks. “I don’t want to see you hurt again. You or Bucky, but you the most. I barely handled looking at you unconscious on that table. I don’t want to see you like that again.”

“You can’t stop things from happening to me,” the genius murmured.

“I can try.”

“And I can fight alongside you. You can’t stop me. I’ll follow you no matter what so you can either let me walk next to you or you’re going to have to send a search party for my body because I’ll eventually get lost following you guys. I know my way around weapons and cars but surviving out in the wilderness not so much. I’ll starve within the first ten minutes.”

“That’s ridiculous. I’ve had to force you to eat each time you were focused on jobs and gone nearly an entire day without eating.” It was true, on more than one occasion Steve found himself pulling his lover away from the car shop and almost force feed him food. Tony had this nasty habit of forgetting required sustenance when he was focused on something.

“Actually, I’ve lasted almost two whole days without eating once. It was a new record.”

Steve frowned, even though Tony couldn’t see it. “You’re not helping your case.”

“There is no case. I’m going with you, even if I have to strap myself to your magnificent body. I will find a way, trust me, Steve, I will find a way. And it’s going to be in a good way that benefits us both.”

His boyfriend was absurd. Why did he fall for him in the first place? “Tony -”

“I’m going, Steve. That’s final,” the genius crossed his arms and managed to still keep Steve’s chin on his head and have the shield balanced on his lap.

“Fine. Fine,” Steve accepted defeat. “Just promise you will stay close to me or Bucky. I just got you both back. I can’t lose you again.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Babe,” Tony said in confident reassurance. “Don’t worry about me. Now, you on the other hand.”

“I’m Captain America. I’ve punched Hitler countless times. I’ll be hard to take down,” Steve teased, feeling arms slowly snake around his chest and pull him close.

“Sure,” Tony said with his voice growing softer, the word having more meaning behind it than what was implied.

Steve wanted to ask what that was about but considering they were in a middle of a war he figured Tony meant it in a sense that not even Steve, supersoldier and all, could avoid getting hurt. He was bound to get a scrape or two, or even lose a leg, but he was prepared for that. What he wasn’t prepared for, and never will be, was watching the genius get hurt again. One was enough. Two… well, he didn’t want to even think about it.

He felt movement over his stomach. Tony had shifted his arms to hold the shield in wonder again and lowered his head, moving Steve’s with it.

“Do you want to use it instead? You seem to be attached to it more than me.”

“No,” the genius traced the line closest to the center. “This is your shield. You’ve got to make it pure freedom and pure Steve.”

Steve buried his grin in the dark locks and hummed. “Make it pure Captain America?”

“You know it,” a pause. “This is really light. I didn’t think vibranium would really be like this.”

Steve was about to respond with a comment about the shield and Tony’s fascination with it, what with him being a genius on building things and all, but he stopped dead, realizing something. He never once informed Tony about the material used to create the shield. How did he know about it?

Suspicion filled his mind. “Tony, how did you know it’s made from vibranium?”

Because of how close their bodies were Steve felt every muscle twitch and stiffen. Tony nearly jumped on his spot. “You told me.”

Steve pushed back from him, getting a clear image of the genius’ eyes wide in worry and… fear?. “No, I didn’t.”

He could practically see the brunette’s mind spinning for an answer. “Are you sure you didn’t?”

“I’m pretty sure I didn’t, Tony. How did you know?” he didn’t meant to say it as stern as it came out but Tony was obviously lying. Sure his boyfriend had probably lied a couple of times in the past, but something like this, something he’s so plainly trying to avoid saying, it was making Steve far too dubious.

“I… I -” Tony looked on the verge of a panic attack, nearly shouting the name “Howard” as his answer.

Steve blinked, his heart sinking after realizing he had forced Tony to say the name of the man who abandoned him. “Stark?”

“Yeah, Howard Stark,” his face slowly began to lose the scared expression. “I’m a genius, Steve, I’ll always be near technology and after spending months without a single electrical machine I needed some alone time with engines. I was sort of there when da- _Stark_ explained the shield.”

Steve was no fool. Tony was about to say another word for Stark. One that coincidentally had the two first words of ‘dad.’ His theory about Stark being his father was right. It had to be. And he forced Tony to recall it and almost even say it. He felt shame at realizing he was a horrible boyfriend for doing that to him. “Tony… I’m sorry.”

The genius’ face morphed to confusion. “For what?”

 _For making you talk about your father who abandoned you._ “For being suspicious of you.”

“Oh… it’s fine. I’d be suspicious of me, too. No worries.”

He nodded but didn’t agree. There was worry, plenty of worry to be done. Worry for the upcoming battle against Hydra, worry for their well-being, worry for being suspicious and a bad person and forcing someone to remember a horrible thing that happened to their life.

Wanting to make up for it he gave a kiss on the tousled hair and held him close. Tony tried reassuring him but even his smile had a fake base in it.

~~~

 

To the Howling Commandos’ surprise, even to Steve’s, planning out attacks with Bucky and Tony adding input gave nearly perfect results. Their plans went flawlessly with no casualties to any of their men. Hydra, on the other hand, suffered substantially from it.

With Bucky’s unbelievable sniping skill that took down any hidden enemies and Tony’s genius handle of chemicals and weaponry that created impressive explosives that made grenades look like kiddie stuff to take down buildings and large groups of foes, no base stood a chance. And after witnessing what the little sixteen-year-old-looking soldier was capable of many of the Commandos quickly readjusted their attitude to him. Something that Tony wouldn’t stop looking smug about and something Bucky couldn’t stop laughing and bringing up to them.

Steve, you could imagine, was filled with pride from that. The desire to tell his men “that’s my boyfriend right there” and show him off too great, but he resisted.

They took down base after base. Bucky and Tony working the most in payback for what was done to them at the hands of Hydra. Like the genius had promised he remained close to Steve but Steve found he didn’t have to do much on watching him besides keeping an eye on his six because Tony… really knew how to handle himself. Now Steve understood what Bucky meant when he said the nineteen year old knew how to hold his own. It was a sight to see. A child taking down grown men on his own. It was both an amazing image and a downright terrifying and shocking sight. Steve was just grateful that Tony was his boyfriend and not his enemy. Getting kisses from him sounded more pleasing than getting bullets.

Plenty of exploding buildings later and now here they were after much information gathering, standing on a cliff, near a snow-covered edge with the long, thick cable extending to the other side of the mountain. They were waiting for the train to appear and from the sound of fast wheels scraping against steel getting louder they knew the train was getting close.

“Dare me to freefall from here?” Tony leaned over the edge to get a better view of the drop.

“Now why would we do that, Tony?” Steve rolled his eyes.

Gabe Jones, who was listening in to their messages, spoke up from behind them. “We were right. Dr. Zola is on the train.”

“Of course we were right,” Tony said in a manner that meant he was offended for ever having doubts in the first place.

Everyone ignored him. Jones continued, “Hydra dispatch has given him permission to open up the throttle. Wherever he’s going they must need him bad.”

As if on cue the speeding train appeared within sight. Falsworth looked with his binoculars. “Let’s get going because they’re moving like the devil.”

Steve adjusted his equipment, getting ready to slide down the cable. “We only got about a ten second window. You miss that window, we’re bugs on a windshield.”

“Oh, lovely,” Tony mocked in a exaggeratedly heavy accent.

“Try not to get hurt, Kid,” Dum Dum said.

“Not a kid.”

“Better get moving, bugs.”

Steve slid first, followed closely by Bucky and then Tony. Thankfully, none of them missed the train and landed on the roof without trouble. They gained their balance and got on their feet as the train sped away from the Howling Commandos. Steve made gestures to get them moving, crouching to avoid slipping off.

Tony watched the rear, gun in his hands and ready to fire if needed. Bucky kept close to Steve, following him down the ladder located on the side of the train when they found it. He made a motion with his hand to signal to Tony, who nodded in confirmation and kneeled on his spot, eyes focused intently for danger.

“Watch your back, Kid,” Bucky said before entering the train, completely missing the shift in expression on Tony’s face.

Once inside they quickly made for cover, searching every inch of the compartment for hidden enemies. Steve held his shield up in defense, gun at the ready. His eyes scanned every possible surface for movement, walking carefully forward with Bucky watching his back. There was no obvious danger but he knew something was going to happen. It was far too quiet for a train transporting someone important. There had to be a catch, as Tony would say it. There had to be a trap set up.

Exchanging a look with Bucky he marched forward, watching where he put his foot every step of the way. It was all clear and he neared the door to enter the next compartment, passing it when a loud clunk echoed the small space and Steve knew the trap had been activated. He ran back and slammed the shut door separating him and Bucky, watching as his best friend turned away and began firing his weapon at enemies that entered.

They had separated them. This was their plan, to have Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes alone for easy pickings. Not today.

Behind him he heard the sounds of heavy steel stomping the floor and turned just in time to see a soldier covered in black mesh, hiding their face, and had a giant gun-like weapon strapped on their shoulders, the long barrels secured on its arms and glowing a dangerous hue of blue. Steve fired his gun, gaining a small opening to avoid the blue blast the mechanical soldier released.

While the bulky enemy had power on their side, Steve had skill and brains and quickly outmaneuvered the giant man. He grabbed one of the barrels and fired it up, aiming for the door blocking him from Bucky and running for it once it was blasted away. He spotted Bucky hiding behind cover, no longer firing his now empty gun. Taking a deep breath he turned his own gun to hold it by the edge and slammed the button to open the door. Bucky turned to him at the sound and he gestured his plan, throwing the gun to him and running through the door without another thought. He pushed against containers on the shelves in the compartment and sent them hurtling to the guy trying to kill them. As predicted the man jumped to Bucky’s side in order to avoid getting hit and got hit by Bucky’s bullet.

The guy dropped to the floor, unmoving.

“I had him by the ropes,” Bucky muttered.

“I know,” Steve replied, willing his nerves to calm down.

They never did.

From the compartment he came from, through the broken door and smoke, appeared the bulky soldier he had taken down. The blue of its gun glowing in power and ready to blast them away. Steve had just enough time to push Bucky behind him and hold his shield up before the blast hit him. His shield flew right out of his hand and the weapon’s power ricocheted from the surface of his shield and blasted a large chunk of the train’s wall. He was thrown to the other side, slamming against the compartment’s still intact wall.

Dazed from the attack, Steve couldn’t do anything as Bucky grabbed his shield and began firing on the enemy. It did nothing to it and it quickly recharged its weapon, firing the moment it was done. Bucky was sent flying through the wall’s opening and Steve’s heart stopped. With a spike of adrenaline he went for his shield and threw it to the bastard, anger and desperation fueling his strength. It was sent soaring back and that was all Steve needed to run for his best friend.

His heartbeat was pounding in his ears as he spotted Bucky holding on for dear life on a rail that connected to the chunk of wall separated from the train. With no second thought he grabbed hold of the second rail next to the first Bucky clung to and with fear for his friend reached out for him.

“Bucky, grab my hand!”

Bucky tried, God he tried, but there were inches between them preventing their hands from being able to touch. The railing Bucky held on to creaked and Steve swore he heard the mountains screaming in agony.

Then, as if his worst nightmare was coming true, the railing broke and Steve witnessed his friend fall. There was no smile on his face this time.

He heard the scream released in terror, but then… the scream stopped before it could reach a halfway point. Bucky was still there. Bucky was still next to the train and not at the bottom of the Aps mountains, broken and dead. He was there and very much still alive.

That was when Steve noticed Bucky’s outstretched arm connected to two hands that neither belonged to him nor to Steve. The hands held onto the arm and refused to let go and when Steve followed where the hands were connected to he found those hands belonged to none other than Tony.

Steve had never loved the sight of his boyfriend more than he did at that moment.

“You’re not nearly old enough to die yet, Buck,” Tony shouted over the loud noise of the train with a grin that certainly looked out of place there. He was on the top edge of the separated wall chunk, using his body to hold himself in place and allow his arms to hold Bucky from falling. His chest was taking the main weight of gripping the 23 year old man while his arms, or to be more precise his armpits, were anchoring him to avoid slipping off, keeping him in place.

Bucky, who a few seconds ago was screaming for his life, grinned back at the genius.

Steve had his own relieved smile on his face, resting his head momentarily on the wall to regain his bearings before reaching out for Bucky’s arm that was being held. He managed to maneuver them without straining the second railing and got them safely back on the train, both collapsing on the ground simultaneously. Steve kneeled near the edge of the opening to keep an eye focused on his boyfriend, who hadn’t moved and was still hanging on top of the wall.

Bucky crawled over next to him, peeking his head out to look at the nineteen year old. “You are insane, Brat. I can’t believe you jumped on a loose piece of wall. You demented little…” the grin was still in place. Bucky clearly wasn’t meaning it strictly.

Steve leaned against the wall for support, smiling broadly at his boyfriend. The joy and relief so overwhelming that he just wanted to grab them both and hold them close and never let go. “I love you, Tony.”

And he did. He loved the genius so much that he couldn’t begin to describe it.

If possible, Tony’s grin grew wider, “Love you, too, Babe.”

“Tony,” Bucky started, his face scrunching up trying to find the words he wanted to say. “Thanks for that.”

Tony’s expression changed to disbelief. “Woow, I thought I’d die before I’d ever hear Bucky say tha -”

An oval-shaped piece formed on the detached wall, right where Tony held onto. It cracked and ripped apart, separating it from the train and both Steve and Bucky watched in horror as the chunk fell down to the rocky and snow-covered ground, taking their Tony with it. They heard the horrible screams he released as he descended, near deafening.

“TONY!”

Steve and Bucky shouted his name, shouted it loud enough that they were sure somewhere in the distance they had caused an avalanche. Both of them tried to follow after the genius, desperate to get through the opening and somehow find a way to save him, but while one wanted to jump the other refused to let them. Bucky held Steve back from taking the final steps forward, plunging to his death, while in return Steve held Bucky from doing the same. They watched as Tony grew smaller and smaller until he disappeared entirely, and then, with broken souls, they crumbled on the floor.

The train continued running, never once slowing down or stopping. Not from the attack and not for the fallen soldier. The spot at the bottom where they saw him fall to grew farther and farther away. The sight blurring when Steve’s eyes had the makings of tears happening. There he and Bucky remained, watching the spot of their genius get slowly away from them and watching as the distance cemented… they were never going to see him again.

A fallen soldier, a genius, a friend, a lover.

Tony Rhodes died in battle for the good of his country.

Steve and Bucky were shattered in battle for the good of their country.

The mountains echoed a silent song for them.

They captured Dr. Zola that day, something worth celebrating, but there was no victory for Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. When they handed Zola over it might as well be considered they threw him into the Colonel’s arms after they roughly took him down. Zola could've looked better, according to Phillips. To Steve and Bucky he could’ve looked worse.

The Howling Commandos, once they heard about their fallen comrade, stood in a circle and bowed their heads. Dum Dum gave a short and simple four sentence speech in honor of Tony, but those simple words tugged at everyone’s heartstrings, especially that of Steve who couldn’t handle the small memorial for his lover. Bucky had to lead him away before he collapsed right there in front of his men, even when he himself was barely holding it together.

They agreed to go to the bar without saying anything. Both of them were ready to drink their sorrows away. The Howling Commandos respected their wishes and left them alone to grieve. The bar was empty of any other bodies except for theirs. Drink after drink they took. Never once uttering a word but understanding full well what the other was feeling.

Bucky had lost a close friend on the mountains. While it didn’t look it because of their daily banter in reality Bucky and Tony cared for each other like the brother they never had. It was like he lost family in those mountains.

And Steve… that was a given. He lost his lover on that train. He lost someone who truly loved him for him, long before the serum happened, and Steve in return gave his all. It was his first real love and it hit him harshly to know he couldn’t do anything to protect it. He did this. He was the reason Tony was dead. If he had only fought harder and prevented Tony from joining their fight against Hydra, _forced_ him not to join, Tony would’ve still been alive. Mad, but alive. And now he was neither.

Shame, sorrow, despair, he held onto these emotions as he lifted his drink to his lips, but no matter how many he took he never once got that tingling feeling everyone who drank described. There was no buzz, no room spinning, nothing.

He couldn’t get drunk. He couldn’t drink his sorrows away until he passed out and gave himself a few hours free of pain.

And from the way Bucky threw his glass on the floor in frustration he knew he was experiencing the same thing. The drinks weren’t strong enough. Steve had taken seven less glasses than Bucky and still Bucky was sober. They needed stronger stuff, they needed the bar to dump everything in one container and mix up a concoction that was capable of getting Captain America drunk.

They didn’t know how long they remained in the establishment just drinking and drinking and drinking some more. Must have been hours because the sounds of heels clicking on wooden floor bounced on the walls and signaled the arrival of Peggy. Neither he nor Bucky turned to greet her. Something disrespectful they wouldn’t ever get caught dead doing, but they couldn’t bring themselves to care.

Peggy didn’t look insulted by it. She had an understanding aura on her and Steve was grateful for it. She walked closer, softening her steps to prevent any noise. Steve poured himself another drink. “I can’t get drunk. Dr. Erskine said that the serum wouldn't just affect my muscles, it would affect my cells. Create a protective system of regeneration and healing.”

Peggy pursed her lips. “Your metabolism burns four times faster than the average person. He thought it could be one of the side effects,” she gave Bucky a quick glance. “And what of him? Already knocked out for the count?”

“I wish,” Bucky muttered with his arms crossed on the table and his head resting on them. He gave the image of a passed out drunk, but he wasn’t. “This stuff isn’t strong enough. We need the lethal stuff to even come close.”

“This place serves the strongest within a civilians and soldiers budget,” she said, eyeing the many empty bottles of alcohol, looking as if she was trying to figure something out. “It’s neither of your faults,” she referred to the death of their Tony.  

Bucky snorted, “The hell it isn’t. I was the reason he was hanging there. He fell because he helped me and I didn’t do anything,” he said bitterly.

“I was right there,” Steve clutched his glass, one twitch away from breaking it in his hand. “I could have reached out to him. I should have told him to get off that wall, to climb back on top of the train. I didn’t. I didn’t tell him to do anything and he stayed there. He stayed there instead of - and I just let him, I -”

The glass broke. Steve barely noticed it, his voice cracking as he explained why, explained why it was really all his fault, why he was to be blamed for it all.

A soft hand reached out and held his arm. Peggy had moved to sit on the chair next to Steve and she was studying him, looking for all the hidden clues. Her eyes were wide in realization and Steve knew she had figured it out. “Rhodes… he’s the one, isn’t he? Your gal waiting for you.”

Whatever was left of his heart broke and he let out a pitiful sound as he said “Was” and brought up his hand to hide his eyes and hold on to what little dignity he had left. The sorrow overwhelming and breaking his soul.

“Steve… I’m so sorry,” she said and meant it. Her own eyes building up a set of tears. “I’m so sorry.”

They all looked away from each other, unable to handle each other’s anguish when their own had them already crumbling on the floor.

Steve and Bucky didn’t get drunk that night, no matter how many drinks they took. None of it was strong enough to even come close to impairing their thoughts, let alone their memories. Tony’s screams repeated like a broken record in their heads, over and over again. Their sorrow slowly turned into anger, fueling their desire to take down the Red Skull once and for all.

When they stormed the last building on their own and fought against all the Hydra lackeys they gained a dark satisfaction at hearing their yells and witnessing their bodies hit the floor. Every bullet, every throw of the shield, every snap of the bones, were all for Tony Rhodes.

~~~

 

The plane was seconds away from taking off. Steve and Bucky stood up on the moving car driven by Colonel Phillips as it remained right at the plane’s tail. There was an opening to get on the plane and stop Red Skill once and for all and they were going to take it. 

“Ready?” Steve shouted over the roaring sound of the engine in the plane and the car.

Bucky nodded, “Ready.”

“Let’s end this.” Steve moved to get a hold on a plane and yank himself up but before he could extend a leg out Peggy, who was sitting on the backseat of the car besides Bucky, shouted a “Wait!”

Steve, Bucky and the Colonel simultaneously turned to her, Bucky a bit taken back at her grabbing his shoulder to stop him. Peggy stood and placed a small kiss on Bucky’s cheek. She smiled fondly at him then turned to give a nod to Steve. “Go get him.”

Confused, Bucky gave a baffled look to Steve, not knowing what happened or what to say. Steve shook his head and said “I ain’t kissing you.”

They got on the plane together. Colonel Phillips and Peggy remaining in the car and watching the plane disappear from view. Inside, Steve and Bucky spotted Red Skull, on his own and ranting about power beyond their capability and destroying America with it. It was the typical speech most bad guys said when they were overconfident and had it been another time, one that still had Tony alive, Steve might have sit down and listened until the speech was finished. But given Red Skull was the main cause of why Tony was gone, Steve and Bucky downright didn’t care and were eager to lay a punch each on that tacky skull of his.

Fighting side by side the battle against the red menace was surprisingly short. Even after he vanished in a burst of blue light that disappeared to the sky Steve didn’t want to believe that was the end. He wanted Schmidt to still be there so he could punch him again and again. Take him down on the ground and just beat every inch of his body for Tony, for every brown hair that was lost in the war, for every bruise given, for every time the genius was woken up at night because of nightmares, for everyday that would go on without him, for the future that had no Tony Rhodes in it. Steve wanted to kill Schmidt over and over again, kill him so often that the universe would have to bring back Tony if it wanted Steve to stop.

Steve had lost his chance to do so. Now Schmidt was dead, and they still had to stop the flight from touching American soil. The only problem was the plane was far too close now and they didn’t have enough time. Steve ran to the seat in front of the controls, Bucky following close behind to stand by his side.

“Where are we going to land this bird, Steve?” Bucky eyed the outside, watching every cloud pass by and disappear.

“There’s not enough time to land anywhere,” Steve’s hands move frantically over the plane’s controls.

“Making our own landing it is then.”

“Buck there’s still time for you to get out. There has to be a parachute in here somewhere. You can still make it.”

Bucky gave him a sharp look. “And what about you?”

Steve averted his gaze. “I’ll land it. I’ll give you a small opening. Take it and go back to the others.”

“I’m not leaving you, Steve.”

“Bucky, please -”

“No, Steve. I don’t care what you’re going to say. My place is right here next to you. If we have to do this we’re doing it together.”

The plane quaked, causing a rattling sound. It went unnoticed.

“You want to radio back?” Steve asked.

A pause. “Yeah, do it.”

Steve tinkered with the communicator, watching the skies intently. A static and then the soft but worried voice of Peggy Carter went through. “Steve, James, is that you? Are you both alright?”

“We’re both fine,” Steve breathed, “Schmidt is dead.”

“What about the plane?”

“A little bit tougher to explain,” Bucky answered.

“Give me your coordinates, I’ll find you a safe landing site.”

Steve turned to Bucky, silently asking for confirmation. When Bucky nodded, determined and set, he answered “There’s not going to be a safe landing. We’re going to try and force it down.”

“I’ll get Howard on the line, he’ll know what to do.”

That name brought forth unwanted emotions in him. “There’s not enough time. This thing’s moving too fast and it’s heading for New York. We have to put her in the water.”

There was a silent intake of breath on the other end. “Don’t do this. We have time. We can work something out.”

“We’re in the middle of nowhere. If we wait any longer a lot of people are going to die,” Steve stopped, wanting to say something more but knew it wasn’t his only choice to say. He gave Bucky the opening.

And Bucky knew exactly what Steve silently meant. “Agent Carter, this is our choice.”

“Peggy,” she insisted.

“Peggy,” Bucky repeated with a sad smile. “You never did give me a proper answer about that dance.”

A watery chuckle. “Yes. A week, next Saturday, at the Stork Club. Eight o’clock on the dot. Don’t you dare be late.”

“You got it. Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” the smile disappeared. The sight of ice getting closer and closer as Steve maneuvered the plane to head down. “What kind of songs will be playing?”

“We’ll get something slow to start with.”

“Deal. I’m not a bad dancer -” the ice was a few feet away “- but I’d hate to step on your toes on the first song.” Bucky grasped Steve’s right arm and braced himself. Steve, in return, gave his hand a squeeze before closing his eyes and ducking his head for the impact. “I might be a nervous wreck so ignore me if I do anythi -”

A crash and the line went static before it died.

“James? _James? Steve?_ ”

Cold.

Dark.

Quiet and alone.

“- Steve, can you -?”

Everything was dark.

“ - you’re alright -”

Everything was cold.

“Steve, it’s me.”

There was water. How was he breathing?

“A lot of things happen -”

Why was he so cold?

“I was found in the ice on -”

Why was he hearing voices?

“- working now as an agent of S.H.I.E -”

Those voices. Familiar.

“- slow at aging – injected me with something.”

Familiar. Gruff. Male.

“Good morning, Steven -”

Soft. Accented. Female.

“You’re not dead.”

Best friend. Bucky?

“Come on, Steve. It’s time to wake up.”

Close friend. Peggy?

He opened his eyes. The light was harsh, almost blinding. There were two figures looming over him. One of his left and the other besides the first, closest to the center. There was an empty space. One was missing. Who?

“Hello again, Steve,” soft voice, female, Peggy said.

“You’ve been asleep,” gruff voice, male, Bucky said. “For almost seventy years, Steve. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”

 _Seventy years_.

Bucky and Peggy were there.

_Seventy years._

He was missing something.

_Seventy years._

What was he missing?

“Bucky?” his voice sounded strange. Unused.

_Seventy years._

“Hey, Steve. Long time no see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed it! Mistakes and all.


	6. Sixty-Six Years Overdue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some things I have to say. If you're reading this expecting it to be an exact replica of Winter Soldier with Tony taking Bucky's place then I'm afraid you might be disappointed. To me both men are far too different to each other for Tony to do everything the same. If Tony is going to take something, in this case be the Winter Soldier, he's going to make it his own. The same with Bucky in keeping his own things. Everything is going to be different plot wise because of this.   
> Hope I still keep you, even after this!

Steve was wide awake. He could hear what was going around him and he could speak on a good day, move his jaw and tongue just enough to form words. But he couldn’t move his body. Not a finger, not a toe, not anything that involved moving muscles. He was paralyzed, or as some of the medical personnel were referring to it, he was experiencing muscle weakness, His muscles were stiff beyond human capability and it was trying to catch up with nearly seventy years of forgotten reflexes.

Had he been on his own, waking up to strange and unknown faces, he would’ve probably had a panic attack of sorts knowing he was at the mercy of potential enemies. Paralyzed and on a bed, he was practically a gift wrapped to be opened and tortured or experimented on. He was thankful that the faces he woke up to listening and clinging to for sanity were the same faces he talked to not ten minutes ago. What he wasn’t thankful for was realizing those ten minutes, or what felt like ten minutes, were in actuality years, almost seventy of them.

He had so many questions, so many missing blanks.

“Easy, Steve. You’re heartbeat spiked. Something on your mind?”

His eyes were still able to move and he looked at the familiar figure sitting on a chair by his bedside. Bucky still appeared the same from the last time he saw him on the plane they were seconds away from crashing on the ice. A different hairstyle that looked messy and spiked and had the makings of a recently shaven stubble growing down his jaw to his chin and a mustache. There were no white hairs, at least not yet, but there are new aging lines presented on his face. What stood out the most without a doubt was the clothing. It wasn’t sharp, didn’t look stiff, it looked smooth and rounded, framing the broad shoulders. And on one side of the shoulder, where the left arm connected, there was a silvery replacement where his arm should’ve been. His entire left arm, completely gone, and at the same time not gone because the prosthetic moved naturally as if the appendage was never lost in the first place.

Different and yet not so different from the last time he saw him before the plane crash. That was an odd thought. They were both still there and alive after experiencing a crash and seventy years. One would think they’d be long gone, but no, he and Bucky defied all expectations and were still breathing. He might be paralyzed at the moment but he was just as alive as Bucky.

“Are you still finding it hard to believe you’re alive?”

Steve blinked twice. From the moment he could they set up a system where if asked a yes or no question, two blinks meant yes and one meant no.

“Better start believing and get over your issues because time doesn’t wait for you, trust me. Woke up just like you years ago and I had to catch up. Only difference is I didn’t get the huge gap. Fifteen years is nothing compared to seventy. You’ll have to catch up fast, Steve,” Bucky looked away and stared at something on the wall Steve presumed meant as a metaphor to stare at what was now out there. “The stuff we have now… you can’t begin to imagine. I still can’t, and I’ve lived in it since the start of it. All the history, everything’s that changed. Brooklyn’s huge now, giant buildings, skyscrapers. We elected our first black president and women are a force to be reckon with.”

He looked back and eyed Steve’s unmoving form. “Once you get a handle on moving we’ll go over all the history and important things and even the unimportant things because there’s always something to learn. Want to hear about my day?”

Steve blinked once. He didn’t feel like hearing Bucky’s dramatically told stories and referring to things Steve had no idea was or meant and then spending the rest of the day trying to get the smallest idea of what it could be. Any other day maybe, but not today.

“Want to hear the recordings again, instead?”

Two blinks.

“Recordings it is then,” Steve watched as Bucky stood and walked to the front of the bed to grab a small rectangular device with buttons and multiple holes decorating the bottom.. He brought it back with him and placed it on the small table near his head.

“Want to be alone?”

Two more blinks.

“Alright, I’ll make sure you’re not disturbed. I’ll stop by with Peggy to tell you the time. One thing I learned when I was found was trying to figure out what time or day it is was pure torture. Think you’ll be in the mood for music?”

Three blinks.

“Maybe? We’ll figure it out later. I’ll bring something just in case. Don’t force yourself to move. It strains your mind and I already know how much you struggle with that.”

Steve took notice of Bucky’s smirk and had he not been paralyzed he would’ve hit him, or at least thrown something. It took more effort than it should, but, paralyzed, and all, he moved his tongue and lips just enough to mutter a “Jerk” with his jaw shut tight.

“Hurry up and get better, Punk.”

With that Bucky pressed a button on the device and walked out of the room, dimming the lights. From the device a voice came through. It was a recording device, a very advanced and small recording device, and from it Bucky’s voice filled the room.

“ _You’re finally here. Damn, Steve I can’t believe we finally found you. How long has it been? Nearly seventy years? You put us through a very intense game of hide and seek. Where do I even start with this? Hell, Steve, can you even hear me? I’m not dead, Steve and you’re not either. You’re alright, I’m alright, Peggy’s here and she’s alright. It’s 2009, almost seventy years later we’re still here and you’re probably wondering how it’s possible. Probably best if I start at the beginning, no, maybe not the beginning. Right after we went crashing into the ice. That’s where this all starts._

“ _We crashed into the ice. You remember that, right? Hard to forget it since we were both stuck in it for years. When the plane hit the ice it ended up breaking in half, the end of it separating from us. I was on that end. The ice threw me and I sank with that half while you were on the other. You kept on going and ended up who knows where in the ocean, which is why it took us forever to find you. We fell asleep after that. Took a nap at the bottom of the ocean, can you believe it? Only we’d do something like that. Still feels like a dream, honestly. I was underwater for fifteen years, they found me in 1958, but it all happened in minutes. One moment I was looking at ice and the next I was hearing Peggy’s voice._

“ _She was the one who talked to me, just like we both are talking to you. It was her and Howard Stark that found me. Stark paid for the whole expedition to search for us and even paid for the recovering. Turns out being awake but paralyzed can do some serious mental damage if not handled right. Thank God for Peggy, otherwise I probably would’ve lost my damn mind. It’s horrible to be trapped in your own body, but don’t panic, Steve. You’ll get yourself moving again._

“ _Peggy talked to me about everything we missed. Turns out the Howling Commandos continued taking down Hydra buildings long after we crashed. Dum Dum was left to lead them. Colonel Phillips continued doing what he was doing, with an emphasis on trying to train and find that one soldier that could come close to having at least one resemblance to Captain America, your skill to lead his men, but he never did. No one can replace you, and then the war ended. All the Howling Commandos lived but those idiots wanted to keep fighting. Phillips probably had to tie them down to prevent them from accidentally starting a new war. Managed to find a new use for them. The war ended but the battle wasn’t over yet and Peggy and those idiots found something else to do. The fight was taken behind doors. No more fighting on the field, sneaking around and fighting on the inside was the new way to go._ ”

Steve closed his eyes as he continued to listen to Bucky’s recording talk about how Peggy outmaneuvered the strongest of men and even outsmarted those who were supposedly in charge.

“ _She’s amazing, Steve. Hearing it was one thing but to be able to witness it, God, I fell in love. She kept me sane and talked to me like a friend and not a patient like those doctors or that psychiatrist they got for some reason. I was paralyzed for weeks and then one day, out of nowhere, I moved my arm. Didn’t even realize I was doing it. My damn fingers were moving as if I was never paralyzed since the beginning, then I was able to move my arm and my legs and I was on my feet in no time. Sure gave a hell of a surprise to Peggy when she visited after that. I was able to hug her for the first time, and see her, too. She hardly changed, Steve. Some gals out there don’t agree with age but besides a few lines here and there time hardly touched her. She was as beautiful as the last day we saw her. Course you don’t have to take my word for it. You’ll see for yourself when you finally get moving. Where there tears when we first hugged? I ain’t telling you, but what I can say is that the first thing she did after she let me go was remind me I’m fifteen years late for our dance. Like the gentleman that I am I asked her again if she’d like to go and she said yes._

“ _You’d probably be grinning at me right now if you could. Good thing you can’t. Don’t think I’d be able to stand you once you hear we’re married._ ”

There, right there. The first time Steve heard his best friend say this he almost couldn’t believe it. His first thought was Bucky was just saying this to poke fun at him, but then why would Bucky even say it? Marriage was never comedy Bucky used, unless it involved Steve, otherwise it was a huge no. Plus, he was using Peggy as the joke, and from personal experience he knew Peggy would shoot Bucky down for doing so without her knowledge.

The fact that Bucky was still standing and believing that fake marriages wasn’t exactly Peggy’s sort of comedy meant that the talk of being married had to be true.

Which meant that Bucky was married to Peggy.

Which also meant that Bucky had finally tied the knot.

Meaning that Bucky… wasn’t single anymore.

Bucky was a husband.

Bucky was right. If Steve could move he’d be grinning like a madman and wouldn’t let him live this down.

“ _...dated for almost three years before I finally asked her to marry me. Took us a while to even reach that point. I was still put in recovery and physical therapy because those damn doctors believed there was a possibility my body could shut down or cramp up, don’t remember which wordings they used. Nothing I could do to get out of it, and with Peggy agreeing with them there was no way to escape it. I wanted nothing more than to get on my feet and see what all the talk about years gone by was about and to also join Peggy’s side and fight. You know she and Howard founded S.H.I.E.L.D? It’s a secret government organization of spies and assassins and all that great stuff, and they were good, too, because it grew to what it is today. You’ve got agents everywhere and technology and things we grew up hearing about, Steve. It’s incredible, but I’m not going to spoil it for you. You’ve got to see it for yourself._

“ _Peggy became director of S.H.I.E.L.D while Howard provided the technology for it and the information. When I was finally cleared physically and mentally I got thrown right back into therapy because of Howard’s prosthetic. Lost my arm in the ice, did I tell you that? My left arm clean off, but Howard built me a new one, somehow connected it to my nerves and it’s as if I never lost it. It was fucking painful as hell, but hey, I got my arm back and it’s a weapon on its own. Don’t have to worry about breaking my bones or anything, it’s all steel. When I got the hang of it I signed up and I’m now working for S.H.I.E.L.D._

“ _But you’re probably wondering why we’re still here after nearly seventy years. Even Howard is - was- here. He was close. Couple of years more and you could’ve seen him. Kind of depressing really, since he spent so much time, money and effort searching for us but only managed to see one. To answer it all it was Howard who made it possible for us to stand here, at least for Peggy and himself. Remember how they injected me with things when I was captured? Turns out they gave me some experimental version of the serum you have. It wasn’t complete and back then it was unstable and had the possibility of causing violent seizures and strokes that could’ve left me brain dead, or something. According to doctors and scientist I was a possible walking time bomb. Damn good thing S.H.I.E.L.D was already up and had scientist who knew what they were doing. They couldn’t complete the serum I was injected with, but they could fill in the empty spaces it had with substitutes._

“ _I got benefits from the serum. I aged slowly. Got a good month or three for every year that passed. They gave me an exact estimate, but that was years ago, Steve, don’t get mad at me for forgetting it. I also got some strength in me. Besides my metal arm that can do what no other flesh arm can the rest of me can withstand more than what the average person is able to. The same goes for strength. Not as much as you but I can certainly impress the public. I also heal quickly. Of course I didn’t get the body change or bigger muscles like you did. Wouldn’t be able to walk without having civilians or agents on me if I had. You know how it is. At one point they asked me to be the new Captain America, but I couldn’t do it. You were still out there in the ice and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing I was replacing you. No, I stayed as an agent for S.H.I.E.L.D and worked with Peggy and Howard._

“ _It’s because of Howard that Peggy is still alive to this day. For some damn reason he became obsessed with the serum. Looked up everything he could from the notes they had about the substitute chemicals and worked for months on trying to piece together something stable._ ”

From the recording there was a creaking sound that resembled a door opening and Bucky paused momentarily, probably turning to see what the noise was from. There was shuffling and then the screech of a chair moving.  Frozen body and all Steve took a sharp intake of air. It always happened when the recording reached this part.

“ _Are you still entertaining Steve with stories about the marvelous future?_ ”

That was Peggy. Steve figured this was the point in time where Peggy decided to join Bucky in regaling him with history.

“ _I was just getting to the part with Howard injecting himself with his experimental serum,_ ” Steve heard Bucky answer.

“ _Ah, yes, the scientific breakthrough of his. Bloody man was a fool for taking the risk without proper study, but I am loathed to admit he was a brilliant fool. May I?_ ”

“ _Be my guest. The floor is all yours_.”

“ _Howard was a genius, we all knew that, but we never realized what he was truly capable of until he got his hands on proper equipment instead of the outdated stuff we had in our time. He wasn’t able to replicate the serum. That was lost a long time ago with no hope of ever re-creating it, but he managed to find the pieces Hydra had injected James with. Of course none of us knew what he was up to when this was occurring, or that he was searching for those pieces on his many trips around the states and sometimes around the world. The only reason we found out about it was because we found him passed out in his workshop after he failed to show up for a scheduled meeting. Nearly gave us panic attacks. Luckily for him he managed to create something stable and he wasn’t at risk of dropping dead or combusting out of nowhere._

“ _The serum was almost an exact to what James was given, except we later found that there was less strength involved. More than what the average person is capable of but far less than what James can do. Still, the slow aging and the fast healing was beneficial. When Howard reached six months without suddenly losing a limb we figured the serum was a success. As to why he created it in the first place we never figured it out. The man was stubbornly quiet about the subject, but since he seemed to only keep the formula and his research to himself we saw no harm, so long as we kept an eye on him. At one point he offered me the chance to go through with it as well. From what I understood I was the only person who he ever proposed the procedure to. Howard was surprisingly territorial about it. Didn’t even let other S.H.I.E.L.D scientists take a look at the formula, let alone let them have a glimpse of the liquid itself._

“ _He burned all his research after I went through with the procedure and never talked about it again. It became an old memory that we soon forgot about when the fighting caught up again in the 70’s and then we got distracted with a little bundle in the 80’s_.”

This was it, the reason why Steve was preparing himself for. Hearing this part of the recording was always the hardest, but he wanted to desperately feel, to remember.

“ _No, Steve, she doesn’t mean a bundle from us._ ” Bucky said.

A soft chuckle. “ _Of course not. The bundle didn’t come from us. He came from Howard. Years after we took the serum and found our aging had slowed down, confirming Howard’s serum’s success, we celebrated, and I’m pretty sure it was this night that Howard’s heir was conceived._ ”

“ _God, don’t remind me. I don’t want to know about Stark bumping uglies with Maria._ ”

“ _You realize that’s how babies are made, correct?_ ”

“ _Long story short, Howard ended up getting a son on 1980 and named us as his godparents. Cute little tyke but a pure devil when he was left to his own devices. He had the makings of getting away with murder thanks to his big brown eyes. You should’ve seen them, Steve, they almost looked like…_ ”

Peggy cleared her throat at the long pause from Bucky. “ _Well, we got distracted because of the child. Whenever we could we cleared time in our schedules for him. Howard was a brilliant man but he didn’t know left from right when it came to raising a child. While he wasn’t physically abusive he still found a way to neglect the little one._

“ _He was precious, Steve. I only wish you could’ve been able to see him, to watch him grow from a child to a teen. Because of Howard’s new genetic makeup the child aged slowly as well. Not as much as us, but enough to tell the difference between him and the other twelve year old kids. And he was just as brilliant, if not more. He was going to change the world, invent things we could only dream of and barely comprehend. We were so proud._ ”

“ _We saw him as one of our own_ ,” Bucky added. “ _He was more our son than Howard was his dad, but when he turned fourteen Howard sent him away to school and wouldn’t let us see him. We couldn’t do anything about it since everyone decided that was the perfect time to try and attack, and with Peggy working the field after handing over the title of director to Fury and me being one of the top agents we had our hands full._ ”

“ _The last time James and I saw the child was eleven years ago. He vanished in 1998. Howard also disappeared soon after, three days, to be exact. Just like that, father and son were gone. We searched for them both day and night, but after eleven years…_ ”

Steve understood what she wanted to say. Missing after eleven years and still searching was clinging to a thin line of false hope. It was stretching it. The only outcome that could come out of it was finding bodies to bury.

The next part had Steve’s heart thumping harshly against his chest.

“ _You should have seen him, Steve. The kid - the child… You would’ve loved him. He… his name… he was named after Tony. In honor of you and - and him, he was named Tony. Don’t know why Stark did it but I couldn’t hold it against him. Tony had the same attitude and even the same eyes that I swear it was as if he got reincarnated, or something. It - it let me believe that maybe, by some miracle, he was still here with us. But that’s wishful thinking on my part. We ended up losing two Tony’s in our lifetime, Peggy and I. Don’t think I can survive a third._ ”

“ _But at least we had them_ ,” Peggy said gently.

“ _Yeah, at least we did_.”

“ _That’s all I can think of saying. After we lost Anthony and Howard it became like clockwork here. Mission after mission. Paperwork after paperwork. Besides the struggle of trying to keep S.H.I.E.L.D ahead of the technological game, now that Howard is gone, nothing worth saying has happened. Not yet anyway. Wake up soon, Steve. We have a lot to show you, and you’re going to cause a little bit of an uproar here, but we’ll help you every step of the way. S.H.I.E.L.D will provide you with temporary rooming when you’ve been cleared to leave. Whatever you choose to do, whether to return to civilian life or take up the mantel again as Captain America, or even work as an agent along with us, we’ll support you every step of the way._ ”

The sounds of heels clicking was the last thing that echoed in the room before the recording cut off, leaving Steve to his own thoughts about everything he had heard. It wasn’t the first time, but at each repeat it gave Steve a chance to think about new things involving everything that had happened while he was in the ice. This time his thoughts went to Howard Stark. The man became a mystery during Steve’s years of sleeping. From the way Bucky and Peggy described him and his actions he sounded nothing like the man Steve saw on stage when he presented the flying car or even on the plane when he flew over enemy line.

Steve hated Stark, at least he did in the beginning. Now, however, after hearing everything he had done for him and Bucky and Peggy, Steve could - grudgingly - admit he owed a lot to that man. If it wasn’t for him Bucky and himself would still be at the bottom of the ocean and Peggy would be somewhere in a retirement home, having lost the fight against time. But they weren’t. And it was all thanks to Howard Stark, who, in a surprising twist, had honored Tony by naming his son after him.

A familiar grief reappeared. Thinking about Tony, even just mentally hearing the name, made an old wound Steve realized was technically still new (considering the years went by in minutes for him) reopen. Before, when there wasn’t nearly seventy years between him, Steve had planned and hoped to somehow return to the mountains and find his lover’s body and give him a proper funeral and a chance to say goodbye. Perhaps even give himself closure and a chance to move forward (he didn’t believe he could, but that was something the deceased usually wished for their loved ones to do, and he figured Tony was no different, but it was so hard to even think about it when the death was still fresh.) Now, with a time gap added in, there was absolutely no way Steve was going to be able to find Tony at all. If locals hadn’t managed to find him over the course of seventy years then Mother Nature would’ve surely taken the reigns in handling Tony.

Tony was long gone and Steve had to accept that, even when he was still in denial.

Bucky and Peggy already went through their grief, healed and managed to move on, but Steve’s own grief was barely beginning.

Alone in the white and cold room with only the sounds of his heart monitor beeping Steve cried silently, unable to scrub away the tears that trailed down his cheeks. The sound of the machine echoing his slow, broken heart.

~~~

 

Similarly to how Bucky explained, when Steve first began to move his body he hadn’t realized he was even doing so at all. It was an unconscious response, learned over the years from sleeping on a bed and not needing to be thought of before doing it. He woke up around a time he figured was early morning, seeing as his mind decided that was a good time to get moving. Could’ve been late at night as well but neither Bucky or Peggy had visited him as of yet, which they usually did around 1000 or near noon, meaning it still wasn’t ten in the morning. He opened his eyes, blinked a couple of times in an attempt to rid the sleep, moved his head back and forth before sinking his elbows on the mattress and lifting himself up, swinging his legs over the edge so he could plant his feet on the floor.

It wasn’t until he ran a hand over his face that he realized, oh, he was moving his arm, and his legs, and his body, and hey, he wasn’t paralyzed anymore. When his brain caught up to what his body was doing and what it meant he jumped up and looked himself over just to make sure no part of him got mysteriously separated and he was in one piece. When all body parts were accounted for he did the only thing he could do at that moment, he grinned and walked around the entire room, doing another turn when every corner was reached and then another one and another one. Had the room been a foot or two wider he would’ve probably jogged the whole thing.

His muscles were nowhere near the point of aching from the poor excuse of an exercise but it was a great difference compared to just lying on the bed and not moving for days.

He lost count of how many rounds he did by the time Bucky appeared for his daily visit, and apparently nobody had been keeping an eye on him because when Bucky caught sight of him moving it was clear he was not expecting Steve to be up on his two feet and working on a makeshift physical therapy course.

They both paused when they caught each other’s eyes. Steve took a good long look of his best friend’s physical appearance, finally cementing what he saw while paralyzed and proving right everything he had heard. Bucky had a bird’s nest-like haircut that would never be seen in their time and the silvery prosthetic arm of his shined under the soft white and brown light of the room. He had aged a bit. Nothing obvious to the untrained eyes but Steve clearly remembered his best friend not having any crow’s feet, but there, right there, on the side and under his eye, over his cheek bone, was the faint beginnings of a single line.

Could’ve been a laughing line for all Steve knew but he needed something to poke fun of Bucky, though, and he was sticking to crow’s feet.

The pause extended for an unnecessary amount of time and neither of them dared to move. It wasn’t until the door opened again and in came Peggy that they were prompted to blink and then to run to each other and hug when she said “Steve” and went to him.

Steve held them both in his arms and he could’ve sworn his face was on the verge of being split because of the large smile that threatened to grow larger. Having them in his arms and finally being able to _move_ just felt so gosh darn good that Steve didn’t want the moment to end.

“Good to see you up and walking again, Steve,” Peggy said when she pushed herself an arm’s length away.

“Feels good to be up and walking again.”

“Had you stayed another week on that bed I would’ve personally gotten you out of it,” Bucky gripped his shoulder and gave it a gentle shake.

“Love you, too, Buck. Gosh, I can’t believe you’re both really here. I don’t - I don’t know how to even start. Are you really married?”

“Believe it, Steve. It’s all real and everything we said is true, we really are married. We’ll help you with every step you take, even if it means jumping off a building,” Bucky supported.

Steve gripped the arm holding his shoulder and gave an appreciative squeeze. “Thank you.”

“Come now,” Peggy gently held his free hand. It wasn’t a romantic gesture, nowhere near it. It was a friendly gesture that had a mix of relief added to it. “We’re all long overdue to catch up.”

~~~

 

The future was overwhelming. Steve didn’t know where to even begin or what specific thing to choose that made it so overwhelming and made him feel so small and outdated. Even the little small device that lit up and had numbers on it and made “wireless” communication possible had him feeling useless and out of place, no matter how many times Bucky told him “It’s okay if you don’t get the hang of it right away, Steve.”

Besides the technology the clothing also had him spinning his head. He had yet to see all the different spunky, dark, casual, professional and very revealing styles in person, but even just looking at them from the pictures Bucky and Peggy had presented him with the help from this ‘Google’ Steve was left gaping because everything was so small and tight and left very little for the imagination.

“It’s the on demand style that youngsters made popular and acceptable to see in public,” Peggy wasn’t talking about the male outfits. “You don’t have to jump in head first. We have clothing for you that resemble the closest to your wardrobe that James selected. You can wear them until you’re comfortable and keep wearing them when you are. Nobody will force you to adjust in one day.”

Steve was thankful for them. Had Bucky or Peggy not been there to help his adjustment he didn’t know what he would’ve done if he woke up alone with no familiar faces around. He probably would’ve crashed through the room in an attempt to figure out what happened and where he was and demand to know where Bucky was and to see Peggy and Colonel Phillips. That would’ve been a sight to see, him running frantically down the street and barreling down people. Civilians watching a madman and jumping out of his way to live another day. The police force would’ve probably been called in as a last resort to stop him from accidentally hurting someone or causing a huge amount of property damage if S.H.I.E.L.D hadn’t been the ones to have defrost him.

He was so grateful that he didn’t wake up alone in this new time.

Like Peggy had promised on the recording, he was given a temporary guest room in S.H.I.E.L.D Headquarters located in New York, the same place where they decided to defrost him in. He was to remain in the room until he was both cleared physically by the doctors and mentally by the psychiatrist, just in case his mind somehow got rotted from sixty-six years of inactivity.  Once he got the green check to be released into the world without risk he had the option to either move into a S.H.I.E.L.D owned apartment, a S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters that included year-long rooming, or a S.H.I.E.L.D safe house if he really wanted his privacy. Steve was starting to see a pattern there.

Any luck in trying to find something from what they offered that wasn’t S.H.I.E.L.D was nonexistent. It was either S.H.I.E.L.D, S.H.I.E.L.D, or S.H.I.E.L.D.

With any luck he might get something with S.H.I.E.L.D on it.

That was for later, though. He had yet to be cleared and was still adjusting and also was still trying to figure out what he was going to do. According to Bucky and Peggy he had the option of either taking up his shield again (which he learned was present and waiting for him a day after he started moving) and being Captain America, giving up his flashy suit and the public eye and becoming an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D, or retire completely and becoming an ordinary citizen (which was unlikely since war tends to take a lot from you and trying to return back to a regular, normal life was near impossible). So really he only had two options to choose from. Captain America or agent.

It was almost sad how quickly his mind ditched the flashy American outfit and went for secret agent instead.

While Steve was honored to have been the legendary icon, the American hero and the glimmer of hope during tough times, and was thankful to Dr. Erskine for believing in him and giving him a chance to fight, he didn’t think he would be able to do it all over again. To be the hope everything trusted to never go away when he himself was all dried up and hardly had any fight left in him.

Captain America had sucked him up emotionally. Because of the title he ended up losing one of the most important people of his life, and, quite frankly, he wanted to stay as far away from the role as possible. He only had two people left with him and he was going to keep it that way. And he was still trying to adjust, the sound of the spotlight and attention didn’t seem all that appealing. Besides, he didn’t think the folks of this new time cared much about an old relic like Captain America.

When he told Bucky and Peggy as much they just scoffed at him. “One thing you will find all humans do every century is praise the old relics,” Peggy told him. “You were already huge back during our years. All time has done is increase your fame and added to your legend. Trust us, Steve, if you were to get out there again with your star and shield the last thing that’ll happen is you getting ignored. The people will trip over themselves at the news of your return.”

“That’s the problem,” Steve admitted. “I don’t want the people tripping over themselves. I don’t want the attention or the fame or the monuments rising up because of my return.”

“A bit too late for the monuments,” Bucky cut in.

Steve ignored that, choosing not to believe that someone actually created a monument for him. “The country doesn’t need Captain America, or maybe it does, I don’t know, but I just can’t… not anymore. I don’t think I have it in me to put on the red, white and blue anymore.”

Understanding dawned on their faces. Whether they knew it was because of Tony or thought it was because of everything he had experienced, he didn’t know, but they understood he needed a break. It might have been years for the public since Captain America, but  for Steve it had only been weeks. Not long enough and not far away enough for him.

Bucky patted his arm. “We get it, Steve and it’s alright. You don’t have to put on your gear if you don’t want to. You’re not obligated to and nobody is forcing you. Captain America doesn’t have to return if you don’t want him to.”

“I still want to fight, though. I don’t think I will handle civilian life properly,” Steve sighed, looking at his hands.

“So you wish to become an agent, then?” Peggy guessed.

“Yeah, if you guys will have me.”

“Are you kidding?” Bucky dismissed. “The idea of you as an agent will have Fury and those stuck-up chair people drooling.”

“What James means to say is that of course you can join, Steven. S.H.I.E.L.D will happily open its doors to you,” Peggy gave Bucky a long, suffering look.

“Thank you,” Steve felt relief at that particular issue getting sorted out. Now that he had a purpose again he could continue on without feeling useless. “Thank you both so much.”

Bucky nodded. “Don’t mention it, Steve. We promised we would help you and we are. Besides, this might benefit us both. It’s been a long time since I worked with someone who can keep up with me.”

“Oh? It’s not the other way around? You sure _you_ can keep up with _me_?” Steve teased.

“I have years of experience on me. Good luck trying to beat me.”

“What about the Widow?” Peggy stopped them. “If I recall she managed to not only keep up but even got the drop on you. I didn’t hear the end of it after it happened. James whined day and night about it, wouldn’t let it go,” she said to Steve.

“That’s not true!” Bucky denied while at the same time Steve asked “Widow?”

“Black Widow,” Peggy answered. “She’s the best of the best here and has years’ worth more experience than James.”

“By only ten years,” Bucky crossed his arms and made a face that looked far too close to a pout.

“It’s more than that, Dear.”

Steve ignored their banter and focused on the name, intrigued by it. “Is Black Widow her title? Like Captain America is to me?”

“Basically,” Peggy nodded slowly. “Though her name isn’t meant to be flashed and praised in public. Natalia isn’t a big fan of press conferences or cameras.”

Steve thought it over. “If I become an agent will I end up using Captain America as my name?”

“No, Steven, unless you want to, otherwise you can chose another name for yourself. Preferably not your real name.”

“That’d be ridiculous,” Steve joked. “Do you both have names?”

“Of course. James uses the name Canary and I used to go by Agent 13. I passed the title over to my niece a few years ago and I now go by Mademoiselle.”

Steve looked curiously at Bucky, wanting to know the reason why he went by a name like Canary. He had expected something else, something dramatic or capable of being both a beacon of hope and at the same time able to shoot fear into enemies’ hearts, anything else, really. Bucky just shrugged and said “It’s a long story. You don’t want to know.”

Steve did wanted to know but he decided it was an answer for another day. Instead, he focused on another part that he hadn’t been informed about. “You have a niece?” She never mentioned it on the recording.

Pride filled her eyes. “I do. Her name is Sharon. Perhaps I’ll introduce you both one day. She’s been wanting to meet her uncle’s long lost best friend and the hero we always told her stories about.”

A strange negative feeling filled his chest and Steve had the sudden urge to cringe at the idea of meeting Peggy’s niece after hearing she wanted to see the legendary hero. No, Captain America was going to be put away in the darkest room imaginable and he was not coming out. Not for fans and not for nieces. He was being selfish by doing that but he figured he earned the right to be selfish. The country had survived for years without Captain America on the spotlight. It could survive a few more.

Besides, it wasn’t like Steve was abandoning the country completely. He was still going to help and serve, he was just going to do it behind the curtain, instead of in front of it, and with a different, less memorable name.

How did Nomad sound? Steve thought it perfect.

~~~

 

When Steve got the check that his body wasn’t going to suddenly shut down and his mental state wasn’t going to cause him to snap and charge down packed spaces and bulldoze over innocent bystanders the first thing he asked from Bucky and Peggy was to take him to see New York. He wanted to see all the changes and see how the city progressed and see the people that now walked the streets. But he didn’t want to go alone and risk overwhelming himself to the point of having a mental breakdown in the middle of a crowded city.

Both of them agreed, albeit with brief concern in their eyes, to take Steve out and show him small places near Headquarters first and later upgrade to the grand sights of New York, and maybe even one day back in Brooklyn. But not today.

Headquarters was already located smack center in a crowded block in Manhattan so just taking the first step out had Steve cracking his neck looking up and up because, gosh, the buildings were _huge_. His heart started beating faster at the sights and he found it wasn’t from being engulfed by the marvels of the future, but because of his excitement of the idea of finally witnessing what Bucky and Peggy spoke so extraordinarily about.

He wanted to see more, see the biggest building around and the different cars that drove left and right and the different people that walked the streets and he just wanted to see what he had given up and exchanged when the plane crashed. His old life might’ve been gone but the future didn’t seem so bad to explore, especially when he still had two pieces of his past experiencing it with him.

They showed him small restaurants they enjoyed and made him experience… raw fish. Although different it wasn’t that bad. Still, the cooked food the place provided more than made up for the odd experience. The chicken was amazing and he found himself carrying not leftovers but another entire order to go, only to feel guilty when he caught sight of the bill. He was causing Bucky and Peggy to spend a lot of money on him, but they reassured him it wasn’t an issue and that it was fine.

“Howard,” Peggy read his mind and answered his unasked question. “He was already rich during our time but when his business bloomed and reached multimillionaire he set up a share of it to go to us for personal and S.H.I.E.L.D business. I’d say spending it on you is a good reason for both. It’s fine, Steve, you’re hardly putting a dent in it. We hardly touch the money for anything besides getting new equipment, daily necessities and the occasional 5000 dollar shoes.”

Steve gaped at the last part. Bucky nodded seriously to confirm she was telling the truth. “The shoes are for her, by the way. Only expensive thing I bought was a suit for a recon, and that was only around 1000.”

That did not make it any better. Steve was left to gape and marvel at the fact that both Bucky and Peggy were rich… worth thousands, maybe even millions. A huge contrast to what little Steve and Bucky had back then, back in their time. Now that he thought about it he took notice of how different the three looked out in public. Steve was wearing a plain white shirt with khaki pants that were folded at the bottom that showed the corners of his long socks and his pointed shoes. Compared to Bucky’s purple buttoned down, long-sleeved dress shirt and blue jeans and Peggy’s sleeveless white top and black skirt that reached over her hips and down to hover just above her knees. Just the shirts themselves looked expensive and out of Steve’s payroll.

Steve felt outdated and out of place.

“Howard left a share for you as well,” Peggy revealed, leaving Steve boggling because… why? Why would Howard do that? He hardly talked to the man or interacted with him enough to consider him a friend. “In fact, I can’t believe we haven’t thought of this before. He left an item for you for when you’re finally found. Made us promise to personally give it to you the moment you were in the clear.”

“That’s right,” Bucky said with a face that meant he was shocked they hadn’t remembered sooner. “He left a box for you with us. If you feel you’re up for it we’ll give it to you when we come back. We still have to show you this place that has ice cream floats. You won’t believe the toppings you can add to your ice cream.”

Ice cream floats were the highlight of their walk around a small portion of the city and Steve found his favorite was the root beer one, coke being a close second. But while their journey was a huge success and Steve didn’t show signs of having a nervous breakdown, his mind kept spinning reasons as to why Stark would leave behind items for him. What could he have possibly left for Steve? Perhaps another shield, or a new weapon of some kind? Steve didn’t reveal anything to Stark for him to leave something he thought was sentimental or to go on a quest to find Steve’s old belongings and save them for him. The only things possible were the shield and weapons, and even then Steve didn’t really want to see them.

Still, like they promised, Bucky and Peggy went straight to a vault they claimed had the items Stark left behind for him, locked up and isolated until the moment it was ready to be revealed to the world. Steve didn’t go with them when they went to retrieve the box. He went straight to his guest room when they returned to Headquarters and placed his food in the miniature fridge (which Steve couldn’t believe it was truly that small) and sat on the bed to wait.

It didn’t take that long for them to enter his room with a small sized box in Bucky’s hands. It was small enough that Bucky could hold it on his hip and just have his arm lazily draped over it to prevent it from falling, and caused Steve’s original thought of a shield or weapon to get thrown out the window. The thing that left Steve giving the box a double-take was the fact that the box was made of steel. Pure, black dyed, steel with a fierce looking lock that no average man or woman was going to open on their own with bare hands.

Bucky handed the box over to Steve while Peggy reached out to click something on the lock and gave a twist, causing the top to pop open. A bit hesitant he pushed the top over to reveal the content inside.

“We’ll leave you on your own then,” Peggy said when they saw the old looking device inside.

“Guess Stark was determined to say something to you, no matter what. Left a message just for you to hear. Looks like nothing will stop that man when he has his eyes set on something,” Bucky praised. “Let us know when you’re done, Steve. We’ll be over in command.”

Steve could only nod as they walked out and left him to his device. Gingerly, he reached a hand down to lift it up and set it on the nightstand. When he did he found there was a note hidden under the heavy and brown body of the machine. Reading over the note his hand began to shake suddenly.

All the note had written on it was ‘ **To Steve Rogers** ,’ but it was the handwriting that had his hand shaking uncontrollably. He _knew_ that handwriting, but that wasn’t possible.

Quick as a flash he threw the note and box on the floor and sunk to his knees to stare at the device on the nightstand and gripped it in his hands. He looked it over, taking note of the dust it had built up over the years and the old style buttons and knobs. It was a device he had never before seen in his life, but it didn’t look to be made during the 21st century, so the only explanation was it was created sometime in-between the years, or was created by hand from someone who had the skill and brain to do so.

On the grey buttons there were words written on them with what looked like black marker. On a particularly large button the word ‘Play’ was on it and with a very shaky finger Steve pressed it.

_“Hello?”_

And his heart, and time, stopped.

That voice. It couldn’t be.

_“Hello? Is this thing recording?”_

_Tony_

_“Damn 40’s technology, barely had what I needed to make this thing. I can’t believe something I created is this unnecessarily huge. Hey to whoever is listening, I’m recording this in… damn, what’s the fucking month again? All this war happening everywhere I can’t even remember what day it is. It is 1943, that’s all you need to know. Now, if you’re not Steve kindly put stop and put this back to wherever you found it. I told Howard to only give it to Steve, not that he would listen anyway. For all I know you’re probably listening to this now, Howard. At least respect me enough to stop this before it gets further, that’s all I ask from you.”_

There was a pause.

_“If by some miracle Howard actually listened to me and you are Steve and you’re listening to this… well, it means it finally happened and I guess it’s time to say the truth.”_

There was another pause and Steve heard the recorded sigh from Tony. With shaky hands he pulled the device closer to him and tightened his grip it in desperation.

_“Steve,”_ the voice was soft. _“Steve. Hi, Steve. You’re listening to this so it means something’s happened to me. Either that or you found this recording by accident and I’m somewhere in another room while you’re listening to this behind my back, but since there isn’t any news about me, about Tony Rhodes in the future, odds are I’m dead and it doesn’t matter if you’re listening to this early. I died before you.”_

Another pause.

_“God, where do I even start? Steve there’s something that I have to say. I’m not who you think I am, or at least… I’m not from the time you are, is a better way of saying it. My name isn’t Tony Rhodes. My name, my full and real name, is Anthony Edward Stark. Tony Stark for short. I’m Howard Stark’s son…”_

He knew it. He _knew_ it! Howard Stark was his father. He was right.

He felt no victory from knowing that.

The recording continued.

_“I’m his son… from the future, surprise..!”_

...What?

_“I know what I’m saying sounds crazy but it’s the truth. It’s the only thing true about me, well, besides my age. I really was eighteen when you met me and nineteen now. I was born in 1980 and I can prove it with my birth certificate, but you’ll have to wait 37 years to see it, and you have to let yourself be found. You’ll see what I mean soon, you self-sacrificing ass._

_“So… I don’t really know where to start. I was born from Howard and Maria, my parents, and I grew up hearing stories about you, about Steve Rogers who became America’s first great hero, Captain America. Uncle Bucky and Aunt Peggy sure had a lot of stories to say about you.”_

Steve took a sharp intake of breath.

_“That’s right, Uncle Bucky and Aunt Peggy. Certain things happened and Bucky ended up getting lost, well actually you both end up getting lost, but Dad finds him first after a while and he marries Peggy. Yep, those two tie the knot together. Bucky somehow managed it. His attempt in the bar paid off, it looks like. Or something else happened that I didn’t see because I wasn’t there, who knows. They marry before I was born. They were the best and I loved them so much. They always told the best stories and made time for me, even when my own dad didn’t. After he found Bucky, Dad became obsessed with searching for you. Dad got a serious hero worship for you and wouldn’t give up, I don’t know why. He never really talked about you. It was mostly Bucky and Peggy that did. Then again he hardly talked to me so I wouldn’t know what he talked about._

_“Not that Dad made my life hell. It was close but life wasn’t that bad. Not when I had Bucky and Peggy, and Jarvis. Can’t forget Jarvis. He’s my - was - my butler. Awesome guy. Made the greatest pancakes ever. When Bucky or Peggy didn’t have time for me Jarvis was always there. He let me be a kid. I think at one point I actually ran around without clothes and Jarvis had to chase me down like one of those stupid sitcoms. I saw him more of a dad then Dad. Sucks that he had to go away - passed away - before I could.... never mind, this isn’t what you want to hear. I should probably talk about the truth.”_

Steve looked desperately at the recording, wanting Tony to keep talking. To talk about Bucky and Peggy and keep going about Jarvis. Tony sounded happy, sounded content when he spoke about them. It was a happy memory for him. Steve wanted to keep hearing his voice.

_“I don’t know what happened, honestly, but I do know it was you that was the reason for it. It was from all the stories I heard about you. Uncle Bucky and Aunt Peggy always talked about you with happy faces. It was smiles and laughter and Steve this and Steve that, but the thing was the stories weren’t only about you. They also talked about Tony.”_

There was a snort and the sounds of a hand slamming against a hard surface.

_“Obviously back then I didn’t know the Tony they were talking about was actually me. I only knew that Steve Rogers fell in love with a guy called Tony. According to Uncle Bucky’s stories this Tony lived with them and had an epic romance with Captain America. Aunt Peggy would go on and on about how Steve wouldn’t leave Tony’s side and Tony wouldn’t let Steve go off to battle alone. They were desperately in love during a war. It was a bad romance novel, really, but they made it sound like the greatest thing that could happen to Captain America. I wanted to hear these stories all the time. Each time they visited I always begged to hear the tales. I was named after this famous Tony, you know? Something Howard did to honor you and him. Funny how years later I find out I was named after myself. Howard named his son after his son, stupid, right?_

_“I always wanted to hear the stories. I wasn’t a sap for romance but every time I heard ‘Steve and Tony’ I always imagined… I always dreamed it was me Tony and not that Tony. It was me and you, together, fighting in the war. I had you all to myself. I was the one who wouldn’t let you go alone and it was me you were always protecting, always holding and saying ‘I love you’ to. I wanted it so much that I started resenting it. I started hating Tony for having Captain America as his lover and I started hating you because, no matter how much I dreamed, there was no way I could have ever been with you. We all thought you were never going to be found and that you’re actually dead and long gone and I had lost my chance. Even if you were still alive and we found you around that time I still wouldn’t have the chance because of Tony Rhodes. I hated you for loving another Tony and I hated you for always making Uncle Bucky and Aunt Peggy all sad and teary eyed. I hated that I couldn’t have you and I wanted to hate you for the rest of my life, but I couldn’t._

_“I loved you too much, even before I knew what love was. Bucky and Peggy loved you, too, and I couldn’t stand watching them talk about you with those fake happy smiles. I got desperate and instead of thinking real science I started thinking fantasy and science fiction. Time Machine, Back to the Future, even fucking Soldier From Tomorrow, anything I got my hands on. I wanted to bring you back to them, snatch you up just before you crashed in the ice, or at least know where exactly you crashed so I could go look for you. Nobody knew what I was doing, not even Bucky or Peggy. Dad sent me away at fourteen to attend college on my own and after graduating he wouldn’t let me return. Bucky and Peggy never visited me. I don’t think they knew where I was, which was stupid since they were kick-ass spies and assassins, but I think I have Dad to thank for that. Dad locked me away and threw the key. I could have returned on my own but partying was so much fun and I was being an idiot and wanted to drink my love for a dead hero away._

_“At one point I snapped and screwed up pretty bad because I had to have some Air Force - or was it Marine? - hot-shot help me from getting pummeled to death from some drunken jackasses. Safe to say the hot-shot wouldn’t leave me alone when he heard that was my daily life. He wanted me to change my lifestyle and have a future. He didn’t know I was fucking Tony Stark. My future was already set. I liked him, though. He had that soldier vibe that reminded me of Bucky and I somehow imagined that was how you would act if I ever met you in person. At one point I thought maybe he was going to help me get over you, create this image of the famous Steve Rogers and give me reasons to hate you, but he became his own person and you were still a mystery and the fantasy I loved. Hot-shot became another stern uncle who kept tabs on me and became this mother hen. James Rhodes was his name, if you’re wondering. It’s also where I got Rhodes from. Rhodey was my only friend and family during those years Dad sent me away. He became a Jarvis, at least that’s what it felt like. I built JARVIS around that time and Rhodey basically became JARVIS’s physical hands when the cranky AI thought I was doing something dangerous or skipped lunch or haven’t slept in 48 hours. JARVIS is an AI I created after my human Jarvis. Don’t mix the two up._

_“You need to meet them both, Steve. JARVIS, as in AI JARVIS, and Rhodey. I get the feeling you three might get along. But even with Rhodey and JARVIS watching my every move I still managed to build the machine.”_

There was a sharp intake from Tony’s side and Steve found himself breathing along, not realizing he had been holding his breath.

_“Long story short, what I built apparently worked because one second I was in my lab - one from the house Dad sent me away to - and the next I hear beeping and JARVIS shouting danger. I wake up in this really old town I thought was a set for a movie but nope, turns out I ended up in the real 1940’s with nothing on me but the clothes I was wearing on that day. That’s when you found me, Steve. You became every bit the hero Bucky and Peggy said, even before the serum. I wanted to hate you the first time you told me your name. I wanted to punch Tony Rhodes if I ever met him for managing to win you, you and your small and adorable self and I just couldn’t believe they would put those eyes on you. I wanted to ruin the famous and tragic love story of Steve and Tony, but then you asked for my name. I knew I couldn’t say I was a Stark, eventually you were going to meet my Dad and that would’ve been an awkward conversation. Instead, I said what I said and the pieces just fell and clicked together. I didn’t even realize it. Rhodey was the last person I talked to before the 40’s took over and so he was the first name I thought of for a last name. I wasn’t even thinking about Steve and Tony, not until after I said Rhodes and then I just knew._

_“I knew what was going to happen, I just didn’t’ know how. I knew I was going to live with you. I knew you and Bucky were going to be best friends with me. I knew I wasn’t going to return back home and I knew it was me you were going to have your epic love story with. It terrified me because I didn’t know how it was going to happen. One wrong move and I could change the entire future. One wrong move and I could lose my chance with Steve Rogers forever._

_“God, Steve, you don’t know how much it meant to me when you first said you liked me. Everything I dreamed of, everything I wanted from the stories, it was all happening. I was the famous Tony Rhodes. It was all me. Bucky and Peggy were talking about me the whole time and then everything Howard did somehow made sense. All his pained looks when he saw me. The reason why he named me after Captain America’s lover when Howard hardly talked about the guy. Howard knew. I know he did because I’m going to leave him a recording, too, so there’s no way he won’t have an idea about it. Now, whether he believes it or not I have no idea, but he must believe something because he kept me away from the general public and Uncle Bucky and Aunt Peggy and the only reason I can think of why he did so is because...”_

“Bucky and Peggy would have recognized you,” Steve said along with the recording, not believing it.

_“I don’t know what Dad hoped to accomplish by keeping it all a secret. He could have stopped it. He could have told us, but how would that change everything? We wouldn't have our epic love story and maybe other things would or wouldn’t have happened... Do we want Howard to stop it?”_

“No,” Steve faintly whispered. If Howard had somehow stopped Tony from going to his time then Steve would have never met him or have fallen in love. Tony became someone important and Steve would rather have experienced it, even with the heartbreak, than never had known what life was like without the genius.

_“Steve, I’m sorry for not telling you, but would you have believed me if I did?”_

Steve eyed the machine in despair, eyes shining with tears and his sight becoming blurry. He honestly didn’t know the answer to that. Now that he was hearing all of this and had experienced time jumping first hand it was easy to believe it, but if Tony had revealed everything back then, back when everything seemed so simple and normal, Steve would have done something that landed the genius in a mental hospital.

“ _Steve_ ,”

Tony’s voice sounded so real, as if he was sitting right next to him and talking.

_“Steve Rogers,”_

Tony was talking directly to him.

“Tony,” he answered, hoping with all his heart that Tony was somehow hearing him.

_“I… I love you, Steve. I always have. From the moment I was able to understand what Bucky and Peggy were saying I have loved you. Don’t ever forget that and don’t ever doubt it. The story of Steve and Tony ends with Tony dying first. I know this, I feel it. It’s going to happen. I don’t know when and I don’t know how but it’s going to be soon. Bucky never specified and Peggy never dared to reach that part. It’s probably Howard’s play in it. Making them promise not to say every single detail. Can’t blame him for it. I can’t even be mad. Is it weird to say I’m happy they never explained how Tony Rhodes died? I don’t want to know how I died. Maybe I die doing something heroic? Or maybe I just drop dead from a sniper or an explosion. I just hope I don’t die in front of you, Steve. I don’t want you remembering that. I want… I want you to move on. You and Bucky will disappear together, but Bucky will be found later, still alive, meaning you’re still alive and you’re playing hard to find. Come back to them, Steve. I won’t return to them but you still can. Go back to their side and go be Captain America again and save everyone. Be their hero and find yourself another Tony Rhodes.”_

From the other end Steve heard the voice grow steadily faint and shakier until a soft but broken sob signaled its reaching point.

_“I… I want to be selfish - God, I want to be so selfish and tell you to never forget me, to never let me go, but that’s not fair for you. It will never be fair for you. It fucking hurts so much, Steve. It’s just… why? I got everything I ever wanted and it’s being ripped away from under me and it’s just so fucking **unfair** -” _

The sob grew louder until it was loud intakes of watery breaths through the mouth and nose. Only until he calmed down enough to speak without his voice cracking did Tony continue.

_“My dream came true and that’s all I could ever ask for, and I’m so grateful for it. But yours is still out there, waiting for you to find it.”_

Steve’s throat closed up and he felt himself choke, tears trailing down his cheeks. He put a hand over his mouth and nose and closed his eyes, bowing his head. “You became my dream.”

_“I will always love you, Steve. Always. I… please… don’t forget… don’t wait for me. I love you.”_

The sound of static broke through and faint background noise echoed on Tony’s part until it became completely silent.

“I love you, too, Tony,” Steve wept just as the recording stopped and deafening silence filled the room. “I love you, I love you, I love you. Please, Tony, I love you. Tony… Tony… T-Tony.”

The recorder made no sound, marking the end. Tony’s last message he was to ever share. His last attempt to reach out and Steve couldn’t respond.

“I love you, I love you -” Steve repeated, over and over again like a mantra. Even when the minutes stretched to hours he continued.

Tony Rhodes. His Tony Rhodes, who was actually Tony Stark, a man from the future. He was a man out of his time, just like Steve, and if Steve wasn’t busy trying to mend his heart he would have laughed at the irony of it. They were the same. Both men out of time and they somehow created a story together. Both men who experienced the impossible and stood side by side against all odds. Both men who loved each other and were forced apart. Tony, who grew up hearing stories about a dead soldier, and Steve, who heard the story about a man from the future from the dead man himself.

The rewind button of the old device taunted him and Steve pressed it with defeat. The little whine of the tape spinning filled the room before it clicked to a stop.

_“Hello? Hello? Is this thing recording? Damn 40’s technology -”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! I read every single comment from you guys, even if I don't reply to them (more often than not when I'm reading them I'm busy doing something else and am unable to reply. when I do find the time it's already been like two or three days past and I turn into a coward because of how long it took me to have the time.) 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes!


	7. The Carters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update! Vacation may mean taking a small break for a while but in reality vacation for me is an excuse for my family to drag me everywhere. I swear I spent most of my vacation in a car driving back and forth to places.  
> But I managed to find some time in-between trips! Here you go.
> 
> Pssst, I forgot to put this in. Listen to 'Broken' by Lifehouse while reading this.  
> And for sads listen to 'Just a Dream' by Carrie Underwood and picture it completely in Steve's perspective.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” Bucky growled as he paced back and forth in Steve’s guest room, too small to even manage a fifth step before having to turn around to avoid walking straight into the wall and repeating the process again. “This is no time for jokes, Steve. That shit isn’t funny.”

Steve, who was sitting on the edge of his bed with the recorder clutched in his hands, took no offense to his friend’s outburst and denial. Instead, he lifted his gaze from the ground and looked to Bucky in silent plea, lifting the device and offering it to him with shaky, unbalanced hands. “It’s true, Buck. He… he left this… for me. He explained everything. You can - you can hear it… so you can believe me.”

At one point the shaking became too much and the device tilted dangerously to the side and away from Steve’s grip, almost falling to the ground, but another set of small, gentle hands grabbed it and pulled it away from him. Peggy appeared in his sight, device in her hands and Steve watched as she placed it on the nightstand, noticing how her own hands were shaking as well.

“We believe you, Steve. We do, but right now we’re trying to grasp and understand how this happened,” Peggy said with evident tremble in her voice.

“Tony’s a genius,” Steve’s voice sounded raw and tired. As expected after he cried for almost three hours straight listening to the recording over and over again. “Is it really a surprise he managed the impossible? I mean, look at us, look at what Stark - Ho-Howard managed…! Tony - Tony, he… he…”

“He went back in time to us and made everything happen,” Peggy finished, saying out loud what none of them dared to.

“Fucking dammit!” A loud, mechanical whirring and a thump followed by a low vibrating echo and they turned to see Bucky with his silver bionic arm stretched out against the wall in what looked like an aftermath of a punch. On the wall there was an obvious dent. Bucky was breathing heavily and his brows were so furrowed and low that he looked beyond mad, bordering on the edge of downright murderous. “Don’t fucking tell me that Tony is the same person. Don’t just sit there and tell me that!”

“James…”

“Buck -” 

“No! If all of that is true, if that stupid recording isn’t a fucking messed up prank by some sick bastard out there, then it means we didn’t just see him die once, we saw him die twice, and _we_ killed him!”

Steve’s breathing quickened, “That’s not tru-”

“It is!” Bucky shouted back with such intensity that if Steve hadn’t been already sitting he would have fallen flat on his behind from the sheer force of it. “We could have done something, we could have done _anything_ , but we didn’t! It’s our own damn fault for not even realizing it, and I _knew_ , I fucking _knew_ , he looked so familiar, he was a fucking look-alike, and I didn’t do shit to stop it,” Bucky turned to them, his anger and rage still evident but also the start of sorrow and despair.

“James,” Peggy’s voice was shockingly calm, considering the break down that was occurring around her. Her voice may have been steady, but she didn’t look any better than Bucky. With a hand on Steve’s left leg to help support her back on her feet she took two trembling steps to the distressed silver-armed soldier. “James,” she repeated in a more sedated tone, one that suggested defeated acceptance, “What could we have done?”

“Anything,” Bucky’s voice lowered, matching his crumbling face as he continued. “We could have stopped him from messing with time, could have locked him away from his toys or kept an eye on him, ground him from touching anything electronic! We could have discouraged him from building a machine to jump time, we could have stopped him by not fucking talking about Captain America and Tony Rhodes!”

Peggy, in an extraordinary show of courage, slowly walked closer to the shaken man who looked like he was on the tipping edge of lashing out and going on a vengeful rampage against the world. As she got closer she reached out her hands and stopped her steps when they were a lash away from him, patiently holding them there for Bucky. Bucky stared at her hands and then at her, locking their eyes together for what felt like minutes until he reached out his own and gently grasped them, anguish painted on his face.

The same emotion reflected on Peggy’s own. “We couldn’t have done anything, not back then, not when we didn’t know, no matter how much we want it right now.”

“We could have,” Bucky repeated, the low monotone a huge contrast to his furious shouting that happened not a minute ago.

On the surface of tan, smooth skin, swirled with specks of black mascara, a single tear slid down Peggy’s cheek, reaching her jaw and following the edge to reach her chin. Her eyes were glossy and red and the soft brown of them darkened to almost pitch black. The corners of her lips rose just slightly in a show that looked to be a reflex, a smile that was anything but happy. “We couldn’t have,” she repeated, resigned and ending any attempt at more denial.

After a long moment Bucky finally accepted it and gave a short nod, ducking his head forward to rest it on Peggy’s shoulder and burying his face on her neck. He let go of her hands and placed them on her hips while she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held him close, burying her own face on his neck. Both their shoulder began shaking and watching it happen zapped the non-existing strength Steve had and caused him to turn away and hide his face in his hands to avoid the sight.

To see Bucky and Peggy like that, to see them so emotionally vulnerable, was something that should had never happened, not to Steve, not something for him to have witnessed. This was Bucky, his best friend who looked out for him, who protected him, who tried to set him up on countless dates and accepted him for who he was and even accepted who he showed interest for and fought alongside a war with him.

And Peggy, the fiery dame who, from what Steve had seen during their time working together, took no nonsense from anyone and knew exactly what she wanted and worked twice as hard as any man to get it, who never hesitated and never backed down and did what she believed was right while still keeping her feminine beauty and using it as an advantage.

Bucky was a stone, a supporting wall, and Peggy was a force not to be messed with, but to see them like this, to see them so intimately, made Steve realized that he wasn’t the only one suffering. He wasn’t the only one who felt cheated by the world for taking his Tony from him.

When they had first lost him, Steve suffered the loss of a lover and Bucky the loss of a younger brother. Peggy suffered the loss of a soldier, an almost complete stranger, but nothing as deep as what Steve and Bucky had gone through. But now… years of watching Tony growing up, telling him stories and giving him hugs and treating him as their own son… they were suffering. One truly suffering for the first time and the other suffering all over again, perhaps even worse than ever before.

Steve’s wound was still fresh.

Bucky’s wound had just reopened.

Peggy’s wound was just made.

No, Steve was wrong, Bucky and Peggy hadn’t healed and moved on and he wasn’t the only one still grieving.

A sharp intake of breath and the sounds of footsteps and Steve lifted his head just in time to see the back of Bucky’s head before he was out the room and the door closed. Peggy remained where she was standing, closing her eyes and tilting her head up to face the ceiling and wrapping her arms around herself.

“Bucky…?” Steve barely managed to whisper, but Peggy still heard him.

“Needs some time alone. He’ll return to us when he’s ready, but right now he just needs to handle this his own way,” she said without looking at him.

“I get it. I kind of feel like going up to the gym and punching something.”

That earned him a faint smirk and Peggy turned to him. “That’s where he’s at right now, most likely. When James is upset he either goes to the gym, punches about ten bags clean off their chains or goes to the shooting range.

“Sounds like Bucky.”

A moment of silence passed where she continued to stare at him, at least that’s what Steve thought she was doing, but it wasn’t until he actually took notice of where her gaze was landing that he figured out she wasn’t looking at him but at the recording she had removed from his hands and placed on the nightstand. Steve looked at the thing with mixed emotions. One half of him wanted to push play again just to hear Tony’s voice again and again until he had it engraved and there was no possible way he could ever forget. The other half wanted to fling the small machine at the wall and watch it smash to pieces, hoping to gain some sort of satisfaction from destroying the physical embodiment of what time took from him.

Either way it caused a sharp pain in his chest.

“Do you want to listen….? Hear his voice and make sure everything I just said is true?” Steve turned to ask her.

“No, no… that’s meant for you, Steve. Anthony left that only for you. It would be wrong to intrude and go against his wishes,” Peggy quickly said.

“He talked about you. And about Bucky. He really loved you both.”

Peggy’s eyes brightened. “We know he did. Anthony wasn’t the most opened child when it came to emotions because of the environment he grew up in, but when it was just us, just James, Jarvis and I, he revealed everything and shared them to us as if they were his most well-kept secrets. He trusted us to keep them safe, loved us enough to share. There is no doubt in my mind that he did, no doubt. My only fear is that perhaps it wasn’t a two way street.”

“What do you mean?”

“Even though we told that boy every day, growing up with a mother that was almost non-existent in the picture and a father who was obsessed with his work and persistent in searching for you doesn’t exactly inspire confidence in believing when someone truly cares.” Peggy took steps towards the bed and sat next to Steve. “I’m not going to say I don’t blame them, because I do, but not everyone is prepared for parenting. Maria was a lovely girl, but she just wasn’t ready. And Howard? Had that man put down his wrenches for a damn minute he would’ve been a decent father. Their worst crimes against Anthony were ignoring him, that’s it. Perhaps not as bad as physical abuse but still just as damaging. Growing up thinking you’re not important enough for your own parents to notice you…” she trailed off.

Steve understood what she was trying to explain. If your own parents, who were supposed to care and love you, don’t bother paying any attention to you, who will? Who would bother to?

This was something he didn’t want to hear. If Tony didn’t believe someone would genuinely care for him, did that mean he hadn’t truly believed Steve loved him?

In all their time together there were never any signs about it. Tony acted so carefree and young and never once showed he had issues with trusting if someone meant it when they said they liked him. He had so much confidence and wasn’t afraid to express himself, or at least that was what it seemed like to Steve.

Was it all a play? Was Tony’s confidence just a ruse to hide behind?

“You’re wondering if everything you saw that made Anthony was real or if it was all an act, aren’t you?” Peggy asked, reading his mind.

Steve had the decency to look embarrassed for being so obvious that even Peggy saw right through what he was thinking. “I don’t want to imply anything.”

Peggy reached out to place a hand on his arm. “You’re not. After everything you just heard no one blames you for having a doubt or two.”

“I’m not - I’m not doubting, I’m just… overthinking. I mean, you’re afraid he might have doubted anyone caring for him, but what I saw, the way he acted, he never clued in anything about that. He never looked to have assumed it.”

“That is James’ and my doing in it. With Anthony, he’s not going to believe it on the first day he meets you, or the first week, maybe even the first month or after two, but if you keep pushing, if you’re determined enough to not give up until he finally believes it, he will eventually know it’s true. It shows in his character when he feels comfortable and when he doesn’t.” Peggy stared at the wall in front of them, something crossing her mind. “It’s curious, really.”

“What is?”

“How Anthony never hesitated in accepting your love. From what James had told in his tales, Tony Rhodes never once doubted Steve Rogers. If anything it was Tony who had to convince Steve he loved him,” without turning her head Peggy gave him a cheeky stare with a matching smirk.

Steve gave a weak chuckle. “Given how I used to look I didn’t exactly grew up confident. For what it's worth, he didn’t need to do much to convince me.”

“And it appears you didn’t need to do much to convince him. Given his circumstances that’s a miracle on its own, but then again perhaps our attempts had more effect than we thought.”

“Had more effect?” Steve repeated, staring at her curiously.

She returned his gaze. “We told him stories. Bedtime stories, comfort stories, stories he asked for the moment he saw us, about one Steve Rogers and Tony Rhodes and their battles together, stopping HYDRA, fighting alongside the Howling Commandos, and the love they shared. Clearly we couldn’t say everything, explain every single detail, some things were not meant for a child to hear, but one thing we never failed to say every time was how true the relationship was. Obviously I couldn’t know how deep it truly was since I wasn’t there to witness it in the beginning like James did, but just from that glimpse I saw when we were at that bar, just that tiny glimpse and I knew. It went further than what I understood in those years. That love you shared, I couldn’t come close to grasping it, let alone know how it felt. Not back then. Not until James re-appeared and I got to experience it firsthand.”

A bit overwhelmed from what he was hearing Steve reached for the hand on his arm and grasped it gently, hoping to convey what he couldn’t explain in words in response to what he was feeling. It was one thing to hear it casually from a recording, to be told that his love life became what was essentially equivalent to a fairy tale told to a child, it was another to hear it from the very person who had done it, and expressed with such emotion and go further into detail. Peggy understood, she knew how it felt, and because she knew the bedtime stories she had told were more than just the scratch of the surface. She went under, she explained the deeper aspect of what love meant.

The fairy tale had deeper meaning, true emotion, and because of that Tony didn’t hesitate when he was living it. He already knew the basics of how it was meant to be felt. All he was missing was experiencing it. And when he did he dove right in without a second glance.

Against his will a small thought appeared, a small hesitation, a guilty doubt. Did Tony fall in love with him because he knew he was meant to? Did he blindly accepted it because he wanted to live through what he grew up hearing about?

The thought caused him to open his mouth without thinking and question a relationship he never once imagined he would ever do. “Did he fall in love with the Steve in the story only?” Fear clutched at his heart.

As if sensing it Peggy placed her free hand on his cheek, her thumb rubbing gently on his cheekbone as if attempting to sooth the thought away. “Anthony might have learned to do so from hearing the stories about Steve Rogers, but he fell in love with _you_.” Her eyes began to glisten again as she said the next part. “He did the impossible and went back in time to reach you and willingly lived through it, and instead of changing his fate he kept everything the same, knowing his life was going to end, just to stand by your side.”

Shame, guilt, anger and sorrow crossed him. Shame for having the thoughts come to him in the first place, guilt for almost believing them, anger at himself for forgetting the sacrifice Tony had gone through to be with him, and sorrow for realizing how much Tony had _done_ for him.

What had Steve done to deserve someone who would do so much just for him?

The familiar tingle he was becoming far too familiar with started in his eyes and his vision slowly blurred. Swallowing down the stinging sensation in his throat he lowered his head and leaned down. Peggy’s hand gently guided him to rest his forehead on her shoulder, keeping it on the back of his head and running her fingers through his hair. Her other hand wrapped around his neck, encouraging him to return the action and clinging to her for dear life.

The soft noises coming from her were enough to tell him he wasn’t the only one crying.

Steve lost track of time afterwards. It was probably an hour of them both just holding each other before responsibility and obligations reared up their heads and they were reminded that time moved on and others required their assistance, or more accurate they required Peggy’s assistance. Her phone had rang and she answered with a brief but straight to the point conversation.

When the call ended, almost reluctantly, Peggy pulled away from the embrace and dabbed her eyes and cheeks with a white cloth she had pulled out from somewhere in her outfit. Without using a mirror she was basically guessing on which part of her face was smeared with make-up and ruined by her tears. When she finished what she believed were all the smudges she looked expectantly to Steve. “How do I look?”

Steve grabbed the cloth and wiped a spot just below her eye at the side and nodded approvingly when he was done. “Beautiful as ever.”

Peggy chuckled, making her nose scrunch up charmingly before taking the cloth and neatly folding it. “Flattery will get you everywhere, Steven Rogers.”

“I’ll remember that.”

“Well, duty calls. As much as I’d love to dedicate this day just for him there is a pressing matter growing by the hour that I need attending to.” From the way her eyes darkened Steve knew it had pained her to say that, even more so moving to stand and go straight to work during a time of mourning.

“There’s no one else that can look into it in your place?”

“I’m afraid not,” she said tiredly. “This has been building up for years and any moment now it might come crashing down on us. Besides, I could use the distraction.”

Distraction. Yeah, that sounded like a good idea. Something to keep his mind off of… he could use a distraction on that moment. Keep him moving… just like Tony had wanted him to do.

“Do you need help…? Maybe?” Steve asked, one tone away from pleading.

Peggy, thankfully, noticed, but wanted to do right by him by saying “Don’t jump headfirst into anything, Steve. Take a moment for yourself until you’re absolutely sure you’re ready.”

Not knowing how to answer all Steve could do was nod unsurely. Peggy accepted it, lifted her thumb to run it under his eye and wipe away a dried tear trail before leaning down and kissing his forehead. “For all its worth, I’m happy he chose you, Steve. He deserved the best and no one else could ever, and never will, come close.”

Pride filled him and Steve felt honored at hearing those words. Their time was cut short and their chance to live the rest of their lives together ripped away from their hands, but from what little they had Steve was going to cherish it, and hearing Peggy say Tony deserved the best, deserved Steve, made him think that perhaps he managed to make it just as memorable for the genius, as the genius made it for him.

“Thank you,” he said and meant it.

“With that being said, I know it’s almost seventy years overdue, but if I hear from James that you hurt my little boy in any way, or made him cry, I will hunt you down, Steve Rogers, and nobody will ever find your body.”

A chill ran down Steve’s spine from the vicious and icy tone Peggy used and a rush of fear quickly followed. He nodded and swallowed heavily.

With a final pat on his cheek Peggy turned and walked out of Steve’s room, leaving him alone to contemplate the many ways she could kill him and make it so nobody noticed a missing S.H.I.E.L.D agent. He shivered at the thoughts and swore never to get on Peggy’s bad side.

~~

 

After Peggy had left the rest of the day went by without Steve hardly noticing it. A good portion of it was spent just sitting on his S.H.I.E.L.D issued bed staring at the recording device distractedly. His eyes were on the aged surface and he took in some new details each time he re-focused enough to notice them, but other than that he just stared blindly at it, his mind somewhere else, completely occupied with trying to figure out…

What next?

What was his next step?

Peggy wanted him to take a moment for himself, but the thing was he already had plenty of moments. In fact, he had too many moments. Sleeping in the ice, paralyzed and monitored in a sterile room for days, given more days for therapy and even more for ‘preparation’ until someone who handled missions finally decided he was ready to get out and face the dark and secretive part of the world to help.

He’s had nothing but time.

And to be given more time?

What was he going to do with it? If anything time was the last thing he wanted, needed.

Time alone led to remembering and remembering led to pain.

No, what he needed was a distraction. A distraction was the only thing he could think of that would help him. The only thing that would keep him from thinking at all.

He needed to get back on his feet, to do something, anything, helpful. The only thing that would keep his mind busy and keep him physically occupied was actually going out and doing what he did best: fighting.

He wasn’t going to be Captain America though, not now at least. Maybe one day, or maybe never again, only the future would tell what would become of the title, but on that moment Captain America was on standby, and Nomad needed his first mission to rise. And in order for that to happen he needed to get out there, needed an assignment.

Steve sighed when he realized he needed to convince Peggy he was ready to head out on the field.

If he was going to move on this was the first step.

With a heavy heart and shaky legs he stood, grabbed the recording and raised it to his lips, giving it a gentle kiss before opening the nightstand and placing it carefully inside as if it was made from glass and closed it. He straightened his back took in a long breath and turned around, heading for the door.

His first destination was the gym. While it was probably a good idea to find Peggy as soon as possible to begin convincing her to send him out he wanted to make sure Bucky was alright. Although Bucky didn’t share the same emotions he felt for Tony he knew he cared about the genius in his own way. They had started off shaky, and on more than one occasion Bucky would have wanted nothing more than to get rid of Tony when they first took him in, but as time went on a friendship was made and rather quickly that friendship turned to family ties. Tony became a little brother and years later became a son. Which, now that Steve thought about it, was probably something odd, considering this was his best friend of the same age and his lover just a few years younger playing a father and son role, but, honestly? Steve didn’t care.

Bucky already gave Tony the ‘hurt my best friend and I will bury you’ shovel talk years ago. All that was missing was for Bucky to give him the ‘hurt my son and I will end you’ shovel talk that was long overdue. And since Peggy had already given her talk it was only a matter of time before he got Bucky’s. All Steve had to do was find his best friend and make sure he was alright.

He marched to the gym where Peggy had said Bucky had gone with both blindness and with purpose but once he went through the doors he found no known souls occupying the gym. There was no Bucky anywhere but there was a figure just past the doors and standing right in front of Steve. Her back was turned to him but the moment she heard the loud clanks of doors opening she turned to face him. Her dirty golden hair shined under the dim lights of the gym and Steve was momentarily thrown back at the familiarity of the brown eyes she carried.

What was it about brown eyes that always had him noticing?

As if Steve didn’t know the answer to that already.

The dame looked him over. In her arms she held what looked to be stacks of papers with a folder taking up the front. When Steve got his bearings back he chuckled awkwardly. “Pardon me, I was looking for someone who was here. You haven’t seen him around by any chance, have you?”

She gave a brief smile before answering, “No, not at all. As a matter of fact I’m looking for someone who’s supposed to be here, too. What does yours look like?”

Steve couldn’t help himself when he said “Grumpy looking with a constant frown and a weak chin. He’s a one arm kind of man. Sound familiar?” It was an opening he couldn’t ignore.

She chuckled, shaking her head and causing some of the golden strands to cover a side of her face. “Bucky will kill you if he finds out you said that.”

“You know Bucky?”

“Of course. He was a constant presence growing up. The man couldn’t be ignored.”

“You grew up with Bucky?” Steve felt his eyebrows rise in confusion.

“Seeing as he’s my uncle it’s almost a guarantee he is present.” She offered her hand in greeting. “Sharon Carter, Agent 13 and Peggy Carter’s niece, well, actually it’s more like Peggy Carter-Barnes’ niece. Nice to finally meet you, Captain.”

Steve cringed at the title but accepted the hand. Now that he noticed it the twinkle in her eyes he was having a hard time identifying that was present from the moment she had finished studying him looked an awful lot like excitement. The kind of excitement meant to be present when someone was about to meet a person they had heard so much about in person for the first time.

Now that he realized this was Sharon Carter, the very niece Peggy had mentioned with pride in her eyes, he found himself anticipating how this conversation and meeting was going to go. But at the same time he was a little hesitant. After all, this was Peggy’s niece that grew up hearing about Captain America, what would she think of him? What would she expect?

“Steve, please,” he said once he let go of the offered hand.

“Steve,” Sharon repeated.

“So what brings you looking for Bucky? Is he in trouble?”

“Not at all, or at least not yet anyway.” Sharon lifted her arm holding the stacks of papers to gesture to them. “Aunt Peggy sent me down here to collect him. He’s needed for a mission brief, but it seems he went ahead and left without letting us know. Aunty is going to be mad when I tell her,” she shook her head in pity. “Poor soul.”

Steve laughed at that, feeling a sort of relief from actually managing so. He liked her style, he really did. It reminded him of the characteristics present in all the loved ones he had, which, when he thought about it, was a given, seeing as she was the niece of Peggy and she grew up with Bucky as an uncle. It was almost a guarantee it had happened. 

“In other words he’s in big trouble,” he said with a grin.

“Monumental trouble.”

Was it mean to say he almost couldn’t wait to see that happen? The thought of seeing Bucky get plastered on the couch by his wife was a comical sight he never thought would happen. Bucky and wife in the same sentence… it was a reminder of how time had really gone ahead and left him behind, and if he wanted to catch up with it he needed to start moving, instead of staying in the past and watching his new life go by without him.

He was going to move on, just as Tony wanted him to.

With newfound determination he straightened his back and looked forward. First things first, he needed to get out in the field, and Sharon presented a perfect opportunity to get involved. “This mission that Bucky has, what’s involved?”

Sharon eyed him curiously before smirking, “Sorry, Steve, but Peggy’s told me not to get you involved, and that means sharing information. You need time for yourself.”

Steve gave his best attempt at charming, remembering how Bucky and Tony looked and acted when they had done so. “I think it’s safe to say I’ve had plenty of time for myself, nearly seventy years’ worth of it. This is my best friend, I’m just worried about him. From what I’ve seen and was told things have changed a lot, including the missions, and the dangers had probably doubled to things I’ve never imagined.”

“Well, you’re not wrong there. Missions now have certainly changed over the years. Makes the stuff the Howling Commandos experience look like kiddy play, no offense.”

He shrugged. “None taken. With the technology now I’d be more shocked if nothing had changed at all. I’d like to go out there and do something about it. Know what Bucky and Peggy are facing, what you’re facing.”

“Steve,” she looked sadden as she said this, “I get you want to head out there and get back in the field. I’m pretty sure agents left and right would swoon to get the chance to work with you, let alone see you in action. But Peggy wants you to rest.”

“I appreciate she wants to look out for me. Who knows where I’d be if she or Bucky weren’t here helping me out, but I know what I need right now and that’s not more rest or time alone. I need something to do. I need the adrenaline… to help forget. I need familiar scenery. Please, Sharon.”

She bit her bottom lip and looked to be having an internal battle on whether to tell him anything or nothing at all about the mission. She hesitated before saying “I can’t go against Peggy. I gave her my word.”

Steve slumped, sighing. He was so close. Maybe if he tried the famous USO smile that seemed to win almost everyone over. At least from the female side.

“Before you try the famous Steve Rogers charm let me just say I’ll see what I can do.”

Steve blinked, distracted by the smile and mischievous glance she was giving him.

“I’ll talk to aunty, see if I can convince her to at least share information. No promises, though.”

Steve felt relief wash over him and he grinned at her, nearly giving in on his impulse to hug her as a thank you but managed to stay in place.

Sharon ducked her head and studied her stack of papers. “I’m sorry for cutting this short but I better get going and tell Aunty. Wouldn’t want to keep her waiting.”

She began walking towards the doors, stopping briefly next to him to say “It was nice finally meeting the man I’ve heard so much about. Perhaps I’ll start to know Steve Rogers another time when I’m not being sent around on errands.”

As she continued walking Steve replayed her words over in his head. She met the hero in the fairy tale she grew up hearing about, but wanted to get to know the actual man behind him. She could tell the difference between the story Steve Rogers playing Captain America and the real Steve Rogers starting his new in the future. Steve felt elated at that. It was a small comfort he currently needed in his life. And while Peggy and Bucky already understood and were helping in the whole ‘re-discovering himself’ department, it felt refreshing having a new face.

Steve watched her go, looking her over. She was pretty with her rounded face and long eyelashes and golden hair that reached her shoulders, and if he got to know her… maybe something would come of it. He’ll never know until he tried.

She knew the difference. That was enough for him.

Steve jogged out of the door and reached her in the hallway, calling out to her, “Sharon.”

She turned around, looking at him curiously. “Yes, Steve?”

Steve felt his heart beating heavily. “You said you wanted to know Steve Rogers.” She nodded, cautiously. “Well, how about we get some coffee to get started?” Steve ignored how that one word that was used constantly before by someone caused his heart to stop briefly and his chest to constrict.

Sharon looked momentarily stunned, as if never having expected to hear those words aimed at her. And now that he thought about it he understood why. This was out of the blue, asking to get… to go out together, but this also had the added bonus of Sharon having heard the love story between him and someone else that complicated matters. She was probably wondering what was going on in his head.

“I - uh, get coffee, together?” The moment of surprise disappeared and concern took its place. “I’d like to get coffee with you, but are you sure you’re ready for that?”

_Have you moved on?_ he mentally translated. “I’ve been meaning to explore the best coffee places in the area. You have any suggestions?”

“I have a few in mind. Want me to show you around?”

Steve nodded, smiling. “I’d like that.”

“Okay, alright. How about this Friday? Say around five?”

Friday, that was three days from now. He could do it. He could start moving on. “Sounds perfect. Where would you like to meet?”

“Here is fine. Makes it easier. I’ll see you on Friday, Steve.”

“Friday,” he breathed out, watching as she shot one last smile and waved goodbye before turning and disappearing down the corner.

Alone in the hall now Steve had time to think about what he just did. These were the first steps in starting his new life as Steve Rogers of the future, bringing to life Nomad, and burying his past. He could do this, he could do this.

He closed his eyes, continued repeating that saying in his mind and tilted his head upward. He imagined there was a certain someone somewhere up high in the sky, waving at him in a small hello with a proud smile. Not daring himself to wave back in fear of bursting into tears right in the middle of the hallway he stood completely still as he said “Goodbye, Tony. I love you,” before straightening up and walking the same path Sharon had taken.

~~

 

Three days later Steve found himself sitting inside a small but very extravagant… drink shop. There were different kinds of caffeinated drinks as far as the eye could see written on the menu and different snacks presented in another.

Entering the building and getting blasted with the sweet scent almost had him fanning himself from the feeling of familiarity and warmth it gave him. The scent was something he knew all too well, and while it was heartwarming and made him recall some of the best days of his life, it was also heart wrenching and only reminded him of what was and never will be again.

Why did he say coffee? Why couldn’t he offer a simple walk in a park or even go out and buy snacks from a place that wasn’t specifically made to sell drinks? A walk in a park sounded great right about then but Steve had selected coffee and he wasn’t the type of man that went back on his word, even if it was tempting.

After bumbling a bit on deciding what he wanted and having Sharon coming to his rescue and prevent further mortification they both sat in a red-colored booth with abstract blue and white art decorating the surface of the table. The place was something else that was for sure. Steve hadn’t gotten the chance to explore further in the city, what with Bucky deciding to go AWOL for his own reasons that haven’t been explained yet and Peggy currently busy managing what she could of the mission and cleaning up the mentioned person going AWOL. Which, according to Sharon, was a dead man walking when Peggy finally manages to get her hands on him.

Everyone was too busy to give him the time and continue their exploration of the city. Everyone but him, it seemed.

“So, any news, by any chance?” he started off. It was probably rude to begin a… day together by asking about the status of a favor but Steve was at the point of nearly going AWOL himself. He’ll end up following Bucky’s footsteps in order to get out there.

Sharon twirled her cup of tea, giving him a calculated eye before taking a sip. “I talked to Peggy.”

Steve inched closer in his seat. “And?”

Another sip, “Well, she doesn’t seem convinced you’re ready, or that you thought any of this through.”

He flinched at that. He was sort of hoping Peggy would cave in if her niece talked in his favor, but it seemed it didn’t work.

“But,” she added, “She’ll give you one chance. If you don’t meet her expectations she’ll put you right back on standby.”

Steve blinked, feeling the tightness in his chest from the earlier dejection slowly disappear. “Really?”

“Really. She’ll collect you when she gets an update. Said you better be up and ready to take off at any given moment.”

“I will,” Steve grinned, “thank you, Sharon. Thank you so much.”

“Don’t mention it.” She crossed her arms expectedly. “Just tell me one thing, Steve. Why the sudden interest in getting coffee? If you wanted to thank me for this favor you could have just said so and move on. I’m happy to help any way I can and I don’t expect anything in return. You are my aunty and uncle’s best friend, after all.”

Steve avoided eye contact and had the decency to feel and look ashamed. Truth of the matter was the way he handled the situation, asking for a favor from Sharon and having it closely followed by asking her to join him for drinks, made it looked like he was repaying her with intimate services. It was not gentlemen-like at all.

“Look,” she continued, “I don’t know what Peggy said to you, but you don’t have to do this. Don’t feel some sort of obligation or duty, and if she or Bucky said anything to encourage you in any way just ignore it. Let’s move this behind us.”

What? “I - what? Sorry, I don’t know what you mean.”

“Did aunty make you invite me for coffee? Because I don’t need a pity date or anything.”

Steve was dumbfounded for a second. Pity date? Was that what Sharon believed this was…? Hold on, if she considered this a pity date did that mean she was already interested?

“Peggy didn’t make me do anything,” he said. “She hasn’t told me anything about you besides you being her niece. This isn’t a pity date, I promise you.”

Sharon eyed him critically. “If this isn’t a pity date, then what is it?”

“An outing to get to know each other better? Possibly the start of a date, date? See where it leads?”

“You expect me to believe that?” Steve reared back as if stung, his back hitting the booth. “It’s nothing against you, Steve, but…” she gave him a sad smile, “I’ve heard the stories. I know what you went through. It might not all be accurate, but I’ve heard enough to know that you found the one person you loved with all your might. That kind of love is hard to recover from and probably twice as hard to recreate. You’ve just woken up and you’re getting back on your feet. You really expect me to believe you’ve moved on? Just like that?”

And like that, the walls he created, the defenses he worked to recover, the mantra he had done in the past two days to give him the strength and courage to join Sharon, they were all destroyed and lost, taken down with the harshness of the truth.

Steve hadn’t moved on. He wasn’t going to in a matter of two days, even if he tried to force it by sheer willpower. He wasn’t going to move on anytime soon and, to be honest, he’ll probably never fully move on at all. Tony had made himself a permanent dent in his life and he’ll always be present in the back of his mind, even if he held someone else within his arms at night. A little speck of Tony would always be there.

He wasn’t fooling anyone if Sharon, someone he had barely met two days ago, saw right through him.

He tried clearing his throat of the pain. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel used or mock you in any way.”

“Can’t be helped. You didn’t know. Your intentions might be innocent, but I don’t think they’re what you need right now. Maybe sending you out on the field will really help you.”

“Maybe,” he trailed off.

Sharon twirled her drink again before reaching out for his hand resting on the edge of the table. “A bit of advice I think you should take, Steve. Don’t push him away. Nothing good comes out of pushing those you love out of your life.”

“Are you talking from experience?”

“No, from watching. I saw a father push away his only son he loved, but never showed, and now they’re both missing.”

Steve nearly jumped from his seat at that revelation. That sounded too close to Tony and Howard’s situation for it to be purely coincidental. “Are you talking about Howard Stark?”

“I am. I’m sure by now aunty and uncle have mentioned how neglectful Howard Stark was to my little cousin, but there’s something they always failed to say. They’re more focused on the hurt he caused that they never bothered to look into the sad eyes of the man.”

“You - you saw something, didn’t you? What did you see?” Steve almost pleaded, desperate to know everything about Tony and the possibility that maybe not everything was bad for the young genius growing up. Steve recalled from the recording that Tony mentioned his father giving him sad looks sometimes, could this be what he meant?

Sharon pulled her hand away. “I saw hesitation. I saw someone wanting to do something but holding himself back for some reason. Stark was pushing his son away. Why? I don’t know, but he did so with a heavy heart. Doesn’t matter now. The damage has been done and they’re both still missing. What I’m trying to say is don’t push your Tony away, Steve. I saw what happened when someone tried to push one Tony. I don’t want to see what will happen to you if you do it, too.”

Steve nodded slowly. Everything Sharon had said held truth, pushing Tony away was probably the last thing he should do, especially if it led to others getting hurt. Already he had hurt Sharon and this was only the beginning stages of trying to move on by force.

At the same time her words revealed more of Howard’s character and raised questions that might never be answered. Like why would Stark hold back from showing love to his son? If he knew about his son’s disappearance then shouldn’t he be doing everything within his power to shower Tony with all the love and affection he could muster until the fateful day happened?

Also, now that he further contemplated about it, where had Howard disappeared to? Tony’s disappearance was already answered, time travel and all, but what happened to Howard? There were no announcements of death, nothing but suddenly vanishing some days later just like Tony…

No, it couldn’t be… could it?

If it had happened then Howard would have revealed himself. Had to have revealed himself somehow to let them know what happened to him. Unless he couldn’t because something really did happen to him, meaning he had suffered the same fate as his son.

Oh, God. He needed to talk to Peggy and Bucky about this. It may not be an answer to Stark’s whereabouts but it was something, and maybe even closure for them.

“Steve?”

Steve snapped back to reality. “Sorry, I was thinking about something.”

“Hopefully you agreeing to not forcefully push anyone away.”

“No, well, yes, but also something else. You’re right. I shouldn’t be pushing him away, and I’m sorry for making it look like I was using you. I was doing what he wanted me to do, move on, but this is probably not how he meant for it to happen.”

She waved a hand in dismissal. “Apology accepted. I’m just curious, why me? Is it because I’m their niece? No, never mind. You don’t have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“No, no, I didn’t pick you because you’re their niece. You know the difference, between story Steve Rogers and the real Steve Rogers. When you said you wanted a chance to get to know the real me I felt so relieved that I had to ask you for a drink, thinking something could happen between us. And maybe something can, but not right now, not when I’m forcing it.”

Understanding dawned on her. “So that’s why. And here I thought aunty told you about my embarrassing childhood crush on you.”

“You had a crush on me?” Steve asked with a playful grin, feeling for the first time free of emotional burden. Breathing felt so different compared to the past few days and his heart felt light.

“Not exactly in the past tense, but yeah. I’ll have you know that I had very good taste as a child. Had to fight tooth and nail with my cousin for rights on claiming you as my own,” she returned the grin.

“You and your cousin fought over me?” From what Sharon had explained before Steve guessed the cousin she was referring to was Tony Stark, meaning that, as a child, his Tony had fought for him and all Steve could imagine was a small, puffy cheeked genius pouting adorably because he wanted Steve Rogers for himself. Steve wanted to ‘aww’ and gush at the image.

“Of course, who wouldn’t? You were the fairytale prince out saving America and rescuing your princess, although we couldn’t decide who the princess was.”

“Wouldn’t Tony Rhodes be the princess?”

Sharon scoffed. “No, he and Bucky were the prince’s sidekicks. Tony being the lucky sidekick to win the prince, but the prince needed a princess to rescue. Its tradition and all. My cousin and I fought for the title.”

Steve didn’t exactly understand how that worked but he nodded regardless.

“Peggy was the queen, by the way.”

Now that he understood and laughed. “Couldn’t see it any other way.”

“Okay, now that I mentioned it I have to tell you about the time we fought over who got to wear the dress.”

Steve leaned in, eager to hear every embarrassing tale involving Tony. He could picture the genius just standing a few feet away waving frantically and begging Sharon to stop telling stories of his youth. Steve wasn’t going to let that happened. He planned on hearing every single detail and letting himself revel in the knowledge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! Next chapter we'll be seeing someone special again.


	8. Canary, Mademoiselle and Nomad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone special makes a brief appearance! I hope it reaches your expectations and more!

During the two weeks of waiting for Peggy to get back to him about the mission (or any mission really) Steve spent the majority of that time either in the gym punching away bags after bags or he spent it hanging out with Sharon as she talked about her childhood, about her work as an agent, some absurd stories that happened while she was on missions that were downright ridiculous that he couldn’t believe they were actually true but she swore they were, and about her cousin and her aunt and uncle. The last one Steve looked forward to everyday.

“No,” Steve said with a grin, trying and failing to cover his mouth with his hand.

“I kid you not,” Sharon was laughing. “I was sitting on the couch, waiting for my cousin with Peggy and Bucky, when out of nowhere we just see him run across us with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and shouting nonsense about how ‘ _the British are coming_ ’ and then five seconds later we see Jarvis chasing after him, calling his full name.”

Steve snorted, imagining the scene in his head.

“You can ask aunty if you don’t believe me. I think at one point Tony got too confident or something because next thing we knew he came back and said ‘the British are here’ while pointing at Peggy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Bucky get on his feet so quick. Almost threw the couch back with us still on it from the sheer force of it. And then, I swear he did this, he shouted with an exaggerated French accent ‘ _you dare accuse my wife of treason!_ ’” Sharon mimicked the accent as best as she could, causing Steve to laugh at the facial expressions she created.

She laughed along with him, taking a moment from continuing the story to get her bearings back. “Tony took off running after that and Bucky said ‘viva la resistance’ in that accent of his before taking off after him. And as if a switch had been flipped Peggy got up too, lifted her hand up as if fighting and said ‘ _for Queen and country_ ’ and ran next. I just sat there on the couch watching them run back and forth. It was ridiculous. We don’t even know why Jarvis was chasing Tony in the first place but Peggy and Bucky jumped at the first opportunity. It was,” Sharon covered her smile, eyes growing fond, “it was beautiful, really. You’d think assassins and spies would have mature things to do in their spare time but no, here comes one of S.H.I.E.L.D’s founders and one of its best agents chasing after Tony as if it was their number one priority.”

“I should say I’m shocked to hear they actually did that, but I’m not,” Steve grinned.

The stories continued in a similar fashion. The more Steve heard the more he came to realize his fear that Tony felt abandoned and unwanted because of Howard’s lack of affection were unfounded. Tony may not have gotten the attention he deserved from his parents but, in Steve’s opinion, he got something better. He got Peggy, Bucky, Jarvis, and even Sharon’s love instead. And that was something, considering him and the latter had a rocky start. 

“I had an odd relationship with my little cousin. It started off as resentment first. I mean, here was Tony, who had my aunty and uncle’s love without even being related to them in any way shape or form besides just being the son of a friend. On top of that he also had the same name as Captain America’s boyfriend. A bit unfair, really,” Sharon shook her head. “I wanted nothing to do with him. I wanted him as far away from me as possible, on the other side of the city, other side of the house, maybe even other side of the world.”

“What made you change your mind?”

“I’m not sure exactly. One day I hated him, the next I saw him as a rival. After that I saw him as a possible ally, then an actual ally, and then he became my cousin, followed by a partner in crime until finally he became my friend.”

“Sounds like it took a long time to reach that point.”

“Not as long as you believe. Tony has this sort of,” Sharon shook her hands as if trying to find the right wording for what she wanted to say, “air, about him. I don’t know how to explain it but he just makes you feel overwhelmed with emotions if you don’t know how to handle him. One second he says something that makes you laugh and the next he says something that has you blushing like mad. He expresses so much in one sentence.” She sighed. “I wish you were there to see it for yourself. Explaining it is near impossible. You have to witness it in person to understand.”

“I think I understand what you mean,” Steve thought back to the moments where he saw Tony doing those very things Sharon was talking about. How Tony complimented him and nearly caused his entire body to stay permanently red, or how Tony would say the most sickeningly adorable things ever but have it hidden behind his sarcasm.

Tony did express so much with just a few words, sometimes even with hardly any words at all. His eyes gave everything away. His big, beautiful, dark eyes that were meant to belong in silent films expressed what words sometimes failed to say.

“What are you thinking about that has you looking like that?” Sharon interrupted his thoughts. “I know those smiles and lovesick eyes aren’t meant for me.”

Steve blushed a bit at being caught and, gosh, how long had it been since he last blushed? Felt like ages. “Sorry, I was thinking about someone.”

Sharon smirked. “Do you happen to be thinking about a certain someone with brown hair, is a genius, and behaves, according to Bucky, like a kid?”

“Bucky told you about that, did he?”

“Oh, yeah. Told me about the time when you three were discussing wedding plans? And how your boo wanted the colors to be red, white and blue.”

Oh, yes, Steve remembered that. Remembered it like it had been yesterday. “We never did have the wedding.” Steve sighed and placed a hand on his chest. “I was the groom left waiting at the altar.”

Sharon laughed. “I don’t think so. If anything you both eloped and married each other under the guise of fighting together as soldiers in a war. Without meaning to you both immortalized your matrimony in thousands of copies for the young and old generations to read and enjoy and none of them are any wiser about it.”

“Thousands of copies?” Steve frowned. How exactly did he immortalize anything and how do thousands even enjoy it?

“The Captain America comics,” Sharon revealed. “Have you gotten a chance to look at them? They made comics after you and the Howling Commandos. Because of this, naturally, Bucky and Tony are in it. The three of you are the biggest part of it. You as the main one, obviously, because you’re Captain America, and Bucky as your second in command and the deadly sniper and Tony as your team’s human detonator. Their skills are legendary.”

Steve was stunned. “We have comics?”

“You do. You and your team are the stuff of legends, at least in the comics. Once I saw what Bucky was truly capable of the comics lacked in comparison. His character didn’t come close to showing half of what he does. Still, you guys were amazing. I have most of the collection. Some issues are just too few to find, and trust me I looked.”

His face flushed in embarrassment against his will. All these compliments about his and his team’s skills, you’d think he had gotten used to it already, what with receiving them during the war and all, but no, if anything it still felt new to him.

Ignoring that part of the conversation Steve focused on the important aspect that had his ears perking at attention. They were in a comic. Not just him as Captain America, but _they_ , as in Bucky and Tony were there with him, and that image had him bouncing internally with excitement. They were in a comic, a _comic_ , together fighting side by side and apparently legendary and it was just… he was in a comic with two of the most important people in his life.

He needed to see these comics with his own eyes.

“You have most of the collection?”

Sharon sat up straight. “I do. I’m rather proud of it, and that’s saying something because I know someone who has every single issue ever released.”

“Every issue?”

She nodded. “Every issue, and I’m not even mad about it. He’s the only person I ever called my rival and it’s almost an honor that he’s the one I lost to when it came to collecting the comics.”

Steve didn’t even need to ask her who the person was. He figured it out the moment she said rival. “It was Tony.”

“Naturally.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything else.” Steve bit his lip in thought. “Do you mind - can you show them to me, the comics?” 

Her eyes lit up. The brown of them changing to a lighter hue and brighter. “I’d be happy to, but on one condition.”

“...what condition?”

“You have to sign them.”

~~~

 

Nearly 78 signed issues later Sharon admitted that having her entire collection signed might not be possible in the time span of three hours and they agreed Steve needed a break and maybe the rest of the day to heal his hand, and possibly an entire week of doing absolutely nothing in order to have every comic signed become a reality.

“There is really this many?” Steve was awestruck at the sheer numbers of comics he saw when Sharon brought him to her apartment. They were all neatly stacked in order of their issue and separated by those issue’s release dates. There were Captain Americas here and Captain Americas there and there were even a few Bucky comics that followed his own adventures leading the Howling Commandos. It was a sight to behold and Steve was still ogling at all the colors and styles and summaries and… he needed a moment.

“There are,” Sharon confirmed, “and there are more being printed as we speak. There’s always new styles and new plots being made every month. I try my best collecting the modern ones but it’s the classics from back then that really has that impact for me. Here, let me show you the first ones. I’m really proud of these.”

From somewhere inside a box Sharon yanked out a shiny white binder that had pages of pages of plastic that surrounded even more comics. Unlike the ones Sharon asked him to sign, that already looked old compared to some comics he managed to see that had that unavoidable shine that seemed associated with the future, these looked even older, ancient almost. And yet they looked like every day comics Steve would see growing up.

“It’s not all of them, but I find these are the most important ones that started the legendary Captain America and the Howling Commandos. Here, I think you should look at this one first.”

Carefully pulling a comic from its plastic cover, Sharon handed it over to him and in his hands opened the book to a certain page and Steve had to stop himself from making a noise that combined a cry and a laugh together. The magnificent page that she revealed to him had his Captain America ego standing with his shield up in the sky in victory, smiling at no one in particular and had a leg stepping over a stone in what he presumed was a stance meant to show him in a ‘bigger than life’ way. Besides his figure were Bucky and Tony. They looked like Bucky and Tony and yet at the same time didn’t look like them. The drawing style taking away distinctive features about them. Bucky was standing sideways while his upper body faced forward and had a dark rifle in his hands, holding it up to face upwards to the sky. His face was in a frown and yet his lips were smiling, or was that smirking? Either way it was a kind of characteristic meant for a dark and broody character that was not-so-secretly a (as Tony would say) ‘badass.’

Steve wanted to laugh at that. He wondered what Bucky had thought about that when he first saw it.

As for Tony, he was standing a bit closer to Steve’s side with his entire body facing forward. In his hands was a device that was unrecognizable in the 40’s standard, which meant it was something created to represent his genius and his ability to create an item ahead of its time. Around his shoulders, chest and waist were belts that had what looked like grenades or other types of explosives. Surely that wasn’t safe, or even sane to do, but that was exactly what the artist drew for him (and even though Steve didn’t want to admit it, it was probably something Tony would have done if Steve and Bucky hadn’t intervened in what he could and couldn’t do).

As for the facial expression, it was a huge contrast to what Steve and Bucky had. Steve had that typical smile most would show when meeting someone and Bucky had that same smile present but with scowling added to the mix. Tony however, oh, the artist spent time on him because he was grinning, teeth showing and all, and his eyes were half-closed and staring at the reader. And now that Steve was looking closer he noticed how Bucky’s eyes were aimed towards Tony's direction, making his face go from ‘brooding badass smirking’ to ‘brooding badass smiling at teammate’s shenanigans.’

In the background were all the heads and upper bodies of the Howling Commandos, Dum Dum standing in front of them as they formed a V heading back.

Steve really wanted this page, and he also wanted to draw it, he wanted to redraw the page and take the cartoon aspect off of it. He wanted the image, alright.

“Knew you would love it,” Sharon said besides him. “Aunty and uncle have their own copy of this image. I can get you one, if you’d like.”

“Yes, please, if you don’t mind.”

She smiled. “None at all. Easy to get it now a days, with the internet and all.”

Steve kept staring at the image. “So this is what they drew of us?”

“For almost every single issue. Sometimes they exaggerated and made your muscles bulge out, or had Bucky taller than you. Other Times they did something beyond reason like give Bucky blonde hair, or even gave Tony a goatee. It was a sight to see, those comics.”

“Blonde hair? Goatee?” Steve snorted and tried imagining Bucky with blonde hair. That was something alright. He tried imagining Tony with a goatee and found… it didn’t look half bad. In fact it looked almost… too attractive. With Tony’s skin color and bone structure it was almost a match made in heaven.

Steve swore he almost drooled.

“Steve,” Sharon interrupted his train of thought, “stop me if I’m overstepping, but if you do go back in the field are you going to wear standard S.H.I.E.L.D issued suits?”

Steve blinked. “Yes?” He figured that was what he was going to wear, what with having nothing else besides clothes he recently bought and his Captain America outfit that he had no idea where it went. “Why do you ask?”

She bit her lip, shuffling where she stood. “No particular reason. Just wondering if you were going to give yourself an outfit or blend in with the many agents back at HQ.” She looked at the comic still in his hands and traced a finger over his character’s outfit. “Think you’ll miss wearing the flashy outfit?”

Truth be told Steve _was_ going to miss the outfit. Not for any particular reason besides he’d gotten used to it. Flashy outfit he could handle. In fact he almost preferred it. It was the ‘being on the spotlight, selling war bonds and being the people’s icon of hope’ that he didn’t want to go through again. If there was even a remote chance that he could put on the red, white and blue and not get recognize Steve would do it in a heartbeat, but these comics only proved that his outfit was too recognizable to get away with using again.

“To be honest? A little. I’ll miss wearing colors, but I think I can make all black look good. Like I said to Peggy and Buck, I can’t be Captain America. Not right now.”

“Hmm,” Sharon looked between Steve and the comic, “so if we find you an outfit that isn’t the recognizable red, white and blue and isn’t the standard S.H.I.E.L.D issue you’d be willing to wear it?”

Steve considered this. “Does that kind of outfit happen to exist?”

“Possibly.”

“Are you offering me an outfit, Sharon?”

“Also possibly.”

“Is there a particular reason you’re offering me an outfit? Better yet, why does this specific outfit even exist?”

Sharon grinned. “Alright, you got me. While you were still sleeping after getting defrosted S.H.I.E.L.D started working on a modern suit, just in case you decide to take up the mantel as Captain America. The suit’s design was created by someone who happens to be a huge fan of yours, plus yours truly.” She bowed to show who she was talking about.

“You designed an outfit for me?”

“More like I picked the colors and added in pockets and holsters you might find useful. Agent Coulson, that’s the fan of yours, designed the first suit considered, and let me tell you it was a good thing I stepped in because I don’t think that sketch left any room for you to breathe. It was skin tight, bright blue and I think he considered using leather for the entire thing. It was basically the same thing they made you wear during your Star Spangled Man with a Plan performances.”

Steve shivered at that. No way was he going to wear _that_ outfit again. Never.

Sharon crossed her arms and stood straight. “Don’t worry. I got his sketch, locked it and threw away the key. I designed you something a bit better and more dignified, but it doesn’t have the iconic red on it. It’s basically all blue, with an added white star and wings on the chest. Coulson’s idea.”

All blue with only a star. Steve liked how it sounded so far, but he wouldn’t make a decision without actually looking at it with his own eyes first. “Show it to me?”

She took him back to HQ and further inside the belly of the building, leading him to a vaulted room that had locked up safes and cabinets and glass containers that housed what were probably secret and (without a doubt illegal) items inside. On the far corner of the room was a cylindrical glass case that displayed a dark blue uniform with a white star on the chest that Steve was far too familiar with. On the sides of the star were shapes that represented wings. He stood in front of the glass, marveling the design, the pockets, the belts and the black boots. It was like his Captain America uniform but less bulkier, designed to allow smoother movement and maybe even stealth, and it was less colorful. Even the helmet looked different even though there was hardly any notable change at all.

It was Captain America and yet it wasn’t.

Steve wanted to wear it.

Sharon walked up and put a hand on the case. “I know you said you wanted to start over as Nomad and I think this outfit would be perfect for it, but that’s my opinion. It’s up to you if you want to wear it or not.” She faced him. “You know it just occured to me that maybe you already thought up something for yourself and we’re being rude by trying to force our design on you.”

Steve cleared his throat awkwardly. He actually did thought up a design for his Nomad alter ego. He drew it in his spare time and thought of putting it together just to see how it turned out, but now… after seeing this completed and reasonable uniform he could admit that his design seemed a bit silly.. His design was a black spandex that had a V cut that reached down to his yellow belt, with yellow gloves and boots and a black mask and… a cape. Alright, scratch that, his design wasn’t silly, it was downright ridiculous.

Steve scratched the back of his head. “I think your uniform looks better than mine.”

She grinned. “Will this be the Nomad, then?”

He eyed it one more time. Yeah, he could picture himself wearing it as Nomad. “I can make it work.”

“Agent Coulson will be thrilled once he hears you’re wearing it. You will make his day.”

“His welcome...?”

“I have one more thing for you.” Sharon grabbed his arm and pulled him to the side case where another case that looked attached to the wall was present. Inside was an item Steve thought long gone and it knocked the air out of him seeing it. “Quite the reunion, isn’t it?”

“You could say that,” Steve breathed out. Inside the case was his shield. The red and blue shining without a single scratch on it. Re-polished and redone, looking the same as the first time he took it out to the field.  He reached out, wanting to touch it, wanting to remember how it felt in his hands and arm and back. His outstretched hand came in contact with the glass and after realizing he was reaching for his past he yanked it back as if it got burned.

“At least I know it's safe and sound.”

Sharon frowned and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “You know you don’t have to be Captain America to use it. This shield, it’s a waste to just leave it gathering dust. Almost insulting, actually.”

Steve faced her. “The shield is too recognizable. All it takes is one person to look at it, one person who’s a fan like you, or Agent Coulson or the hundreds out there who collected the comics, and they’ll know. They’ll think Captain America is back and I’ll be on the spotlight all over again.”

“Hate to break it to you, Steve, but you’ve been on the spotlight from the moment we found you in ice. You’ve been in it and you’ll always be in it. That’s never going to leave you.”

“But I can leave the title,” Steve countered.

“You already have,” Sharon stated. “When you and Bucky crashed in the ice the title of Captain America went up for exhibitions and memorials and merchandize. As far as civilians are concerned the American hero is long gone. If they see someone wearing a uniform and using a shield the only thing they’ll think about is what a cheap imitation that guy is and how no one can ever stand where the country’s greatest icon stood.”

She pointed at the shield and at the uniform. “You won’t be Captain America. You’ll just be someone honoring him. The only thing we will see is Agent Nomad kicking butt, taking names and knowing exactly how to handle a giant frisbee.”

“A giant frisbee?” Steve raised an eyebrow.

“Let’s be honest, it’s a giant frisbee.”

He stood firm for a solid ten seconds before finally agreeing. “Yeah, it’s a giant frisbee. But it’s useful and has saved me more times than I can count.”

Sharon hummed in agreement. “Well then, Agent Nomad, let’s return this frisbee to its rightful place and let's get this uniform out and put into use.”

~~~

 

When Peggy came to finally tell him he had a mission she came barreling down and didn’t give him anything to go on besides “Suit up. We leave in fifteen minutes.”

Of course that made him scramble to get his suit on, tie his boots, adjust his helmet, snatch his shield and go running down the hall after Peggy like a madman. And because it was the first time he wore the suit in public he got a lot of stares from the agents who were witnessing the beginning of Nomad.

With anticipation, determination and - guiltily - excitement Steve followed Peggy to the elevator of HQ and took it up to the top floor, using the exit to reach the roof where a roar of an engine greeted him. Peggy walked to the source of the noise without a second glance at Steve. Each of her steps taken with a goal in mind. Steve was quick to follow. When she reached the square-shaped and flat-like jet she ushered him inside, said something to the agent standing on the side and quickly hopped in herself.

Inside the jet Steve took the seat on the right side of the plane and Peggy took the left, facing him. They strapped in and then waited. The roar of the engines were their only source of noise until it was interrupted by the door of the machine lifting and closing, effectively blocking the noise from the outside.

Peggy sighed and shook her head, causing her curls to bounce. “When someone finally invents an engine capable of not producing sound I’ll be the first in line to invest in them. Ridiculous how loud these things are. Makes me wonder why we use them for a secret organization.”

“It’s not so bad. They sound better than the ones we had in the 40’s.”

She groaned, “Don’t remind me. Complete rubbish.” She eyed him critically. “I see Sharon managed to convince you of trying out her design.”

Steve gave a quick glance at the fabric covering his knees. “They’re surprisingly comfy. Feels softer than the uniform I used during the war.”

“And they’re stronger, too. Though I’m glad you enjoy them, Steve, I’m a little shocked that you have the shield with you. I thought you weren’t going to stand on the mantel again?”

“I’m not. Just because I’m using the shield again doesn’t mean I’ll be bringing back Captain America. I’m too used to fighting with it to dare let go.”

“So Nomad will be born from the roots of Captain America? We can work with that. Thankfully we’ll be working with stealth for now, so we don’t have to be worried about the press and speculations.”

“When _do_ we worry about it?”

“When the press catches wind and the speculations start. If we plan everything right that won’t be for months from now. If we plan it perfectly we don’t have to worry about it for years.”

“Is it possible? I mean, the shield is a bit on the flashy side.”

“You can always dye it black if you want to blend with the shadows, but I don’t think black is really your color.”

Steve grinned because, yeah, he couldn’t really picture himself wearing black, even if his original Nomad outfit idea was black. He didn’t know what he was thinking when he drew that. Then again he thought it up during a very depressing moment, so that might have played a part in it.

“Now,” Peggy interrupted, “I still think you should have time for yourself to rest and heal, but if you believe that’s the last thing you need then I will respect your wishes, even if I don’t like it.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet, Steven. If I see for one moment you faltering or showing hesitation or even the smallest sign of distress I will not hesitate to bench you and don’t think I won’t tie you to your room if I catch wind of you trying to escape to the field.”

Steve swallowed. “I won’t disappoint.”

She clenched her hands. “It’s not about disappointment; it’s about your well-being.”

“I know, Peg. I’m fine, really. I’m as fine as someone who recently discovered their lover was from the future going back in time and stayed knowing they were going to die just to spend their little time left with them.”

Sadness filled her eyes. “I guess there’s no true way of handling that.”

“Waking up after being frozen in ice to the future helped a bit. Otherwise it would’ve been hard to believe.”

“That’s one thing we have going for us. We’re relics still holding on.”

“Thank you, Peggy. For everything.”

Her eyes softened. “You’re welcome Steve.” A ‘clank’ sound echoed inside from the agent doing something on the driver’s seat of the jet. “Well, better catch you up on what we’re doing.”

“It’s just the two of us, then?”

“No, no,” she shook her head, “we’re still missing one more character and he should be arriving right about…” a thunk and the sounds of engines overwhelmed them as a door open at the front of the jet, “now.”

Both Steve and Peggy turned to the front and found Bucky standing there, freezing when he noticed them sitting. He looked like a deer caught in headlights and turned positively pale when Peggy gave him a lethal smirk.

“Ah, James, right on time as always. Come, sit. We’re just waiting on you.” She patted a sit in a way that suggested anything but a happy invite.

If possible he turned paler, visibly swallowed his panic and wisely (dumbly) chose to sit on the opposite side of her, picking to sit two seats away from Steve.

Being rejected didn’t seem to affect Peggy. “I was just about to explain to Steve where we are going. With the information you managed to obtain on your little stake-out you plotted on your own while you were going AWOL and brooding, we managed to locate the building that had the probability of housing what we’re after.” Her voice emitted an inner rage that her face gave no clue about. Clearly she was mad for what he had done.

Bucky seemed to shrink into his seat as Peggy explained the situation and mentioned his disappearance. It was something that Steve never expected to ever see his confident best friend do.

Choosing to aggressively ignore the obvious awkwardness and discomfort to the best of his ability he asked “What exactly are you after?”

The agent handling the jet said something and the machine shook as it began taking off. Peggy placed her anger away and crossed her arms with a sigh. “The one thing we’re always after when it comes to the safety of the people. Weapons.”

Steve instantly stood straight on his seat. When it came to weapons he always made sure to listen for every single detail. The war taught him the capability weapons had back then, especially when used against him and his men. Who knew how far that capability reached now with weapons of the future.

“We’ve been fighting a war against these weapons for the past ten years.” Peggy continued. “Since Howard’s disappearance we’ve been struggling to keep up with the advance equipment that seems to be appearing underneath our nose, merchandise that’s been growing in an alarming pace. Both in numbers and capability.”

Steve didn’t like the sound of that. “And you know who’s responsible?”

“No,” Peggy said, grimly. “We neither know the group nor the mind behind them. We’ve been chasing ghosts for the past few years. Hopefully today we'll have some success at finding something. The one thing about weapons being smuggled in is that they always leave a trail behind. We just have to find where that trail leads, where it ends and where it begins.”

“Is that where we're going now, following the trail? What did you find?”

“What _James_ managed to find,” she stressed the name and gave the man in question a pointed look, making him sink deeper in his seat, if possible, “is a location of where the trail may be currently resting. We have a window of opportunity to learn as much as we can, but that window won't stay open for long. They know we're coming.”

“We're walking into a location that already knows we're headed for them and no doubt have a trap set up for us, is what you're telling me.” Steve looked skeptical. This was not exactly what he planned his first mission to be, but so long as he was out on the field he didn't care. He had the added bonus of working with Bucky and Peggy on this, so there was that good aspect.

“We have James here to thank for that. Running off on his own doesn't give him many options on scouring the area, having surveillance on positions and thinking up a plan of escape when getting spotted by enemies.”

Steve’s eyes widened and he snapped his head to his friend. “Bucky! You got spotted?”

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck and refused to make eye contact. “I got cocky while escaping and misjudged my position. Managed to get out with the information, though,”  he shrugged as if was nothing and then eyed his suit. “Nice outfit, by the way.”

Steve ignored the comment.

“Nearly blew his bloody leg off,” Peggy snapped, “there was a nasty character that favored explosives chasing after him and nearly succeeded taking another limb off.”

“At least it was my left leg? I’ll just get another prostatic.”

“ _Another_ _pros_ -” Peggy closed her eyes, clenched her teeth and took a much needed second to breathe and not reach out for her gun. “I swear, James, I _swear_ when this little adventure is over I will make sure you won’t be able to sit right for months because your arse is going to receive a kicking of a lifetime.”

While the promised threat was not meant to be taken lightly Steve still snorted and quickly covered it up by clearing his throat and avoiding Peggy’s eyes. The last thing he wanted was having the female assassin hunt him down.

“What you did was selfish,” Peggy continued. “Running off on your own without considering the emotional state of others. I understand you needed time for yourself, but doing an op on your own, and in your recent state? _What_ were you _thinking_? What if something worse had gone wrong? You captured, tortured or even getting _killed_?” Her face was painted in heartbreaking worry. “We had just learned we lost Anthony, losing you would have destroyed us.”

Any humor Steve had found in her previous comment vanished in an instant when she finished and concern filled the empty space. He looked to Bucky and waited for an answer. He wasn’t about to let it go without hearing the reason behind his best friend jumping into danger and risking his well-being.

Bucky was staring at his hands resting on his knees. He moved his silver fingers, clenching and unclenching and tapping and causing the light to shine in all angles on the surface. Finally he lifted his head and gave them apologetic looks. “I couldn’t handle it.”

The tense atmosphere that was created in the silence melted away. He continued, quietly, “Simple as that. I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t handle learning that Tony, our little boy we watched grow up, the very same one I gave piggy back rides to and made pancakes together for and drew that little picture of all of us that I have taped up on our fridge, is the same Tony that Steve fell in love with and became a little brother to me and went to war with us and died falling off a train. I couldn’t handle it, alright?”

“Bucky,” Steve tried.

“No, Steve. I get that you’re suffering the most out of all three of us. You loved him, I get that, but so did I, so did _we_ ,” Bucky gestured to himself and Peggy. “Our love is completely different from yours. The pain I’m going through is not the same. You had him for a year, I had him for eighteen, less than that since Stark sent him away. I held him in my arms when he was only three days old. He was so tiny that he fit on both of my hands. He was my little baby boy, and I watched him fall off a train screaming and terrified for his life… and all I could do was stare as he disappeared. I just couldn’t handle it. You handled your pain your way, and I handled mine my way.”

“James,” Peggy whispered.

“I’m sorry.” Bucky had turned away in the middle of his explanation and when he turned back there were the start of tears in his eyes. “I know it was selfish of me and if I was in your place, Peg, I probably would’ve gone mad with worry, but I needed to get away.  I needed control again, to know I still had a say to what happened in my life. This whole time jumping we’ve all gone through really messes with my head.”

“I think,” Peggy blinked her eyes repeatedly, trying to get rid of the tears that were building up, “we all need to learn to express ourselves better.” That was the closest thing Bucky was going to get of her accepting why he had done what he did.

“We’re all in our nineties,” Steve said. “If we haven’t learned after all this time I don’t think there’s hope for us at all.”

A moment of silence passed until Bucky gained the courage to say “I can’t believe I’m in my nineties and I still don’t get the senior discount.”

When both Steve and Peggy laughed they figured this was their way of saying they understood the reasoning and may even accept Bucky’s apology, but not yet. He still needed to get his ass kicked and learn a lesson of why leaving behind his wife and best friend was a big and capitalized N O.

~~~

 

With a loud ‘whoosh’ and the rattling echo of the doors opening Steve, Bucky and Peggy found themselves one step away from solid floor to stand on and free falling straight to the ground. Steve leaned forward to try and get a glimpse of the ground that was nowhere near them and was obscured and shadowed from the lack of sunlight.

“You still remember how to do this, right?” Bucky shouted over the loud whistling of the wind, hitting him on his shoulder.

“I was frozen in ice, not living under a rock for sixty-six years. I know how this goes,” Steve shouted back.

“Good because this is a hell of a time to give you private lessons.”

Peggy adjusted her pack and placed a foot over the edge. The back half of it remaining on steel and the front hovering over the air. “This is the plan. We go in, disable security, locate any room that has a system connecting to the main frame of the building, download what we can and make sure any weapons in there don’t see the light of day.”

“They’re expecting us. What about the trap?” Steve mimicked her and placed his boot on the edge.

“Don’t fall for them,” she deadpanned. “Get ready, this is our stop.”

Simultaneously the three of them bent their knees, braced their legs and took a deep breath before Bucky signaled to jump by being the first to fall. Steve and Peggy followed after.

With adrenaline pumping in his veins and his heart beating in excitement Steve dived straight to the ground. He probably should’ve felt guilty for having fun from this and being eager for the upcoming danger they were surely going to face, but he had gone for so long doing nothing that this was simply liberating. Maybe when they finally reach the danger and the situation becomes real will Steve feel worry for his friends, but while falling off a jet and gliding through the wind he planned on enjoying every second of it.

The ground appeared too soon for his liking and bordering on reluctance he pulled the string and hovered at a reasonable speed the rest of the way down. He searched for his two companions and found them yards away with their own chutes out already and aiming to land for the cover of the trees. The moment he touched the ground he pressed a button on the straps of the shoot that Bucky had ordered him to do and gazed in wonder as he witnessed the pack suck the parachute back inside, folding it as neatly as a pack pulling it in could.

With the chute out of the way he raced through the trees to the location he saw Bucky and Peggy land, spotting them already squatting with their packs gone and their binoculars out. He searched the area for where they put the packs to place his own but they were nowhere in sight. With uncertainty he squeezed his pack in-between a tree’s giant roots and covered it slightly with the fallen leaves decorating the ground. He joined them squatting down and looked to the horizon and spotted a regular everyday factory surrounded by small storage buildings that lowered in numbers the further down the road someone went. It was isolated and yet at the same time not because the nearest neighbor was about only one mile away and the town four.

Taking in every detail he could Steve found nothing worth of suspicion, which was exactly what the smugglers wanted, but there was always one single clue that they misjudge that gave them away. Something misplaced that a train eye could spot. He wondered if Bucky or Peggy already spotted it.

Bucky, with his binoculars still on, pointed to the left of the view. “There. That’s our spot.”

Well, that answered that. Steve snatched the binoculars and looked to where it was said. He came to the sight of a gray bulk storage building that was out of place to all the precise rectangle structures and outdoor pipes wrapping around them. Huh, how did he miss that? He blamed being asleep for sixty-six years. Yeah, that was it.

“To think advance weaponry is being housed in such an outdated fashion,” Peggy muttered.

“Don’t judge a building by its surface. The moment we step inside we’ll probably have guns raining on our asses,” Bucky yanked his machine gun from his back and made sure he had ammo ready inside and had the rest tucked in his armor vest. His assault rifle was tucked on his back and he didn’t bother to reach for it.

Peggy held a gun in each hand and did the same thing, switching the safety on and checking the ammo. Unlike Bucky’s guns that were the standard weapons assigned to agents Peggy’s own glock gun had a unique style to them. They were smaller and looked leaner and they were painted white with a small red floral design. They looked exactly what Peggy would use.

As for Steve he itched to grab his own just to check it was still there even though he already checked about eleven times before he jumped off the jet. Instead he moved his shoulder in a circular motion to feel if the strap still had the weight of his shield and it didn’t miraculously fall off during his freefall. He felt the edge hit the back of his helmet. Yeah, still there.

“How many did you count?” Peggy asked, tucking away her binoculars.

“Seven. Three on the left, two on the right, and one on top,” Bucky answered.

Steve faced the directions with the binoculars still at hand and counted each one still present but three seconds later an eighth participant joined the numbers, appearing as if from thin air. “Eight, located on the front.” Steve kept a close eye on the figure. Compared to the others stationed guards this one was different. They wore the same black vest and pants and boots like the rest of the watchmen but it was what they were wearing on their face and arms that made them stand apart. They were wearing a mask that hid their face and their arms had a strange shine to them, as if they were wearing metal. It was unnerving.

“One more player to have fun with. Won’t make a difference.”

“James you have security,” Peggy said, “I’ll handle video feed. Steve,” Steve pulled away from the figure to acknowledge her, “you’re with James.” He nodded and returned to keep studying the figure but was shocked to find that they were gone, disappeared just as sudden as they appeared. Steve hadn’t looked away for more than four seconds! How was that possible?

“Buck, Peg,” both turned to him, “the eighth player is gone.” That got them frowning, confused as to why it mattered if they were gone. “They disappeared in under four seconds. There is no nearby cover or any doors for them to have hidden with,” he explained.

“I don’t like the sound of that,” Bucky said as he took the binoculars from Steve and surveyed the area. “This new player might be a problem.”

“Stick to the plan for now,” Peggy ordered. She pulled back her left sleeve and revealed a small device strapped on her wrist like a watch. “We’ll cross this potentially dangerous bridge when we get to it. I can give you seven minutes of no electronic surveillance or communication. Clean the place out.”

Bucky threw the binoculars on the ground and gestured to Steve, grinning, “Let’s go clear a path for the lady.”

Steve grinned back. “After you.”

“Punk.” Faster than what Steve had expected Bucky took off into the brushes. His steps followed a quick pace crunching on fallen leaves and grass. Steve had to double take from where Bucky stood and ran off to before he collected himself and chased after him, tracing his steps. This was his first mission since waking up and he refused to be left behind and get embarrassingly outdone.

He caught up with him when Bucky skidded to a halt just as the scenery changed to an open clearing and the first building was a few yards away. With a quick glance for guards they ran to the back of the building to use it as shelter.

“There are two further up,” Bucky flexed his silver arm, prepping it up for an attack. “You take the left one and I’ll take the right. Knock ‘em out. Don’t make a noise.”

With a nod Steve began sneaking towards the right of the building where he spotted the guard Bucky was talking about when he rounded the corner. He was about to continue and take the guard from the back but the man decided to make it easier for him by making his way to the corner. The moment the guard came within sight Steve struck the back of his neck and sent him falling on the ground. A few seconds later he heard a grunt from the other side of the building and found Bucky standing over his own guard. The man was completely unconscious on the floor.

Bucky studied his work and nodded. “Not bad for a first knockout after a sixty-six year nap.”

“You’re a jerk.”

“In the flesh. I wear the title with pride. Now,” Bucky looked to the distance where the bulk storage structure was, “that’s two down. We have five more to go. Peggy should be giving us our seven minutes right about…” the lights flickered around the factory, “now. _Go_.”

Together they ran to the structure and made sure to stick close to any buildings along the way for cover. Halfway across the second building Bucky broke off the formation they had created and ran right just before a third structure appeared and he vanished on the other side. There was a groan that echoed before he appeared again and returned to the formation with a newly acquired device in hand.

“That’s three down,” Bucky said with a grin, still running. He held up the device and pressed the giant button displaying on the left and caused it to emit static. “Communication is still down. We’re in the clear.”

The bulk storage came closer and so did a wide opened space where a guard was innocently walking with his back to them. Not wanting Bucky to do all the work Steve picked up his pace and charged for the target. His boots echoed and triggered the guard to turn for the source but before he could even turn his head Steve jumped, spun in the air and kicked the man on the side of his head.

Feeling smug he gave Bucky a smirk. “That’s four.”

“That dramatic twist was completely unnecessary,” Bucky muttered.

They heard angry and frantic shouts from up above them interrupt. The remaining three guards of the seven seen were up on the platform of the building pointing at them and ordering each other around. The one standing to the left had his communication device out and was desperately pressing the button and ordering for reinforcements but all that was heard was the static.

Without even thinking about Steve reacted. Like a reflex that never disappeared after years in ice he grabbed his shield and brought it forward, measured the distances between him and the three guards, considered his strength and let the shield fly. It ricocheted off the wall near the side and sent it right to strike the first guard with the device, knocking him down before bouncing off the rail and aiming for the guard standing in the middle and sent them flying back. It repeated the pattern again from the wall and the last guard fell to the ground like a sack of potatoes, and before the shield could take off on its own Steve activated the magnetic device on his wrist to call the shield back.

Bucky whistled once the shield was safely attached to his arm. “Show off,” he said, good naturedly.

Steve puffed his chest. “That’s the last of them.” 

“Standing guard outside, yeah. Who knows how many are inside.”

“There are four waiting just inside.” Both men jumped an inch in the air as Peggy suddenly appeared besides them. She held a small screen in her hands and showed a video feed of four guards essentially waiting just inside.

Bucky frowned. “Should you be hacking their systems already? You could be tracked.”

“Probably not, but they have video cameras just sitting there waiting to be taken advantage of.” Peggy pressed buttons on the screen and the feed changed from the four guards to a room with multiple monitors and a man typing away furiously on a keyboard. “This is our goal. Lucky for us it’s located just inside.”

“And unlucky of us?”

“It’s at the bottom,” Peggy informed, causing Bucky to groan. “Three levels down to be exact.”

“Great,” the silver armed one of the three pulled out his machinegun. “Get ready. This is going to get messy.”

The others followed his lead and prepared their gun and shield and went for the door. Just as Bucky was about to reach out and open it he asked Peggy “What have you got for me?”

“There aren’t as many guards as there should be. They’re either waiting in a room together for us or they were cut back to help transfer the weapons and equipment. Who knows when the next shipment will be.”

“Which means we should get this done before they show up.”

Steve piped up, “Running inside and knocking everyone in our way sounds like a good idea.”

Bucky smirked. “Couldn’t have said it better myself, Stevie.”

“After you, gentlemen,” Mademoiselle said.

“With pleasure.” Canary’s hand was on the door.

Nomad held the shield at the ready and the moment Canary pulled back the door everything blended together. Steve vaguely remembered taking out the four guards waiting behind the door with ease. He took out two, Bucky took out the other two and Peggy went charging in. The inside of the building was bigger than what the outside suggested. There were platforms everywhere and rails and cables and even a crane. Boxes were stacked up on each other and containers were scattered everywhere and even barrels decorated the ground. At the side of it all there were ladders that went down and Steve had a brief moment of recognition because the ladders and floors reminded him a lot of that one particular building he broke into to rescue Bucky and Tony during the war.

While Steve was busy taking down any guard he ran into (or they had the bad luck of running into him) he managed to get quick glimpses of how Bucky and Peggy fought and it was a magnificent sight to see. The two moved fluidly together and dangerous. Their combined fighting made it so any enemy caught in their grasps would be constantly pelted with punches and kicks and there were no openings whatsoever for them to escape. And it wasn’t just the striking either. Their handle on weapons were just as deadly. If one ran out of ammo they either covered for the other until they reloaded or, and Steve almost couldn’t believe he had seen this, they threw their empty weapon to the other and continued to fight with their hands until the gun was reloaded and given back.

It looked like a dance for them and Steve wasn’t afraid to admit he was envious of it. To have someone that close and with years of experience that fighting together was basically second nature, and they didn’t need to say anything or even _think_ about it. They just knew.

What Steve would give to have something like that. Maybe once he could have had it, but that possibility was lost long ago.

Right now he needed to step it up because the two telepathic fighters were cleaning floor without him.

Heads were knocked into, bodies were hitting the floor and the stairs were getting nearer. Whatever trap they had set up for them apparently didn’t go off, or maybe they dropped in on them by surprise, because nothing extraordinary occurred and they were making excellent progress reaching the next floor, and then the next, and then they reached the room they had seen on the screen with the monitors attached to the wall and a giant keyboard on the center.

By this point Steve was getting suspicious because if they had been expecting them it shouldn’t have been this easy to reach their goal. The man that had been typing furiously was now lying on the floor and Peggy quickly went to work searching the systems. What she was typing and what the monitors were showing completely went over Steve’s head so instead he focused on keeping watch for any last minute stragglers trying to stop them.

More typing with accompanied beeping and clicking and Peggy shouted an “ah-ha!” and yanked what Sharon had explained to him were ‘drives’ from the monitor.

“What’chu get, Hun?” Bucky asked.

“The trail,” she answered, proudly, “and something extra that may give us more on the long run. I don’t have enough time now to crack it.”

“They called reinforcements. We better get moving.”

“What about the weapons?” Steve reminded them.

“Gone,” Peggy answered. “They finished transferring the last batch and were in the middle of deleting everything in their system.”

“You managed to save some of it?”

“I saved this huge file that seems mighty suspicious and I found coordinates for what could be the new location.”

“Well whatever you got will have to do because they’re trying to block us in,” Bucky said while peeking out the room.

“Do we even have a ride back?” Steve readied his shield and stood next to Bucky.

“Rendezvous point. Jet’s waiting for us there already. We just have to reach it now.”

“Oh, great, running. Wouldn't be a proper mission without running.”

“Don’t tell me you’re already tired, old man.”

Steve punched him on his shoulder. “Shut up. That’s your nickname.”

“Well one of us has to use it.”

Peggy cleared her throat. “Can you both bicker another time? Preferably when we’re not surrounded by hostiles.”

“Right,” they both muttered.

Reloading her gun Peggy readied herself. “Shall we?”

Similarly to how they entered the building the three burst out in a flurry of movement and charged back for the stairs and the entrance. There were significantly less enemies surrounding the floors, mostly because they all gathered near the exit of the structure and thought forming a barrier would somehow stop them. It was safe to say it failed miserably. All of them had lined up horizontally and gave Steve the perfect aim to throw his shield and have it ricochet against the wall and strike every single one of their heads as it followed the line perfectly. The few idlers that were lucky to have avoided the shield were quickly taken down by Bucky and Peggy.

As they continued further down after they exited the building Steve began feeling dread build up in his chest and the suspicion from earlier returned. They reached the same bushes they hid with from before; passed the spot they used to surveillance the sight and gave Steve a chance to pick up his pack he hid. Bucky and Peggy picked up theirs further away, hidden under leaves and branches.

The more distance they gained the more Steve thought _this was too easy_.

He kept his eyes wide open. His instincts were screaming that something was about to go wrong at any moment, but nothing happened. Nothing continued to happen even when they began slowing down as they neared the rendezvous point. It was far too quiet and calm when they finally reached the spot.

“Have you contacted them?” Bucky asked, searching the sky.

“I sent them a signal. They should be here any moment now.” Peggy messed with the device on her wrist.

“Tell them to hurry their asses up. I need a shower after this. I’ve got nature all over me.”

“I’ll make sure to use those words exactly,” Peggy deadpanned.

While they continued talking to each other, Steve felt a cold chill rise on his spine. The hairs on the back of his neck stood and he had this feeling they were being watched. Then, everything happened in slow motion.

The first thing was a beep, a beep that continued rhythmically. Steve, Bucky and Peggy looked down at the same time to the noise, located right next to Peggy’s feet. The color on her face disappeared. Bucky screamed something for the night to echo but it was drowned out by the sudden explosion that sent all three of them flying. Steve landed on his back with a heavy ‘thump’ but the high pitched sound in his head muffled that and blocked any other sound around him. The ground shook and dirt was raining everywhere, making their surroundings look as if it was snowing an ashy nightmare.

Steve didn’t dare move as his ears were pierced by that high pitched noise and once it dimmed down to a reasonable level he opened his eyes to a horrific sight. Peggy was on the other side of the explosion. Her body looked like a thrown rag doll with her face looking away from him. Next to her a dark figure stood and they were not Bucky.

Steve sucked in a breath when he realized the figure was the same figure he identified as the eighth player. The same mask that covered the face and dark silver covering both arms that reached from the hands to the shoulders. Up close Steve noticed the dark armor the person was wearing covered with straps that hid multiple weapons and in the figures left arm was a launcher that was without a doubt the launcher that threw the grenade at them.

The figure kneeled down to Peggy and searched for something. Steve desperately tried getting up, shouting a ‘no’ and shaking. The figure paid him no mind until he found what he was looking for. It was the drive Peggy had the information they came for in. The figure crushed it in his hand and turned to face Steve. It was unnerving having the masked face look at him. The black goggles and the muzzle hiding him and the long, curly hair obscuring any visible skin the mask couldn’t reach.

The figure stood and Steve thought that was the end. The figure was going to launch another bomb and finish the job, but much to Steve’s shock the man turned away and began running.

Steve should have let him go. He should have focused on helping Peggy and Bucky. He was in no condition to follow and engage in a fight, but a boiling rage filled him. Peggy and Bucky were injured because of the figure and Steve couldn’t do anything to stop the attack. His friends could be dying, or already be dead, and Steve was going to be left alone, losing the last pieces of his past and the little happiness he had left. He already lost Tony and now he was about to lose Bucky and Peggy, too.

With ears ringing and legs shaking he stood, grabbed his shield and gave chase. With determination he gained speed and caught up with the figure that was toward the opposite direction of where the factory was located. With anger fueling his body he threw the shield right at the figures head and right when it looked like the man was going to get struck he turned at the very last second and caught the shield, stopping it in its track. A loud clang was heard from the contact of metal on… metal. That was when Steve realized the silver covering the man’s arms weren’t armor wrapped around them. They were the man’s _actual arms_. They were exactly like Bucky’s arm, but darker, leaner and with a glowing red star located on the right one.

Because of the mask Steve couldn’t see what facial expression the figure had as he threw the shield back at him with double the force. Because of the bomb weakening his state he was unable to stay on his feet as he caught the shield and ended up kneeling down on one leg, now at the mercy of the figure, but like before the figure turned away and continued running.

His vision began blurring but Steve refused to go down, not until he returned to his friends, not until he knew they were safe. By some miracle he managed to return to their side and found Bucky kneeling next to Peggy’s body, checking her pulse and chanting “Peggy, stay with me.”

Steve sat next to them and reached out for Peggy’s hand, feeling a small pulse on her wrist. She was alive for now but if they didn’t get help soon she wasn’t going to make it.

“Where the hell is that jet!” Bucky screamed.

Steve’s eyes began to grow heavy but he refused to close them. It wasn’t until he heard the roar of an engine that he finally let go and allowed sleep to overtake him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is curious I've been working on a small playlist for this fic. Let me know if you guys want to see it and I'll post the song list on the next chapter. 
> 
> Also, if anyone wants to suggest some songs you guys think would fit perfectly for Tony and Steve do so! I'd love to see what ideas you guys have. If you have songs that would fit Bucky or Peggy's situation instead suggest them, too! Even if they're songs that somehow fit Sharon or Howard by all means let me know. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and sticking with me everyone. <3


	9. The Iron Soldier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. The moment. Hold on to something. Hold on to your head, your butt, your computer/laptop/cellphone screen, hold on to me, hold me. No, really, hold me because imma need it.
> 
> I put the playlist at the bottom. Scroll down if you want to see and hear the list first!

Steve felt dizzy and disoriented and his sight was obscured by some sort of invisible fog and he had no idea where he was. He was in an odd mix of familiarity and unknown. The place felt familiar, a public gathering with dark walls and warm light and there were folks walking along the displays that lamps were aimed at and illuminated, but Steve had no idea what the location was meant for or where to even find it. It was the first time he saw the place. 

He wanted to move and follow after the line to look at what everyone seemed interested in but his body refused to budge. He instead tried staring at the displays, hoping to catch a glimpse through the spaces in-between the moving bodies but all he got for his troubles were blank canvases and naked mannequins.

On the spot he remained as the people moved on without him. All their faces were to the walls so no one body stood out for him. It was an endless river of backs moving in a slow flow until it just stopped. There was no warning or preparation whatsoever. The line of people just stopped completely. All of them stood uncomfortably straight and the room had an air of eerie stillness. The only noise that was heard was the frantic beating of Steve’s heart.

Ahead of where he stood there was a small gathering that were set up as if hiding something. Slowly, the gathering shifted and parted to reveal another person standing with their back to him but the difference between this person and the rest was what they were wearing. This person was wearing an outfit Steve thought he would never see again. It was the very outfit Tony had worn on the day he fell off the train. Even if Steve was looking at it from behind he would recognize it anywhere. The image of Tony falling and his gear flashing forever engraved in his mind.

The person wearing the outfit began moving, his shoulders shifting and arms raising as he sprinted forward. Steve followed after him, shouting something he couldn’t comprehend as his body suddenly gained mobility and ran. The room and the people melted away from his sight and was replaced by the empty city streets of New York. He ran a straight line after the man, slowly catching up with him until out of nowhere the man halted and twisted around with his left arm sticking out. In his hand was a gun aimed right at Steve and when Steve panned to the side to get a look of the man’s face his breath stopped.

Maybe he was finally losing his mind. That would explain why he was looking at Tony’s emotionless face attached to the man who was currently pointing his gun at him that made it look as if Tony was about to shoot him. That had to be it because Tony would never aim a weapon at him or deliberately want to hurt him. He would never. Tony loved him.

Steve was about to say Tony’s name, his tongue touching the roof of his mouth and ready to create the ‘T’ sound when Tony’s head shifted and his blank facial expression changed. The sun must have gotten blocked because the golden hue of the streets dimmed and shadows of the buildings grew larger. One particularly large shadow fell upon Tony just as his faces gained a sadistic grin to it, making him look insane as he held the gun and without warning, never letting Steve react to the situation, he pulled the trigger.

Steve jolted awake and caused the bed he was resting on to jump and squeak. A rapid beeping was the only noise he came to and the sight of a white sterilized room with white curtains covering the only window. The source of the beeping was the heart monitor connected to him and was probably signaling doctors or nurses of a possible problem and gave him about three minutes or less before his room was invaded.

Those three minutes or less gave him enough time to recall what happened before he blacked out. He remembered the mission, Bucky and Peggy and him taking down guards, retrieving the information, the eighth player and the bomb! He remembered Peggy’s battered body and Bucky leaning over her in fear.

The nurse who came in first didn’t take her second step inside before Steve started demanding for Peggy’s status.

“Rest assure she’s in good hands, but we need to have you looked over first.”

Steve pushed himself up, ignoring the aches and his body’s protests. “I need to see her.”

“Sir, please, we need to make sure -”

“I’m _fine_. I need to see if she’s alright,” not caring if he broke the machine he pulled carefully at the wires and stood. He was blocked from the door by the first nurse and her backup that appeared shortly after her. “Stand aside.”

“Sir, we have to -”

Steve scowled. He knew it was rude of him but he was wasting time just standing here instead of using it to check on his two friends. “Ma’am, please move before I do something drastic like break through the wall in order to get past you.”

The nurses all seemed to pale but that had done the trick and they moved to create a little pathway between them. Steve thanked them and continued forward down the hall, not even caring that his only clothing was the standard hospital gown. He was probably giving folks a show but he needed to find them.

Luck was on his side because Sharon rounded the corner and came sprinting to him. In her arms was a blanket and she quickly unfolded when she reached him. “I’m all for this amazing show you’re giving us, Steve, but put this on before you make those married nurses go to confession.”

Steve blushed but wrapped the blanket around him. “Thank you. How did you know?”

Sharon gave him an unimpressed look. “What? How did I know you might go off the rails and ignore doctors and nurses’ orders and walk around almost buck naked in your search for aunty and uncle’s rooms? You’re not the only supersoldier that ignores their own well-being in order to make sure your loved ones are alright. The first time Peggy and Bucky got sent to the hospital Bucky did the same as you and ran around the halls looking for Peggy with only his gown. Safe to say all the nurses and doctors enjoyed working that day.”

Steve snorted and leaned dangerously to the right without realizing it. Sharon quickly flanked him and wrapped one arm around his shoulder and used the other to help steer him. “I should have known you were going to be just as stubborn as them,” she said.

“Something we all have in common, it seems,” Steve allowed her to move him, leaning against her a bit. “Are they alright? Do you know what happened?”

Sharon led him down the hall. “They’re fine; they managed to bring you three to a hospital just in time.” Steve sighed in relief at hearing that. They’re alright. He hadn’t lost them. They’re alive. “Peggy received the worst of the damage. If she hadn’t been wearing her vest under her cat suit she would’ve ended up with a chest full of shrapnel. The bomb was nearest to her.”

Steve remembered that. The bomb was thrown about a foot or two away from her. The masked figure was aiming specifically for her because of the drive with the information and if only he or Bucky had been carrying it instead she wouldn’t have been a target.

“How long have we been here?”

“Two days. I arrived yesterday and managed to get my hands on all your stuff. I’d hate to imagine what Coulson would’ve done if he heard that a curious doctor or nurse kept your uniform and shield as a souvenir.”

“When can we leave?”

“As soon as the doc gives the a-okay to transfer you guys, shouldn’t be long, what with the fast healing you three have. Peggy will be complaining to us and getting impatient in no time,” as she said this they arrived in front of a room that had the shadowy outline that could only belong to Bucky reflecting on the door’s curtain. Bucky twisted around when he heard the door open and grinned at Steve.

“Couldn’t wait either and gave everyone a show, too, huh?”

“You know me, Buck, can’t resist letting you do something without me.”

“Punk.”

“Jerk.”

Bucky chuckled and then turned back to look at the sleeping figure on the bed. Peggy was laying there with bandages wrapped around her arms and chest and had a couple of scrapes decorating her beautiful face. The color wasn’t completely back but it was a better than the pale alternative.

Sharon led him to a chair placed next to Bucky’s and helped sit him down and asked, “I’ll be getting some coffee. You both want any?”

Bucky shook his head. “No thanks, Share.”

“Thank you, Sharon, but not right now,” Steve said with a wave as she walked out of the room, promising to be back later.

The only two awake souls in the room remained sitting as time went on. Bucky would on occasion adjust the blanket over Peggy, pulling it up to her shoulders and pulling it back when he believed the blankets would somehow suffocate her, even though they were nowhere near her nose. He’d pull them back only to pull them up again and the process continued like this for half an hour.

Steve watched him do this with a fond gaze, not daring to interrupt in fear that he would break the pattern. A few times he added his contribution by gently patting Peggy’s covered arm affectionately.

“Hey, that’s my wife you’re trying to be sweet on,” Bucky joked on Steve’s seventh pat.

“Wouldn’t dream of doing that to you, Buck. Besides, she’ll kick me from here to Sunday if I tried.”

“Damn straight she will. She won’t let a bomb keep her down and she definitely won’t take your nonsense sitting down. She’s a firecracker.”

“Don’t I know it,” Steve thought back to the first time he saw her and how she knocked that one soldier down on the ground. It was amazing.

“Still, I’d do without a bomb going off near her,” Bucky’s voice went uncharacteristically soft and made him sound small.

Steve couldn’t agree with him more. “If only I had been carrying that drive. The bomb would’ve gone for me and she wouldn’t be on the bed right now.”

“But you would,” his best friend cut in, “and I’m not about to let you do that, Steve. It should’ve been me carrying the drive. I should’ve thought about the dangers in carrying that thing. I nearly got my leg blown off getting the location for that place. Whatever weapons they have smuggled here they’re trying really hard to keep hidden and I should’ve known the lengths these bastards are going through to keep it that way.”

“Well I’m not going to let you take the fall alone, Buck. It’s my fault for not paying more attention to the eighth guy. He’s the guy I spotted and disappeared before we broke in,” Steve revealed. “That alone should’ve raised my red flags, and it did, but I ignored them. It was stupid of me to. He had the obvious looks of trouble and there was something unnerving about him.”

“What do you remember about him? What did he look like?”

Steve scrambled his head, trying to remember every detail he saw about the figure. “I couldn’t see his face. He wore goggles and a muzzle for some reason. He had armor on but I can’t think of a group attached to the style. The thing about him that stands out, though,” Steve looked to Bucky’s silver arm that, now that he had something else to compare it with, was a bit bulkier and sharper than the figure’s two arms, “he has metal arms, Buck.”

Bucky’s eyes widened. “Like my arm?”

“Yeah, except his looked,” Steve shook his hands trying to find the words for it. Trying to explain and define technology he didn’t understand was unsurprisingly hard. “His was different. It was thinner than yours and smoother and was a shade darker.” He recalled the distinctive feature on the arm. “He had a glowing red star on the right arm.”

The one-armed soldier’s eyes widened a fraction before he frowned in thought. Steve could practically see him searching for an answer until it finally came to him.

“Shit,” Bucky growled. “Shit, shit, shit.”

 _Language_ was at the tip of Steve’s tongue but he figured this wasn’t exactly the time. “Buck?”

“You should have told me when you spotted him the first time,” Bucky ran his flesh hand through his hair. “Two metal arms and a glowing red star, there’s only one person that fits that description.”

“I didn’t notice the metal arms the first time I saw him,” Steve confessed, feeling terrible that he could’ve prevented all of this if only he had focused on the eighth player, but he didn’t, and now Peggy was unconscious and hurt. “The only thing I noticed was the mask. Who is he, Buck?”

Bucky looked pained as he said, “We don’t know, that’s the thing. We only know some call him by the name of Iron Soldier, and got nothing else about him. There are others who don’t even believe he’s real. He’s a ghost, but he’s a fucking dangerous ghost. If he’s helping these bastards, if he’s part of their group, then we’re in some serious shit.”

Steve took the entire information in. “If he’s a ghost then how do you know about him?” He saw the awake brunette maul it over until he decided to lift his metal arm up and twist it for Steve to see.

“This isn’t my first arm, not a chance. The first arm Stark made for me was bigger, a bunch of circles attached to resemble an arm. I lived with that thing for years, getting it upgraded time and time again until it started to resemble what you see right now. Stark did a helluva job attaching it with my nerves,” Bucky’s face went grim, “and the ghost did a helluva job yanking it off.”

The only blonde in the room choked on his spit. “He _yanked_ it off?”

“Not the whole thing, no. He left maybe twelve inches of the metal still attached and dismantled the rest. Hurt like a bitch because it was basically like someone breaking my arm and cutting it off without any of the bloody mess.”

Steve felt bile rise in his throat. Bucky managed to live through that? _Holy sh_ -

“The moment you said the figure had two metal arms and a glowing red star on one I knew it was that bastard. We’re fucking lucky to be alive, Steve. We were caught unprepared and defenseless at his feet. If he wanted to kill us he could’ve.”

“Why didn’t he?”

Bucky snorted, but it wasn’t from amusement. “The question of the century. Why would a boogeyman assassin not kill three injured targets that were at his mercy?” He shrugged. “I don’t know. The same reason why I managed to walk with my life the first time I saw him? I was on the floor in pain from having my arm yanked off, Steve. I couldn’t do anything to stop him, even if I had tried, but all he did was kill the doc I was protecting and walked off. Left me on the floor as if I was garbage.”

His metal arm whirred as his first clenched and unclenched. “He was sent to kill the doc and only the doc. He didn’t bother to kill me, didn’t need to. I wasn’t in his way. I was neutralized and he didn’t see me fit to kill. He had the chance but he didn’t take it, didn’t even bother to look at me after he killed my doc. Just walked away.”

“He -” Steve started, remembering how the ghost faced him after crushing the drive. “He looked at me after he got what he was after. Looked at me and then ran and I chased after him, but - but even after I attacked him he still didn’t try to kill me. I gave him a reason to act, but he didn’t take it. He just… left.”

“He’s playing us,” Bucky growled. “He has to be.”

Steve found himself thinking. Playing with them could be a reason, but that seemed unlikely because playing entails taunting and the figure did none. He didn’t talk and the mask prevented them from seeing any facial expressions. There had to be another reason why the ghost just walked away from easy targets. An order, perhaps? Kill only what they were after and ignore anything else. Or maybe there was a story behind the reason? A past, possibly a code the ghost lived by, or maybe the ghost left them alive as a warning.

Whatever the reason it may be it didn’t matter now because it had been done. They were alive and knew the group smuggling weapons had a very powerful ally and they needed to think of a new plan.

“He has a funny way of playing with friends.”

Both Steve and Bucky snapped their heads toward the bed and found Peggy awake and facing them. Her eyes were hazy and unfocused but she had enough spark in them to show she was paying attention to the best of her ability.

“Hun,” Bucky stood up and gently grasped her blanket-covered hand. He kissed her forehead. “You scared the shit out of me.”

She hummed softly and gave a tired smile. “Love you, too, dear. How are…?”

“I’m fine. Steve’s fine, too. Sharon will be back in a bit. She went to get herself coffee.”

“Sounds nice.”

“How much were you awake for?”

Peggy scrunched her face in an adorable manner in thought. “Ghost and arm ripping and playing. Please tell me my stuff isn’t in some storage.”

“No, they’re safely with Share. No one is touching your specially designed guns or your sewn garments.”

“Good. Angie would be mad if I lost them.”

“Old friend of hers,” Bucky explained when Steve gave him a puzzled look. “She supported Peg when she first started out after we went under the ice.”

“Ah,” Steve nodded in understanding.

“Not just an old friend, I’ll have you know, James,” Peggy slurred.

Bucky cringed, “Alright so they might have been an item, not that I’m jealous, or anything. Naturally others will try to take my Peggy but I won her fair and square. Angie happened before me, though. You should have seen them together, Steve. They were a sight to see.”

“An item?” Steve repeated in disbelief. “You mean, Peggy you’re -?”

Peggy tried shaking her head. “Only Angie. Then time happened and then James. Only stayed together for a couple of years.”

Steve stopped his mouth from hitting the floor. Peggy had liked someone else of the same gender. It wasn’t just him. Sure the talk of same-sex relationships hadn’t come up for a very long time now, Steve having grown used to being accepted by the important people in his life, but hearing that one of those people also went through the same territory as him made him feel… accompanied. He wasn’t alone. There had only been Tony going through the same waters as him, but that didn’t count, exactly, because Tony was the same person he was with. Bucky had chased the gals and was now married to Peggy. Peggy had shown interest in him back then and was now with Bucky. Sharon had a crush on him but that was about the extent of his knowledge of her interests.

It was all expected by society.

But Peggy had been in a relationship with this Angie person and now, deep in his subconscious that was brought to light because of the conversation, Steve suddenly didn’t feel that speck of loneliness in his chest.

Steve smiled freely. “I’m sure she was great to have won you over, Peg.”

“The best,” Peggy grinned. “She was fantastic.”

“Husband right here, guys,” Bucky grumbled but had a playful smile on his face.

She cooed at him. “Incredible husband. One and only,” her words began slurring together.

He cooed back. “How much did they dose you with, sweetie? Takes a lot to drug us.”

“Enough to get impaired. Still functioning. James do you have - clone? There’s two James. And two Steves. The more - merrier.”

“I think it’s time for you to sleep again,” Bucky held back a chuckle, kissed her forehead again and sat down. “We’ll be right here. Get some rest.”

“No rest. Drive. Need to crack the code - find location.”

Both Steve and Bucky looked crestfallen. The drive? That was gone. Crushed under the metal arm of the ghost. They were on square one on trying to find the location the weapons moved to.

“The drive was destroyed, Peg,” Steve said. “We’re running blind on finding the location.”

“No,” Peggy denied, “no, can’t. Both drives? Both gone?”

Both? And then Steve felt like smacking himself because of course _both_. He remembered Peggy grabbing two drives from the system after transferring the information and also remembered the ghost only crushed _one_. How could he have forgotten that? The ghost didn’t grab both drives, meaning they still had one somewhere in their stuff with the location. They were still in the dangerous game, but now they had a chance. They knew what to expect now. They could fight back.

“Steve?” Bucky snapped him out of his thoughts, waiting for an answer to his wife’s question.

“No, not both drives.” Hope rose in his chest. “The second drive should be with our stuff, in Sharon’s care.”

“Then it wasn’t a lost cause after all.”

“Drive. Get drive and computer,” Peggy ordered. “We need to find location.”

“What you need is to rest. You won’t be doing much all drugged up like you are right now,” Bucky countered.

Peggy remained stubborn and, in a strategic move, made her eyes look bigger and she pouted. She _pouted_. There was no way any man or woman could have resisted those eyes. Steve didn’t think anyone besides Tony could have pulled that pout off, but here was Peggy doing exactly that. Maybe Tony had learned that lethal and dangerous pout from her. That would explain a lot.

Steve could physically see Bucky’s will waver at the look. He remained firm for only a few seconds before he sighed and said “I’ll get them as soon as Sharon returns, but only if you promise to rest first.”

“Promise,” Peggy said, slowly closing her eyes as sleep caught up with her. She was out in seconds.

Silence passed for a brief moment before Steve said, “Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“I thought Tony was the only one who could use those eyes.”

“Where do you think he learned it? Steve, I gotta say, I owe you an apology.”

“For what?”

“For giving you a hard time each time Tony got you to do something when he pulled that face. Those eyes are dangerous. I don’t know how you managed to resist at all.”

“It wasn’t easy, that’s for sure. You’re forgiven, but, Buck, you know what this means?”

“...what?”

“Payback time.”

~~

 

Sharon walked through the door three days later housing her aunt, uncle and friend. The sight she came upon had her shaking her head in exasperation.

“Shouldn’t you be resting? I’m pretty sure the doc said ‘rest,’ meaning ‘sleep.’ This is not resting or sleeping.”

Steve, Peggy and Bucky were on the bed in Peggy’s room. Peggy sitting up on the middle with Steve and Bucky taking up her sides. On her lap was a laptop she was furiously tapping on and Steve and Bucky stared intently at the screen.

Peggy waved a hand at her. “I’ve been doing nothing but sleeping for the past five days. I’m plenty rested. I need to get started on this code.”

“I’ve slept for fifteen years,” Bucky said without looking at her.

“I’ll take that and raise it to sixty-six years,” Steve countered, also not looking at her.

Sharon frowned. “Really? I had expected this from Peggy and Bucky, but you, Steve? I thought you better.”

“Leave us alone, we’re senior citizens.”

Bucky shook his hand at her as if holding an invisible cane and mimicked the voice of an elderly, grumpy man. “You young whippersnappers. No respect these days.”

She snorted. “So I keep hearing. What’s the status?”

Peggy continued typing, practically smashing the keys. “Not in my favor. Each time I think I’m about to crack the code it rearranges itself and I have to start over. I get close to unlocking the last coding only for it to burst to life and change. It must be a safety mechanism.”

“What kind of group has that sort of safety mechanism?” Bucky asked.

“The same that has a ghost working for them as a bodyguard. _Bloody he_ -,” she took a deep breath. “I pride myself in the skills I managed to pick up over the years, and trust me I’ve picked up a lot, but I have to swallow my pride and throw in the towel here. This is beyond me. The code - it moves as if alive and reads my moves, bypassing everything I do. I can’t do this.”

Bucky studied the code dancing around on the screen. “It’s almost as if… no, that can’t be right.”

Sharon had walked to them, glancing over Steve’s shoulder to look at the screen. She, too, was studying the movement of the code and furrowed her brows in thought. “Doesn’t that look sort of like -”

“Peg, try it again,” Bucky said. He focused on the screen, searching for something. “Try and crack it and look at how the last coding moves.”

Peggy did. Her eyes searched for what her husband was meaning and once she reached the last coding and watched it rearrange itself she gasped. “Impossible.”

Steve, having no idea what was going on and apparently being the only one who didn’t understand the significance of how the coding moved, frowned. “What’s going on? I’m a recently woken up 40’s man, I need an explanation here.”

None of them answered him. Instead, Peggy tried cracking it again to watch the coding’s movement. “It can’t be. There's only one way for code to move like that.”

“But I thought there was only one in the whole entire world,” Sharon said.

“There is, but right now we’re seeing otherwise. It doesn’t make sense.”

“Guys?” Steve tried again. “Technologically impaired here. Can I have a hint of what’s going on?”

“I’m sorry, Steven. We’re facing something that we didn’t -” Peggy abruptly stopped and pulled her hands from the keyboard as if it burned. Without another word she quickly pulled the drive and slammed the laptop shut.

“Peg?” Bucky straightened up, his body vibrating with tension now.

“It’s impossible, but we must consider the possibility that it’s true and we’re facing a very dangerous threat that can hack us at any moment.”

“Hack?” Steve repeated. He didn’t understand coding or the numbers involved but he knew enough to understand that hacking was something you didn’t want happen to you.

“Steve,” Peggy turned to him, “how much do you know about AI’s? Artificial intelligence?”

Not that much, honestly. He remembered Tony mentioning that word in his recording. Something about an AI named JARVIS that was named after his butler Jarvis and belonged to him. He decided to go with that. “Tony had an AI. He named it after Jarvis. I don’t know exactly what JARVIS is or does.”

“JARVIS is something,” Bucky said, “and you’re right. Tony did have an AI. He created it. JARVIS is, as Tony would always say, ‘ _just a rather very intelligent system_.’ He’s a very advanced computer that talks and did everything Tony ordered him to. A computerized butler that can do just about anything through the systems.”

Just about anything, meaning he could search, hack and possibly even change coding… “You think JARVIS might be responsible for changing the codes?”

“No, I wish that was the case because then at least we’d know, but he hasn’t been active for nearly two years now, and unless someone broke into one of the world’s most secured building or hacked its system JARVIS should still be out of commission.”

“Then… who?”

“That’s what we’re worried about.” Bucky, Peggy and Sharon exchanged looks. “The only known AI to exist is on pause, and the only person to ever create one is gone. Someone in this group managed to get their own and is using it to hide weapons. We’re going up against someone who is technologically advanced against us.”

“We might need to wake up JARVIS for this one,” Sharon said.

“We need to get to him first.”

“James,” Peggy grabbed his arm and turned pale. “I’ve been trying to crack this code for three hours.”

Realization dawned on Bucky’s face and he paled as well. “ _Shit_.”

As if a switch had been flipped both Bucky and Peggy jumped from the bed and quickly began gathering their things that were resting on the seats. Sharon got her phone out and pressed to make a phone call only to repeatedly slam on the red button to end it before the first ring could be heard. “Is it possible for them to have hacked the phones already?”

Bucky was strapping his vest and boots on and Peggy was zipping up her suit. “Better to be safe and not make contact until we’re back in S.H.I.E.L.D territory. We don’t want surprises,” warned Bucky. “Steve! Put your outfit on we need to move, now! Peggy, the laptop.”

Steve hopped up from the bed and began frantically putting his uniform on as Peggy grabbed the laptop. Even before he was finished Bucky, Peggy and Sharon were already running out the door. He jumped after them as he fastened his boot and grabbed his shield and put on his helmet. “What’s going on?” he asked when he caught up with them.

“I’ve been trying to crack the code, not realizing I was fighting against an AI. Whoever created this AI can find just about anything through hacking, like finding the location of where a drive holding information of smuggled weapons currently is,” Peggy said grimly.

That was when Steve realized how much trouble they were in. Three hours of uninterrupted coordinates was enough time for a dangerous character to locate and reach them. They were sitting ducks because, not only were they still wounded from the explosion, they were in the middle of a city full of civilians. If anyone were to engage them they could cause some serious damage, not just to them but also the civilians caught in the crossfire.

“And I hate to think who they’d send to come after us, since we know how well that went last time,” Bucky muttered, leading the way down the halls and out of the building.

“Our ride to S.H.I.E.L.D is south from here. We’ll need to get through the city in order to reach the jet,” Sharon informed them, leading them over to a black car parked on the lot. She held out a set of keys and jiggled them. “Who wants to drive?”

Bucky held up his hand, “Hand them over.”

“Don’t scratch it. It’s a rental.”

The car ride through the city was calm, quiet and absolutely nerve wrecking for all of them because at any given moment someone who didn’t want their location of weapons to be found could burst through the car windows, or rain bullets upon them, or even throw another bomb and cause the car to flip over. Steve was sitting in the back along with Sharon while Peggy took the passenger side. All four of them were searching through the passing crowds and rooftops for a suspicious figure, or even suspicious figures. Just looking for anyone out of place. They were caught off-guard once, they weren’t going to let it happen again.

“How much longer?” Peggy asked after a while.

“Almost there. We just need to find the bridge on Fourth and it’ll be right around the corner,” Sharon said.

“Good. The sooner we’re on air the better. This game of hide and seek is not good for my old nerves.”

“You don’t look a day over forty, hun,” Bucky said.

“Flatter.”

The sounds of car horns honking at something on the road stopped them dead. All four stopped breathing, it was as if the very air escaped from them and they couldn’t regain it. The honking echoed down the street and even though they couldn’t see the reason _why_ the drivers were honking they knew something was wrong. They felt it in their bones. Fear clutched at them. Then, as if their nightmare was coming true, the cars swerved to the sides, like curtains opening to reveal what was behind them, in order to avoid hitting a figure standing in the middle of the street.

There he was.

The ghost.

The same figure who had thrown a bomb at them and was currently holding another launcher in his arms.

He lifted it up and aimed straight at them.

“Everyone hold on!” Bucky screamed as he sharply swerved the car to the right just as the Iron Soldier launched a bomb at them. Bucky just narrowly avoided the bomb but the buildings behind them weren’t so lucky. The explosion shook the ground and sent civilians running.

“We need to get away from the people!” Steve shouted, clutching the door handle and his seat.

“James!” Peggy pointed at the Soldier as he released yet another bomb.

“Shit!” Bucky swerved to the opposite direction and caused the car to drive over the sidewalk. People were jumping left and right and those who weren’t lucky enough to avoid the car’s hood rolled off as Bucky accelerated.

They were getting close to the Soldier now, only feet away. The Soldier was in the middle of reloading and Bucky saw his chance. He slammed his foot on the accelerator and sped directly at the Soldier, never showing hesitation as he drove the car to run over the man. The Soldier wasn’t fast enough to reload and fire and was forced to jump to the side in order to avoid getting hit. He moved over to Steve’s side and Steve managed to catch a glance of the black mask and watched the wind blow the curly hair away from the small portion of visible forehead and noticed the skin scrunch up, a sure sign that he was scowling.

The car kept going and the Soldier was left behind. Steve twisted around to look behind for any more bombs launched at them and saw instead the Soldier stand there for a second before he sprinted off to Steve’s right.

“He’s on the move!”

“Which way?” Bucky drove through three red lights and turned right. The bridge was nowhere within sight.

“He went rig -” Something slammed the top of the car hard enough to dent it inward. The car shook and caused Bucky to zigzag in order to get control again. The four of them didn’t need to see what had caused the damaged or who exactly was on the roof of the car, they all knew.

Not giving the Soldier a chance to start shooting Bucky slammed the breaks and caused the car to skid to a stop, nearly throwing Steve and Sharon through the front window. The Soldier wasn’t so lucky and was sent flying. All four watched as the Soldier rolled, turned and planted his feet down in order to slow himself, even using one of his metal arms to claw at the asphalt.

“Out! Everyone out!” Peggy ordered.

The Soldier had a shotgun now and the moment he stopped sliding he stood and aimed only to turn abruptly and use his arm as a shield when Peggy began firing her guns first. This gave Steve his chance to fling his shield and knock the Soldier down momentarily. During the pause Sharon ran to find shelter behind one of the many parked cars that stopped the moment guns began firing. She had her phone out and was shouting at it. Peggy also ran behind a car while frantically ordering the civilians to run and get out of the way.

Steve and Bucky charged together to the Soldier as he flipped to stand and were forced to stop and jump out of the way when he pulled the launcher out again (the launcher on one hand and the shotgun on the other) and fired. The bomb went flying and exploded their black rental car. Bucky acted quickly and ran the last few paces, grabbed the metal arm holding the launcher with his own and twisted, yanking the launcher and throwing it a distance away. Steve acted next and went for the other arm to subdue but was knocked down to his knee when the Soldier kicked unexpectedly at his shin. Bucky was sent reeling back when the Soldier decided to release the shotgun and slammed his face.

Steve reached for the shotgun and flung it to accompany the launcher away from the Soldier. The gun attached on the Soldier’s back was the last weapon visible to them and after Bucky recovered and yanked it off the Soldier became weaponless. Together, Steve and Bucky double-teamed him, being careful not to have a full powered attack landing anywhere on their body. Those metal arms looked dangerous and painful and they were still sore from the bomb five days ago.

At one point the Soldier surprised them and slammed an elbow on Steve’s chest and punched Bucky’s shoulder hard enough to knock the wind out of them. Taking steps back brought Steve next to his shield and out of reflex he grabbed it and went for a strike. The Soldier was facing Bucky and had just struck his shoulder and so didn’t see Steve coming until he turned. Steve aimed and let his arm go, hitting the Soldier’s face and cracking the goggles.

The strike was enough to apparently make him reconsider his next course of action and he jumped away from them and hid behind a car. Bucky and Steve used this moment to catch their breath before exchanging a silent agreement. They were about to charge behind the car and end this once and for all, but before they could take a fourth step the Soldier appeared standing over the hood of the vehicle and his goggles were gone.

The eyes felt eerily familiar to Steve, but that seemed to happen every time he saw big brown eyes. It shouldn’t have been anything, but these eyes were different. They were too close to… far too close to be a coincidence, but these eyes were older, darker, there were no innocence in them. It couldn’t be.

The Soldier stood on his spot, glaring at them with his now visible eyes. His right arm with the red star started whirring, as if charging and was seconds away from exploding. The star glowing brighter and brighter. Steve instinctively pulled his shield up and planted his feet down for whatever was going to happen.

In a split second the Soldier aimed his right arm out at Bucky, opened his hand to reveal a red circle on his palm, the circle glowed, and the Soldier fired.

Bucky dodged the red blast by falling on the floor and scrambled to get on his feet when the Soldier fired again. “Shit.”

Steve jumped to block the attack, amazed when the blast reflected and hit the side of a building. The red blasts kept coming, some hitting his shield, others hitting near his feet, some flying over his head. He moved after Bucky, seeking shelter but only causing disaster as the blasts followed them and exploded the abandoned cars in the way.

The Soldier got off the car and followed after them, his right arm relentlessly firing blasts after blasts. Just before Steve ran behind a car, hiding the Soldier from his sight, he saw Peggy jump up from behind the man, pulled out a wire and wrapped it around his neck. The Soldier was quick enough to put his left hand in the way but the momentum Peggy had gained prevented him from stopping the wire in its place. He shook and struggled to knock her off, even moving his right arm to aim the blast right at Peggy’s face, but Bucky came charging and stopped it, locking it in place with his own.

Steve came running after them but didn’t make it in time as the Soldier twisted his right hand and tried his best to have the circle hover over Bucky’s chest, or at least close enough to maybe scrape him and fired. The full blast didn’t hit him but it was enough for Bucky to shift and give the Soldier an opening, earning a punch to his face. With his right arm free the Soldier reached for the wire around his neck and pulled it off, causing Peggy to be pulled forward as she refused to let go. Not given a choice she finally released it and clung to whatever she could in order to stay on the man. In doing so she ended up grabbing the edge of the man’s mask just as the man slammed his head back and hit her jaw. He pushed her off, the mask going with her, and turned.

Steve skidded to a stop, his heavy breathing filling his ears. All the sounds around them stopped.

It couldn’t be. It _couldn’t_. He was dreaming because this couldn’t be happening.

He wasn’t supposed to ever see him again. He was gone. Ghosts weren’t supposed to exist.

 _Oh my God_.

“Tony?”

He couldn’t believe those words left his mouth, but there was no other explanation as to what he was seeing. The man, the _Soldier,_ had his face. He was older with lines on his forehead, stubble on his jaw and his body filled out compared to the thin and small structure Steve had engraved in his mind. And the eyes, oh, his beautiful brown eyes that were filled with innocence and happiness that made them shine so bright were no longer there. Instead, anguish swirled in them, the innocence long gone and they were dim, defeated, the spark having disappeared. And his arms, oh _God_ , his _arms_ were gone and replaced by metal. He almost wished it was a dream because this was something he never wanted to see on Tony.

The Soldier - no, _Tony_ \- didn’t react and for the first time since this all started he spoke. “Who the hell is Tony?”

A second later he aimed his arm at Steve, ready to fire. Bucky tackled him down, sending both him and Tony rolling. Tony broke free from the tangle and threw Bucky to the side, stood and looked to Steve again. This time there was evident confusion on his face, as if he couldn’t figure out why Steve was looking at him like a long lost friend. It disappeared as he tried one last time to aim and fire, but a whistling sound and a black object flying across from him caused all four of them to twist and duck in order to avoid the scattered debris from the explosion.

Sharon stood a distance from them with the launcher in her hands, the shotgun on the floor near her feet. The few seconds it took Steve to turn and find the source of the bomb and look back was enough for Tony to have gotten up and disappear from sight. Steve frantically searched the area for a sign of him but, similar to a ghost, he was gone.

For a moment he wondered if he snapped and imagined the whole thing, but Peggy and Bucky were breathing heavily from a very real and physical altercation and there was destruction everywhere from things blowing up and bullets raining and if Steve hadn’t imagined that then there was no reason for him to have imagined it was Tony who was trying to kill them and was working for a group responsible in smuggling weapons.

And didn’t that just tear his already fragile heart apart.

He was just recovering and suddenly this happened. Someone out there was having too much fun tormenting him.

Tired, emotionally drained and feeling defeated Steve fell to his knees. If someone out there wanted him to suffer endlessly then they might as well just end it because at this point Steve didn’t think he had the energy anymore to care.

Numb to what was around him Steve vaguely acknowledge that Bucky was kneeling in front of him and shaking his shoulders. He gave him enough of a hint to show he was listening but he wasn’t all there.

“Steve? Steve..,” Bucky looked worried. “What the hell did you say?”

He wanted to say he didn’t know. He didn’t know what he said or why he said it. He was going mad and everything he saw and was currently seeing was all in his head. A dream, that’s what was happening, it was all a dream. He was going to wake up any minute.

Then Bucky ruined it. “Did you see him, too?”

_Oh, God. It was real._

~~

 

The four of them made it on the jet, even though they were exhausted and didn’t know how they managed it.

Sometime during the fight Sharon had called for reinforcements and currently S.H.I.E.L.D agents were surrounding the destroyed area, picking up clues and talking to witnesses while already working on the prices of the damage.

The flight back was almost dead silent and tension was eating away at them. Steve wasn’t the only one to have seen Tony. Bucky had managed to catch a glimpse just before he charged at him. Steve calling out the name was the reason Bucky even bothered to study the face because none of them just called a stranger Tony without a reason. Peggy and Sharon didn’t get a chance to see him, what with Peggy standing to the side behind him and Sharon was too far away to get a good look, but they had no reason not to believe what Steve and Bucky saw and now they, too, were shaken and re-thinking everything.

The silence continued but someone had to break it eventually. It was Sharon that did. “What are we going to do?”

“What is there to do?” Peggy said.

“We have two sets of eyes that saw someone who could potentially be Tony and you’re saying you don’t know?”

“We’re not - it’s not a sure thing what we saw. It could’ve been a lookalike,” Bucky said. “It could’ve been no one.”

“And if it wasn’t?” Sharon snapped, surprising them. “You don’t just mistake someone as Tony, not after eleven years of it never happening. If you said it looked like him then you have to consider it _might be_ him. Why are you acting as if he’s dead? He went _missing_ , not killed, and a body hasn’t turned up yet so there’s a chance. Why aren’t you jumping at this? This is our _family_. We should be doing everything right now to get him.”

“Sharon,” Steve’s voice was wavering, “it’s impossible. Tony disappeared a long time ago.”

“I know, I was there when it happened,” Sharon glared.

“No, I mean he disappeared years ago, sixty-six years ago.”

“...what?”

“Tony Stark and Tony Rhodes is the same person,” Steve finally revealed to her.

Sharon’s eyes widened. “That’s not possible.”

“It is, especially if Tony is responsible. He disappeared eleven years ago because he traveled to our time, a year before I became Captain America. Tony Stark _is_ Tony Rhodes and Tony is the one that fell off the train and died in the mountains.”

This huge revelation was too much to take in and Steve understood if Sharon needed time to think it through, after all this was her cousin she grew up with and heard stories about, but if anything she got angrier. Her glare was back and it was fierce. She looked a second away from slapping sense into him.

“He went through all that in order to be with you and this is how you’re going to return it? You see someone that looks like him and you’re just going to sit there and deny it could be him without even trying to get to the bottom of it? He went missing in action and his body has yet to be found. My statement still stands, we aren’t sure if he’s really dead and we should be going after him.”

“But it’s been over sixty years.”

“So?” Sharon countered that left him speechless. “You’re ninety years old, all three of you. If you can do it why can’t he? He was with Bucky when they were captured, wasn’t he?”

“Holy shit,” Bucky breathed out. “He was experimented on, too. And he already had Stark's serum enhance genetic makeup. He could have double the potency.”

“He could’ve survived the fall,” Peggy said.

“Oh, God,” Steve said when he realized what this all meant. He wasn’t going mad and he didn’t imagine seeing him. The Soldier was actually Tony. His Tony was alive and he was here and he was _alive_ , but he didn’t remember him, remember any of them. Tony needed their help. Whoever had found him on the mountains must have done something to him, erased his memories possibly, or he might be suffering from amnesia, either way Steve needed to get him back.

“It’s our Tony, our little baby boy,” Peggy’s voice cracked.

“We need to find him,” Steve said for all of them.

“He’s a ghost. He hasn’t been found before and he’s not about to be found now just because we want it. If we want even the slightest chance of getting to him we’re going to need help,” Bucky informed them.

All of them thought the same thing. “We need JARVIS.”

Determination swirled in their eyes with a goal clearly set in their hearts. Steve promised himself to do everything he could in order to get Tony back in his arms. “Let’s get our Tony.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you wanted to see it so here's the small playlist of mine!  
> It's divided into two parts. The first is the search for Tony. Second part is Tony recovering and Steve, Peggy and Bucky helping him. 
> 
> First Part:  
> 1\. I Started a Joke – Becky Hanson (Main theme)  
> 2\. Broken - Lifehouse (Steve’s perspective)  
> 3\. Just a Dream - Carrie Underwood (Steve’s perspective)  
> 4\. Pieces – Red (Tony to Steve)  
> 5\. Like I’m Gonna Lose You - Meaghan Trainor (Steve to Tony)  
> 6\. A Thousand Years – Christina Perri (Steve, Tony, Bucky or Peggy’s perspective)
> 
> Second part:  
> 7\. Shattered – Trading Yesterday (Tony’s perspective)  
> 8\. Little Lion Man – Mumford and Sons (Tony’s perspective)  
> 9\. Can You Feel My Heart - Bring Me The Horizon (Tony’s perspective)  
> 10\. Saving Me - Nickelback (Tony to Steve)  
> 11\. This Broken Soul - Rebecca Kneubuhl (Tony to Steve)  
> 12\. Fix You - Coldplay (Steve to Tony)  
> 13\. Young and Beautiful - Lana Del Rey (Tony to Steve)  
> 14\. All of Me - John Legend (Steve to Tony)  
> 15\. Parachute – Ingrid Michaelson (Tony to Steve)  
> [Link to playlist](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4JqKeJ9dCM&list=PL4XAAzzVMaYLZ86b3aQW9ZPIH-ikSAAcW)
> 
> Please let me know what you think! I started this fic for this scene specifically (it started the whole thing because of it) and would really appreciate some feedback. Love ya and I hope you enjoyed~


	10. Project Rescue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took forever but it's finally here! The update, at last.   
> Thank you all for patiently waiting! I hope this makes up for it.

The moment their jet touched ground Peggy and Sharon ran out without a goodbye and went directly for the building with a goal in mind and nothing in their way. Steve and Bucky were left behind and standing awkwardly as the engine of the jet continued running.

“Are we supposed to follow?” Steve said, itching to do something and get them to Tony faster.

“Nah,” Bucky crossed his arms, “when they’re both like this, best not get in their way. We’ll only slow them down.” He searched the area, noting all the agents standing at attention. “Let’s get out of here. I don’t know about you but the last thing I want to do right now is explain how the Iron Soldier went after us and how he’s actually our Tony. We’ll be stuck here for hours and I want to get to JARVIS already.”

Steve kept in pace as Bucky marched inside the building and maneuvered around the agents in the hallways. “Aren’t we going to wait for Peg and Sharon?”

“They know where to go. We’ll meet up with them there,” Bucky said as he pulled out his phone and typed a message. “Right now let’s avoid running into hotshots and get going. The more time we waste the farther away Tony gets.”

Bucky ended up walking faster, causing Steve to sprint to keep up and accidentally bump into agents that were distracted by their own agendas. “Sorry. Sorry, excuse me. Buck, where are we going?”

“Let’s just say we’re about to walk into the lion’s den.” The brunettes face turned grim. “Lion’s den is probably giving him too much credit. We’re going to walk into a building full of suit up bastards.” He gave the hallway a glance, pointedly looking at the agents wearing suits. “Well, bastards that are utter bastards for money reasons. Actually, when I say bastards I only really mean one bastard, but he’s plenty enough of a bastard for an entire building of bastards.”

“Buck,” Steve cut him off. “You lost me at the first bastard.”

A sigh. “We’re heading for Stark’s building. Howard’s legacy and Tony’s future. Last place JARVIS was ever active in before he got shut down. The coding for him should still be located in the building’s main frame. Most secured building around.”

Stark building. Howard’s building he had created and the building that was supposed to be passed down to Tony, before he disappeared and traveled through time. What had become of the building? “And we’re just going to waltz in? Most secured building around?”

“You bet. Just going to walk in. That’s what Peg and Share left to get. We got access to the entire building. Places no high level employee can enter. Hell, I don’t even think Stane’s secretary can access the main servers.”

“Stane?”

“Right bastard that one. Can’t say I like him. At all. You’ll see what I mean if we meet him.”

Steve took that moment to look at himself and then Bucky. “Don’t you think they might stop us when they see what we’re wearing?”

Bucky skidded to a stop and turned to look at his combat outfit and the Nomad suit. “Come to think of it, you’re probably right. Best not walk the streets with me wearing a bulletproof vest and you carrying a shield and wearing the star, the tights and the blue. People will talk.”

“I’ll go change really quick.”

“No,” Bucky stopped him. “No, no time. I know this is going to be hard, but just leave the shield. Or hide it somehow. With some luck civilians will just think we’re dressing up for some show, or something.”

“I can’t hide a shield. It’s a giant shield. What do you expect me to do, stuff it in my pants?”

“I don’t know, just do something. Decide for yourself. Just don’t carry it around in the open. People will swarm if they see the shield, I guarantee you they will swarm. We can’t attract attention.”

“And us wearing these outfits isn’t going to attract attention.” Steve said sarcastically.

“Oh, we’ll attract attention, all right, just not the threatening kind. Especially you. Men and women will enjoy staring at you from behind.”

Steve glared. “Bucky.”

“Right, sorry, not the time.” For a brief moment Steve saw Tony’s mannerism projected through Bucky. The brunette mimicked Tony’s hand movements almost perfectly. He wondered if Bucky had learned the trait from Tony, or Tony had learned it from Bucky. With all the time traveling fiasco it was hard to tell. “Especially now since you’re technically not single anymore.” A pause that left Steve reeling. “Just – did I just say that? _God_ , I’m sorry.”

Bucky scurried over to an abandoned corner in the hall. Steve followed him, looking concerned.

“Why aren’t you freaking out, Steve? I’m panicking here and you look all calm and collected. Aren’t you freaking out?” Bucky took erratic breaths.

“I’m freaking out, Buck.” Steve swallowed, taking in what Bucky had said. “I’m freaking out so much that all I want to do is yell at the sky for everything. I mean, is any of this even real? It all feels like a dream.”

“If it were it would make things easier. Shit, I can’t believe we’re doing this. I can’t believe this is all real. Only this would happen to us. First the serum nonsense, then the ice, then fucking surviving almost seventy years and still looking in our late thirties, and now finding that our Tony isn’t even dead.”

Steve grasped his flesh arm. “Come on, we can freak out together later. Like you said, the more time we waste just standing here the farther away Tony will get. And I, for one, want my boyfriend back.”

With a shuddering breath, Bucky grinned. “I want my son back. And, remind me to give you the shovel talk. I don’t care if it’s nearly seventy years overdue, you aren’t escaping it from me. I will tear you a new one, Stevie.”

Steve grinned back. “Wouldn’t have it any other way, Buck. Now, let’s go after him.”

“Let’s handle your shield first. Nothing is going to slow me down and I won’t hesitate to push any of your fans away. I’ll leave you behind if I have to.”

“How about we actually get moving instead of just standing here and threatening me.”

“Come on, I’ll race ya.”

~~

 

Stark building was, in one word - actually in more than one word - a big, ugly… building, in what appeared to be the middle of New York.

Granted it wasn’t that big compared to some grand structures located around it, but it was up there. And it was ugly.

Somehow it had earned Steve’s distaste, and he hadn’t even crossed the front door yet.

Maybe it was because of the architecture style? Glass windows everywhere and nothing outstanding or decorative on the roof. It almost looked… sad. A menacing sad. A distasteful kind of sad.

Steve felt tension build up in his body.

“Takes some getting used to,” Bucky commented, looking up at the structure with him.

“That’s one way of putting it.”

“I’d give you a tour, but I haven’t exactly step foot in this building for years. I couldn’t after…” Bucky waved a hand. “After the day he disappeared. Didn’t want anything to do with this building or the business or anything that had Stark on it. Don’t know what Stane has done with the place. For all I know he probably changed the location of all the doors. Made the place a damn maze.”

“It’s a good thing we called ahead for the grand tour, then,” said an accented voice behind them.

Steve and Bucky turned to find Peggy and Sharon standing behind them.

Bucky walked forward and gave Peggy a quick kiss on the cheek. “Perfect timing, Hun.”

“Can’t have our tour guide waiting now, can we?” Peggy began walking up the steps of the building. The others followed after her. “I promised Miss Potts this wouldn’t take long.”

Steve looked questioningly at Sharon, hoping for an answer. Sharon kept pace next to him. “Virginia Potts. She’s Stane’s secretary and the one who can take us to the building’s room with the main server.”

Steve remembered what Bucky had said after landing from the jet. “Didn’t you say you have access to the entire building?”

“We do,” Bucky answered, “but we haven’t been anywhere near here for years, remember? We don’t want to raise alarms and we definitely don’t want Stane on our asses. He’s going to ask too many questions and probably sick his guard dogs on us.”

“We can’t let him know what we’re after,” Sharon further explained. “If Stane hears about JARVIS he’ll do whatever it takes to try and get his hands on him. The last thing we want is for Stane to get an AI.”

“I take it its bad if this Stane person gets JARVIS?” Steve said.

“You’d be right.”

“Damn bastard’s been trying to get his hand on something big that can break the record ever since Howard disappeared,” Bucky growled. “Howard was the brain of this business. Without Howard you can guess how the company is doing.”

Meaning business was lessening slowly, Steve figured out. 

“Come on,” Peggy cut in, not allowing Steve to voice another question. “Miss Potts should be waiting for us in the lobby. If we linger our chances of avoiding Stane dwindle.”

Together they entered the building. Steve, unfamiliar with the corporate territory, stuck close to Bucky. Peggy was up front leading them to the lobby and Sharon seemed intent on keeping pace with her aunt. Bucky lagged along with Steve, probably to help him with the overwhelming atmosphere that came with a corporation. While it wouldn’t be the first time Steve was in a location with air of professionalism he had to admit that the inside of this place was… an experience, a very tense experience. Especially when even the agents from S.H.I.E.L.D didn’t look at him with such potency. Every worker upon entering the building looked at them with scrutiny. Considering what Steve and Bucky were wearing Steve couldn’t blame them, but on occasions the looks morphed to distaste and… Steve really wasn’t used to that.

It might have been cowardly but Steve used Bucky to hide as much as he could. He wasn’t afraid to admit it. All his fear went to the intimidating suit wearing business workers.

“There she is,” Peggy said, gesturing to the strawberry-haired dame standing with a clipboard, mighty heels and in a posture that suggested not to waste her time.

Upon reaching her the only exchange that happened was a nod between her and Peggy before she turned and began walking like a woman with a goal.

For someone wearing high heels she was surprisingly fast in them and Steve nearly tripped on his own feet trying to keep up with the abrupt start.

She didn’t say anything until they went through a pair of steel doors, led them further down the hall, passed another set of doors, and used her card to open an elevator. She kept the door open for them by placing her hand to activate the sensory.

“Take this elevator to the seventeenth floor. Make a left once it opens and the room you’re looking for is the third door on the right. Open it with this.” She pulled out a silver card and handed it over to Peggy.

“Thank you, Virginia,” Peggy said as she grabbed the card. “Will you be wanting this card back?”

Virginia Potts shook her head and waved a hand. “It’s going to deactivate in exactly four hours. Keep it, destroy it, do whatever you want, just make sure you find what you’re looking for and get out before someone goes searching. Don’t forget anything. I can only do this once. Once is suspicious enough, twice and they’ll take prisoners.”

“We’ll make sure to disappear once we find it.”

“We owe you one,” Bucky said.

“Don’t think anything of it. Just don’t ask me to do something like this again.”

“We promise to give you twelve percent.”

Potts snorted. “Twelve percent for all my troubles. Just get going. You’re wasting time from your four hours.”

“I’ll call you later to set up a lunch date,” Sharon promised.

“I’ll look forward to it. Just make sure to set up the date after everything’s cool down. Who knows what kind of mess you’ll end up dragging me into. Promise me… promise to tell me everything, please.”

Bucky, Peggy and Sharon nodded. “Promise.” They said simultaneously.

And with that they entered the elevator and Potts pulled her arm away and allowed the doors to close.

The elevator made quick work taking them to the seventeenth floor, but Steve still managed to ask and get an answer. “Miss Potts is willing to do this for us?”

Peggy hummed in a yes and turned to him with fond eyes. “You could say she’s… emotionally invested. She’s been working here in Stark Industries for years now. She was here when Tony was still living with Howard, before he was sent away. She, like most of us, fell for his charm. She’d complain on more than one occasion about not being a nanny since she was usually ordered by Howard or Stane to keep an eye on Tony when he was brought in the building.”

“We all know she loved watching over him. He grows on you,” Bucky added.

“She’s aiding us because we told her Tony is involved in what we’re doing. She, like us, wants to find him.”

While Steve was grateful for Miss Potts’ aid he had to think of the consequences with her knowing about their mission. “Is it safe for her to know? This sounds like delicate information for a civilian to have.”

“It is,” Peggy agreed. “She doesn’t know it all, just enough to give her the idea that he might be out there. That’s enough reason to help us inside without Stane trying to interrogate us.”

The elevator pinged as it reached their floor. The moment the door opened all of them rushed out and jogged left to find the room Potts had mentioned. With the swipe of the silver card they were all in and the sight of the main servers was breathtaking.

Steve had to stopped and just stare at the giant equipment with blinking lights and have spinning disks and wires all connecting in an almost perfect arch above them.

Of course while he was busy sightseeing Peggy and Sharon quickly moved to one of the smaller systems present, connected what Steve assumed was a very small version of a laptop and inserted a disk in the system. Peggy furiously pushed the buttons on the laptop and gave orders to Sharon to push the buttons on the system in timed order.

“Come on, come one,” Peggy mumbled, looking intently at the small screen with running numbers. “Come grab the bait, JARVIS. We need you one last time.”

Steve watched them work, feeling absolutely useless. His breath grew heavier and heavier as time passed and Peggy and Sharon continued pushing and typing away. At some point he ended up sitting with his legs crossed next to Bucky, who was lying on his back.

Almost an hour later found Steve joining Bucky on his back and together they stared at the ceiling aimlessly. They both shot up to their feet when Peggy released a “finally!”

“You have him, Hun?” The excitement in Bucky’s voice was hard to miss.

“I have him,” Peggy grinned. “I have the last encoding of JARVIS. Ever. Now we just need to bring him back.”

Sharon walked up, concern written on her face. “Where, though? Where are we to bring him back? If we go to S.H.I.E.L.D -”

Peggy and Bucky winced at the thought.

“No,” Bucky said. “No, I know we work for them, but there’s some things even I don’t want S.H.I.E.L.D to get their hands on, especially this. It feels… almost dirty to do it. Wrong to even consider what they could do with JARVIS.”

Peggy nodded. “I agree. We need another alternative, and the one available for our short time span is…”

“Shit. This is going to be one hell of an emotional ride,.”

Steve didn’t understand what Bucky was implying, but he certainly understood the emotional ride that may occur. He’d sort of been experiencing the wild ride ever since waking up from the ice. So in true fashion he couldn’t help but say “Tell me about it” in the most deadpanned voice he could muster.

Peggy started walking out of the room once she packed up the disk and laptop. “Safe to say none of us are going to be left unscathed after this is finished. Let’s think about that later. Right now JARVIS is waiting for us.”

After checking they hadn’t left anything in the room they made their way back to the elevator and spent the time riding down trying to control their nerves. Out of the elevator they stuck close to the walls as best as they could and maneuvered around the workers who were determined to get to their destination and looked to have no quells with pushing anyone out of their way.

Steve was able to breathe the tension of the building’s environment away once they passed through the doors and he took in a huge chunk of the New York air.

One step down. They were that much closer now. They just needed JARVIS to figure out the location and they’d take care of the rest.

~~

 

“Never thought I’d see this place again, and willingly at that,” Bucky muttered.

Steve stood next to him, gazing up at the large structure that could only be called a mansion. Peggy and Sharon had already gone inside, giving the building a single glance before marching inside and leaving Bucky to stand and gaze. Steve had stayed behind with him, not daring to go inside the intimidating mansion and not wanting to leave Bucky alone.

“Bad memories, I take it?” Steve had an idea of who the mansion belonged to and to be honest he didn’t want to head inside either, but he had an undying curiosity to see the environment Tony grew up in.

“Ever since they disappeared,” Bucky agreed and confirmed his suspicion. “Place was already big enough as it is, but without Tony it just felt endless. Couldn’t stand visiting when Tony got sent away and stopped completely when he disappeared. Maria had the place locked down when nothing came back about their disappearances.”

Maria. Maria Stark, Steve guessed. This was the second time she had been mentioned since Peggy first explained Tony’s parents after his recording.  “Will Maria be told about this?”

There was a long pause and from the way Bucky’s face fell Steve knew that Maria was no longer involved. He felt terrible at the thought. Both of Tony’s parents, gone.

“Maria died a year after they left. Car accident,” Bucky informed.

Steve swallowed. Was Tony ever going to catch a break?

“Come on. I may be against going inside, but there’s no way I’m going to miss JARVIS. I haven’t seen him since he deactivated.” Bucky went through the gates surrounding the mansion and jogged to the front door. Steve stuck close behind.

Inside the mansion was the image of a building that hadn’t been used in years. All the furniture were covered with grey blankets. Dust decorated every available surface. Walls lacked picture frames and artwork that were usually present in high establishments as mansions. Had the building been in current use it would’ve been a grand sight to see.

Steve followed after Bucky, taking in every corner they ran, every sorry looking and empty space that had nothing placed and give it a warmth feeling of home. He wondered how the mansion had looked when Tony had lived in it. Or at least, Steve figured Tony had lived in it. Why have a mansion and not use it?

He wondered if Tony walked these very halls they were taking when he was younger, learning his first steps, or running with his very first invention in hand, or getting chased around by Bucky and Peggy and even Jarvis.

He wondered if Tony ever felt lonely in the giant mansion.

They reached Peggy and Sharon shortly after. The two gals were standing in front of a screen illuminating the entire room blue and typed away on the giant keys connected. It seemed the disk with JARVIS’ coding was already inside and all that was missing was for Peggy to maneuver it together.

“You both made it just in time,” Peggy said, stopping what she was doing and stepping back.

“Wouldn’t miss seeing an old friend again.” Bucky went to stand beside her.

“Quite the reunion,” Sharon included. “How are we going to introduce Steve here?”

“Better question is how are we going to break the news to JARVIS about Tony?”

Numbers began running across the screen, twisting and turning to shape together and scramble away before another string of them flew across again. Then the heavy noise of a speaker being turned on echoed and the screen turned off.

Peggy sucked in a gasp. “Break the news like a band aid. We all know JARVIS isn’t a fan of withheld information.”

Steve didn’t actually know, and he had a feeling he really shouldn’t find out.

There was a long pause where none of them dared to move or say anything, waiting for something to happen. Bucky, Peggy and Sharon were looking up at different parts of the roof. Steve, from lack of a better place to stare, also gazed up at the ceiling, expecting for JARVIS to, he wasn’t exactly sure, pop out from the roof?

After hearing so much about JARVIS Steve imagined the AI would make a dramatic entrance when he was reactivated, but as the seconds went by he figured that wasn’t going to be the case.

Still, the disembodied voice that filled the room after Peggy said “JARVIS?” certainly made Steve almost jump an inch in the air.

“Ma’am?” The voice statically cracked for a moment. Probably from having spent two years without being used. It sounded confused, seeking answers.

“It’s good to hear you again, JARVIS. It’s been a while.”

“Two years, four months and seven days, according to the system’s internal programming. May I ask, why have I been reactivated again?”

“JARVIS, buddy, I know we promised to leave you be. Nine years of searching with no results and I’d want to be shut down, too,” Bucky said. “But, J, I think - no, I _know_ we got something. We wouldn’t have brought you back for nothing.”

JARVIS took a moment to respond but when he did Steve almost wanted to break down from how hesitant and small the AI sounded. “Sir?”

“We found him, J, we found him, but we need your help. He’s not himself at the moment. Some group got their hands on him and messed with his head. He doesn’t… doesn’t remember us, or remember who he is -”

He doesn’t remember us, or who he is. Didn’t remember Peggy, or Bucky, or even Sharon. Didn’t remember who he was, his name, his family… didn’t remember Steve.

“- we have information that might tell us where he’s heading to next, but it’s locked up tight. We can’t break the coding. Another AI is involved and we need you to counter it.”

“I’ll do everything I can. Please, insert the information so I may get started,” JARVIS ordered.

“Thanks, J.”

Peggy moved to insert the drive in one of the many slots located near the screen. Seeing nothing else to do Steve headed towards the hall to do some pacing around. He didn’t know how long it would take JARVIS to crack the coding but he figured he had enough time to try and distract himself for a couple of minutes.

It appeared he wasn’t the only one with the idea as Bucky and Sharon decided to join him. The latter asking him, “Something on your mind?”

“Besides everything that’s happening? Not much.”

Bucky snorted. “Same here.” They stared aimlessly at different spots of the hall. “You think we’ll be able to get him? He has been a ghost for the past sixty-six years. Even if we find where he’s heading, will we be able to get our hands on him?”

“I’ll bring him back kicking and screaming if I have to,” Sharon said. “I’ll threaten him with our playdate pictures of ‘84 as a last resort.”

Bucky laughed at that. No doubt there was an inside joke there that Steve hadn’t been informed of yet. The smile quickly faded. “He doesn’t remember your playdate of ‘84. Doesn’t even know us.”

The oh so familiar pain in his chest that was at this point an old friend to Steve flared up. Tony didn’t even know them. Those words naturally felt like a knife to his already stabbed (metaphorically and multiple times, too, mind you) heart, but unlike the previous wounds, this time he had the option to take action. Before there had been nothing. All his pain came from the thought of his lover deceased and there was nothing to do but let time heal the broken heart. Now, the pain came from the knowledge that Tony was out there with no memory and Steve could actually go and _do something_. To be able to bring Tony back, because Tony was _alive_ and needed his help, _their_ help.

Tony was alive and that was enough for Steve to get on his two feet and get to work.

He wasn’t going to give up on Tony.

And he knew Bucky, Sharon and Peggy weren’t going to, either.

Tony may not know them, but Steve was confident that with their help, “He will.”

The sounds of heels clicking had them turning to Peggy standing by the door. She had one hand clenched over her chest and her face alarmed. Her voice small, almost a whisper.

“We know where he’s headed.”

~~

 

They were on a time limit now. The moment JARVIS broke through the coding and revealed the information hidden within the numbers the objective was set in motion and nothing was going to stop it.

JARVIS was able to reveal what the unknown AI wanted to hide, but he was unable to prevent the AI from spotting him. The AI knew the information had been disclosed and had most likely informed the group responsible for using smuggled weapons as a decoy for their true intention. The group was in motion now, meaning Tony was in motion, and if Steve and the others wanted to catch him and prevent the unimaginable from happening and staining Tony’s hands red… no, _redder_ than they already were, they needed to hurry.

They had rushed back to headquarters to pick up Steve’s shield, armor for Peggy and Sharon, ammo for Bucky, and had requested (almost on the verge of confiscating) a jet. No agents were present this time. Peggy and Sharon were on the helm, making quick work of the distance. Almost a two hour flight.

The entire time Steve’s body was vibrating with the tension and the _need_ to get out there and find Tony and put a stop to the mission he was assigned to. God, Steve couldn’t believe what Tony was attempting to do. What group had taken him? What horrible luck did Tony have that he had been captured and taken by some sort of terrorist group? A terrorist group that had used the decoy of smuggled weapons in order to bring in bombs, a bunch of bombs of which the like had never been seen, let alone used, before.

Steve wanted to cry because, what had Tony gone through? What had he been _ordered_ to do?

Steve just wanted his Tony back.

They needed to hurry. If not because they could lose their only chance to get Tony, then because if they failed it could mean the loss of hundreds of lives and pure, mass panic.

The citizens needed Captain America.

And Tony needed his family and both Captain America and Steve Rogers to help him.

For Tony, Steve would lift the shield.

For the people, Steve would wear the title one last time.

“Estimated time of arrival, fifteen minutes,” JARVIS informed from the device he took temporary residence in, held by Sharon.

Peggy gave the helm to Sharon and stood. From the belt she wore over her suit she pulled out four ear pieces and distributed them. “Use these to communicate with each other and with JARVIS. He should be able to lead us to the location of the carrier. In case we separate he’ll lead us individually.”

“Take no prisoners,” Bucky ordered. “It’s going to be a shit storm once we step foot. We gotta reach the carrier before it takes off.”

Sharon pressed a button to her right and stood from her seat. She held out the device where JARVIS spoke from. “Here, one of you should take this. You’ll have more of a chance to reach the controls of the carrier than me.”

Peggy grabbed it and tucked it in her belt. “Be careful,” she said to them, but held her stare at Sharon.

“You, too.”

“Ready?” Steve closed his eyes, took a long intake of breath, prepared himself mentally, and when he opened his eyes again he was Captain America.

“Alert! The jet is under -”

The jet shook abruptly and violently from under them, knocking them all over on the floor. Sharon quickly regained herself and toppled over to the helm, gripping the seat and the wheel. “We’ve been hit!” she said in a panic. “Autopilot is off. We’re losing altitude fast.”

Peggy scrambled to get on her feet and run to the helm but whatever had hit them struck them again and sent Peggy, Bucky and Steve falling to the back of the jet. Sharon was nearly thrown off her seat but she remained firm and struggled to gain control of the jet.

“Get going!” Sharon shouted as the jet shook once again. “We’re coming upon a landing spot you can make. This is your chance!”

“Sharon!” Peggy tried running to her.

“Go! They’re aiming for the jet. I can distract them and strike from the sky long enough for you to get a head start to the carrier. Stop it from taking off and get Tony back.” She looked at them with determination in her eyes.

Steve recognized that determination. It was the same determination fueling his desire to put an end to all this and retrieve what rightfully belonged to them. Sharon understood what she was doing and what it entailed and showed no fear. He had to do the same.

“Promise,” he swore before turning to where the floor opened and twisted the handle for the door to release. The landing spot Sharon had mention was within sight and feet away from the jet now. Never hesitating Steve took a running start and leaped.

“Be careful, Share,” Bucky demanded before he joined Steve out of the jet.

Peggy held her gaze with her niece, snapping a “You better not get hurt,” and receiving “You, too, Aunty,” in return. She ran after the duo and joined them on the fall.

All three looked up once they touched ground to witness the jet, somehow still capable of flying, roar its engines and take off forward, bringing with it the blasts from fired weapons and giving them the chance to advance without heavy fire raining on them.

Together they ran through the wide variety of containers and trucks decorating the loading dock. Further before them was the remains of a small shipping yard, now completely empty and no longer apparently in use. A small carrier rested near the edge of the yard. Low on the water and connected to land by a bridge. They could see men transporting crates to the carrier, moving what appeared to be the last of their equipment, and quite possibly their weapons.

“JARVIS?” Peggy said to the device.

“The carrier is ahead. 246 meters,” JARVIS confirmed.

It was also then that guards began firing at them. They ducked behind the still available containers, managing to dodge bullets and blasts, but knew eventually they’d run out of cover and didn’t have many options left, especially when the carrier was across the empty yard they’d have to pass in order to reach it.

All three skidded to a stop behind the last few containers. Bucky and Peggy began firing back at any available targets in hopes of lessening the attack, but the longer they remained the more guards appeared to replace their fallen comrades and they were moving closer.

Then the roar of a broken down engine filled the skies and above them Sharon hovered and fired the jet’s weapons, striking at the guards gathered together and raining down explosions and burning containers. Some of the guards went down while others ran. The few that were clear of the firing continued their assault but were quickly thrown away by Sharon.

Steve saw his chance and took off across the yard. Bucky and Peggy weren’t far behind. They continued their shooting when they came close to the bridge and the men transporting crates revealed weapons of their own. Steve sent his shield flying, striking at one and bouncing it at the rest. Slowly they reached the end of the bridge touching the carrier and were feet away just as the ship released a loud boom, followed by the bridge began rising soon after.

“Ma’am,” JARVIS raised his volume, “Project Quilt has been activated and is on the process of the first stage. Hurry. The carrier will rise at any moment.”

Rise? Steve couldn’t have heard that right. Carriers didn’t… rise. But he wasn’t going to let his confusion stop him. He figured if an AI that knew the steps of a terrorist attack ordered them to hurry up and get on the transporter he should damn well listen and get on already.

The bridge continued rising, slowly slanting upwards and away from the carrier that was now pulling back further into the waters. It was now or never. Steve ran across the slanting bridge, feeling his legs burn as the angle strained his muscles. He pushed and pushed until the edge of the bridge was within his reach and once he was a step away he didn’t give it a second thought and jumped, flying across the water and landing on the surface of the carrier in a roll. When he stood he found Bucky and Peggy there with him, straightening out and surveying the area.

All three of them had notable looks of surprise when the carrier released another loud boom followed by a whirring sound and right before their eyes they witnessed the carrier slowly… rise up. The water grew further apart from the carrier. The ground gained distance. The buildings appeared smaller, and they knew this wasn’t a regular carrier.

“Impossible,” Peggy said with shock in her voice. “The only carrier capable of this is in production. How did they manage to -” she stopped, exchanging a silent thought with Bucky,

_“Tony,”_ they said together. 

“The advanced weapons, the upgraded equipment, an _AI_ ,” Peggy listed.

“It’s all him,” Bucky said. “These bastards know what he’s capable of.”

“And the bombs…”

Steve understood. The advanced weapons that S.H.I.E.L.D couldn’t keep up with, not without Howard. The carrier capable of flight. The bombs with power not seen before. They were all because of Tony, because he was a genius and because the group that captured him knew what they had in their hands. Tony was a golden goose they were going to exploit and abuse until there was nothing left.

“We need to get him as soon as possible,” Steve repeated, “but first we need to take this carrier down.” This carrier that had the bombs mentioned before somewhere inside. They needed to land this bird again before it reached any of the marked locations that could cause widespread panic if bombs were activated there.

“Captain Rogers, if I can connect with the main server of the carrier I may be able to gain control,” JARVIS informed.

Peggy nodded. “We need to find a connection. Any room with a terminal should be fine. The problem is reaching it.”

Bucky reloaded his weapon. “Better get started then. If Tony did have a hand in building this carrier then our flight time has been cut down.”

“Move!” Steve ordered just as enemies made themselves known and began firing at them. All three ran behind what cover they could find. They fought back as they tried advancing towards the nearest door leading inside the belly of the carrier. Steve took down multiple enemies with his shield and Bucky and Peggy caused many to duck and cover with their firing, giving them the opportunities to sprint across open ground and get them closer to the doors.

Some of the men attacking them managed to get within reaching length but they were quickly handled with a punch, a spinning kick, and in Bucky and Peggy’s case excellent maneuvering that almost made it look like a waltz.

Adrenaline pumped in Steve’s blood, and while Bucky and Peggy were doing a great job in taking down enemies after enemies he was doing his fair share by taking them down brutally and gracelessly. These men were part of a terrorist attack and had taken Tony. Those two reasons alone were enough for Steve to show no mercy.

When they finally reached the doors Steve charged and burst through them, using his shield to take most of the pressure. Inside he continued charging with his shield up to knock out the few men wanting to ambush them.

The hall was momentarily clear and they searched through the rooms for any sort of connection, but as they came upon storage rooms and empty spaces they soon realized they had entered the carrier from the living accommodations.

“JARVIS, were there any designs of the inside of this carrier in the information you revealed?” Peggy grabbed the device from her belt and held it near her face.

“There was, Ma’am,” JARVIS answered. “I have the entire layout. Turn right two corridors down to come upon a main -”

They followed the directions, coming upon a large room that easily made the front hall to an even larger section. When they were about to pass through a loud whistle assaulted their ears and they quickly moved out of the way of a blast of light. Steve instantly recognized the blast and raised his shield up as another blast hit it square on the center.

Tony stood in the center of the room, right arm raised and charged with whatever the power source of the blasts were. He didn’t have the goggles or the muzzle. His face was free for them to see. If Bucky or Peggy held doubts of what Steve had seen when the muzzle was first removed from the Iron Soldier, there was no denying who they were seeing now. Both Bucky and Peggy gasped when they took in the details of Tony Rhod - _Stark’s_ face.

“Tony,” Bucky breathed out. It was finally sinking in.

Tony marched forward and released another blast. Steve jumped to the left and ended up separating from Bucky and Peggy as they jumped to the other side.

“Tony!” Steve tried, hoping against all odds that somehow Tony recognized him, or at least saw something familiar in him.

It didn’t do anything besides gain Tony’s full attention. Tony focused his attacks on Steve and Steve alone. Using his shield, Steve reflect each of the red blasts back. They struck different spots of the room, causing the steel and metal of the walls to break and tear apart and rain down everywhere.

“Sir!” Steve heard the disembodied voice of JARVIS shout from the opposite side of the room.

Tony didn’t pause. He continued his assault.

The AI shouting reminded Steve that there was another part to what they were doing. While his heart ached to get to Tony and take him away from all this and acquire aid, there was the matter of the carrier carrying bombs to some of the most populated areas and threat preventions.

And while he knew the most important was preventing harm to citizens, Steve couldn’t bring himself to leave Tony.

“Both of you go!” Steve ordered as he reflected another blast. They looked ready to argue but he wasn't having any of it. “I'll bring him back, I promise. Now go! You have JARVIS.”

They hesitated, of course they would hesitate. This was their Tony, their boy they watched grow up and helped raised along with Sharon. This was their son, but they understood there was more pressing matters to attend to, no matter how heart wrenching it was to pull back.

They trusted Steve to get him back and together the two ran for the section connecting to the room. Tony's attention shifted momentarily to them and aimed, but Steve threw his shield to strike at the raised arm and unbalanced him. The shield landed lifeless on the ground.

Bucky and Peggy disappeared when they turned a corner.

Tony's gaze landed on Steve, hard and livid. It was unnerving and completely _wrong_. Tony's beautiful eyes that once showed life and spirit now being used for despair and suffering. Steve couldn't stand to see it.

He rushed to where his shield had landed, lifting his arms up to cover his face when Tony released a series of red blasts at him. Metal flew everywhere and smoke began to rise. Still, Steve continued forward, rolling when the shield was within reach and reflecting back the attacks. Tony was forced to move out of the way of his own fire and Steve took his chance to move closer to him. He charged with the highest speed he could reach and struck just as Tony balanced himself out and returned the sentiment.

Tony unleashed a number of punches that Steve diverted away. Not wanting to hurt his lover Steve focused all his efforts on blocking and redirecting all of Tony’s attacks, but he knew he needed to do something soon if he hoped to help the genius.

“Tony, please, stop this!” Steve tried when he managed to pin one of Tony’s metal arms with his own. “This isn’t you.” Tony kicked at his shin and punched his shoulder, freeing his arm. The next set of punches pistol to Steve’s face. He barely managed to deflect most of them and when Tony found it a lost cause he began redirecting his punches to Steve’s shoulders, chest and stomach.

Steve continued blocking, but some of the lucky strikes hit him square on target and left him breathless. “Tony, please.”

Tony punched again, bearing his teeth and growling, “That’s not my name!”

Steve could feel the start of tears in his eyes. But he wasn’t going to give up. “Yes, it is. Your name is Tony.”

“No, it’s not!”

Steve continued. Hoping, praying, that somehow his attempts would go through. That something, anything, would trigger his memory and he’d remember being the lovable little genius Steve fell in love with and won over Bucky’s heart. But all he saw was rage in those dark eyes that showed no sign it had once shined in a golden brown.

“Tony -”

The carrier shook, causing Steve to kneel in order to avoid falling over entirely. Tony barely toppled, his eyes snapping towards the large section of the carrier before taking off and running down. It took Steve seconds to figure out the reason for it and he quickly gave chase, desperation fueling his movement and fear clutching his chest. Bucky and Peggy must have succeeded in taking over the carrier with JARVIS and Tony must have realized this. He was now running to either regain control, or go after Bucky and Peggy.

They entered the large section of the carrier and inside there were different levels of floors. Tony was already on the second floor and was jumping to reach the third. In the center of the floors there was a giant support that appeared to be a sort of terminal with cables sprouting up upwards and connecting with the rest of the carrier. Bucky and Peggy were nowhere to be seen, meaning they had connected JARVIS somewhere else.

A siren blared and from somewhere in the room a red light began blinking, signaling immediate danger. Steve had landed on the third floor as it began. Tony was within reach of the terminal now. Not wanting to give him a chance to regain control of the carrier, Steve aimed and threw his shield to strike at the terminal. It sparked as the shield imbedded itself in it and Tony released a furious cry.

In a split second Tony turned, aimed his right arm and fired at Steve and without his shield to reflect it Steve was struck right on the center of his chest. Steve flew backwards, landing on his back. Not having time to recognize the pain that most likely flared in his chest, Steve began rolling in order to avoid any more of the attacks.

Then a loud explosion echoed across the entire aircraft and this time when the carrier tilted both Steve and Tony fell to the ground. A loud cracking sound was heard and suddenly there were steel rods and metal falling all around them. Three more explosions and the falling debris was slowly becoming dangerous rubble.

Steve was lucky enough to avoid a large pile of wreckage landing meters away. His heart sank when he searched for Tony and found him under steel rods, pinned down. The carrier shaking uncontrollably made it difficult for Steve to run for the fallen genius. Steve was thrown and hit railings as he made his way to the rubble, but he made it regardless. The rage that had been in Tony’s eyes was no longer there. Fear clutched those dark eyes and it instantly changed to confusion when they witnessed Steve grab the bottom of the rubble and lift.

Steve pushed the piles of steel rod and rubble away, breathing heavily as yet again the carrier shook from another explosion. The bombs must have been going off, breaking the aircraft apart. If Steve didn’t get Tony out of there now there was a large possibility they wouldn’t make it out alive. He needed to get Tony out of the aircraft, one way or the other. He wasn’t leaving without him. Steve had made a promise.

In a last attempt to jog a memory Steve unclipped his helmet and yanked it off, throwing it across the floor. He gave a pleading gaze as he said, “You know me.”

Tony was back on his feet. The rage returned to his eyes. “No, I don’t!”

“Yes, you do. You...” Steve swallowed, “you grew up hearing about me.”

Tony grew up hearing about Captain America, and if that was who Tony needed at that moment then Steve was going to be Captain America again for him.

Steve saw Tony charge his arm and aim but didn’t move out of the red blast’s way. He took the full force of the hit and continued standing, shaking. “Your name is… your name… you told me your name is Tony Rhodes. Everyone knows you as Tony Stark. Your name is Tony.”

“Shut up!” Tony shouted, the rage slowly dying and fear returning. He continued firing, but with each blast the aim grew erratic. No longer was he aiming with precision. He was now aiming with distress.

Steve persisted chanting Tony’s name, over and over again. “Your name is Tony. You are Tony. Tony Stark. Tony Rhodes. Tony belongs to you.” His body slowly took a toll from the continuous blasts. By the time Tony inched forward and had his right hand inches away from his face Steve was on his knees, still using his name. “I’m not going to fight you. You’re Tony. You’re my…” _my friend, my lover, my genius, my Tony_ “You’re my friend.”

Tony pulled his arm back and struck Steve, knocking him down on his back. “You’re my mission,” Tony cried, punching Steve again as he remained on the ground. “You’re my mission!”

Steve could only imagine what he looked like, but he refused to fight back. It was for Tony, and if this was what it took Steve would go through with it. He laid limp on the ground. Tony clutched at his suit and held him up. His arm was raised for another strike. “Then do it.” His Tony. His little genius. “Finish it.” Steve felt himself smile against all odds. A tear running down his swollen face. “Because I’m your friend… you’re my… my partner, and I love you.”

Tony’s stricken face was the last thing Steve saw before his body gave out and he fell unconscious.

A cry was heard from across them. Bucky came running towards the two bodies on the ground and gave a shout of anger as he saw the unmoving form of Steve with Tony kneeling over him. Without thinking he yanked out his weapon and fired, causing Tony to roll in order to avoid the bullets. He straightened and began firing the red blasts at the newcomer.

Bucky had a raging fire of hatred in his chest from the sight of his best friend on the ground and the culprit hovering with his arm raised, ready to end it. But as he fired again and again the hatred was quickly extinguished. The face of his little baby boy burned in his head. The first days he held the infant in his arms. The toddler shrieking with surprise from the tickling sneak attack. The small child’s laughter of joy from getting piggyback rides and kicking relentlessly to go faster. The small boy running to him with an invention and the pride Bucky felt from it. The eighteen year old who spoke his mind and bantered with him day and night.

Bucky didn’t see the ghost, the Iron Soldier. He didn’t even see the killer that had just put his best friend on the ground. He saw his baby boy, his son, his little brother.

The aircraft shaking gave them a pause. When they resumed they had a standoff. Bucky with his machine gun and Tony with his right arm. Both of them aiming for the other’s head. None of them dared to move.

Bucky took the leap and closed his eyes, putting the gun down. “I can’t do it.” He threw it across the floor, joining the pile of rubble.

When he opened his eyes again it was to Tony’s stunned confusion and frustration. His eyes were stricken and arm was shaking. _“Why?”_

Bucky gave him a lopsided smile and tilted his head sideways. At that moment the Iron Soldier disappeared and all Bucky saw was Tony Rhodes standing in all his eighteen year old glory. “‘Cause, I’m with you to the end of the line, Kid.”

He was able to witness and hear Tony’s sharp intake of breath before the arm fired and struck Bucky on his chest. He blacked out when his head made contact with the ground.

This was what Peggy came into when she appeared. Never minding Tony standing feet away with his arm aimed at her she moved to Bucky, falling to her knees to gently grasp his head and hold it over her legs. She ran her fingers through his hair. “James,” she whispered.

She gave Tony a glance, but didn’t make a move. The carrier was breaking apart. Huge chunks of metal and steel colliding and tearing it further. Sooner or later the very floor they were standing on would collapse, but Peggy paid little mind to it. Her focus was on the Iron Soldier, her little boy.

She gave him a watery smile, never breaking eye contact. “My little bird, we’ll always be here for you, if you ever need us.”

The arm was shaking uncontrollably now. For a moment Peggy was absolutely sure he was going to fire and critically hurt her, but to her shock and growing hope he yanked his arm back and turned abruptly, running away.

Before Peggy could say anything else the carrier finally gave in and the wall besides them broke apart. Half of the room sank down, falling to the ground. Steve was on that half of the room.

Peggy’s heart stopped as she saw Steve’s body fall with the debris. “Steve!”

From the corner of her eye there was movement. She turned in time to watch Tony run and jump over the edge. The section under her feet gave in seconds later and she fell along with Bucky.

Water was found at the end of their fall. Peggy kept Bucky above water as she swam to land.

Steve was found still unconscious on the side of the lake.

Tony was nowhere to be seen.

~~

 

Steve woke up to a strange sense of deja vu with the beeping heart monitor ringing in his ears. His body hurt, his face felt twice the size than normal and his head felt as if it would explode at any moment.

With more effort than it should he turned his head to find Bucky sitting on a chair to his left. Peggy and Sharon sat to his right. All of them were staring aimlessly at different spots in the room and wore different assortment of wrappings and bandages.

His mouth was dry and tongue felt heavy, but still he spoke. “How many years was I asleep this time?”

All three snapped their heads. Relief filled their eyes. They all smiled softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you thought!


	11. We Started a Joke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is nigh!

Steve adjusted his hat for the eleventh time since entering the exhibition. None of the many visitors have recognized him so far from a misplaced hair strand or his visible cheekbones, but it didn’t hurt to make sure, especially considering his very face was on display in the exhibition. 

However, even with his face on display, no one seemed to bat an eye at him, nobody except for the little boy who just seemed to  _ know _ . It warmed his heart seeing the delight in the kid’s eyes, and while on most days the sight would’ve left him in a good mood, standing in the middle of the exhibition instead of using his valuable time searching for Tony left him anxious and twitchy. In fact, Steve would’ve been out there already if it weren’t for Bucky and Sharon guilting him into coming. 

It was safe to say that Steve didn’t care much for a tribute meant for him. If the entire exhibition had been about him and only him he would just told the pair their time was better spent searching for plausible sightings that JARVIS had picked up. But since the tribute was meant for everything that made Captain America it obviously included the Howling Commandos, and didn’t that just sink the knife imbedded between his ribs some more. 

As he stared at the face that belonged to Tony Rhodes the need to get out and continue searching grew more and more, but he remained in place. He was paying his respects. The Howling Commandos had been his friends and partners in war, and Tony Rhodes a cherished memory. And while he knew Tony wasn’t technically dead there was no denying that Tony Rhodes died all those years ago from falling in the mountains. 

Bucky and Sharon had every right to guilt him into staying. The Howling Commandos deserved this tribute and deserved every visitor paying their respects to them. The only thing that bothered Steve about it was the fact that the tribute only happened because ‘Captain America’ was spotted fighting an enemy. There was still public debate on whether it was actually Captain America from the war or just a man sporting the gear and throwing a giant frisbee around. Either way it was enough to prompt an exhibition to be placed in honor of the title. 

“Now you’ve done it,” Bucky had said. “The people are never going to let this go. You’re going to be on every billboard and cereal box around, Steve. I hope you’re ready.” 

No, he wasn’t ready, but there wasn’t much he could do. If the people now believed Captain America was back then so be it. If they believed he was an imposter then so be it. Steve had more pressing matters than quelching speculations. Let the people believe what they wanted to believe, so long as it didn’t get in his way of finding Tony. 

But just for the day he was going to hold back his captaining duties and pay homage to his old life. Now if only his old life would stop throwing the reason for his current captaining duties to his face. 

He continued to stand in front of Tony’s display screen, reading the facts provided for his information. As he read everything he already knew a realization hit him. Everything that made Tony as Tony Rhodes was both true and a bunch of lies. True because the facts presented were those created during his time in the forties, making the man he had known. Lies because those very facts weren’t Tony at all. Tony Stark was someone entirely different, someone Steve desperately wanted to learn and get to know, but  it seemed he had lost his chance to do so. There was no Rhodes and no Stark. It was just Tony now. A Tony that needed his help,  _ their  _ help. 

“You know, the more I look at his picture the more I realize what an idiot I’ve been for not piecing it together,” Bucky appeared next to him, studying Tony’s display. “Same eyes, same cheekbones, same nose. I must have been in some deep denial to not have recognized him.” 

Steve’s eyes shifted to every feature named as Bucky said them. “It’s not your fault.” 

“Maybe, or maybe I’m the whole reason it happened. I did talk about you a lot, after all. Practically encouraged him to build the machine and jump through time just to see you.” 

“Doesn’t that make it my fault then?” 

Sharon took up the space on his other side. “Ever think that maybe it was all of our faults? There were a lot of variables that led him to creating Tony Rhodes and we all contributed to it somehow.” 

Steve hummed, not able to think of a counter argument. When it came down to it they really couldn’t know what prompted it to happen in the first place. Not unless Tony himself explained it, and since the genius was currently suffering from amnesia he didn’t think they’ll be getting the answer any time soon, or ever. 

“Excuse me,” a voice said from behind them. A lady and her son were looking over their shoulders, wanting to see the display screen. Thankfully they weren’t recognized. Their caps doing an excellent job, it seemed, in obscuring their faces. 

“Sorry,” Sharon said and they moved to the side, allowing the display to be seen but not getting far away from it. 

The pair gave Tony’s picture and the facts list a brief look before continuing their observation to other displays, spending more time on Captain America’s face. 

“Come on,” Bucky said and began walking. “If we just continue to stare at Tony’s picture they’re going to think we’ll want to steal it.” 

“It’s a screen,” Sharon frowned. 

“Exactly. We already look odd with our caps on. They’ll think we’re doing some sort of stakeout for easy money.” 

“If only they knew the truth.” 

“The point is for them not to,” Bucky pointed towards the direction of the displayed gear of the Howling Commandos. “Let’s go see our old getups.” 

They walked up to the section where the outfits were placed in a V shape with the Captain America armor standing front and center. Bucky’s and Tony’s own outfits setup behind it and the rest of the Howling Commandos follow after. 

“Is this where my old getup went to?” Steve remarked, leaning against the rail and lazily gazing at the setup. “I thought I was taller.” 

Bucky snorted. “You’re tall enough, Pal. You don’t need the extra inches.”

“I could be taller.” 

“How about no.” 

“I’m getting boots with six inch heels. You got any suggestions, Sharon? Or know anyone who does? I’m going to tower and no one will stop me.” 

“I’m sure Virginia has a suggestion or two,” Sharon said. “She has killer heels that can decapitate you in a second.” 

“Sounds like my kind of heels.” 

“No,” Bucky shook his head. “No recommending high heels for Steve. That’s the last thing he needs.” 

“Don’t be a stick in the mud, Buck.” 

“Yeah, Buck,” Sharon repeated.   

“Unbelievable,” Bucky turned around so his back was to the outfits and his front was to the visitors. “I need to separate you two. Who knows what kind of trouble you’ll cause. You’ll end up starting a heels movement if I don’t keep an eye on you.” 

“Nothing wrong with that. I think I’ll look good in heels.” 

“You’re not getting anywhere near heels, Steve.” 

Sharon leaned close to him. “Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered. Just say when.” 

Steve chuckled. “Thanks, Sharon. I’ll keep that in mind.” 

His gaze rested on the outfits, mindlessly staring at the detail presented. The colors, the texture, the patches and belts and pockets. He had to wonder if the Captain America getup was actually his own or if someone with really impressive attention to detail recreated one themselves. Steve would believe either option. He hadn’t found his suit, the one he was frozen with, since waking up, and either S.H.I.E.L.D had their hands on it and hidden it away somewhere in a safe, or someone (Bucky or Peggy) decided to donate it to a museum of sorts, or quite possibly it was too battered and torn to wear again so they just threw it away. The first two options seemed more plausible.

Either way he had to wonder who the one responsible for the suit on display was. And not just his suit, no, the entire Howling Commandos. He was almost tempted on taking every single one just for the sake of having his old friends with him, but one quick look at Tony’s old uniform and the idea was quickly pushed away. 

Tony wasn’t gone, he was just lost at the moment. 

And remembering this brought forth the anxiety to get out there and continue searching for the genius. 

“Whoa! It’s Captain America.” 

Steve went still, his body stiffening. They couldn’t have recognized him. His back was to the one who spoke and his cap was still firmly placed. They couldn’t have figured it out just from his shoulders or back. 

The sounds of pattering footsteps came closer and Steve held his breath, only to release it in relief when, besides Bucky, three kids around the age of ten appeared and began frantically pointing at the outfits. Some of them even stood on the rails and leaned forward as if by sheer will and determination they could reach out and touch. 

Steve laughed off the sudden adrenaline his body created. “Remind me to never make fun of your cap idea ever again, Buck. Works like a charm.” 

Bucky didn’t respond or give any indication that he heard him. 

“Buck?” Steve studied his friend from the corner of his eyes. Bucky’s outline was still there, meaning he didn’t up and disappear at the last second. Something must have caught his attention. He tried one more time. “Find something to nick?” he joked. 

Only, it seemed Bucky wasn’t in the mood for joking. In fact, he appeared almost spooked, if the way he latched onto Steve’s arm as if it was a lifeline and his face became a chalky white had any indication of it. 

“Bucky?” Steve stood straight, waiting for his best friend to respond. The adrenaline was back. Whatever had Bucky react in such a way meant serious business. 

“Steve,” Bucky’s voice cracked. That was enough reason for Steve’s body to prepare for a fight. Bucky shook his arm, almost desperately, but his eyes remained on a spot within the group of visitors. He spotted something, something that caused his eyes to go wide. “Steve.” 

Steve followed his line of sight, searching every face, every display and every threatening stance, but found nothing out of the ordinary. That was until a particular group of visitors broke apart, leaving a open space big enough to create a spotlight on one certain figure. A figure standing in front of Tony’s display screen, visible only on his side and wearing a cap with a hood over it. The last two were odd on their own and Steve had to admit that Bucky had a point when it came to just standing in front of something and hiding their faces. They appeared up to no good. 

Steve could only see the jaw with stubble and thought nothing more. Not until his eyes landed on a small spot at the end of the figure’s sleeve. Wedge between the sleeve and a gloved hand, just barely visible by a shift of the cloth, was a shiny dark-silver. It could’ve been jewelry, it could’ve been keys, it could’ve been anything, but as Steve watched the spot and the figure turned his body just enough to reveal more of their face, Steve’s breath left him. 

There Tony was, studying his image, frowning at it. It was as if he didn’t understand. 

“Oh, my God,” Sharon said. 

Steve took a step forward. He needed to make sure, he needed to  _ see _ , that Tony was truly standing there, but Bucky held him back. “We need a plan, Steve.” 

“There’s no time for one. We need to move and we need to move  _ now _ ,” Steve stressed. If Tony disappeared again it could take another half year before they could even get this close to him. This was a chance, an opportunity given to them. They could not allow it to go in vain. 

Steve broke free, using the crowd to hide and march forward as fast and inconspicuous as he could. He heard Bucky hiss his name but other than that he didn’t stop him. Steve continued, getting closer and closer. Tony was within sight and if Steve could somehow sneak up and grab hold and hold him there as either Bucky or Sharon flanked the other side they might actually be able to bring him home. 

But then Tony began to move, turning his head their direction, and Steve’s entire body went cold. His heart leaped when someone grabbed his shoulder and spinned him around. Bucky forced his head down and they were joined by Sharon, making it appear as if they were huddled together and casually chatting. 

“You’re an idiot,” Bucky scolded. “We can’t get to him here with all these civilians. What if he attacks? There’s a reason why he’s making it hard to find him. He’s not going to willingly go with us.” 

“We have to  _ try _ ,” Steve reasoned. They were so  _ close _ . “He’s right there, Bucky. He’s right there.” 

“I know he is,” Bucky scowled. “I spotted him, remember? But we have to think this through.” 

Steve wanted to growl, to do something to let his frustration be known. Instead, completely by idiotic and thoughtless impulse, he looked towards Tony and came upon large, brown eyes, looking at him. He had been spotted. 

Time stopped for the briefest of seconds. For a longing and foolish moment Steve thought recognition was going to pass through those eyes. A spark to show Tony was still in there. Steve’s name spoken through his lips.  _ Anything _ . 

Nothing happened. Nothing but false hope and fear in Tony’s eyes that came from having been found. 

Time continued the moment Tony began running, pushing through the crowd and aiming for the exit. 

“He’s on the move!” Steve took off after him. 

“Goddammit,” Bucky growled before he and Sharon followed.

Steve weaved through the visitors as fast as he could without causing injuries, but while he prided himself in having excellent maneuvering skills even he couldn’t go through a crowd without pushing or nearly knocking someone down. But while he would feel guilty about his rude treatment to civilians later, right at that moment he could not risk taking his eyes off Tony. One move, one sudden and sharp turn, and Tony could disappear from them all over again. 

Steve locked in on Tony’s outfit. Green jacket, red shirt, dark jeans, brown backpack, he could not lose sight of it. They were outside now, out of the exhibition. Tony was running through the streets, using the cars to his advantage. Steve had to jump over the hoods of plenty in order to still have him within his sights. Tony tried using pedestrians to hide, but a man running and looking as if they were trying to avoid getting caught tended to prompt reactions of avoidance and many of the pedestrians moved out of the way, making a path for Steve. When he saw the opening Steve put everything he had in his legs and sprinted as fast as he could. 

His cap was gone by then and there was no doubt that civilians were taking notice of his inhuman speed. It didn’t matter to him. He had one goal at that moment and one goal only, and that was getting Tony back home just as he promised. He was not going to let go of Tony that easily. Not again. 

He had lost Tony on the train and on the carrier. Third time was not a charm and Steve was not going to welcome it.

Tony continued running. Steve continued chasing. Somewhere behind he knew Bucky and Sharon were also following. Another surge of adrenaline that sped up his legs and now Tony was almost within reach. If he could lunge, take a leap, he might just be able to strike his feet and give him seconds to get a hold. But just as he started preparing to do so Tony took a sharp turn, in-between buildings and away from the civilians. Now it was truly just a straight forward run, a clear path that Steve planned on using. 

Before he did he needed to try again. “Tony, stop! I am not your enemy.” 

Tony continued running.

“I want to help you!” 

He still continued. 

“You know me!” 

That had done something. The smallest of things. Tony looked back. His curling hair obscured his eyes but Steve didn’t need to know what his eyes expressed because Tony looked back. 

And then Steve saw the most beautiful thing that could occur at that moment. A dead end. Unless Tony somehow learned to sprout wings he was basically trapped, and while on other scenarios getting trapped was considered a bad thing, or even a death sentence, depending on the situation. For Steve, getting Tony trapped in one spot was everything he needed. It gave him an opportunity to talk Tony down without the fear of him escaping clouding part of Steve’s judgement. 

In his haste and blinding hope he had forgotten about what happened when a frightened animal gets trapped in a corner. As soon as Tony ran out of concrete to run he spunned around and aimed his right arm at Steve. Tony’s panicked eyes were what stopped Steve. Not his whirring arm with the visible red circle on his palm glowing through the glove’s fabric, capable of firing a lethal blast and aiming at Steve. 

Steve didn’t have his shield, didn’t even have his cap anymore. He only had the clothes on his back and determination. He was not geared up for fighting someone infamously known as the Iron Soldier. And after what happened the last time, he probably wasn’t the best choice to try and stop Tony on his own. 

He still had to try slowing him down long enough for Bucky and Sharon to arrive. 

Steve held his arms out. A universal sign of no harm that even a ghost assassin had to know. “Tony.” 

“Don’t,” Tony threatened. His arm just a will away from firing. 

Steve planted his feet. “All right. All right. Just, please, let me help you.” 

Tony neither fired nor said anything. That had to be a good sign. 

“Do you… do you know who I am?” 

“I - I don’t… no, I don’t -” Tony looked to be arguing with himself. “I don’t know.” 

“I do,” Steve took a leap. It was a long shot, and not properly planned, but it was something. “I know who you are and who you used to be. And you know me.” 

“I don’t,” Tony growled. 

“You do. You know me. You don’t remember, but you  _ know  _ me,” Steve put his arms down. “Please, let me help you. Let  _ us  _ help you,” he amended when he heard two sets of footsteps getting closer. “Whatever it takes we’ll be there for you.” 

Tony’s back was to the wall now. The arrival of Bucky and Sharon caused him to retreat, but with walls enclosing him in place there was nowhere to go except forward and through them. The newly arrived pair were breathing heavily. Sharon had her gun out, holding it steady, but even from an angle Steve could see she wasn’t aiming right at Tony. She was aiming to the side of him. 

The arm was shaking now. A small tremble, but visible to them through the glare of the light on the silvery surface. Tony hadn’t attacked yet, even with the arrival of Sharon with a gun. He was holding back for reasons unknown. For Steve it was a beacon of hope. Small hope, but hope none the less. 

“Tony, let us help you,” Steve pleaded. 

Tony’s stricken eyes shifted between the three of them, appearing unable to decide on what to do. “ _ Why _ ? Why do you  _ care _ ?” 

“Because you’re family,” Bucky said, moving forward. “And family helps family, even when one can’t remember. You can keep running all you want, can keep hiding, but we’re not giving up. We’ll help you, even if you don’t want it.” 

“I don’t need your help,” Tony barked. 

“Maybe, but there are others out there looking for you, too, and unlike us, they don’t want to help. We’ll look out for you, give you some protection.” 

“No!” Tony responded immediately. 

Steve could feel his resolve breaking. He wanted to take Tony with them willingly, but if it came to it he wasn’t going to hesitate in dragging the genius kicking and screaming. He just wanted his Tony safe. “Tony, please -” 

“No! No protection and no groups. I’m not going back. I’m never going back.” 

Steve felt his heart soar. There was hope. There was  _ real  _ hope. “Then we won’t get their help.” 

“You think I’m a fool?” Tony snarled. “I know the  _ precious  _ Captain America works for S.H.I.E.L.D. They’ll sooner hang me than help.” 

“They won’t because we’re not going to them for help. We’ll help you ourselves if we have to.” 

“Steve,” Sharon whispered. “I hope you know what you’re doing. We’re surrendering professional help for this. Tony deserves the best.” 

“And he doesn’t want it. We’ll help him how we can.” 

Sharon huffed but said nothing else. Bucky was frowning but otherwise didn’t add to it. 

Tony mauled it over. “How do you plan on doing that, Captain? Your precious agency provides for everything you have.” 

“Not for me,” Bucky said. “I work for them but they don’t provide my living. My revenue comes from somewhere else, and I have plenty of it. We’ll get you professionals, if you want. We’ll hide you away and help give you a life where you don’t always run. Just let us.” 

“How can I trust your word?” 

“You don’t. You’ll just have to look deep inside your gut and trust your instincts.” 

Steve remembered where Tony was standing when they first spotted him. “You saw your display, your name. You were part of the Howling Commandos. You fought along with us. You’re our friend, our family. We didn’t lie about your name, why would we lie now?” 

“For plenty of reasons,” Tony said. His arm stopped trembling and his eyes weren’t as haunted. If anything he looked really tired and appeared seconds from giving up. He eyed them sharply for seconds before finally saying, “How do you plan on hiding me without your agency knowing?” 

“We have a way,” Sharon said, pulling her gun back and tucking in her belt. “We can leave a trail to another direction easy, but it’s up to you if you want to accept it.” 

For a brief moment, the briefest of moments, Tony had done something that gave Steve reason to believe that his Tony was still in there somewhere. Tony shifted his gaze down, rolling to the walls and back, all the while his tongue pushed against his lower lip. It was something Tony had done plenty of times before when he was anxious or didn’t know how to respond. It was one of the many habits that made Steve want to hold him. This habit, specifically, always made him want to grab the adorable face and just kiss the look away. 

Now, however, he couldn’t just walk up to the genius and plant a big one unless he wanted to scare him away. That was the last thing he wanted. 

Quick as it appeared it disappeared and Tony made his face indifferent. The raised hand clenched, covering the glowing hole. The whirring sound slowed to nothing. It took a near minute, but finally Tony lowered the arm and nodded. “I won’t hesitate - if you go back on your word. I won’t hesitate to fight back. I  _ will  _ hurt your men.” 

The three accepted it. “Promise,” Steve said for them. And while on the outside he held himself back, on the inside he couldn’t believe it was happening. It was finally happening. They had found Tony and were bringing him home. They were finally going to help him. He was going to be safe. He was bringing him back like he had promised.

And even though Tony wasn’t his Tony he fell in love with, Steve’s heart knew who it wanted, and he believed no matter what he was going to continue loving Tony. Rhodes, Stark or a healing Iron Soldier. He would always love him. 

Tony eyed them suspiciously. “How do you plan on sneaking me out of here? The last thing I want is attention, and right now both of your faces are plastered in a building where hundreds of people are visiting.” 

“We have a place to go and lay low,” Bucky said. “We’re going to need to be careful until we reach 24th. Once we get there it should be smooth sailing.” 

“Where?” It was obvious Tony wasn’t going to move until he knew of the entire plan. 

“A mansion.” As soon as he finished saying it Sharon turned her head to him. The movement was so sudden and revealed more than it let on that Tony aimed his arm again, growling. 

“Who lives in the mansion?”

“No one except for us. We’re temporarily using it.” 

The genius didn’t look amused. “Do not lie. I said I won’t hesitate -” 

“No one  _ alive  _ beside us lives in the mansion. A friend of ours, he lives in the systems and is more interested in getting you back than turning you over to our agency and losing you again.” 

It took longer to lower his arm, but eventually Tony did. “How do I know your mansion isn’t connected to your agency.” 

“It’s personal property. S.H.I.E.L.D isn’t allowed anywhere near it unless it’s an emergency, and even then they contact us or we contact them first. They won’t find you there, so long as we continue to ‘search’ for you. We can’t give them reason to be suspicious.” 

“How do you expect to do that.” 

“I don’t know,” Bucky was growing frustrated. It was a hard task trying to convince a wary assassin, but even harder to discourage a determined Bucky. “We’ll detail the plan as we go, but if we just continue to stand here we’ll end up serving you in a silver platter. We don’t want that. Just come with us. No one will find you there.” 

They waited for Tony’s response. They didn’t dare act until the genius made the first move. He was in control. They couldn’t overstep their boundaries or they’d risk spooking him. But finally, after it seemed forever, Tony took a hesitant first step and then another and another until he was standing before Steve. 

Brown eyes pierced blue. No recognition were in them, but there was the faintest signs of a spark. A small spark wanting to grow but being held back by years of repression. “Show me then.” 

It was a start. A shaky start but a start they could work with. They could hide Tony from anyone hunting him down and they could aid in his recovery, help regain memories and maybe even manage to bring some of their Tony out. 

It might all be false hope, but that was all Steve had to cling to. He’d take it. 

“Come on,” Bucky nodded to the streets. “The sooner we get moving the better.” 

Bucky and Sharon began moving, adjusting their clothes as they went. Steve waited to take up the rear. Tony took the hint and began walking, but not before shooting Steve another look, trying to understand. 

To make it feel less confined Steve made it so he was walking by Tony’s side while still maintaining a distance to allow the genius space. He was close enough to reach out in case Tony decided to bolt but as they continued walking it was clear Tony wasn’t planning on going anywhere. 

Steve couldn’t stop the growing hope even if he tried.

~~

 

Steve watched Tony walk around the common room of the mansion with tension on his shoulders and suspicion in his eyes. The mechanics around his right arm wouldn’t stop moving and snapping and on occasions the whirring sound would echo, signalling the arm charged and ready to fire the moment Tony thought they were going behind his back. Which, if they weren’t careful, the genius could interpret the arrival of Peggy to be. She was, after all, one of the founders of S.H.I.E.L.D. 

Sharon walked up, her arms crossed. “Steve, while I’m really happy that we managed to get him back, where do we go from here?” 

Honestly? Steve didn’t know. His plan mostly consisted on trying to find Tony and convince him to return. He hadn’t really planned further than that. He imagined, since they were temporarily taking residence in the mansion, that Tony would join them resting there and have all the privacy he required. Bucky, Peggy, Sharon and Steve himself would help him recover and adjust, talk about everything that happened and was currently happening. Talk about his past life to see if it helped trigger any memories and just listen to what he had to say. 

It should be simple, but Steve got the feeling it wasn’t going to be that easy. He also knew he was probably the last person who should be planning the recovery. He was too emotionally invested, and being too emotionally invested could potentially end in him becoming blind to any damage. He would be causing more harm than good for Tony. They all could, which was why they were waiting for Peggy. She was the one trained in separating her emotions from her mission, and since they already had Tony with them she could stop the worry of finding him and focus on the task of helping him. 

At least, that was what Bucky had said. 

She did seem the more responsible one. 

“We’ll wait for Peggy and go from there.” 

Sharon nodded and made a show to gaze around the room. “This mansion has plenty of room, and already has JARVIS in it.” 

“You’re thinking we should settle him here?” 

“It’s not as if anyone knows we’ve found him, and we’re already using it. It wouldn’t seem odd to suddenly move in.” 

“No, it wouldn’t. Still, we should probably talk this over with Peggy.” 

“She’ll say the same thing.” 

“You seem so sure.” 

“Trust me,” Sharon gave a smirk. 

And it turned out she was right. Granted, while the arrival of Peggy Carter, one of the founders of S.H.I.E.L.D, was a little less than pleasant because Tony had believed they had betrayed him by bringing the agency there to capture him, it was the quickest situation diffusion they’ve had. 

“My name is Peggy Carter. I’m an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D, a founder and had been the director. I came alone. No one knows of your presence.” 

Peggy had been calm with her hands tucked on her sides, back straight and her eyes never left Tony. 

“How do I know it’s not a lie?” Tony had his arm aimed at her. 

“If it were we’d be blocking all potential exists right now and the place would be surrounded. The front door is right there and there is no one else besides us. You’re welcome to leave, but if you decide to stay we’ll help you every way we can and make sure you remain safe.” 

Steve panicked for a moment, ready to plead all over again for Tony to stay, but as he waited for Tony to respond he realized he was thinking over the words carefully. Peggy had somehow given Tony the proper words for him to trust her, even if they sounded contradicting. 

Tony eyed them all. “What do you propose?” 

They talked it over and somehow, like Sharon predicted, the most favorable plan was giving a room to Tony in the mansion. It was the only option available that didn’t raise suspicion. If Steve, Bucky, Peggy or Sharon were to suddenly start visiting a new possible location to hide Tony people would grow curious. And nothing was more dangerous than curiosity. With the mansion they already had the excuse of having used it months prior and the resources available to them with it, mostly JARVIS. It was also private property and had some of the best available security. A bit outdated since the place hadn’t been touched in years, but it was still top of the line for current times 

And if there ever came a moment where curiosity encouraged illegal entry, well, Tony had plenty of rooms to hide in and remain invisible and a loyal AI to help. 

Come to think of it they still needed to reintroduce Tony and JARVIS. The AI was eager. 

“And you think I’ll be safe here?” Tony questioned them, standing a fair distance away. 

“Safest option around,” Bucky said “It’s private property. Unless someone wants to get pressed charges they won’t dare come in here without permission. We’re not giving just anyone permission.” 

“Wouldn’t your people grow suspicious if you refuse them?” 

“You’ve managed to hide yourself well these past few months. I’m sure you can find somewhere to go while we have guests over.” 

There was the faintest of smiles on his face. Barely there, but Steve caught it. Then his face darkened, eyes guarded. “What do you hope to gain from helping me? My loyalty? My skills?” 

The others remained quiet. For a moment Steve thought they didn’t hear Tony’s question, but when he caught Bucky’s eye and saw him nod his head toward the genius Steve understood they wanted him to answer. This question was for him. “No. We don’t want any of that.” 

“Help comes with a prize.” 

“Not for us. We just want to help.” 

“Don’t lie,” Tony snapped. “No one does this just to help. Everyone wants to gain something from helping.” 

It was true, in a twisted sense. Anyone who helped always gained something from it, even those who helped because it was the right thing to do. They gained nothing material wise, but they do gain satisfaction. They felt better about themselves knowing they made someone's day. 

But that wasn’t them. They weren’t helping because they gained riches or contentment. They were helping because, for their own selfish reasons, they wanted their Tony back and they wanted Tony safe. They weren’t saints, but they weren’t evil, either. 

And so Steve agreed. “You’re right. We do want something.” 

Tony waited for him to continue, waiting to say yes or no on what they wanted. 

“You,” Steve said with all his honesty. “We want to help you because we want you here. You don’t remember, but we do, and we want to help you regain that part, if we can.” 

Tony’s eyes widened just a fraction and Steve was reminded of how Tony looked on the carrier as he tried to convince him of the truth. Tony still didn’t believe it, but he was no longer in full denial. There was a spark there. A spark of fear of it being true. He was starting to get convinced. 

That was a start and Steve was going to happily take it. 

“I’m not him.” 

The small gasps from all of them signalled to Steve that they weren’t expecting him to say that. 

“Whoever you keep saying I am, I’m not. You can try, you can help all you want, but I can never be who you’re looking for.” 

In a way Steve knew he was right. Tony was never going to be the lovable genius he fell in love with again. No one was ever the same after experiencing dramatic events, and the events Tony had gone through were as dramatic as they came. But Steve wasn’t going to give up. A person was never the same, but it didn’t mean they weren’t in there anymore. A portion of Tony was still there, and a new one was waiting to get discovered. Steve fell in love with Tony once, and was still in love. He can learn to fall in love again. So long as Tony had him. 

No matter what Steve was always going to love Tony. 

“Maybe, but we will still help. If you let us.” 

Tony locked eyes with him and for a brief moment Steve saw eighteen year old Tony sitting in the alleyway, tucked in a ball and waiting for help. He remembered the first time he saw those big brown eyes and remembered how stubborn he was to help the young genius. 

This was no different. He was going to help. He was ready to offer a broken heater if it came down to it, but he was here to stay. 

Tony wasn’t going to get rid of him that easily. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it everyone! The end of I Started a Joke. Thank you for joining me on this ride and I'd really appreciate it if you left a little comment behind. I wanna see who is still here and who's interested in seeing the next part for this. That's right, part 2! I hope I see you there!   
> Thanks again for reading! 
> 
> Part 2-   
> 'Started the Whole World Crying'
> 
> “Tones? Oh, my God, Tones? It’s really – but how – ? What happened?” 
> 
> “James Rhodes, correct?” 
> 
> “To-Tones?”

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  I'll tag it with what I know but if you guys spot anything that I need to put down please be lovely dears and let me know!
> 
> Drop a hi over at my [Tumblr](http://naferty.tumblr.com//)  
> Love to hear from people.


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